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 Darn...my mugu found a dictionary!

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Cachuma
Baiting Guru


Joined: 04 May 2007
Posts: 2284
Location: Blowing bubbles at 130 fsw


PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2007 9:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I thought things were going rather well in my bait. I was thisclose to getting a nice trophy. He'd originally proclaimed that he was a devout Catholic -- a Deacon, in fact! Until I told him I could never do business with someone outside my own faith...and it took him all of 3.7 miliseconds to renounce his life-long devotion to Catholicism and join my bizarre church. Here's how it was progressing:

From him:
Quote:
It gladens my heart when i am being offered such an opportunity like this,because it gives me the chance to make creative impacts in the ministry of God.

I am absolutely ready to learn about your ministry in as far as it wont restrict me from my daily transactions.Please i will like to point out that am not obliging to learn about your faith because i want you to be my payment representative,i am accepting solely because this opportunity act as a chance for me to work for God entirely outside the catholic faith.


From me:
Quote:
My Dear Mr. Radford,

I sincerely appreciate your email. I apologize for taking so long to get back to you. My church keeps me so busy, witnessing to the faithless.

I am pleased to have gladdened your heart, and I hope to turn your heart into a festering cesspool of faith for our church. I believe we can do this together!

In the meantime, lets talk about how to get you started in our faith! I have spoken to my pastor, and he is very excited about having a new cretin to witness for our church in your area. The idea of spreading our word into another country is so exciting to him that he practically had an erection of faith.

I should tell you that we have a fund set aside just for new ministries, and we are happy to send money to our new faithful cretins, to help you in your efforts to start a new parish in your area. What I'm thinking now is, once I start the transactions with you, I can put the money that I make from that into this fund, so we'll be able to help more and more people worldwide!

Our usual first endowment is for the amount of $2,000.00. This seems to be enough to help a new cretin get started. Once I've sent you the money, we can go over all of the things that you will need to do to start your ministry.

Before I can do that, my pastor has asked me to obtain a photograph of you for our records. We need to know who you are, and we need proof that you truly want to join us in sending our message. All we need is one photograph of you holding a sign that says "I Am Cretin". That says that you want to become a cretin in our church.

I can't wait to start this new adventure! I promise you, Nicholas (may I call you that?) you will find everlasting faith and joy and a veritable cesspool of satisfaction in Almighty God through our church. I'll await your picture!

Sincerely in God's everlasting pool,

M1ldr3d


From him:
Quote:
Your mail was recieved with ultmost joy,i will like to thank you again for rendering me this opportunity to work for God.Moreaslo your details was well comprehended and it will be fowarded to our customer immediately so we can commerse transactons.
I shall foward my photograph to you as soon as possible.You noted that i should hold sigh stating "I AM cretin",This will be fowarded you asap.
I must confess that i am higly obliged to be a cretin,it is a rare privilegde.
Send my regards to your pastor.

Stay blessed.


Then this morning I got this:
Quote:
Dear

What exactly does a cretin do.A cretin literally means a stupid person.
Thanks for the waste of time.


Now how did he manage to find a dictionary in Nigeria? Laughing Laughing Laughing

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Alex Mandl4: The past week has been the worst in my entire life, I have lost weight, I don't sleep at night, I left my job abruptly, and do you think it has been easy for?
Master Nicholas [email protected]: I must confess that i am higly obliged to be a cretin, it is a rare privilegde.
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Quantos
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Joined: 15 Apr 2007
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PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2007 9:57 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

aw, so close. Too bad Laughing
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Slightlyoutofit
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Joined: 13 Feb 2007
Posts: 14310
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PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2007 10:08 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
I must confess that i am higly obliged to be a cretin,it is a rare privilegde.


That's a classic.

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Cachuma
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Joined: 04 May 2007
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PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2007 10:12 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Yeah, I like that one...I'm putting it in my signature! LOL!

_________________
Alex Mandl4: The past week has been the worst in my entire life, I have lost weight, I don't sleep at night, I left my job abruptly, and do you think it has been easy for?
Master Nicholas [email protected]: I must confess that i am higly obliged to be a cretin, it is a rare privilegde.
pony pony Safari = Mr. Mandl4 & Mr. Brown, 1480 total miles: Johannesburg to Gaborone; Gaborone to Maun; Back to Gaborone; back to Johannesburg.
Closed lad accounts x15 Malaysia X1 United Kingdom X1

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GeneralAbacha
419Eater is my life


Joined: 11 Mar 2006
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PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2007 10:13 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

No, no, he must have misunderstood you. A cretin is a native of Crete, from whence many of the early members of your church hailed. It is an honourific title. Slap him for his misunderstanding and lack of faith.

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PsycheDelia_Smith
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Joined: 30 Oct 2004
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PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2007 10:44 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^Absolutely. How dare he refer to the brotherhood as stupid persons.

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GomerPyle
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PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2007 10:53 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

From Wikipedia

Quote:
The most common derivation provided in English dictionaries is from the Alpine French dialect pronunciation of the word Chretien - (a) Christian, which functioned as a form of greeting in those parts


Of course I am omitting the rest - but if he refuses your request you can say he is effectively renouncing Christianity.

Only a Satanist or non-believer would behave the way he is. Evil or Very Mad

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SlayerFaith
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PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2007 11:21 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

GeneralAbacha wrote:
A cretin is a native of Crete, from whence many of the early members of your church hailed.

clapping clapping
Very nice, General! Laughing

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rumbero
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PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2007 1:59 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Your mugu need to be slapped big time. Laughing how dare he quetion the word cretin,

Quote:
The idea of spreading our word into another country is so exciting to him that he practically had an erection of faith.
Laughing Laughing

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B. A. Ware
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PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2007 2:53 am Reply with quoteBack to top

@ General AND Gomer,

VERY NICE. I was having trouble thinking of what Cachuma should do there and I didn't even come close to going in that direction. Kudos

bow_down GeneralAbacha bow_down GomerPyle
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Cachuma
Baiting Guru


Joined: 04 May 2007
Posts: 2284
Location: Blowing bubbles at 130 fsw


PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2007 3:17 am Reply with quoteBack to top

You guys are geniuses. I'll give it a try and see how it goes. Stay tuned!

_________________
Alex Mandl4: The past week has been the worst in my entire life, I have lost weight, I don't sleep at night, I left my job abruptly, and do you think it has been easy for?
Master Nicholas [email protected]: I must confess that i am higly obliged to be a cretin, it is a rare privilegde.
pony pony Safari = Mr. Mandl4 & Mr. Brown, 1480 total miles: Johannesburg to Gaborone; Gaborone to Maun; Back to Gaborone; back to Johannesburg.
Closed lad accounts x15 Malaysia X1 United Kingdom X1

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KeyserSoze
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Joined: 06 Dec 2005
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PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2007 4:34 am Reply with quoteBack to top

That is some hilarious stuff.

You could definately recover from that one though. Let us know what happens.

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icepeople
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Joined: 01 Mar 2007
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PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2007 4:56 am Reply with quoteBack to top

That's right. You definately have an interesting prospect in front of you. don't give up now. try to win him back. I think you will have lots of fun with this guy. Get yourself a trophy. We want to see it.
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morbiczer
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Joined: 14 Jan 2006
Posts: 49
Location: Budapest


PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2007 6:39 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Cachuma wrote:
Now how did he manage to find a dictionary in Nigeria? Laughing Laughing Laughing


A simple Google search is probably more likely.

And why wouldn't there be dictionaries in Nigeria?
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Cachuma
Baiting Guru


Joined: 04 May 2007
Posts: 2284
Location: Blowing bubbles at 130 fsw


PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2007 7:24 am Reply with quoteBack to top

"Tongue-in-cheek: a term that refers to a style of humor in which things are said only half seriously, or in a subtly mocking way."

You're right! I found a dictionary ONLINE! Who'da thought! Laughing Laughing Laughing

_________________
Alex Mandl4: The past week has been the worst in my entire life, I have lost weight, I don't sleep at night, I left my job abruptly, and do you think it has been easy for?
Master Nicholas [email protected]: I must confess that i am higly obliged to be a cretin, it is a rare privilegde.
pony pony Safari = Mr. Mandl4 & Mr. Brown, 1480 total miles: Johannesburg to Gaborone; Gaborone to Maun; Back to Gaborone; back to Johannesburg.
Closed lad accounts x15 Malaysia X1 United Kingdom X1

Hello Kitty! <---TS certified.
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GomerPyle
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PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2007 8:02 am Reply with quoteBack to top

That's the fun part - bringing him into your world of abstract reality. If you persuade him that up is down, you are in charge, and he is less likely to challenge you again as long, as you don't push it too far.

Now you have a seed of an idea, and whichever explanation you choose for using the word, you can exploit it, if he accepts it.

You certainly appear to have taken to baiting 'like a duck to water', if you don't mind me saying. It often takes people a while to get into the flow, especially the more wacky style. You never stop learning though as I haven't.

Just be sure to keep having fun, as you do your worthwhile work.

_________________
Fake sites killed 1 x Australia 9 x United Kingdom 3 x 168 X Closed lad accounts Easter Egg 2011
Pith Helmet - the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
Pith Helmet - Steve - Lagos to Accra
Pith Helmet - Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
Pith Helmet - Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning
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luckey
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PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2007 1:22 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

He must not take that personally.

All men are cretins in the eyes of God until they have gone through the initiation rituals and cleansing ceremony of your ministry. Only then can they become a mooncalf.
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Jimmy Jazz
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PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2007 9:53 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Simple. A CRETIN is a very special member of your church. It is an acronym for Churchgoer Reflecting Eternal Truth In Nirvana.

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ParaNoid
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PostPosted: Tue May 15, 2007 2:22 am Reply with quoteBack to top

@ luckey's comment, I was thinking similarly. A cretin would be the first step on his *new* spiritual journey! Shocked You could then pass him up to newer and higher levels in the church. Twisted Evil Laughing

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