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 Fending off cold callers

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Dionysius
Elite Baiter


Joined: 24 Mar 2004
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PostPosted: Wed May 02, 2007 6:58 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Talking of work, I once got a call from an estate agent to my office phone. I read them the riot act, the people around me were laughing their bottoms off. Ahh, memories.

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Tommo Shanter
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Joined: 13 Jan 2006
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PostPosted: Wed May 02, 2007 7:51 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I registered with the TPS. My cold calls eventually stopped. When I do get one I mention the dreaded initials and they apologise and ring off. I once told one to "F*ck off" because he was particularly irritating. His measured reply "And the same to you sir". Then he hung up. Bastard. Laughing

I also have a no-callers sticker on my front door but that doesn't seem to stop the buggers.

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babe_in_muguland
419Eater is my life


Joined: 12 Dec 2003
Posts: 482


PostPosted: Wed May 02, 2007 8:13 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

For many years, I've been trying to develop an electro-magnetic pulse generator that would transmit a phone crippling EMF pulse down the phone line. Unfortunately, I've been told by experts who know that it can't be done.

Maybe the sound of one of those sports air horns blared directly into the microphone would be enough to blast off the telemarketer's headset. Then apologize to the TM, saying you're having trouble with your phone, and blast it a few more times.

EDIT to add: This sounds promising, wonder if I can get a recording of and then amplify into the phone... Smile
Quote:
Low-frequency sound waves can have some rather nasty physical effects on people, including disorientation, bowel spasms, and loss of balance. Los Alamos National Laboratory in Los Alamos, New Mexico, and Scientific Applications and Research Associates in Huntington Beach, California, are working on generators that emit high-power, low-frequency acoustic beams; the beams can travel over long distances and overpower ambient noise. The debilitating effects of the beams cease as soon as the generators are turned off.

Among the problems facing researchers investigating this technology is how to target and focus the waves so that they don't incapacitate everyone in the vicinity.
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Gnasher
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Joined: 29 May 2006
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PostPosted: Wed May 02, 2007 9:38 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Without sounding like a telemarketer hugger, well not much, I do sometimes feel pangs of pity for these people who spend their day being abused on the phone. I know they choose to work there, blah blah, but it's still a pretty soul-destroying way to make a living. And I still want to know the success rate of these cold calls. They obviously work because they still do it. Who is saying 'ohhhhh yes please' to these callers?

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thud419
Baiting Guru


Joined: 04 Jan 2006
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PostPosted: Thu May 03, 2007 10:06 am Reply with quoteBack to top

@babe, sorry those frequencies would be filtered out by the phone system. It only allows through sounds between 300 and 3,000 Hz. Subsonics are below 20Hz.

I wonder if you could play a sound-track in the background. It has to be something that is obviously not on the TV, that wont have the telemarketer calling the police, but will make his hair stand on end.

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eamonn
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PostPosted: Thu May 03, 2007 10:58 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I am reliable informed that a referee's whistle is very painful to the person on the other end.

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jamarse
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Joined: 13 Jan 2006
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PostPosted: Thu May 03, 2007 11:10 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Tommo Shanter wrote:
I also have a no-callers sticker on my front door but that doesn't seem to stop the buggers.


Got one of those too. . . when ever they knock on the door, I point to it, and say "So you can't read then" They soon get into a huff and march away!

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Spudz
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Joined: 22 Nov 2006
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PostPosted: Thu May 03, 2007 11:29 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Cold callers.......gahhh i HATE them Evil or Very Mad ,

They always seem to call when i`m cooking, so i`ll grab my lovely Victorinox 16 incher and answer the door, they always accept "i`m too busy" when they see it (the 16 incher is a knife by the way) but by far the worst of the worst are the Mormons Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad they always travel in pairs, and when you try to shoo them away they ask normal innocent questions like where is such and such a place, then when you are answering that query they try a bit of the religious stuff, then another normal question, They had me at the door for a whole 45 seconds before, i was weak Laughing

And of course those poxy baaaaastard tele-sales, oooo thats a special breed of hate that is, wherever they are getting their numbers from they are WAY out of date. They always ask for my stepfather, who`s been dead for about 16 years, Which usually messes up their day when i tell them that,

Dimwit: " Hello is Mr.XXXX there ?
Spudz : " No i`m afraid he`s not here"
Dimwit: "Can you tell me when he`ll be back please?"
Spudz : "Well he`s been dead for about 16 years so you tell me"
Dimwit: "..........."
Spudz : "Now do me a favour and put a note on your computer or in that seriously outdated phone book your boss picked out of a skip NOT TO CALL THIS NUMBER AGAIN"
Dimwit: " yes of course i`m very...."
Spudz : Click

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ScamAngel
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 03 Apr 2007
Posts: 23


PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2007 10:25 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Damn !! i never thought about baiting a cold caller; after reading here I!m sorry I registered at TPS (telephone preference service for non-UK readers) Sad

What fun to be had Twisted Evil

Simple answers seem to be the most effective " he`s been dead for 16 years , you tell me " (God rest his soul )
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fistymus
419Eater is my life


Joined: 10 May 2007
Posts: 254
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PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2007 10:44 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

@Nanny Ogg: Hope you haven't called him "Our Neville"

All my numbers listed anywhere are my Flextel 08 ones so i get paid for them sitting through my switchboard of doom (The ones that persavere)

Door to Door just get a healthy shout of "Bugger Off!" through the still closed door without me even leaving the computer Laughing
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