SmartFeedSmartFeed          

Porsche Hangout


WELCOME - YOU ARE CURRENTLY VIEWING 419EATER AS A GUEST

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

ScamWarners.com - Internet Anti-Fraud Center - now open!


 Please welcome our new mods

View next topic
View previous topic
 
Post new topicReply to topic
Author Message
Hekate
Elite Baiter


Joined: 08 Aug 2005
Posts: 1338
Location: Scotland, UK


PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2007 6:34 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

What's that old saying about lunatics taking over the asylum??? Laughing Laughing
Gratz, you three! Wink

_________________
'suck meee son of a bitches fucking retard peoples' M C phonelad

We have on our programms according to the lay down rules to pay the Asians mostly the indians and malasians now and after that it may change. Rev. James Ucheomma

do you really think that i am just a stupid man like you,listen for the veru last time if i did'nt see XXXX after 24 hours you will heat your self.. [love scammer Chucks]

IT'S NOT I LOOKING FOR WORK.GOD FORBID.I CAN BE IN AN OCEAN AND WASH MY HEAD WITH MY SPIT. THANKS AND GOD BLESS.
MARK DOUGLAS.

United Kingdom France 2 x Netherlands
Cellphone
Safari See SP's Irish Safari!
Mortar x14
Golden Pith



Click here to support 419Eater.com
View user's profileSend private message
lotta
Baiting Guru


Joined: 08 Jun 2005
Posts: 13613
Location: 2 Speckled Cct Springfield Lakes QLD 4300


PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2007 8:28 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

A baby seal walks into a bar and sits down. "What can I get you?" asked the bartender.

"Anything but a Canadian Club" replied the seal.

_________________
<a href="/forum/donate.php">[Click here to donate to 419Eater.com]</a> Lead Support Contact for Missing Posts - (pm me)

Nigeria bank kills South Africa Netherlands Netherlands United Kingdom United Kingdom United Kingdom United Kingdom Spain Spain Spain United Arab Emirates
star star
Mortar Nurse Nastys Audi TT Mc Fry

Alan James Watson (AKA Bi Gal, AKA Big Al, AKA De Master Yoda) -2007, 2008, 2009, 2010 "Doos of the year" award winner

Frederick Fokker:
"I am giving you about a month to get your act together, i am cutting you and the eater a bit of slack"
Dec 11, 2007

Elton Purple Flower Black Ribbon Flying Monkey
View user's profileSend private message
Hekate
Elite Baiter


Joined: 08 Aug 2005
Posts: 1338
Location: Scotland, UK


PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2007 8:32 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender sets the beer down and says, "For you, no charge!"

_________________
'suck meee son of a bitches fucking retard peoples' M C phonelad

We have on our programms according to the lay down rules to pay the Asians mostly the indians and malasians now and after that it may change. Rev. James Ucheomma

do you really think that i am just a stupid man like you,listen for the veru last time if i did'nt see XXXX after 24 hours you will heat your self.. [love scammer Chucks]

IT'S NOT I LOOKING FOR WORK.GOD FORBID.I CAN BE IN AN OCEAN AND WASH MY HEAD WITH MY SPIT. THANKS AND GOD BLESS.
MARK DOUGLAS.

United Kingdom France 2 x Netherlands
Cellphone
Safari See SP's Irish Safari!
Mortar x14
Golden Pith



Click here to support 419Eater.com
View user's profileSend private message
SamV
Baiting Guru


Joined: 10 Oct 2003
Posts: 2968
Location: U. S. of frickin' A., Baby!


PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2007 8:46 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

A bear walks into a bar and says "I'll have... a beer." The bartender says "why the pause?" The bear says "I was born with them."

_________________
WHY DID YOU GIVE ME ANOTHER PERSONS TELEPHONE NUMBER TO CALL YOU. THE
MAN YOU GAVE HIS NUMBER IS A NIGERIAN WHY???

"No goat porn? Well how 'bout a petting zoo?" Crashhoot, Vegas 2006
View user's profileSend private message
Les Noise
Elite Baiter


Joined: 06 Mar 2006
Posts: 1098
Location: Behind the fridge


PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2007 8:47 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

A toothless termite walks into a bar and asks."Where is the bar tender?"

_________________
..................................................................
FUCK YOU AND UR PAYMENT I GUSS YOU ARE A BIG FOOL
GO FUCK UR MAMA PUSSY SHIT
..................................................................
I believe when you received your payout you will compensate me.... .. Sure Will..

Jolly Roger

pony pony pony Mortar x11
View user's profileSend private message
PRS Girly Girl
Will Post for Food


Joined: 06 Mar 2007
Posts: 1174
Location: Any place where cute shoes are on sale.


PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2007 8:54 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

A man walked into a bar holding an alligator. He asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?" The bartender said, "Yes, we do!" "Good," replied the man. "Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for my alligator."

A dyslexic guy walks into a bra.....

_________________
"A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are." Chauncey Mitchell Depew

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." Robert A. Heinlein

Mortar x3
Pith Helmet Banjul, The Gambia to Dakar, Senegal and back. 0usman C4mar4
View user's profileSend private messageSkype Name
kleindoofy
*** BANNED ***


Joined: 24 Oct 2004
Posts: 6248
Location: Europe


PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2007 9:13 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

This thread needs sooooooo to be locked. Cool
View user's profileSend private message
Inspector Gadget
Angel of unrealistic meetings


Joined: 20 Feb 2007
Posts: 6195
Location: Trumpton


PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2007 9:38 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Man goes in a bar.....
There was a time when is was just peanuts and crisps.

_________________
Easter 2015 x2 Pith Helmet Co bait with Rumbero Sao Tome island to Gabon van donation
Pith Helmet Co bait with Jayhawk and VJD. Stanley's bottle tour Aba to Lagos
Pith Helmet Pith Helmet Team Hector, airport in installments and St Louis to Kayes
Pith Helmet Halil, Cotonou to Accra
Pith Helmet + Sand Timer Precious 10/08/11
Cellphone x8 Nigeria Spain Mortar x34 Closed lad accounts x 73 Goat
grown up man like him, still doing all this shit games - Stanley, (he doesn't like Parcel Direct)
You again do the strange reflections stuffed with drugs? - Natalia
Sand Timer x3 Hector 24/1/13 Sand Timer Moses 15th Oct 2011
Pretty Rose Sand Timer x 2Mick Ole 11th Sept 2014-16 Sand Timer Asare Akuffo start 4th Aug 2014
View user's profileSend private messageSkype Name
fistymus
419Eater is my life


Joined: 10 May 2007
Posts: 254
Location: Under my hat, wearing my moustache


PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2007 10:33 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Two men walk hurridly into a bar, one asks for 6 pints of bitter and 3 packets of peanuts, he then hands over a 50 pound note and says "Keep the change, you've got about 3 minutes to enjoy it". A large space ship loomed exactly the way a large gold brick wouldn't...

erm sorry went off track as per usual.

_________________
"My doctor told me this morning again that i might not be able to survive..Please Father Barry, i need you prayer's..I don't want to die so soon.Please pray for me." - M3lissa W3alth
"Sorry, Ive just realised I selected new topic and not post reply ...... I meant to post this in the mentors thread Embarassed" - bang2rites

Ivory Coast x1
View user's profileSend private message
ol-fishinbait
Master Baiter


Joined: 10 Aug 2006
Posts: 190
Location: Not where the 419-ers think I am ;-D


PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2007 10:41 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

David Hasslehoff walks into a bar:
"Gimmie a beer, please"
"Sure thing, Hasslehoff!"
"Just call me Hoff"
"Ok, no hassle."

_________________
I don't fall for 419s. 419s fall for me.
"YOU ARE THE BIGGEST FOOL I HAVE EVER MET IN MY ENTIRE LIFE PLEASE DO NOT WRITE ME AGAIN." "Me." - C0||inz [email protected] and "H3c+0r Br0ck|ebank", respectively
"THE MTCN NUMBER IS ALWAYS TEN DIGIT SO WHY THE ALPHABETS."- [email protected] 0k0duwa
Cellphone Cellphone Cellphone
View user's profileSend private message
it wasn't me
Elite Baiter


Joined: 18 Feb 2007
Posts: 1043
Location: sitting in the corner drinking wine, eating cheese


PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2007 10:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

_________________
Do not be sceptical be pessimistic - Lotto scam.
I just don't know how to express the gravy of my happiness. - Barrister M Abd0lla
you nose i have been away in the middly east. -Ali Al1

Pretty Rose

pony
View user's profileSend private message
fistymus
419Eater is my life


Joined: 10 May 2007
Posts: 254
Location: Under my hat, wearing my moustache


PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2007 10:44 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

it wasn't me wrote:
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."


The barman turns round and says, I'm not serving you, you've come in with a cyclepath!

_________________
"My doctor told me this morning again that i might not be able to survive..Please Father Barry, i need you prayer's..I don't want to die so soon.Please pray for me." - M3lissa W3alth
"Sorry, Ive just realised I selected new topic and not post reply ...... I meant to post this in the mentors thread Embarassed" - bang2rites

Ivory Coast x1
View user's profileSend private message
Nanny Ogg
"Bruce"


Joined: 19 Mar 2007
Posts: 2624


PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2007 10:50 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

A man walks into a bar and asks for a pint.
"Would you like a malt whisky" says the barman? "It's free."
"Yes please" says the man
He gets given the pint, double malt and 20 from the till.

Same happens next round

Hmm thinks the man , better say something.

" the boss around?" he asks the barman

"no" is the reply
" he's up the road doing to my wife what I'm doing to his business"
View user's profileSend private message
Tommo Shanter
Swiss Toni


Joined: 13 Jan 2006
Posts: 5379
Location: Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad. - Euripides


PostPosted: Sat May 19, 2007 5:38 am Reply with quoteBack to top

A visually impaired man walks into a bar. Not surprising really, he'd left his guide dog at home.

_________________
£1,052,334.30 (=US$2,121,125.60) lads fake cheques out of circulation (at 11/6/2008)
Closed lad accounts x135 (at 26/9/2008) Easter Egg 2013 Cellphone x138
"i see your not interested in the transaction but catching your fun, calling names and my muckery of me." - Usman Bello
"You need to visit a good psychiatrist very fast, because some nuts are missing from your brain." - PROF.SOLUDO
"...it is very important you forward the your cycling proficiency certificate which by right belongs to you." - Prof Charles Soludo.
"note i can still change my mind to blow you off and whenever" - T0ny 'The Killerman' Erik
YOUR GENERATION WILL ROAST IN ABSTRACT POVERTY,BASTARD IDIOT -Daniel Mensah

pony pony pony Pretty Rose Pretty Rose Pretty Rose Goat
View user's profileSend private message
it wasn't me
Elite Baiter


Joined: 18 Feb 2007
Posts: 1043
Location: sitting in the corner drinking wine, eating cheese


PostPosted: Sat May 19, 2007 6:07 am Reply with quoteBack to top

A mushroom walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "I
can't serve you." The mushroom says, "Why not? I'm a fun-guy."

_________________
Do not be sceptical be pessimistic - Lotto scam.
I just don't know how to express the gravy of my happiness. - Barrister M Abd0lla
you nose i have been away in the middly east. -Ali Al1

Pretty Rose

pony
View user's profileSend private message
Seven of Nine
Baiting Guru


Joined: 18 Jun 2006
Posts: 2147
Location: Somewhere in time.


PostPosted: Sat May 19, 2007 7:37 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Two lengths of string are standing in a queue to enter a nightclub. After waiting a while, they reach the door. One is allowed in whilst the other is refused entry. The first protests to the doorman, and points at his friend's clothes. 'He's better dressed than I, surely he should be allowed in, rather than me', said the first to the bouncer.

The doorman replies, '`fraid not'.

_________________
pony Mortar x7 Closed lad accounts x27 United Nations Ivory Coast Benin x2 United Kingdom x2 Ivory Coast
100% risky free donation modality
View user's profileSend private message
it wasn't me
Elite Baiter


Joined: 18 Feb 2007
Posts: 1043
Location: sitting in the corner drinking wine, eating cheese


PostPosted: Sat May 19, 2007 8:45 am Reply with quoteBack to top

A mugu walks into a bar .....

(I dunno, I'm blonde. You do the punchline!)

_________________
Do not be sceptical be pessimistic - Lotto scam.
I just don't know how to express the gravy of my happiness. - Barrister M Abd0lla
you nose i have been away in the middly east. -Ali Al1

Pretty Rose

pony
View user's profileSend private message
Gantz
419Eater is my life


Joined: 26 Apr 2007
Posts: 299
Location: Sitting on the most uncomfortable chair it has ever been my misfortune to own. It numbs my bum :(


PostPosted: Sat May 19, 2007 9:15 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I was going to post the only "Man walks into a bar" joke I know but it's too damn long and I'm too damn lazy.

_________________
Darling i really don'y like spaeking about sex orally because it is against my religion,i prefer we praticalized it - The lovely [email protected]
View user's profileSend private message
llamedos
Been There, Done That


Joined: 04 Jun 2004
Posts: 2690
Location: ^^^ Wherever the other side has gone to


PostPosted: Sat May 19, 2007 11:37 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I've only just found this thread! Embarassed Embarassed
Yes, yes, very poor, I know but look, I've been in the mod lounge clearing up after the party, OK?
...and let me tell you something,... these mods are absolute animals when they get to unlock the Pimms cupboard....

A$$ kissers: your wonderfully delightful comments about me are duly noted and you are now earmarked for future lenience Wink

The rest did I mention callum? I may yet have my revenge Very Happy Very Happy

_________________
Mortar x13 Closed lad accounts x 15 Easter Egg TV Star
Safari Accra - Lome (16/7/05 midnight - 5am) Safari Accra - Lome - Benin Jul '11

Barrister Addo Williams: I want you to know that I am not impressed with your performance towards this project.
Mattins Wilson: ...and they stated morken me and tarfing at me as if am a full, so please it is enough OK. /AND/ I promise you for all this furffring that you are furffring to me <--- No, I haven't a clue either
Peter Ovdo: I want you to have trust in me that all is ok as stated in my last mail to you which i wrote in big letters

Ethel Gnassingbe: FOUK YOU AND GO TO HELL

"I am a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up"
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mailYahoo Messenger
Dark Spirit
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 18 Mar 2007
Posts: 660
Location: In the Darkness


PostPosted: Sat May 19, 2007 12:31 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I walk into a bar !!!!!!!!! and just get pissed Twisted Evil

_________________
DARKNESS IS A PLACE WHERE ONLY FEAR LIVES. Oh and me too Smile

God himself wii judge you for trying to delay and make someones life a waste, Mother felicia, April 30th 2007
Thanks very much for fooling me ok and i dont have any other thing to say, Helimina Bright, May 1st 2007
Pleasantly, that we have understanding and continue intercourse, Elena USSR vlad, May 1st 2007
"read the stickies and the faqs." Newbie forum
pony
View user's profileSend private message
battery
Mascot Goat Trainer


Joined: 31 May 2005
Posts: 911
Location: a wonderful yet shit place to live


PostPosted: Sat May 19, 2007 2:33 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

A Bar Joke

If you travel north up the A60 over Hendnesford Road, pass through the old town of Rugeley and up a little track named Cotton Rd, you will arrive via a series of twists and turns at a little well kept pub named the Wicket, just on the edge of Admaston. This pub, it could be said is a buttress of true British publyness, retaining it's jovial medieval atmosphere, from it's plum copper bar top to it's merry little open fire. Come rain or shine, it has thrown an open door to travelers and locals alike in it's duty to the thirsty and the faithful, making their way through the heart of the British Midlands.

One night when my car broke down nearby this little country retreat, I felt it prudent to make a dash for the nearest drinking establishment, which happened to be the Wicket. It was a Thursday evening on a dastardly winter's night and lashings of freezing cold sleet poured over the rain sloshed and wind swept heath. The glow from the windows of the pub beckoned to me like the friendly hand of a old sage reaching down to pull one out of the quagmire into which one had sunk.

I entered the pub and as I suspected, there were none but a few of the more seasoned drinkers, who had dared to venture out into storm. I sat down at the bar and began reading a copy of the Cannock and Rugeley Chronicle with a large mug of beer and half a cigar I had found in my glove compartment next to an empty hip flask. I had completed no more than five of the relatively bovine clues of the dreadful crossword puzzle in the broad sheet, when an almighty rumble signaled the entrance of a large and disgruntled customer.

"psst", whispered the barman, "that's the fucking M6 right there!"
"you what", I replied turning my head. And sure enough, spilling tarmac, traffic cones and tumbling automobiles all over the floor was the bulging, straggling form of the huge and dirty bypass up to Birmingham. The massive lumbering motorway ignoring me sat down at the bar two stools across from me, covering the bar with bits of sod and bolts and things.

"The usual sir?", bellowed the barman, handing the M6 a bottle of Famous Grouse amid the din of smashing masonry. The M6 didn't reply, but snatched the bottle and huddled around it muttering to himself.

I was stunned, but not as stunned as when two clues later a second devastating cacophony shattered the atmosphere and in walked another motorway.

"That'll be the M25", said the barman, who appeared to be resigned to this sort of thing. Without bothering to ask, the barman fetched a bottle of Jim Beam and set it in front of the M25, who parked down next to the M6 in a similar fashion, showering everything with bits of broken traffic and old tires.

Not wanting to disturb either of them I retreated to a corner and continued to pour over the elementary subject matter of the Chronicle crossword puzzle and sipped my drink. Five minutes later I noticed that a scene had begun to arise and I watched with some interest.

A long, but very thin slither of red tarmac had also entered the bar, sidled in between the M25 and M6 and was apparently trying to cadge a cigarette from one of them.

"Come on y'twat crash us a fucking snout mate", hissed the new customer gesticulating at both of them.

The fuming M25 was beginning to stand up and look down on the red tarmac, just as the barman ran round to the front of the bar to address the scene.

"Listen", he said, "We'll have no trouble, not tonight. It's a shit one outside; let's just sit back down and I'll buy you both a drink. Just forget about it okay", he said, proffering a stool back to the M25.

"I kick him fucking head in", bellowed the M25, who had idly cracked open the bottle of Jim Bean on the side of the copper bar and was brandishing it at the tarmac, "little bloody chav wanker".

"No seriously", advised the barman, "you don't want to do that. Just give it a rest ok, I'll get you another bottle and we can just have a nice quiet drink". He patted the M25, on the hard shoulder, gesturing at the stool.

"You what?", the M25 inquired incredulously, "Do you know who I fucking am mate? I'm the M25, the biggest, hardest, dirtiest motorway in the South. I have toll gates longer than that bit of crap down there and I'll be a steaming pile of fresh loam if I ain't going to shove this bit of glass so far down his throat, he'll be blowing test tubes every time he farts."

"Naah Naah mate, I know who you are", said the barman, "You're the M25, I know. I'm telling you; you don't want to mess with that one It's not worth it, trust me. Come on mate, let's just have a quiet one okay?"

"Well why the bloody hell not?" asked the slightly deflated M25.

"Because", said the barman, leaning in closer and whispering,"that bit of tar down there....."

....."Is a cyclepath"

By Battery - It's not one of mine, but I tell it better

_________________
Safari Mortar x14 Goat

DONATE
---


I don't deserve a pony Sad

of course you deserve a pony-lotta Very Happy
pony pony pony
View user's profileSend private message
Display posts from previous:      
Post new topicReply to topic


 Jump to:   



View next topic
View previous topic
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum



** Find out information about your IP address **


All Content © 2003 - 419Eater.com
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group :S5: FI Theme :: All times are GMT