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 How long do these things last???

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Trawler
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 16 Feb 2006
Posts: 72


PostPosted: Fri May 11, 2007 9:25 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

OK, been corresponding with this vlad since April 6, and no mention of any money yet, she's just been getting progressively more attracted to me without ever really saying with any specificity what it is that attracts her. For about the last 2 weeks she's been saying she was going to call me, but hasn't done it yet. Letter before last, she asks why I'm ignoring her, demands the phone number (which I already gave 2 weeks ago). I respond with a mild slap, saying I don't like being spoken to like that, if she lost the number, it's on her.

Next letter is another rambling affirmation of her feelings and a description of how she's going to discuss our developing relationship with her mother, also giving an excuse for why she hasn't called, no mention of her short-tempered demand for the number. On advice of another poster in another thread, I respond by saying, if you would read my letters more carefully, you wouldn't have lost track of the number, and then I put some specific questions to her. Not enough time has elapsed for her to answer that one.

Is this interminable progression normal? At this rate, it's going to take forever to get to the money discussion. Is it possible that she's not a money scammer, but just fooling around, maybe practicing developing her creative writing talents, or getting a charge out of getting guys to write nice things to her? It seems ridiculous, I know, but I've been trying to\ move things along, talking about how I wanted to meet fairly soon, and she brushed me back a little (or else coincidentally talked in parallel), saying she'd like to meet me, but we have to get to know each other.

So how long do these people spend at this? I don't see her getting around to the financial discussion even within another month.
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wayne
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Joined: 05 Dec 2005
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PostPosted: Fri May 11, 2007 9:31 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Some can go on for several months without mentioning money. I have one right now that must be 3 months along with no requests for money or even a hint of it. It all depends on the script and how long it is. Just let it play out and see what happens. Find yourself a lad to torment in the meantime and string several vlads along with the same letters to each of them.

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Trawler
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Joined: 16 Feb 2006
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PostPosted: Fri May 11, 2007 9:51 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

OK, so what are some things I can do now to make the money discussion more difficult for her? One thing I've been doing is to discuss meeting her over there, talking about the things we're going to do there, meeting her mother, etc., in an attempt to forestall any discussion of her coming here, or maybe I should say to "bank" obstacles to her coming here. I'm in the U.S., so it's basically impossible for her to get a visa. (Have not mentioned anything about a visa, and am not going to, am just going to throw it up as a reason for me to go over there when we get to that point).

Have noticed that her job as she describes it is a stable, reasonable job, also she has discussed her mother's garden and fruit trees. That makes me think her mother is pretty well off; any Russian that owns any land at all is really well off for a Russian, I guess. I haven't discussed any financial issues at all, just paid attention to some of what I consider clues.
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harrya
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Joined: 23 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 1:59 am Reply with quoteBack to top

If you press her that your going to visit them her poor suck mother may just end up in hospital.

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Trawler
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Joined: 16 Feb 2006
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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 4:26 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Yeah, that thought has definitely crossed my mind all right, but my answer to that is, don't you have national health insurance over there, and anyway, doesn't your mother have quite a bit of money?

Mother as she describes her is definitely not sick now, and not that old either. She likes to work in the garden, though, maybe a garden gnome will fall over on her.
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up_and_under
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Joined: 16 Jan 2007
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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 8:23 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Just because they have some land doesn't mean they are rich. Many of the older folk have land that they build their holiday houses on and live there in the summer away from the city. They grow all sorts of things and swap with others at communal markets. I know first hand .....

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Trawler
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Joined: 16 Feb 2006
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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2007 2:35 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

See, this is great information, thanks very much. The vlad's mother must not that far from the vlad (Cheboksary), because the vlad goes over there all the time and talks to her all the time. The vlad has no phone (is going to call me from he girlfriend's house), so would have to visit mother in person in order to talk to her. So the mother has, I guess, a single family house in Cheboksary or thereabouts, with enough land for cherry and apple trees and a garden. What does that tell you, if anything, in terms of how much liquid assets the mother would have?

How would people take care of a hospitalization?

And you knowing that having land doesn't mean they're rich, and me knowing that, because you told me, doesn't mean that MY CHARACTER has to know it.

"But your mother's rich, and you told me yourself that she was very independent, even chases you out of her garden when you try to help, how is she not going to be insulted by you trying to give her any money, let alone me?"
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Hawkeyewon
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PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2007 12:59 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Just tell her you're just bonkers for her and want her to come to the US (whateverville) ASAP... "She'll" be needin' money for that, for sure!

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Trawler
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PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2007 3:36 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

But I can't be the one to raise issues like that, because then any request for money on her part is quite reasonable. Also, it suggests that I don't believe she can get a visa. If I say "I want you to do this very costly thing," why shouldn't she say "well, I need some money to do it"?

Much better to have her eventually say, "I want to come visit you in the U.S."; my response would be, "well, why don't I come over there, it'll be an interesting trip for me and I'll meet all your family and friends" and "can you even get a visa"?

And then see her answers.
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