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Hekate
Elite Baiter
Joined: 08 Aug 2005
Posts: 1338
Location: Scotland, UK
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Posted:
Fri May 18, 2007 6:34 pm |
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What's that old saying about lunatics taking over the asylum???
Gratz, you three! |
_________________ 'suck meee son of a bitches fucking retard peoples' M C phonelad
We have on our programms according to the lay down rules to pay the Asians mostly the indians and malasians now and after that it may change. Rev. James Ucheomma
do you really think that i am just a stupid man like you,listen for the veru last time if i did'nt see XXXX after 24 hours you will heat your self.. [love scammer Chucks]
IT'S NOT I LOOKING FOR WORK.GOD FORBID.I CAN BE IN AN OCEAN AND WASH MY HEAD WITH MY SPIT. THANKS AND GOD BLESS.
MARK DOUGLAS.
2 x
See SP's Irish Safari!
x14
Click here to support 419Eater.com |
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lotta
Baiting Guru
Joined: 08 Jun 2005
Posts: 13613
Location: 2 Speckled Cct Springfield Lakes QLD 4300
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Posted:
Fri May 18, 2007 8:28 pm |
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A baby seal walks into a bar and sits down. "What can I get you?" asked the bartender.
"Anything but a Canadian Club" replied the seal. |
_________________ <a href="/forum/donate.php">[Click here to donate to 419Eater.com]</a> Lead Support Contact for Missing Posts - (pm me)
bank kills
Alan James Watson (AKA Bi Gal, AKA Big Al, AKA De Master Yoda) -2007, 2008, 2009, 2010 "Doos of the year" award winner
Frederick Fokker:
"I am giving you about a month to get your act together, i am cutting you and the eater a bit of slack"
Dec 11, 2007
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Hekate
Elite Baiter
Joined: 08 Aug 2005
Posts: 1338
Location: Scotland, UK
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Posted:
Fri May 18, 2007 8:32 pm |
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A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender sets the beer down and says, "For you, no charge!" |
_________________ 'suck meee son of a bitches fucking retard peoples' M C phonelad
We have on our programms according to the lay down rules to pay the Asians mostly the indians and malasians now and after that it may change. Rev. James Ucheomma
do you really think that i am just a stupid man like you,listen for the veru last time if i did'nt see XXXX after 24 hours you will heat your self.. [love scammer Chucks]
IT'S NOT I LOOKING FOR WORK.GOD FORBID.I CAN BE IN AN OCEAN AND WASH MY HEAD WITH MY SPIT. THANKS AND GOD BLESS.
MARK DOUGLAS.
2 x
See SP's Irish Safari!
x14
Click here to support 419Eater.com |
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SamV
Baiting Guru
Joined: 10 Oct 2003
Posts: 2968
Location: U. S. of frickin' A., Baby!
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Posted:
Fri May 18, 2007 8:46 pm |
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A bear walks into a bar and says "I'll have... a beer." The bartender says "why the pause?" The bear says "I was born with them." |
_________________ WHY DID YOU GIVE ME ANOTHER PERSONS TELEPHONE NUMBER TO CALL YOU. THE
MAN YOU GAVE HIS NUMBER IS A NIGERIAN WHY???
"No goat porn? Well how 'bout a petting zoo?" Crashhoot, Vegas 2006 |
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Les Noise
Elite Baiter
Joined: 06 Mar 2006
Posts: 1098
Location: Behind the fridge
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Posted:
Fri May 18, 2007 8:47 pm |
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A toothless termite walks into a bar and asks."Where is the bar tender?" |
_________________ ..................................................................
FUCK YOU AND UR PAYMENT I GUSS YOU ARE A BIG FOOL
GO FUCK UR MAMA PUSSY SHIT
..................................................................
I believe when you received your payout you will compensate me.... .. Sure Will..
x11 |
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PRS Girly Girl
Will Post for Food
Joined: 06 Mar 2007
Posts: 1174
Location: Any place where cute shoes are on sale.
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Posted:
Fri May 18, 2007 8:54 pm |
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A man walked into a bar holding an alligator. He asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?" The bartender said, "Yes, we do!" "Good," replied the man. "Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for my alligator."
A dyslexic guy walks into a bra..... |
_________________ "A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are." Chauncey Mitchell Depew
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." Robert A. Heinlein
x3
Banjul, The Gambia to Dakar, Senegal and back. 0usman C4mar4 |
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kleindoofy
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 24 Oct 2004
Posts: 6248
Location: Europe
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Posted:
Fri May 18, 2007 9:13 pm |
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This thread needs sooooooo to be locked. |
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Inspector Gadget
Angel of unrealistic meetings
Joined: 20 Feb 2007
Posts: 6259
Location: Trumpton
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Posted:
Fri May 18, 2007 9:38 pm |
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Man goes in a bar.....
There was a time when is was just peanuts and crisps. |
_________________ x2 Co bait with Rumbero Sao Tome island to Gabon van donation
Co bait with Jayhawk and VJD. Stanley's bottle tour Aba to Lagos
Team Hector, airport in installments and St Louis to Kayes
Halil, Cotonou to Accra
+ Precious 10/08/11
x8 x34 x 73
grown up man like him, still doing all this shit games - Stanley, (he doesn't like Parcel Direct)
You again do the strange reflections stuffed with drugs? - Natalia
x3 Hector 24/1/13 Moses 15th Oct 2011
x 2Mick Ole 11th Sept 2014-16 Asare Akuffo start 4th Aug 2014 |
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fistymus
419Eater is my life
Joined: 10 May 2007
Posts: 254
Location: Under my hat, wearing my moustache
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Posted:
Fri May 18, 2007 10:33 pm |
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Two men walk hurridly into a bar, one asks for 6 pints of bitter and 3 packets of peanuts, he then hands over a 50 pound note and says "Keep the change, you've got about 3 minutes to enjoy it". A large space ship loomed exactly the way a large gold brick wouldn't...
erm sorry went off track as per usual. |
_________________ "My doctor told me this morning again that i might not be able to survive..Please Father Barry, i need you prayer's..I don't want to die so soon.Please pray for me." - M3lissa W3alth
"Sorry, Ive just realised I selected new topic and not post reply ...... I meant to post this in the mentors thread " - bang2rites
x1 |
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ol-fishinbait
Master Baiter
Joined: 10 Aug 2006
Posts: 190
Location: Not where the 419-ers think I am ;-D
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Posted:
Fri May 18, 2007 10:41 pm |
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David Hasslehoff walks into a bar:
"Gimmie a beer, please"
"Sure thing, Hasslehoff!"
"Just call me Hoff"
"Ok, no hassle." |
_________________ I don't fall for 419s. 419s fall for me.
"YOU ARE THE BIGGEST FOOL I HAVE EVER MET IN MY ENTIRE LIFE PLEASE DO NOT WRITE ME AGAIN." "Me." - C0||inz M@rK and "H3c+0r Br0ck|ebank", respectively
"THE MTCN NUMBER IS ALWAYS TEN DIGIT SO WHY THE ALPHABETS."- N0s@ 0k0duwa
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it wasn't me
Elite Baiter
Joined: 18 Feb 2007
Posts: 1043
Location: sitting in the corner drinking wine, eating cheese
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Posted:
Fri May 18, 2007 10:43 pm |
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A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road." |
_________________ Do not be sceptical be pessimistic - Lotto scam.
I just don't know how to express the gravy of my happiness. - Barrister M Abd0lla
you nose i have been away in the middly east. -Ali Al1
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fistymus
419Eater is my life
Joined: 10 May 2007
Posts: 254
Location: Under my hat, wearing my moustache
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Posted:
Fri May 18, 2007 10:44 pm |
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it wasn't me wrote: |
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road." |
The barman turns round and says, I'm not serving you, you've come in with a cyclepath! |
_________________ "My doctor told me this morning again that i might not be able to survive..Please Father Barry, i need you prayer's..I don't want to die so soon.Please pray for me." - M3lissa W3alth
"Sorry, Ive just realised I selected new topic and not post reply ...... I meant to post this in the mentors thread " - bang2rites
x1 |
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Nanny Ogg
Baiting Guru
Joined: 19 Mar 2007
Posts: 2628
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Posted:
Fri May 18, 2007 10:50 pm |
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A man walks into a bar and asks for a pint.
"Would you like a malt whisky" says the barman? "It's free."
"Yes please" says the man
He gets given the pint, double malt and �20 from the till.
Same happens next round
Hmm thinks the man , better say something.
" the boss around?" he asks the barman
"no" is the reply
" he's up the road doing to my wife what I'm doing to his business" |
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Tommo Shanter
Baiting Guru
Joined: 13 Jan 2006
Posts: 5378
Location: Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad. - Euripides
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Posted:
Sat May 19, 2007 5:38 am |
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A visually impaired man walks into a bar. Not surprising really, he'd left his guide dog at home. |
_________________ £1,052,334.30 (=US$2,121,125.60) lads fake cheques out of circulation (at 11/6/2008)
x135 (at 26/9/2008) x138
"i see your not interested in the transaction but catching your fun, calling names and my muckery of me." - Usman Bello
"You need to visit a good psychiatrist very fast, because some nuts are missing from your brain." - PROF.SOLUDO
"...it is very important you forward the your cycling proficiency certificate which by right belongs to you." - Prof Charles Soludo.
"note i can still change my mind to blow you off and whenever" - T0ny 'The Killerman' Erik
YOUR GENERATION WILL ROAST IN ABSTRACT POVERTY,BASTARD IDIOT -Daniel Mensah
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it wasn't me
Elite Baiter
Joined: 18 Feb 2007
Posts: 1043
Location: sitting in the corner drinking wine, eating cheese
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Posted:
Sat May 19, 2007 6:07 am |
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A mushroom walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "I
can't serve you." The mushroom says, "Why not? I'm a fun-guy." |
_________________ Do not be sceptical be pessimistic - Lotto scam.
I just don't know how to express the gravy of my happiness. - Barrister M Abd0lla
you nose i have been away in the middly east. -Ali Al1
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Seven of Nine
Baiting Guru
Joined: 18 Jun 2006
Posts: 2147
Location: Somewhere in time.
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Posted:
Sat May 19, 2007 7:37 am |
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Two lengths of string are standing in a queue to enter a nightclub. After waiting a while, they reach the door. One is allowed in whilst the other is refused entry. The first protests to the doorman, and points at his friend's clothes. 'He's better dressed than I, surely he should be allowed in, rather than me', said the first to the bouncer.
The doorman replies, '`fraid not'. |
_________________ x7 x27 x2 x2
100% risky free donation modality |
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it wasn't me
Elite Baiter
Joined: 18 Feb 2007
Posts: 1043
Location: sitting in the corner drinking wine, eating cheese
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Posted:
Sat May 19, 2007 8:45 am |
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A mugu walks into a bar .....
(I dunno, I'm blonde. You do the punchline!) |
_________________ Do not be sceptical be pessimistic - Lotto scam.
I just don't know how to express the gravy of my happiness. - Barrister M Abd0lla
you nose i have been away in the middly east. -Ali Al1
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Gantz
419Eater is my life
Joined: 26 Apr 2007
Posts: 299
Location: Sitting on the most uncomfortable chair it has ever been my misfortune to own. It numbs my bum :(
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Posted:
Sat May 19, 2007 9:15 am |
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I was going to post the only "Man walks into a bar" joke I know but it's too damn long and I'm too damn lazy. |
_________________ Darling i really don'y like spaeking about sex orally because it is against my religion,i prefer we praticalized it - The lovely Sandr@ |
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llamedos
Been There, Done That
Joined: 04 Jun 2004
Posts: 2695
Location: ^^^ Wherever the other side has gone to
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Posted:
Sat May 19, 2007 11:37 am |
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I've only just found this thread!
Yes, yes, very poor, I know but look, I've been in the mod lounge clearing up after the party, OK?
...and let me tell you something,... these mods are absolute animals when they get to unlock the Pimms cupboard....
A$$ kissers: your wonderfully delightful comments about me are duly noted and you are now earmarked for future lenience
The rest did I mention callum? I may yet have my revenge |
_________________ x13 x 15
Accra - Lome (16/7/05 midnight - 5am) Accra - Lome - Benin Jul '11
Barrister Addo Williams: I want you to know that I am not impressed with your performance towards this project.
Mattins Wilson: ...and they stated morken me and tarfing at me as if am a full, so please it is enough OK. /AND/ I promise you for all this furffring that you are furffring to me <--- No, I haven't a clue either
Peter Ovdo: I want you to have trust in me that all is ok as stated in my last mail to you which i wrote in big letters
Ethel Gnassingbe: FOUK YOU AND GO TO HELL
"I am a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up" |
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Dark Spirit
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 18 Mar 2007
Posts: 660
Location: In the Darkness
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Posted:
Sat May 19, 2007 12:31 pm |
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I walk into a bar !!!!!!!!! and just get pissed |
_________________ DARKNESS IS A PLACE WHERE ONLY FEAR LIVES. Oh and me too
God himself wii judge you for trying to delay and make someones life a waste, Mother felicia, April 30th 2007
Thanks very much for fooling me ok and i dont have any other thing to say, Helimina Bright, May 1st 2007
Pleasantly, that we have understanding and continue intercourse, Elena USSR vlad, May 1st 2007
"read the stickies and the faqs." Newbie forum
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battery
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 31 May 2005
Posts: 930
Location: a wonderful yet shit place to live
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Posted:
Sat May 19, 2007 2:33 pm |
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A Bar Joke
If you travel north up the A60 over Hendnesford Road, pass through the old town of Rugeley and up a little track named Cotton Rd, you will arrive via a series of twists and turns at a little well kept pub named the Wicket, just on the edge of Admaston. This pub, it could be said is a buttress of true British publyness, retaining it's jovial medieval atmosphere, from it's plum copper bar top to it's merry little open fire. Come rain or shine, it has thrown an open door to travelers and locals alike in it's duty to the thirsty and the faithful, making their way through the heart of the British Midlands.
One night when my car broke down nearby this little country retreat, I felt it prudent to make a dash for the nearest drinking establishment, which happened to be the Wicket. It was a Thursday evening on a dastardly winter's night and lashings of freezing cold sleet poured over the rain sloshed and wind swept heath. The glow from the windows of the pub beckoned to me like the friendly hand of a old sage reaching down to pull one out of the quagmire into which one had sunk.
I entered the pub and as I suspected, there were none but a few of the more seasoned drinkers, who had dared to venture out into storm. I sat down at the bar and began reading a copy of the Cannock and Rugeley Chronicle with a large mug of beer and half a cigar I had found in my glove compartment next to an empty hip flask. I had completed no more than five of the relatively bovine clues of the dreadful crossword puzzle in the broad sheet, when an almighty rumble signaled the entrance of a large and disgruntled customer.
"psst", whispered the barman, "that's the fucking M6 right there!"
"you what", I replied turning my head. And sure enough, spilling tarmac, traffic cones and tumbling automobiles all over the floor was the bulging, straggling form of the huge and dirty bypass up to Birmingham. The massive lumbering motorway ignoring me sat down at the bar two stools across from me, covering the bar with bits of sod and bolts and things.
"The usual sir?", bellowed the barman, handing the M6 a bottle of Famous Grouse amid the din of smashing masonry. The M6 didn't reply, but snatched the bottle and huddled around it muttering to himself.
I was stunned, but not as stunned as when two clues later a second devastating cacophony shattered the atmosphere and in walked another motorway.
"That'll be the M25", said the barman, who appeared to be resigned to this sort of thing. Without bothering to ask, the barman fetched a bottle of Jim Beam and set it in front of the M25, who parked down next to the M6 in a similar fashion, showering everything with bits of broken traffic and old tires.
Not wanting to disturb either of them I retreated to a corner and continued to pour over the elementary subject matter of the Chronicle crossword puzzle and sipped my drink. Five minutes later I noticed that a scene had begun to arise and I watched with some interest.
A long, but very thin slither of red tarmac had also entered the bar, sidled in between the M25 and M6 and was apparently trying to cadge a cigarette from one of them.
"Come on y'twat crash us a fucking snout mate", hissed the new customer gesticulating at both of them.
The fuming M25 was beginning to stand up and look down on the red tarmac, just as the barman ran round to the front of the bar to address the scene.
"Listen", he said, "We'll have no trouble, not tonight. It's a shit one outside; let's just sit back down and I'll buy you both a drink. Just forget about it okay", he said, proffering a stool back to the M25.
"I kick him fucking head in", bellowed the M25, who had idly cracked open the bottle of Jim Bean on the side of the copper bar and was brandishing it at the tarmac, "little bloody chav wanker".
"No seriously", advised the barman, "you don't want to do that. Just give it a rest ok, I'll get you another bottle and we can just have a nice quiet drink". He patted the M25, on the hard shoulder, gesturing at the stool.
"You what?", the M25 inquired incredulously, "Do you know who I fucking am mate? I'm the M25, the biggest, hardest, dirtiest motorway in the South. I have toll gates longer than that bit of crap down there and I'll be a steaming pile of fresh loam if I ain't going to shove this bit of glass so far down his throat, he'll be blowing test tubes every time he farts."
"Naah Naah mate, I know who you are", said the barman, "You're the M25, I know. I'm telling you; you don't want to mess with that one It's not worth it, trust me. Come on mate, let's just have a quiet one okay?"
"Well why the bloody hell not?" asked the slightly deflated M25.
"Because", said the barman, leaning in closer and whispering,"that bit of tar down there....."
....."Is a cyclepath"
By Battery - It's not one of mine, but I tell it better |
_________________ x14
DONATE
---
I don't deserve a pony
of course you deserve a pony-lotta
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