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 (Americans only)10 ways to tell you spend too much time here

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Ghost
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Joined: 26 Jun 2004
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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 7:44 am Reply with quoteBack to top

As the title suggests this is for colonials only. Ten ways to tell you spend far too much time on this site and no I am not drunk. Okay maybe a little bit. Also note: this is my first attempt at being funny. So throw me a bone for pities sake.


1.You call you mom, “mum”.

2.You tell you friends to “go bugger off” and they don’t know whether or not to be offended.

3.You tell your family you are sitting on your arse and they ask if that is a regular chair or a recliner.

4.When someone asks where you live you reply “on the other side of the pond”

5.You no longer refer to yourself as an American but a colonial.

6.You tell you wife she is cheeky and she thinks you are calling her fat.

7.You accuse someone of being dodgy and they exclaim that they did not jump out of the way of any ball thrown at them.

8.You are unaware if you are using these British terms (or if they are even British terms) correctly but they sound cool to you.

9.When someone is overbearing or too strict you call them a jackboot.

10.You get startled when someone says the word “Don”.
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lotta
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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 7:46 am Reply with quoteBack to top

clapping

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Dec 11, 2007

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SlayerFaith
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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 7:53 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Laughing Laughing Laughing
I'll add: You lose the ability to spell words like "check", "color", and "realize" correctly, and you make references to standing in a queue. I won't even get into what happens when you call co-workers either "bloody numpty" or "cheeky git" Wink

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ANIMAL,MY FRIEND MY PRAYER IS THIS,LET ALL MY ENEMIES BE IN TROUBLE LIKE CHRIST INGIGE,AND LAZY PEOPLE LIKE YOU BE LIKE WABARA.THANK YOU- Kelechukwu Nduka
"Did he say they have an inflatable pig? That's sick!"- Crash, Vegas 06
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Last edited by SlayerFaith on Sat May 12, 2007 7:55 am; edited 1 time in total
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lotta
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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 7:54 am Reply with quoteBack to top

and buying petrol instead of gas Wink

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Alan James Watson (AKA Bi Gal, AKA Big Al, AKA De Master Yoda) -2007, 2008, 2009, 2010 "Doos of the year" award winner

Frederick Fokker:
"I am giving you about a month to get your act together, i am cutting you and the eater a bit of slack"
Dec 11, 2007

Elton Purple Flower Black Ribbon Flying Monkey
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SlayerFaith
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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 7:56 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Or ask your average 7-11 clerk where they keep the nappies Laughing

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ANIMAL,MY FRIEND MY PRAYER IS THIS,LET ALL MY ENEMIES BE IN TROUBLE LIKE CHRIST INGIGE,AND LAZY PEOPLE LIKE YOU BE LIKE WABARA.THANK YOU- Kelechukwu Nduka
"Did he say they have an inflatable pig? That's sick!"- Crash, Vegas 06
"You can be a right Bitch sometimes SF"- Cherrie, GenChat 07

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Ghost
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Joined: 26 Jun 2004
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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 7:59 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I guess that means I have to spend even more time here. I’m still a silly American, I mean colonial.




I thought nappies were napkins not diapers. I have so much to learn.
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SlayerFaith
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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 8:06 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^^
When you start thinking of "football" as something played with a round ball and no padding, you're halfway there Wink

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ANIMAL,MY FRIEND MY PRAYER IS THIS,LET ALL MY ENEMIES BE IN TROUBLE LIKE CHRIST INGIGE,AND LAZY PEOPLE LIKE YOU BE LIKE WABARA.THANK YOU- Kelechukwu Nduka
"Did he say they have an inflatable pig? That's sick!"- Crash, Vegas 06
"You can be a right Bitch sometimes SF"- Cherrie, GenChat 07

Naked Mod pics!
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lotta
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Joined: 08 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 8:13 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Ghost wrote:
I thought nappies were napkins not diapers. I have so much to learn.



Serviettes are napkins

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star star
Mortar Nurse Nastys Audi TT Mc Fry

Alan James Watson (AKA Bi Gal, AKA Big Al, AKA De Master Yoda) -2007, 2008, 2009, 2010 "Doos of the year" award winner

Frederick Fokker:
"I am giving you about a month to get your act together, i am cutting you and the eater a bit of slack"
Dec 11, 2007

Elton Purple Flower Black Ribbon Flying Monkey
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SlayerFaith
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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 8:17 am Reply with quoteBack to top

lotta wrote:
Serviettes

@Lotta, please don't try to teach Americans that word. It will come out like sworv-eye-yettis or something Laughing

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ANIMAL,MY FRIEND MY PRAYER IS THIS,LET ALL MY ENEMIES BE IN TROUBLE LIKE CHRIST INGIGE,AND LAZY PEOPLE LIKE YOU BE LIKE WABARA.THANK YOU- Kelechukwu Nduka
"Did he say they have an inflatable pig? That's sick!"- Crash, Vegas 06
"You can be a right Bitch sometimes SF"- Cherrie, GenChat 07

Naked Mod pics!
star
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Ghost
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Joined: 26 Jun 2004
Posts: 5750
Location: In the cellar rattling chains


PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 8:21 am Reply with quoteBack to top

A serviette sounds like something I would smoke. I do know cigarettes are called fags though.

11. You ask you best friend if he has a fag and he pulls the gimp out of a box that was hidden in the closet.
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Miss Behaving
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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 8:23 am Reply with quoteBack to top

lotta wrote:

Serviettes are napkins


I see.

Do you use a toilet or lavatory? Do you eat luncheon or dinner? Would you ever use the word 'meal'? Most importantly, ave you ever chewed gum at a passing out parade? Wink

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-U

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Don
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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 8:27 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Ghost wrote:
10.You get startled when someone says the word “Don”.


And bloody right so! Laughing

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Ghost
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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 8:34 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Yes, Don, you have me I check. What is your bidding my master?
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SlayerFaith
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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 8:37 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^
Umm. You did mention that you're a bit drunk, right? Laughing

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ANIMAL,MY FRIEND MY PRAYER IS THIS,LET ALL MY ENEMIES BE IN TROUBLE LIKE CHRIST INGIGE,AND LAZY PEOPLE LIKE YOU BE LIKE WABARA.THANK YOU- Kelechukwu Nduka
"Did he say they have an inflatable pig? That's sick!"- Crash, Vegas 06
"You can be a right Bitch sometimes SF"- Cherrie, GenChat 07

Naked Mod pics!
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Ghost
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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 8:42 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Just a little. Not drunk but HBD (had been drinking) but not drunk
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SlayerFaith
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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 8:46 am Reply with quoteBack to top

The judges will accept that as a "yes" Laughing

Back on topic....

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ANIMAL,MY FRIEND MY PRAYER IS THIS,LET ALL MY ENEMIES BE IN TROUBLE LIKE CHRIST INGIGE,AND LAZY PEOPLE LIKE YOU BE LIKE WABARA.THANK YOU- Kelechukwu Nduka
"Did he say they have an inflatable pig? That's sick!"- Crash, Vegas 06
"You can be a right Bitch sometimes SF"- Cherrie, GenChat 07

Naked Mod pics!
star
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Chief2B
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Joined: 11 Apr 2005
Posts: 365


PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 8:48 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Ghost wrote:

and no I am not drunk. Okay maybe a little bit.


Sorry partner, you know better than just about anyone that two cases is more than "a little bit".

Just admit it, you're plastered! Wink
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Ghost
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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 8:55 am Reply with quoteBack to top

C2B, honestly, I only had a couple of beers. I bet you never heard that one before.
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AlexS
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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 9:08 am Reply with quoteBack to top

SlayerFaith wrote:
Laughing Laughing Laughing
I'll add: You lose the ability to spell words like "check", "color", and "realize" correctly,


I'm sure you mean you gain the ability to spell words like "cheque", "colour" and "realise" correctly.
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Seven of Nine
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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 9:09 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ Given Chief2B's vocation, he probably has on numerous occasions Wink

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Ghost
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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 9:15 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Yeah, me too.


Back in the day, I arrested over 5000 drunks. Drunk in public or DUI. I just gave myself FST’s and I failed, so it’s of to bed.


Last edited by Ghost on Sat May 12, 2007 9:26 am; edited 1 time in total
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SlayerFaith
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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 9:20 am Reply with quoteBack to top

AlexS wrote:
I'm sure you mean you gain the ability to spell words like "cheque", "colour" and "realise" correctly.

Back in your cage, Alex! This thread is for yanks Wink Laughing

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ANIMAL,MY FRIEND MY PRAYER IS THIS,LET ALL MY ENEMIES BE IN TROUBLE LIKE CHRIST INGIGE,AND LAZY PEOPLE LIKE YOU BE LIKE WABARA.THANK YOU- Kelechukwu Nduka
"Did he say they have an inflatable pig? That's sick!"- Crash, Vegas 06
"You can be a right Bitch sometimes SF"- Cherrie, GenChat 07

Naked Mod pics!
star
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AlexS
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Joined: 01 May 2007
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Location: I got lost a few turns back.


PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 9:31 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^Someone has to represent the Brits and the English language.^^^
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Chief2B
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Joined: 11 Apr 2005
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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 10:07 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Ghost,

I can understand you administering FST on yourself and failing but PLEASE don't tell me that you tried HGN on yourself!!!
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kleindoofy
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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 11:33 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Brits tend not to understand how Americans can be totally pissed without having a drop to drink. Wink
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