The top 10 things..

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Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 10:30 am

You should never say to your new hubby.

I only got married a year and a half ago, but on our wedding night, I said "Do you realise, after today, I am the only woman you will ever sleep with."

He said "That's in the top 10 things you should never say to a man!! It made me laugh and I just wondered....What are the other 9?

Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 10:34 am

"Can't we just cuddle"...
"My mother wants to come to stay for a week, I said its ok"...

Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 10:41 am

^^^Bugger. I've said both of those! Laughing

Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 10:44 am

"Why do you love me?" Rolling Eyes

Just be f*$&ing grateful I do... Laughing

"Are you going out like that?" Confused

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 2628

"What colour do you want the room painted?"
He will then feel he CAN give an opinion.

"If we got rid of all that fishing stuff we'd have much more storage space"

Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 11:03 am

What are you thinking about?
Does my ass look fat in this?

Master Baiter Joined: 21 Jul 2005 Posts: 137

Conversely,

"I'll drive tonight you deserve a beer"

Is one of the things I'm only too happy to hear !

Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 11:36 am

Should I wear these black shoes or those brown ones?

Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:05 pm

'Have I put on weight?'

'Which trousers look better?'

'Do you fancy our waitress?'

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

Are we lost?

Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:13 pm

Of course I can read maps! You're driving too fast!

Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:40 pm

9. Does she look better than me?
8. I'm sorry BUT
7. Does this red lipstick look better than this exact same colour lipstick?
6. Can we find a way to spend more time together?
5. We don't talk as much as we should.
4. We NEED to do this upgrade to the house. (Implying that the upgrade is needed and that I need to do that upgrade, not we)
3. Why were you looking at her? (That one is usually pretty obvious, see #9)
2. I have a headache.
1. Not now.

Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:43 pm

yada yada yada yada....you never listen to me, when I tell you something...yada yada yada yada Wink

Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:47 pm

Married BC?

BTW- http://www.islamfortoday.com/how_to_make_your_husband_happy.htm

I am not Islamic, but if every woman could follow these simple 17 bulleted rules then things would be so much easier. Only 17 simple rules, yet sometimes these things seem so difficult for the fairer sex.

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 07 Dec 2006 Posts: 80

I'll second the "WE" phrase, when in fact, she means ME. I guess my wife is dyslexic, and turns the "M" upside down.

(jojobean's #4)

Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:54 pm

Quote:

Married BC?

Nahhh....this is just how my parents (who are married for 27 yrs) act like. But to be honest, I don�t think my Dad would have even heard the "you never listen to me"-sentence.... Laughing

Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:56 pm

I just assumed you were married, as you wrote that with such conviction.

Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:58 pm

Islam For Today wrote:

* First off, try to avoid what will guarantee his anger.
* But if it happens that you can't, then try to appease him as follows:
1- If you are mistaken, then apologize.
2- If he is mistaken then:
# Keep still instead of arguing or
# Yield your right or
# Wait until he is no longer angry and discuss the matter peacefully
with him.

I LOVE that one!!! Laughing

Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 1:13 pm

"Don't worry, size doesn't matter, honest"

Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 1:15 pm

"Are you nearly finished?" Shocked

Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 1:18 pm

"Have you started yet?" Shocked

Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 1:20 pm

"The egg timer's broken, want sex?" Laughing

Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 1:26 pm

Gnasher wrote:

"Have you started yet?" Shocked

That is the number one question you should not ask HER.

Quote:

"Don't worry, size doesn't matter, honest"

BWHAHAHHAHAHA!

Might I ask what an egg timer is? I can honestly say I have never heard that one from my wife.

Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 1:30 pm

jojobean wrote:

Might I ask what an egg timer is? I can honestly say I have never heard that one from my wife.

Neither have I!! Laughing

It is a device used to measure the time it takes to boil an egg. I think its about two minutes or something (I don't do boiled eggs - not good ones, anyway)...

Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 2:12 pm

jojobean wrote:

if every woman could follow these simple 17 bulleted rules then things would be so much easier. Only 17 simple rules, yet sometimes these things seem so difficult for the fairer sex.

Rules for men explained
http://www.freemaninstitute.com/rules.htm

If these rules are too complicated, the most important part is "one single rule applies: Make the woman happy."