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 The top 10 things..

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it wasn't me
Elite Baiter


Joined: 18 Feb 2007
Posts: 1043
Location: sitting in the corner drinking wine, eating cheese


PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 10:30 am Reply with quoteBack to top

You should never say to your new hubby.

I only got married a year and a half ago, but on our wedding night, I said "Do you realise, after today, I am the only woman you will ever sleep with."

He said "That's in the top 10 things you should never say to a man!! It made me laugh and I just wondered....What are the other 9?

_________________
Do not be sceptical be pessimistic - Lotto scam.
I just don't know how to express the gravy of my happiness. - Barrister M Abd0lla
you nose i have been away in the middly east. -Ali Al1

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B.L.Z. Bubb
Dudley Dooright


Joined: 23 Feb 2005
Posts: 723
Location: Dreaming of the Eater Ladies


PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 10:34 am Reply with quoteBack to top

"Can't we just cuddle"...
"My mother wants to come to stay for a week, I said its ok"...

_________________
"i will search for your mother.I will like to feed my own crocodile with your mum for christmas. GOAT FELCHER!" - Nicky Don (Who couldn't even write his own insults!)

"Please note for your information i am not boner,my name is bona Williams." - Reminded me of Shiver's "Ahoy Matey" quote...

"Maybe we should all just have an orgy and not worry about who belongs to whom." - from 419eater chat. This is what you're missing if you're not in it.

Kids, don't PostWhore for your Orange Name or you'll end up like me. Do the right thing. Donate.

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it wasn't me
Elite Baiter


Joined: 18 Feb 2007
Posts: 1043
Location: sitting in the corner drinking wine, eating cheese


PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 10:41 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^Bugger. I've said both of those! Laughing

_________________
Do not be sceptical be pessimistic - Lotto scam.
I just don't know how to express the gravy of my happiness. - Barrister M Abd0lla
you nose i have been away in the middly east. -Ali Al1

Pretty Rose

pony
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B.L.Z. Bubb
Dudley Dooright


Joined: 23 Feb 2005
Posts: 723
Location: Dreaming of the Eater Ladies


PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 10:44 am Reply with quoteBack to top

"Why do you love me?" Rolling Eyes Just be f*$&ing grateful I do... Laughing
"Are you going out like that?" Confused

_________________
"i will search for your mother.I will like to feed my own crocodile with your mum for christmas. GOAT FELCHER!" - Nicky Don (Who couldn't even write his own insults!)

"Please note for your information i am not boner,my name is bona Williams." - Reminded me of Shiver's "Ahoy Matey" quote...

"Maybe we should all just have an orgy and not worry about who belongs to whom." - from 419eater chat. This is what you're missing if you're not in it.

Kids, don't PostWhore for your Orange Name or you'll end up like me. Do the right thing. Donate.

Deaded Banks: Malaysia x2
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Nanny Ogg
"Bruce"


Joined: 19 Mar 2007
Posts: 2624


PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 10:47 am Reply with quoteBack to top

"What colour do you want the room painted?"
He will then feel he CAN give an opinion.

"If we got rid of all that fishing stuff we'd have much more storage space"
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Don
Baiting Guru


Joined: 25 May 2004
Posts: 3045
Location: Italy, 87.2.222.132


PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 11:03 am Reply with quoteBack to top

What are you thinking about?
Does my ass look fat in this?

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**"Freedom? There ain't no fuckin' Freedom!"**
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DarkKnight
Master Baiter


Joined: 21 Jul 2005
Posts: 137


PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 11:31 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Conversely,

"I'll drive tonight you deserve a beer"

Is one of the things I'm only too happy to hear !

_________________
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windypops
Baiting Guru


Joined: 25 Jan 2005
Posts: 5884
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 11:36 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Should I wear these black shoes or those brown ones?

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Miss Behaving
Master Baiter


Joined: 20 Apr 2006
Posts: 190
Location: Down the bookies


PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:05 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

'Have I put on weight?'

'Which trousers look better?'

'Do you fancy our waitress?'

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JMRazor
Baiting Guru


Joined: 03 Mar 2006
Posts: 7103
Location: Yes


PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:10 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Are we lost?

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Don
Baiting Guru


Joined: 25 May 2004
Posts: 3045
Location: Italy, 87.2.222.132


PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:13 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Of course I can read maps! You're driving too fast!

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jojobean
Baiting Guru


Joined: 01 Dec 2005
Posts: 7586
Location: YOU WILL DRINK YOUR URINE IN A COMERCIAL BUS


PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:40 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

9. Does she look better than me?
8. I'm sorry BUT
7. Does this red lipstick look better than this exact same colour lipstick?
6. Can we find a way to spend more time together?
5. We don't talk as much as we should.
4. We NEED to do this upgrade to the house. (Implying that the upgrade is needed and that I need to do that upgrade, not we)
3. Why were you looking at her? (That one is usually pretty obvious, see #9)
2. I have a headache.
1. Not now.

_________________
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Licking Dirty Floors


Joined: 01 Feb 2006
Posts: 2075
Location: On my knees, licking floors together with TSnerd


PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

yada yada yada yada....you never listen to me, when I tell you something...yada yada yada yada Wink

_________________
I´d vote for Don or TS but Lotta, Juan and sheboppe are the best! But the squirrel still sucks on the buttons *g*

"your papa, i do you ok, you do fuck your self off goodday" Hitman lad to Usm4an B3ll0
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jojobean
Baiting Guru


Joined: 01 Dec 2005
Posts: 7586
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:47 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Married BC?

BTW- http://www.islamfortoday.com/how_to_make_your_husband_happy.htm

I am not Islamic, but if every woman could follow these simple 17 bulleted rules then things would be so much easier. Only 17 simple rules, yet sometimes these things seem so difficult for the fairer sex.

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Shotgun_Mosquito
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 07 Dec 2006
Posts: 80


PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:51 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I'll second the "WE" phrase, when in fact, she means ME. I guess my wife is dyslexic, and turns the "M" upside down.

(jojobean's #4)
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Licking Dirty Floors


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Location: On my knees, licking floors together with TSnerd


PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:54 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Married BC?


Nahhh....this is just how my parents (who are married for 27 yrs) act like. But to be honest, I dont think my Dad would have even heard the "you never listen to me"-sentence.... Laughing Laughing

_________________
I´d vote for Don or TS but Lotta, Juan and sheboppe are the best! But the squirrel still sucks on the buttons *g*

"your papa, i do you ok, you do fuck your self off goodday" Hitman lad to Usm4an B3ll0
"fuck you and your mumu family for ever andv ever, you go die for bicycle accident this year" Hitman to Usm4n B3ll0
"once again thank you for the disappointment and arranged confussion." Barrister Ise
"Do you said am stupid" lad posing as Mike Pence
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jojobean
Baiting Guru


Joined: 01 Dec 2005
Posts: 7586
Location: YOU WILL DRINK YOUR URINE IN A COMERCIAL BUS


PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:56 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I just assumed you were married, as you wrote that with such conviction.

_________________
Golden Pith Globe T.W.A.T Jack Boot
Christ Safari Ghana-Chad
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Kevin Pith Helmet 10 Safari Accra- BF x2, Togo x2, Kumasi x3, Bolgatanga, Benin City, Tamale x2 Suitcase 5k miles Tattoo x 6
Kenny Safari Safari Safari 3k miles- dont f*ck me up about the payment plz. i have a policy about that. I JUST GOT A SMALL GOAT TODAY AND ITS IN MY HOUSE NOW. i lobve the goat.
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B.L.Z. Bubb
Dudley Dooright


Joined: 23 Feb 2005
Posts: 723
Location: Dreaming of the Eater Ladies


PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:58 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Islam For Today wrote:
* First off, try to avoid what will guarantee his anger.
* But if it happens that you can't, then try to appease him as follows:
1- If you are mistaken, then apologize.
2- If he is mistaken then:
# Keep still instead of arguing or
# Yield your right or
# Wait until he is no longer angry and discuss the matter peacefully
with him.


I LOVE that one!!! Laughing

_________________
"i will search for your mother.I will like to feed my own crocodile with your mum for christmas. GOAT FELCHER!" - Nicky Don (Who couldn't even write his own insults!)

"Please note for your information i am not boner,my name is bona Williams." - Reminded me of Shiver's "Ahoy Matey" quote...

"Maybe we should all just have an orgy and not worry about who belongs to whom." - from 419eater chat. This is what you're missing if you're not in it.

Kids, don't PostWhore for your Orange Name or you'll end up like me. Do the right thing. Donate.

Deaded Banks: Malaysia x2
pony Mortar x24
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Gnasher
Baiting Guru


Joined: 29 May 2006
Posts: 2849
Location: Centre Stage in the Theatre of Cruelty


PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 1:13 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

"Don't worry, size doesn't matter, honest"

_________________
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"Please pray harder for God to guide and protect us during our travelling because flight airplane i observe is a very big risky" Abdul Karibu
"WE DOESN'T LIKE HOW DISOBIDIENT YOU ARE!" Coco Law Chambers
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B.L.Z. Bubb
Dudley Dooright


Joined: 23 Feb 2005
Posts: 723
Location: Dreaming of the Eater Ladies


PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 1:15 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

"Are you nearly finished?" Shocked

_________________
"i will search for your mother.I will like to feed my own crocodile with your mum for christmas. GOAT FELCHER!" - Nicky Don (Who couldn't even write his own insults!)

"Please note for your information i am not boner,my name is bona Williams." - Reminded me of Shiver's "Ahoy Matey" quote...

"Maybe we should all just have an orgy and not worry about who belongs to whom." - from 419eater chat. This is what you're missing if you're not in it.

Kids, don't PostWhore for your Orange Name or you'll end up like me. Do the right thing. Donate.

Deaded Banks: Malaysia x2
pony Mortar x24
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Gnasher
Baiting Guru


Joined: 29 May 2006
Posts: 2849
Location: Centre Stage in the Theatre of Cruelty


PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 1:18 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

"Have you started yet?" Shocked Shocked

_________________
Mortar x21
"you have to pay because he need to submit this form to the Federal Ministry Of Fancies" Barrister John/Mike/Richard Okeke
"they are in deed the swinders rotating about in the net and searching for whom they will stylishly defraud your belongings" A. Moron
"Please pray harder for God to guide and protect us during our travelling because flight airplane i observe is a very big risky" Abdul Karibu
"WE DOESN'T LIKE HOW DISOBIDIENT YOU ARE!" Coco Law Chambers
"BE INFORMED THAT YOU WILL INCUR DUMMERAGE AFTER 9 DAYS FROM TODAY" Burkina Faso Air Secure Air Service.\
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B.L.Z. Bubb
Dudley Dooright


Joined: 23 Feb 2005
Posts: 723
Location: Dreaming of the Eater Ladies


PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 1:20 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

"The egg timer's broken, want sex?" Laughing

_________________
"i will search for your mother.I will like to feed my own crocodile with your mum for christmas. GOAT FELCHER!" - Nicky Don (Who couldn't even write his own insults!)

"Please note for your information i am not boner,my name is bona Williams." - Reminded me of Shiver's "Ahoy Matey" quote...

"Maybe we should all just have an orgy and not worry about who belongs to whom." - from 419eater chat. This is what you're missing if you're not in it.

Kids, don't PostWhore for your Orange Name or you'll end up like me. Do the right thing. Donate.

Deaded Banks: Malaysia x2
pony Mortar x24
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jojobean
Baiting Guru


Joined: 01 Dec 2005
Posts: 7586
Location: YOU WILL DRINK YOUR URINE IN A COMERCIAL BUS


PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 1:26 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Gnasher wrote:
"Have you started yet?" Shocked Shocked


That is the number one question you should not ask HER.

Quote:
"Don't worry, size doesn't matter, honest"


BWHAHAHHAHAHA!

Might I ask what an egg timer is? I can honestly say I have never heard that one from my wife.

_________________
Golden Pith Globe T.W.A.T Jack Boot
Christ Safari Ghana-Chad
Miracle Safari Benin-Chad
Omar Safari Edo-Abeche T.W.A.T
Adamu Safari Lagos-Abeche
Emi Safari- S Africa-Egypt-Sudan 10k miles
Chris Safari Jolly Roger Dakar-Niger-BF-Cameroon-Lagos-Mali-Nairobi 9.6k miles

Kevin Pith Helmet 10 Safari Accra- BF x2, Togo x2, Kumasi x3, Bolgatanga, Benin City, Tamale x2 Suitcase 5k miles Tattoo x 6
Kenny Safari Safari Safari 3k miles- dont f*ck me up about the payment plz. i have a policy about that. I JUST GOT A SMALL GOAT TODAY AND ITS IN MY HOUSE NOW. i lobve the goat.
Goat
Ben Safari Safari Safari 2.5k miles

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B.L.Z. Bubb
Dudley Dooright


Joined: 23 Feb 2005
Posts: 723
Location: Dreaming of the Eater Ladies


PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 1:30 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

jojobean wrote:
Might I ask what an egg timer is? I can honestly say I have never heard that one from my wife.


Neither have I!! Laughing

It is a device used to measure the time it takes to boil an egg. I think its about two minutes or something (I don't do boiled eggs - not good ones, anyway)...

_________________
"i will search for your mother.I will like to feed my own crocodile with your mum for christmas. GOAT FELCHER!" - Nicky Don (Who couldn't even write his own insults!)

"Please note for your information i am not boner,my name is bona Williams." - Reminded me of Shiver's "Ahoy Matey" quote...

"Maybe we should all just have an orgy and not worry about who belongs to whom." - from 419eater chat. This is what you're missing if you're not in it.

Kids, don't PostWhore for your Orange Name or you'll end up like me. Do the right thing. Donate.

Deaded Banks: Malaysia x2
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PRS Girly Girl
Will Post for Food


Joined: 06 Mar 2007
Posts: 1174
Location: Any place where cute shoes are on sale.


PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 2:12 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

jojobean wrote:
if every woman could follow these simple 17 bulleted rules then things would be so much easier. Only 17 simple rules, yet sometimes these things seem so difficult for the fairer sex.


Rules for men explained
http://www.freemaninstitute.com/rules.htm

If these rules are too complicated, the most important part is "one single rule applies: Make the woman happy."

_________________
"A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are." Chauncey Mitchell Depew

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." Robert A. Heinlein

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