Potter Derrek, now stranded in Ghana

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Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I can hardly wait to see Dan's meltdown. Six computers and an iphone? Sounds like the work of terrorists to me.

Interpol will allow F one phone call. I wonder who she will place it to?

Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2007 8:49 pm

Brother John, very worried because he has neither heard of F nor of Dan in the meantime, calls him, reaching his mom only, of course. I guess she has limited English knowledge, my own one not being the best so the only information F�s worried brother can provide is that :
1. Dan is in Lagos.
2. He did not call mom at home yet.
She does not seem to have a clue who I am or who F is. She did not even answer the phone properly...all these things sure could not ease Johns�s mind.

http://media.putfile.com/Call-Dan-2007Okt25-22h

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 17 Apr 2007 Posts: 3

Any updates on this? C'mon guys, I need my fix!
Laughing

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

Poor F can't wander around looking for him much longer. She has tried emailing him, sent him a brief off-line message in YIM, and tonight tried to call several times. The line was always busy.

The last communications with Dan were posted yesterday. Dan appears MIA.

Posted: Sat Oct 27, 2007 1:27 am

When my favourite boy was missing in action (twice) it turned out that he had just taken the first bus home. Maybe Dan has some relatives in lad city No.1?
You do not believe he has not travelled, do you?

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Poor F. Arrested as a girlfriend of a terrorist, stuck in some god-forsaken jail in an undisclosed city, and her boyfriend won't answer her emails.

I can't wait to see Dan's email to Interp0l. Twisted Evil

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

A series of emails from Dan. I have no idea who the sister is supposed to be. Dan has said he has four younger brothers, he has never mentioned a sister.

Jayhawk go ahead and arrest her. I cannot call him this weekend, maybe F's brother can call and say he heard F was arrested and Dan needs to go to the airport to help her. Any other ideas?

Quote:

I have been at the airport waiting for you on thursday i did'nt see you where are you sweetheart,you know what tell a taxi to take you to Navy town Apapa,you come and meet me there i am so worried just come here is the Address when you get there call me i'll come out side waiting for you.
Address,
Road six,house 79d Navy town,apapa,Lagos come there i am waiting for you just chatter a taxi ok i'll be expecting you,when you get there just call +23480580xxxxx or 080590xxxxx i'll be waiting please my love don't let me down just take a Taxi and give them the address they'll take you down here.
i am so brook now i'll be expecting none less than two to three hours time.just come now i can't wait

Quote:

copy it out address,
Edit Navy Lagos
just come now and when you get there call,you'll see me i thought you where lying,because i waited at the Airport through out the thursday to Friday i did not see you.
i can't wait you'll see my sister too.just come now from your darling,Dan

Quote:

I'll be going home now right away just come now

Quote:

the cell line i gave you is my sister's own,incase you call she will pick up the phone
tell her that you are dan's girl friend i'll be expecting you now,as fast as possible

A few hours later.

Quote:

If i don't see you in two to three hours time i won't like it,i would have come to the airport is just that i'm so i'll.
i love you sweetheart i'll be waiting.
please don't let me down

Quote:

where are you,have'nt you gotten to Navy Town?call if you are there i'm very very scared i miss you so much,it was not as planned.just call me to know where you are now,i'm very i'll

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

redshoes, I'll let you or F's brother tell Dan that F has been arrested by Interp0l. Interp0l considers Dan a terrorist, and we don't want to alert him that we are on to him. We've got his girlfriend, and under intense questioning we're convinced that she will tell us where he is.

Posted: Sat Oct 27, 2007 11:56 pm

Just called that bunch, used his sister�s number, being shortly after midnight there.
He says "ok, I will check in", not sure if it was the right person.

http://media.putfile.com/Dan--at-1-AM

Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 1:46 pm

Not much news to any of my characters from dan. He does need some impressionist art though, he has taste even if he is brook. I like the idea of him spending 2 days in Lagos airport waiting for F. Smile

Quote:

can you please sent me some monet so i can make my passport and fly over to resume business.

I wonder if he means Moet?, surely there's a duty free shop, but it is expensive.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

Dan has given up. He lost the woman but still begs for the gifts.

Quote:

Sweetheart,
i have tried my best but my best was not best enough,well i came to the Airport as of yesterday to pick you up but getting there at the interpol office i could'nt find you.

What i think sweetheart i think you better leave back to LA i have tried and even now i have no money again.

Just live back to LA,and if you can't take the items you brought to Nigeria back you send them through DHL to the address i gave you and i will share it for my brother just go back and rest.and i will give you my aunty's number she is an immigration officer so that you call her and she tell you what to do before i'll get my passport and come to LA.

sweetheart i am so sorry and i'm very ill,sweetheart just go back send the items to the address i gave you.

I'm so sorry.
From your Darling,Dan

Just go back to LA if you need my aunty's number here is it,when you get to LA you call her and pay the charges she will start processing my passport +234xxxxxxxx
this is her number
you can reach me through my sister's number i wrote in the provious mail bye and have a nice trip back to LA i love you.from him that cares,Dan

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Let's see if this one gets a response from him:

Quote:

Sir

This letter is to inform you that you have been classified by the Interp0l Office of Security as a class b-3 terrorist. This is due to the following actions on your part:

a) Failure to give proper name to an Interp0l Agent
b) Failure to complete security claim forms along with security photos
c) Under intense questioning, your girlfriend, F, admitted that she was your lover, yet has never actually met you.
d) Your girlfriend, F, was carrying contraband computers and telephones when she was picked up for questioning, along with a sizeable amount of cash.

Classification as a b-3 terrorist is a serious offense. As a b-3 terrorist you will have all passport applications denied, you are subject to revenue audits from your local taxing authorities, and you are ineligible for participation in any and all reality television shows. These are just some of the limits on your freedom. There are others, but we are sworn to secrecy not to disclose them.

We are currently holding one F in a top secret Interp0l holding facility, where she is undergoing heavy questioning concerning you and your plans. Once we are through questioning Ms. F we will more than likely classify her as a type b-3 terrorist as well, and deport her back to the United States where she will stand trial for treason.

If there is any information you could provide that would argue either your case or Ms. Fs case we are certainly open to hear it. Until then, please be aware that if you try to leave the country we are within our rights to shoot you.

Thank you for your continued support of Interp0l

Interp0l Agent Th0mas J0nes

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

This came this morning.

Quote:

Sweetheart,
I am so sorry to say that to you but i have to because i don't have any money all the money i have is finish please don't be angry with me i still love you,i am not sure i will be coming to cafe too much as before always call me through my sisters phone,and make sure you call my aunty,she will tell you what to do about my passport.sweetheart i am so sorry.
i love you from your dearing man Dan.
All yours

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Have faith. Our hero is a plucky little tyke. He's been down before, but he'll be himself again in no time. You just can't keep the stupid down for long. Laughing

He really does sound defeated, doesn't he? I didn't tell him ALL of what Interp0l took off of Miss F. Maybe I'll include that in my next email to him.

Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2007 7:52 am

He does not mention John, F�s worried brother, with even a single syllable. Maybe I called the wrong sister? - I don�t know, I hate him; I�d expect a little more "feedback". He is behaving like a crash test dummy.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

^^^ You don't know Dan as well as some of the rest of us. In a battle of wits between Dan and a Crash Test Dummy, the wise money is bet on the Dummy.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

Meet Dan's mom. I didn't call her back, afterall F is arrested and can't use the phone any time she likes.

She says Dan has been in Lagos since last week.

http://media.putfile.com/dans-mom

Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2007 9:30 pm

The crashtest dummy would win every time, unless it was plastic mini car tesing week. Does anyone with a good autobaiter want a go at dan? You can have him if you bcc me copies.PM me.

dan goes quiet for ages when he's 'brook', but once you're on his list, you'll always get him out of the blue, with his crap lottery or his 'daddy was a dead goldminer' format, or something new and equally entertaining.

RS17, shit that he is, looks like he's abandoned you to Interpol, along with his Aston. Mam is smarter than dan 'Are you in your own country?'

Sounds like you managed to spend all his money, and made him cry. Crying or Very sad

Aaaahhh....

If he dumps you altogether, I can copy one of his formats to you, and you can reply as someone else.... Hey, you could be Victoria, reading David's emails one night.....
Twisted Evil

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

No he hasn't dumped her altogether but mom managed to get a message to Dan. He left these offline messages last night. Pretty pathetic apology if you ask me.

Quote:

dan: sweetheart,i know how u feel,but i want to let you know that i am very sorry for what happened and i know its not easy to forget and forgive,but sweetheart i need u to please forgive me please
dan: sweetheart read my message of Apology
dan: i am so sorry and i love you
dan: bye from ur Darling husband Dan

Edited to add this.

Quote:

dan: sweetheart please i need our forgiveness
dan: and i'm really worried about a brother that just passed out i'm really unhappy
dan: about that and is only ur love that will make me regain my happiness
dan: sweetheart i love,and i want u to love me too

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

He loves her more than life itself, yet he can't seem to get back to the Interpol Agent that has her imprisoned. That's Dan for you.

Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 3:25 pm

David Beckham to stupid boy:

Quote:

Dear Dan,

I have had some frantic calls from Fxxxx's family, apparently she has
been arrested at Lagos Airport on suspicion of associating with a
known TERRORIST, namely YOU.

What the hell is going on?

I don't need this shit Dan. My good friend Snoop Dogg says he is going
to pop a cap in your ass mofo, whatever that means.

Must go, we are off to church with Tom and Katie.

David

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

He's been very busy with the email this morning.

I don't know what he is going on about it in the last email but I think he is saying that he is leaving his sister's and heading back home.

@JayHawk, you are right, he loves her as the center of his world but he won't lift a finger to help her.

@Roy, love the email from David.

Quote:

Oh my Darling F,
Sweetheart i just don't know how to say that i'm so sorry for what happened.

Quote:

i just can't stop loving you,you are the one my heart bit for.from the day that i met you girl i knew that your love will be everything that i have ever wanted in my life.
Sweetheart i love you.
is a great pleasure if i recieve your call today,because we have a Deal ok.
From your Darling Husband that cares about you,

Quote:

sweetheart,
I know how you feel,i can feel the passion in your eyes and in your heart my darling F.i know is not easy to forgive,but i believe is your believe if you want to,but i need you to forget this whole issue please sweetheart,this is not the best way you know,lets face reality.
I just don't know where to start asking your forgiveness i know i hurt hurt you my Darling F.
Sweetheart i want you to know that you are the only thing standing in my world,in my world you are the only sun,star,even the moon,i have build my self around your world like a rock that nothing can move,you are my life my everything you re the only one that i have ever loved in my life sweetheart i need you.
You are my Queen and me your King,you are my greatest achievement in my world i just can't get you out of my thought i know you must have been thinking that i don't love you,but i got to let you know if that is your thought is not leading you to the right side.
you are just like the sun ,the light of the earth you are the light of my life,the only one i ever seen with a smile so bright,sweetheart i want to let you know that i love you,and you are the only one that i will love i give you m heart my soul my money and my body and every other thing you may think of in me.
i have great pleasure spending time in me,you are far,but still yet i can't feel it because of the love you have for me,sweetheart you are precious than gold in my world and i just can't stop loving you till my heart bit stops.
i need you i want you to know that Jesus has wipe away all your tears,i want you to always be happy because all things happens for good.
i love you my darling F,
It will be a great pleasure to receive your call today because i'll be living out from my sister's place today i love you and i will keep on loving you.
one more thing F i want you to keep this love sailing.
From your Darling Husband,
Dan

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

It's kinda hard to forget the whole thing when Interp0l is throwing buckets of icewater in your face every hour.

Still no word from Dan to Interp0l. It's time to take it up a notch. The way to Dan's heart is through his trousers. I'll just have to send him a list of some of the "other" items we took off of F, and let him know that due to the disgusting nature of these items he has now been upgraded to a class b-2 terrorist.

F, you really are a tramp when it comes to your man. Laughing

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

I completely forgot about this call. Dan's mom is angry with F for deceiving him. Don't listen if you can't stand whining and crying.

http://media.putfile.com/Dans-mom-is-angry

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Well, here's my last try at Dan. Probably not safe for work.

**** NSFW *****

Quote:

Sir

This is to inform you of a change in your terrorist status. This change is due to pornographic items found in Miss F luggage, which include, but are not limited to, the following:

(1) pair of thigh high leather boots
(1) Dominatrix brand leather outfit, size petite
(4) crotchless underpants, size petite
(4) men's edible underwear
(2) Nipple Nibbler brand body cream, flavor - cherry
(2) Nipple Nibbler brand body cream, flavor - watermelon
(2) Nipple Nibbler brand body cream, flavor - grape
(2) Nipple Nibbler brand body cream, flavor - Pink Lemonaide
(1) "Ultimate Fantasy" Nurses outfit, size petite
(1) "Ultimate Fantasy" Police outfit, size petite
(1) "Ultimate Fantasy" French maid outfit, size petite
(1) Book titled "How to make love to a large breasted woman", published by Simon and Simon
(1) Strap on dildo, Ron J4r4my model
(1) Strap on dildo, John H0lmes model
(6) clitoris rings
(1) dvd titled "Romancing the Bone"
(1) dvd titled "Snow White and the Seven Pool Boys"
(1) dvd titled "Orgies! Orgies! Orgies!"
(1) dvd titled "Here Cum the M1dgets"
(1) dvd titled "Buttman, Volume 1"
(1) dvd titled "Buttman, Volume 2"
(1) dvd titled "Buttman, Volume 4"
(1) dvd player
(3) Leather whips, assorted sizes
(2) Glass dildos, assorted sizes
(5) Butt plugs, assorted sizes
(1) pcv pipe, 20 inches in length and 2 inches in diameter
(2) quarts ky brand lubricating jelly
(1) hamster (live)
(1) Ben Wa Balls
(1) Latex outift, color red, size petite
(1) Latex outift, color black, size petite
(3) masks
(1) GR-HD1US HDV Mini DV video camera
(1) tripod
(14) packages of Magnum brand condoms, six to a pack

Due to the nature of these items, combined with your refusal to complete the previously sent to you security form with photos, your terrorist status has been upgraded from b-3 to b-2.

Thank you for your support of Interp0l

Interpol Agent Th0mas J0nes

Let's see if this gets a response from our hero. Hell, I'm about ready to go pick Fiona up myself. Very Happy

edit - Yup. That one got his attention. All roads to Dan lead straight through the pants. Less than eight hours after sending that email, I got this response:

Quote:

Friend please i beg you don't touch her please where is she now tell me and give me the address please she is my girl friend please don't hurt her.and please friend i am not a terrorist please i am an ordinary person please give me the address please i will come there as fast as possible please oh i am so sorry i taught she had already left please friend don't hurt her please as a friend just help me with the address and i will have to come please just help me and when i get there i promise i will sign my automobile to you please just help me with your position please i promise you i will give you the automobil please my dear friend don't hurt her please she is my life.and please i am not an terrorist please just send me the address.she is my wife,she is all i have in this life please i love her and i won't allow anything to happen to her please.just help me as a friend i promise you when i get to your office i will sign my automobile for you please i need your help please my dear friend send me the address i will come please she is not a prostitude she is my wife please send me the address i will come.
please she is my life.i will do anything just for her sake please my dear friend just help me and if you can do that i promise i will issue my automobile to you.
please send the address along with a phone number so when i get there i can call,please extend my love greetings to her i love her.
from her darling husband,
Dan
i really need your support

For those of you playing along at home, Dan used the word "please" 28 times.

another edit - Four hours after Dan's last email I get this one:

Quote:

Please friend i have'nt heard from you,please friend don't deport her back to USA it will be a shama to me if she lives without seeing me please she is my girlfriend,my wife even,she is everything i have in my life please if you want me to come please give me the description on how i will come or if you want to bring her for me in my aunty's place is in festac address
7th avenue house 8,festac town amuwo adofin.
but please friend don't hurt her she is all i have,she is my life i promise i will sign the automobile for you if you can help me,just bring her to me please friend or give me a phone number i can call please i need her please,if you can do this for me the automobile will be your i promise you please.

please friend i need her just help me in anyway you can bring her to me please,she is more important than the automobile with her i can get the one more expensive than that please my dear friend don't let me down tell her i love her,she has really suffered for me you know that too.oh my dear friend i need her if i can't get her i think death will be the best part for me to play.please i need her please my dear friend don't let me down please tell her i love her.
give me a phone number i want to speak to you please,if i lost the one my heart bits for,that means i am no more.
friend i believe in you,just help me.
thanks and God bless you as you do.
thanks from Dan

Only fifteen "please"'s in that one. Dan is slipping. His everlasting love for F is touching though. It's nice to know that he can get a car more expensive than an Aust1n Mart1n from her. Rolling Eyes

Silly fool. She is being held in a top secret Interp0l facility. We don't give out those phone numbers or addresses.

If someone would like to play the role of Interp0l Agent Th0mas J0nes and make a phone call I bet you could get one hell of a performance out of Dan. Dan has promised me tongue prints more than once. I think this time I might actually be able to get them!

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