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 first trophy, first airport visit

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Rev. Ben Dover
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 13 Mar 2007
Posts: 30


PostPosted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 7:20 am Reply with quoteBack to top

This is a bait I did some time back but never posted until now. It was one of my first attempts at using the ASEM strategy and it worked like a charm. Not only did I get a trophy in short order, at which I was shocked because it was such a ridiculous request yet it came so quickly, but my pet also apparently showed up at the airport in Accra, Ghana, with signage and 12 working girls. Of course, I did not, so he moved onto my hotel only to discover I was not there either. After that he disappeared but I had already had a month's worth of fun out of him. Enjoy!

My first response, to the typical scam letter:

Greetings Reverend, in the Spirit of the Holy Mackerel.

I am happy to let you know that Bishop Skankrump has
given his tentative approve for the transfer of the
$128,000. As we discussed, this should be enough to
cover the repairs to the hospital cafeteria and roof
caused by the explosion.

The Bishop suggested that in the future, any
rumpranger celebrations be conducted a bit further
away from the hospital to prevent any further damage
to your end. It is a shame to end up spending money on
cafeteria repairs when the money could have gone
toward something more constructive, such as the new
interactive pornographic theatre we talked about.

As I mentioned in my last correspondence, I will be in
West Africa next week and would like to deliver the
money personally, rather than incur the asnine and
holy shit charges the bank would expect.

This is very important: Since we have not met in
person before, the Bishop has asked that you send me a
photograph of yourself holding a mackerel, the symbol of
our beloved church, and a sign which I will now describe,
so that I'll be able to recognize you when you meet me at the airport.
Therefore, please e-mail me a photo of yourself
holding a large sign stating: "I Ben Dover for Holy Mackerel"

The Bishop will not approve the money transfer until
he sees the sign and is comfortable in knowing that
you are a sincere and honest person. He is very strict
in this matter, so please be sure the sign is correct.
Also, he will be leaving for Cambodia on a mission to
help locate land mines with a stick early next week
and will be gone for two weeks, so please do your best
to have the photo to me by week's end.

Sincerely dearly beloved for Pete's Sake in the name
of the Church of the Holy Frikin Mackerel,

Dr. Ben Dover

After a bit of minor resistance (can't find those emails) a few days later, "Christian Mekas" sent this picture:

Image

I'm thrilled of course and surprised at his eagerness to please, but I decide to ignore him for a day or two to see how he responds. He writes:

--- christian mekas wrote:
> DEAR BEN DOVER
> PLEASE I SEND YOU MY PICTURE WITH HOLDING A FISH BUT
> I DID NOT SEE YOUR REPLY YET PLEASE I WANT TO KNOW
> HAVE YOU RIESIVE IT? PLEASE REPLY ME AND TELL ME THE
> NEXT THING TO DO PLEASE.
> BEST REGARD
> ENGR.CHRISTIAN MEKAS.


I respond and decide to see if he'll carry that sign around for me a bit and meet me at the airport. I nonchanlantly throw in my expectation for him to bring along some working girls.

Greetings in the Spirit of the Holy Mackerel,

I am sorry for the delay. I was brushing my teeth.

Yes, I did receive your picture. What a cute fish you found.

As I mentioned in my last correspondence, I will be in
West Africa next week and would like to deliver the
money personally, rather than incur the asnine and
holy shit charges the bank would expect. Will you be
able to meet me at the airport with the seven girls?

Also, please let me know what gifts you would like me
to bring. A sundial or a toaster oven would be nice, I
think. Or maybe a toboggan.

Sincerely dearly beloved we gathered here today today
for Pete's Sake in the name of the Church of the Holy
Frikin Mackerel,

Dr. Ben Dover


His response:

DEAR DR BEN DOVER,
I HAVE RECIEVED YOUR MAIL BUT THAT WAS NOT YOUR FIRST ASSURANCE BEFORE I SENT YOU THIS PICTURE.
HOWEVER, I WILL LIKE TO HAVE A SMALL AMOUNT OF MONEY SENT TO ME TO MENTAIN CERTAIN ISSUES BEFORE YOU COME,AND I WILL LIKE YOU TO TELL ME EXACTLY THE WEST AFRICAN COUNTRY YOU WISH TO COME.IF I MAY ADVICE,I WILL SAY YOU COME TO GHANA SO THAT I CAN ARRANGE FOR SOME PURE GOLD OF 24 CARRATS FROM THE LOCAL CO-OPERATIVE MINERS FOR YOU TO SELL FOR THE REHABILITATION OF ALL HOLY MACKEREL CHURCHES.
AS FOR COMMING TO MEET YOU WITH THE GIRLS,I NEED SOME CASH TO ACTUALISE IT AS IT REQUIRES TO CONVINCE THE AIRPORT AUTHORITIES THAT THE GIRLS ARE NOT GOING TO DISPLAY FOR PROSTITUTION PARADE AS BELIEVED.
IT ALSO SEEMS YOU HAVE DEVIATED FROM YOUR FIRST PROMISE SAYING YOU DONT WANT TO PAY CHARGES TO BANK AS YOU WANT TO DELIVER IT BY HAND TO ME WHEN YOU ARRIVE.
I NEED A POSITIVE ANSWER FROM YOU FOR THERE IS MANY POTENTIAL HERE IN WEST AFRICA RANGING FROM CRUDE OIL,DIAMOND AND GOLD WHICH YOU AS A BISHOP WITH ME ,HAVE MANY CHANCES OF TAKING IT OUT WITH THE PRESIDENT OF THE COUNTRY I HAVE SENT YOU MY PICTURE WITH HIM.
FINALLY I WILL LIKE TO KNOW THE COUNTRY YOU ARE STAYING.?
THANKS AS I EXPECT YOUR RESPONSE NOW.
BEST REGARD
ENGR.CHRISTIAN MEKAS.


Whatever. My vague and irritating response in which I advise him to I have sent the prostitute money he requested to him via Western Union:

Mr. Mekas,

Thank you for your letter. I will take your advice and visit you in Accra, Ghana, if you will be able to meet me at the airport. Please advise as soon as possible if this is possible as soon as possible so I can confirm my itinerary as soon as possible, if possible.
I can leave as early as two days from now if you will be able to meet me there. Please let me know as soon as possible if this is possible.
I have also sent some money via Western Union which you should be able to pick up now.
The money was sent via Western Union and the MTCN number is: 2846780362.
The money has been sent from myself in the amount of USD $16,425.00. This should cover the airport fees and the girls. I have decided that I would now like 10 girls from which to choose instead of the seven I originally requested. Also, as this will be such a long flight, will you bring me some food to the airport so I can eat and regain my strength as soon as I arrive? Please bring several fish and vegetables if possible. You can get the girls to help you carry the fish.

Should you need it to pick up the money, my address is:
The Church of the Holy Mackerel for Pete's Sake
69 Hipposwannastompagugu Trail
Bimble, KY 40509
Phone: 206-888-2470

Thank you and forever keep up the Spirit of the Holy Mackerel for Pete's Sake God Almighty Jesus Christ Amen,

Dr. Ben Dover


The money wasn't there...imagine that! He's ticked off but remains mine, sincerely. Smile

DEAR DR. BEN DOVER,

IT IS VERY DISHEARTENING TO NOTE THAT UPON ALL THE TRUST AND RESPECT I HAVE FOR YOU AS A BISHOP AND THE SPIRIT OF THE SO CALLED HOLY MACKEREL AS YOUR PETEE, THAT YOU COULD MISLEAD ME TO SPEND MONEY ON YOUR BEHALF TO ARRANGE GIRLS AND PUT UP THE OWNERSHIP OF A BIG QUANTITY OF GOLD READY FOR EXPORT IN YOUR NAME AND TO YOUR NOMINATED DESTINATION.

I HAVE VIRTUALLY COMPLETED ALL THE INSTRUCTION AND REQUIREMENTS YOU GAVE BY SENDING YOU MY PICTURE AND ALL YOU REQUESTED IN ORDER TO SEND ME THE MONEY YOU PROMISED FOR MY REHABILITATION. YOUR GOD HOLY MACKEREL FOR PETEíS SAKE HAS SUPPORTED YOUR MOVE BY PRESENTING THE CO-OPERATIVE MINERS TO RELEASE THE QUANTITY OF GOLD FOR YOUR FURTHER PURSUIT OF REHABILITATING PEOPLE BUT IT SEEMS YOU ARE DRAGGING IT TO THE MUD. THE WORST IS THAT YOU CLAIMED TO HAVE SEND ME MONEY FOR AIRPORT EXPENSES OF THE GIRLS IN ACCRA, ONLY TO BE TOLD BY THE WESTERN UNION IN ACCRA THAT NOTHING OF SUCH NUMBER IS SEEN IN THEIR COMPUTER AND TO THE DISOBEDIENT OF TRANSPARENCY YOU KEPT ME IN ENIGMA FOR 7 DAYS CALLING AND SENDING MAILS TO YOU WITHOUT RESPONSE.

I STILL WONDER HOW I CAN BELIEVE YOU OR HOW TO CONVINCE THE GIRLS WHOM I HAVE SENT YOU THEIR PICTURES AND THE MINERS THAT YOU ARE TO BE TAKEN SERIOUS, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO AT LEAST UPDATE ME OF YOUR SITUATION OR STAND SO THAT I WILL KNOW HOW TRUSTWORTHY YOU ARE WITH YOUR BELIEVE WHICH YOU WANT US TO FOLLOW.

I AM SENDING THIS MESSAGE WHICH I AM SURE YOU WILL RECEIVE LIKE OTHERS TO FURTHER TEST YOUR FAITH IN HOLY MACKEREL AND URGE YOU TO DECLARE YOUR SELF BEFORE YOUR FAITH IN THIS MISLEADING REPRESENTATION AND PERSONAL DISCREDIT WHICH IS NOT LATE TO AMEND.


I REMAIN YOURS SINCERELY,

ENGR. CHRISTIAN MEKAS

I ignore him...he cools off...wacks out a bit, talking about miners and the president of Togo as he re-arranges my girls, food and "potentials."

> MY DEAR BEN DORER,
>
> I HAVE ONCE AGAIN RECEIVED YOUR MAIL OF ENIGMA.
>
> THE FACT IS THAT I DONíT KNOW WERE TO START
> BELIEVING YOU AS A BISHOP OF HOLY MACKEREL WHICH
YOU SERVE, BUT I BELIEVE IN THE OMINI POTENT OMIN
> PRESENT AND OMINISCIENCE GOD WHICH IS THE
UNIVERSAL GOD IN HEAVEN WHOM I SERVE.
>
> DO I START BELIEVING YOU FROM YOUR FIRST
PROMISE OR THE SECOND? THE THIRD WHICH HAD PROMPTED ME TO
> SEND MY PICTURE TO YOU AND THE PICTURE I TOOK
WITH THE PRESDENT OF TOGO WHO HAS ASSITED ME TO
ARRANGE FOR THE GOLD THAT IS NOW KEPT IN YOUR NAME BY
THAT CO-OPERATIVE MINERS? AND OR THE PICTURES I SENT
TO YOU TAKEN WITH THE GROUP OF GIRLS YOU HAVE IN
YOUR MAIL TOLD ME TO ARRANG WITH BORROWED MONY PLACING THEM IN UNIFORM TO ASSURE YOU OF MY CREDIBILITY
IN ALL MY ARRANGEMENTS.
>
> IF I MAY ASK, HOW CAN I NOW BELIEVE YOUR LAST
MAIL AS COPIED BELOW WHEN YO7U DISCIEVED ME
TO WAIT FOR YOUR ARRIVAL IN ACCRA GHANA FOR 7 DAYS
> GIVING ME A FALSE INFORMATION ON WESTERN UNION
> TRANSFER WHICH COULD HAVE LANDED ME IN TROUBLE IF
I DID NOT BELONG.
>
ANYWAY, LET ME GIVE YOU THE LAST TRUST TO HEAR
ABUT TH MONEY YOU SAID YOU SENT WHICH WAS NO WHERE TO
BE FOUND IN THE WESTERN UNION RECORD, CAN YOU AT
LEAST SEND SOME THING AND TALL ME WITH THE FEAR OF THE
GOD YOU SERVE WHEN IS YOUR ARRIVAL SO THAT I CAN RE
> ARRANGE THE GIRLS, FOOD, AND THE POTENTIALS
> (GOLD/DIAMOND) WHICH YOU WILL GO BACK WITH OR CAN
> YOU SEND ME A FLIGHT TICKET TOGETHER WITH SOME
OF THE MONEY TO CONVINCE ME THAT YOU ARE TRULY A
MAN OF GOD YOU SERVE FOR M TO BE ABLE TO CONVINCE MY
> PEOPLE WHO WILL TROOPTO THE AIRPORT TO RECIEV
YOU AS AN AUGUST VISTOR, SO THAT ALL WHAT WE SANG
> PRASES ABOUT YOU WILL THAT .
>
> I WAIT YOUR NEXTUPDATE WITHOUT STORIES FOR THE
> BLESSING OF GOD DOESENíT ADD SORROWS.
>
> I REMAIN YOURS.
>
> ENGR. CHRISTIAN MEKAS.


Ummm...OK. Just quit yapping and meet me at the airport. With a new sign.

Hello honey bunches of oats in the Spirit of the Holy
Mackerel,

I have good news at last. I will be arriving in Accra
on Ghana Airways 731 at 4:00 a.m., coming from London.
The plane will be a Boeing Douglas DC-10 but I'm not
sure what color it is. It may be too dark to see the
colors on the plane anyway at that time. Is it dark in
Ghana at 4:00 a.m.? I hope not. It was the only flight
arrangement I could make on such short notice Christ
Sakes Alive.

I look forward to meeting you finally and all 12 girls
you have arranged for me. I trust they will all
accompany you to the airport. Also, please, and this
is very important, please be sure to carry a large
sign over your head so I can find you easily. The sign
should read "gay boy for hire" which is the secret
code we agreed upon previously. It may be helpful for
me if you would shout my name Ben Dover over and over
until I find you.

If we somehow miss each other at the airport, I will
proceed on to my hotel, which is the New Coco Beach
Resort in Teshie-Nungua. I will wait for you in the
lobby and watch for you and the girls with your sign
and listen for you to call my name.

Please tell me again what kind of gifts you'd like me
to bring and how many. It was 14 sundials, a toaster
oven and some extra extra large under trousers for the
girls, correct? Please forgive me if I am mistaken as
I have been in the toilet a lot lately but now I'm
out.

I look forward to our meeting with great ineptitude
and a full bosom. I will see you soon and we will make
our transaction complete finally Land Before Time.

In the Spirit of the Holy Mackerel for Pete's Sake
Good Lord Almighty Jesus H. Christ Amen,

Dr. Ben Dover
The Church of the Holy Mackerel same as above


Awww...seems he's confused and upset again. I only asked for a new sign and two additional girls.

BEN DOVER,
I HAVE GOTTEN YOUR MAIL. BUT STILL CONFUSED ABOUT YOUR CONTINUOUS DEVIATIONS AND ADJUSTMENTS IN ALL THESE ARRANGEMENTS. I HAVE MADE ALL ARRANGEMENTS AS I HAVE SOLEMNLY AGREED WITH YOU AND I AM READY TO SEND YOU THE PROVE OF PROPERTY AS I OBTAINED IN YOUR NAME FOR THE GOLD ETC.
BUT ALL WHAT YOU HAVE EARLIER PROMISED AND SWORN WITH YOUR GOD HAS NOT BEEN FULFILLED EVEN ONE AND NOW YOU ARE ADDING 2 GIRLS TO 10 GIRLS MAKING IT 12 WHICH IS CONTRARY TO OUR AGREEMENT AND TELLING ME WITH THE GIRLS TO CARRY SIGN WRITTEN GAY BOYS FOR HIRE AND AT THE SAME TIME BE SHOUTING YOUR NAME ď BEN DOVER OVER AND OVER. I DONíT REALLY AND CANNOT UNDERSTAND YOUR PLANS OR IDEA AND THAT GIVES ME DOUBT IF YOU CAN DO AS WE AGREE WHEN THIS GOLD COMES TO YOU. CONSIDERING WHAT HAS HAPPENED BETWEEN ME AND YOU BECAUSE OF TRUST,

I WILL RESPECT YOU AND GO FURTHER TO DO ALL YOU SAID AND CONVINCE BOTH THE CO-OPERATIVE MINERS AND THE GIRLS AND THE AIRPORT AUTHORITY IF YOU WILL SEND THIS MONEY TO ME OR EVEN THE MONEY I HAVE SPENT TO GET THIS ARRANGEMENT TO THIS STAGE OTHERWISE I CANNOT TRUST YOU ANYMORE AND I WILL TELL ALL CONCERNED TO DO SO TO CONVINCE ME THAT YOU ARE WHAT YOU SAID YOU ARE , SEND THE MONEY AND BE SURE THAT NO ONE HAS TAKEN OAT WITH YOU IN THIS REGARD UNLESS WE SEE YOUR TRANSPARENCY AND AGREEMENT.

THANKS.
BEST REGARDS
ENGR.CHRISTIAN MEKAS.


Who in the hell are these miners he keeps going on about? I never asked for any miners. Short response...got a plane to catch!

Dear boy,

Please understand that I will brining the money to deliver to you in person as it is not safe to try to deliver such a large amount by Western Union.
I expect to see you and the girls at the airport as promised. I will be departing very soon and do not have any time left for other matters of delay at this point.

Rev. Ben Dover


He's agreed to bring me my bitches to the airport but he wants phones, not toasters or toboggans.

DEAR DR BEN DOVER,
THANKS FOR YOUR MESSAGE, I HAVE BEEN UNDERSTANDING YOU,BUT YOU SEEMS NOT TO BE TELLING ME WHAT I WILL UNDERSTAND AS ALL WHAT WHAT YOUHAVE SAID IS NOT DONE.BUT NOT UNDERSTANDING I WILL TRY TO UNDERSTAND YOU FOR THE LAST TIME INTIMATING THE MINERS WHO HAVE STAKED THERE SWEAT(GOLD)TO GIVE TO YOUAND THE GIRLS WHO WILL COME TO WELCOME YOU AT THE AIRPORT TO CARRY THE SIGNS. I NEED YOUR FULL FLIGHT SCHEDULE AND CHECK IT WITH THE AIRLINE TO MAKE SURE YOU ARE COMMING I AM STRICTLY INTERESTED IN THIS GOLD YOU WILL GO WITH AND NEED ALL THESE PARTICULARS FOR CHECK SO THAT I WILL NOT SELL MY WORDS AS YOU HAVE EARLIER COMMITED ME TO DO.
FINALY WHAT INEED AS GIFT IF YOU ARE COMMING IS ONLY 6 GOOD GSM HANDSET OF A GOOD QUALITY. LET ME KNOW EXACTLY YOUR DEPARTURE/ARRIVAL DATE SO THAT ICAN WAIT.
BEST REGARDS
ENGR CHRISTIAN MEKAS.


I find a real flight schedule to make sure he shows up and and slap him a bit because I already told him once. Didn't I? lol

Are you daft? I have already told you my arrival date in my previous e-mail. I will be arriving in Accra on Saturday, the 18th of September at 4 a.m. I've attached it again below.

Depart: 9:30pm
Arrive: 4:00am
London, United Kingdom (LHR)
Accra, Ghana (ACC)
Economy | 7hr 30min | Boeing Douglas DC-10

Please let me know if you will be at the airport with the sign as I requested so I can find you. If I arrive and cannot find you either at the airport or hotel I will simply move on and your chance to conduct business with me will be lost. I have no more time for silly accusations and threats.

Dr. Ben Dover


Somehow we missed each other...imagine that. And he finally learned how to turn the caps off.

Dear Dr Ben Dover,

Ihave been waiting with the girls for your arrival in Accra since this morning but I happened to miss you on arrival.If you hac arrived,please call me on this new number that I have just taken.the number is 0244 019 349 Iam waiting to come and see you in the hotel as soon as I get our mail.

Try to also give me the number of the Hotel so that I can call you for everybody is ready to recieve and see you as all instruments are already in place.

thanks,
Engr.Christian Mekas.



Now I'm hungry...and my hotel is far, far from the airport.

I am at the hotel now. I am in room 222 and am awaiting your arrival. Please come as soon as you get this message and bring the girls and some pop tarts. Strawberry frosted.

I gave you the name and number of the hotel already, bunghole.

Dr. Ben Dover


A week passes without any more contact from dearest Christian. Hopefully the women he brought with him beat his ass silly and he gave up on trying to find me.

I'm still waiting at the hotel for you. Do you intend to show up or not?


After I sent that, I never heard from him again. I take that as a "no". All in all, a very enjoyable month-long dangle. Cheers all.
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BubbyWubbyShmoopsiePoops
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 09 Mar 2007
Posts: 4
Location: Earth


PostPosted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 6:16 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

ROFLOLOL!!!! I love the "Gay Boy For hire" and shouting Ben Dover Over and Over!!

Great work! Surprised Surprised
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Rev. Ben Dover
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 13 Mar 2007
Posts: 30


PostPosted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 1:04 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks mate! It really is amazing what kind of nonsense they put up with is, isn't it? lol!

_________________
NOW YOU ARE ADDING 2 GIRLS TO 10 GIRLS MAKING IT 12 WHICH IS CONTRARY TO OUR AGREEMENT AND TELLING ME WITH THE GIRLS TO CARRY SIGN WRITTEN GAY BOYS FOR HIRE AND AT THE SAME TIME BE SHOUTING YOUR NAME BEN DOVER OVER AND OVER. - Christian Mekas

BEN DOVER, MY NAMES ARE DAVID DUKE AND NOT MR ENEMA. - David Duke

W.

I AM SENDING THIS MESSAGE WHICH I AM SURE YOU WILL RECEIVE LIKE OTHERS TO FURTHER TEST YOUR FAITH IN HOLY MACKEREL. - Christian Mekas
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johnm
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 26 Mar 2007
Posts: 13


PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2007 7:50 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!...... Dear boy....that nearly killed me man......ha ha Laughing
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Rev. Ben Dover
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 13 Mar 2007
Posts: 30


PostPosted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 6:28 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks mate! It was a fun bait, that's for sure....with ridiculous trophy pic to boot! I'm working on a guy who's started calling me "Daddy" lately.... wtf. Cheers!

_________________
NOW YOU ARE ADDING 2 GIRLS TO 10 GIRLS MAKING IT 12 WHICH IS CONTRARY TO OUR AGREEMENT AND TELLING ME WITH THE GIRLS TO CARRY SIGN WRITTEN GAY BOYS FOR HIRE AND AT THE SAME TIME BE SHOUTING YOUR NAME BEN DOVER OVER AND OVER. - Christian Mekas

BEN DOVER, MY NAMES ARE DAVID DUKE AND NOT MR ENEMA. - David Duke

W.

I AM SENDING THIS MESSAGE WHICH I AM SURE YOU WILL RECEIVE LIKE OTHERS TO FURTHER TEST YOUR FAITH IN HOLY MACKEREL. - Christian Mekas
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icrighthruU
*** BANNED ***


Joined: 08 Apr 2007
Posts: 358
Location: Over the river and through the woods


PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 5:06 am Reply with quoteBack to top

running to the potty with tears in my eyes
That one had me leaking from both ends!
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teedot
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 14 Apr 2007
Posts: 27


PostPosted: Sun Apr 15, 2007 9:38 am Reply with quoteBack to top

HAHAHA look at the silly barstool holding that fish LOL

Nice work Laughing Laughing Laughing
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