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 I'm being stalked by Nigerian fishermen

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GomerPyle
Baiting Guru


Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 8875
Location: Wherever I lay my hat


PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 6:48 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The immortal phrase - "I don't believe it" comes to mind.

When I first got these Nigerian fish scam mails I licked my lips in anticipation at the potential for high hilarity but they always bombed out. The first one I had involved transporting fish to the UK by speedboat. I actually ignored the last one, that appeared to involve shooting fish in the water - but now I'm getting angry.

Well lo and behold I get another one in my catcher inbox

Quote:

MY NAME IS C***** J. N****, I CAME ACROSS YOUR EMAIL IN A FISHING SITE ( like yeah Rolling Eyes), AND I AM CONTACTING YOU TO KNOW IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A HELPER WHO WILL HELP YOU IN YOUR FISHING JOB, OR IF YOU KNOW OF ANY BODY, COMPANY THAT IS LOOKING FOR WORKERS


You're gonna love the North Sea in a Souwester and Gumboots in a force nine gale with me pushing your head underwater Twisted Evil

Quote:
I LOVE TO WORK IN A FISHING BOAT BECAUSE OF MY HOBBIES ARE TRAVELING MEETING PEOPLE, MAKING FRIENDS AND FISHING, AND I KNOW WHEN I WORK IN A FISHING BOAT I WILL BE ABLE TO TRAVEL AND MEET PEOPLE AND AS WELL MAKE GOOD FRIENDS DO MY FISHING TOO, AND AGAIN I HAVE ALWAYS LIKED TO WORK ON THE SEA


It is so stupid it almost sounds real - but I don't care - I have had it with these fish baits. This is his CV Shocked

Quote:
EDUCATION: BASIC EDUCATION, FIRST SCHOOL LEAVING CERTIFICATE, REGIONAL
MARITIME ACADEMY ACCRA GHANA, CERTIFICATE OF TRAINING PERSONAL SURVIVAL
TECHNIQUES, CERTIFICATE OF TRAINING ELEMENTARY FIRST AID, CERTIFICATE OF
TRAINING FIRE PREVENTION AND FIRE FIGHTING, CERTIFICATE OF TRAINING
PERSONAL SAFETY AND SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITIES.
LANGUAGES: ENGLISH


I'm going in - cover me. Cool

_________________
Fake sites killed 1 x Australia 9 x United Kingdom 3 x 168 X Closed lad accounts Easter Egg 2011
Pith Helmet - the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
Pith Helmet - Steve - Lagos to Accra
Pith Helmet - Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
Pith Helmet - Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning
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hugh_ben_pond
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 27 Mar 2007
Posts: 36
Location: Seattle


PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:14 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

huh? whats the [email protected] here?...they're responding to your fishing ad for what? Sorry, I'm a little slow

_________________
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Obi-Wan Knievel
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Joined: 10 Dec 2006
Posts: 1486
Location: Bald Knob, NF


PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:24 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Are you sure it's a scam? You wouldn't (well maybe you would) believe some of the resumes I've seen.

Forgive the newbie, but what's a fish scam? For some reason, I'm picturing an e-mail with a picture of the Little Mermaid and the text "send 500 by western union or the fish gets it" but that can't be it.
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Luther Blissett
Elite Baiter


Joined: 06 Sep 2005
Posts: 1029
Location: Watford, Middle East


PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

GomerPyle wrote:
I don't care - I have had it with these fish baits.


For some reason, this cracked me up Laughing Yeah, I know... Easily amused, that's me...

Isn't there a member here called ol'fishbaiting?

I had a fish bait last year - it was pretty good fun, but the last email you received just takes the propper kipper Wink

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GomerPyle
Baiting Guru


Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 8875
Location: Wherever I lay my hat


PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

It came into my scam e-mail catcher account. It has only been posted in guest books that scammers use to find victims.

I don't recall posting in a 'fishing' guest book but I have certainly never advertised for fishermen - I'm not like that Wink

His CV continues

Quote:
COMPUTER SKILLS: GOOD IN SEARCHING. (I bet Rolling Eyes )

I WILL BE HUMBLY HONOURED IF MY REQUEST IS GRANTED.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR READING MY C.V AND UNDERSTANDING. HAVE A NICE DAY
AND GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR GTREAT COMPANY..


What company ? Not all scam mails are immediately obvious as to whay they want. I'm cynical.

The bait begins because I didn't invite him into my inbox - what happens after that depends on how he behaves. If I ever get an inkling he is a sad and stupid person trying to get a job using guest books, I'll drop him like a stone.

_________________
Fake sites killed 1 x Australia 9 x United Kingdom 3 x 168 X Closed lad accounts Easter Egg 2011
Pith Helmet - the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
Pith Helmet - Steve - Lagos to Accra
Pith Helmet - Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
Pith Helmet - Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning
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Prolix
Master Baiter


Joined: 05 Apr 2007
Posts: 209
Location: Ain't no bait like a topless bait


PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:36 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

This sounds like bait to me.

>rim shot<

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Pastor Frank
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Joined: 31 Jan 2007
Posts: 11580
Location: EN34ix


PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
FIRST SCHOOL LEAVING CERTIFICATE


I had one of those as well... My parents had to sign it in order for me to join the Army while underage. Wink

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rumbero
Baiting Guru


Joined: 06 Jun 2006
Posts: 3677
Location: All the Salsa Night Clubs


PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Laughing Laughing Make sure you aske the mugu if he has any experience in catching word fish Laughing

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Pith Helmet Lagos to Tamale. Rev. Frank Pith Helmet Lagos to Abuja
Pith Helmet Pith Helmet Lagos to Abuja Pr1nc3 [email protected]@z
Pith Helmet Ghana to Benin's Simba Camp Joe [email protected]
Pith Helmet Lagos to Ghana Opus Dei Templar
Pith Helmet Nukuru to Mombasa 1,500 kms van donation
Pith Helmet Co bait with SlowFreddy Sao Tome island to Gabon Pith Helmet Lagos to Abuja Co, donation
YOUR WIFE WILL GIVE BIRTH TO A MONKEY, YOU ARE GOING TO SUFFER FROM EPILEPTIC,
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I bet u , soon , u will be laying in a close casket ,
will make u understand that i'm a spiritual man (Makinwa the retarded mugu)
in juses name u will dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
( Makinwa)
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Les Noise
Elite Baiter


Joined: 06 Mar 2006
Posts: 1098
Location: Behind the fridge


PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:45 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Obviously this guy knows nothing about commercial fishing... Laughing

Meet friends and travel and do my fishing too.. LOL

What about the twenty hour shifts. Laughing

_________________
..................................................................
FUCK YOU AND UR PAYMENT I GUSS YOU ARE A BIG FOOL
GO FUCK UR MAMA PUSSY SHIT
..................................................................
I believe when you received your payout you will compensate me.... .. Sure Will..

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GeorgJ
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 09 Apr 2007
Posts: 21


PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 8:44 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Does he like fireside cuddling and walks in the country as well?
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GomerPyle
Baiting Guru


Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 8875
Location: Wherever I lay my hat


PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 11:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I called my boat the - sounds like a burger bar.
A fine sturdy vessel - no need for him to worry at all.

Image

He has also been warned about all the forms he'll have to complete, but as I have always been jilted by these idiots I won't set anything up until he replies.

_________________
Fake sites killed 1 x Australia 9 x United Kingdom 3 x 168 X Closed lad accounts Easter Egg 2011
Pith Helmet - the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
Pith Helmet - Steve - Lagos to Accra
Pith Helmet - Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
Pith Helmet - Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning
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Pastor Frank
Moderator


Joined: 31 Jan 2007
Posts: 11580
Location: EN34ix


PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 11:52 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

That ship looks yar. Get the lads on board and and set her to sea.

_________________
"Father Juan are sure that you are man of God,because your behaviors showed you as unbeliever" -Mary R
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HugginsDUI
Master Baiter


Joined: 09 Feb 2007
Posts: 101


PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 11:58 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Sea safari anyone? There are quite a few islands off of Africa...
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Les Noise
Elite Baiter


Joined: 06 Mar 2006
Posts: 1098
Location: Behind the fridge


PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 1:15 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Tell him he's going here...

http://dsc.discovery.com/beyond/index.html?playerId=203711706&categoryId=210013710&lineupId=716053083

_________________
..................................................................
FUCK YOU AND UR PAYMENT I GUSS YOU ARE A BIG FOOL
GO FUCK UR MAMA PUSSY SHIT
..................................................................
I believe when you received your payout you will compensate me.... .. Sure Will..

Jolly Roger

pony pony pony Mortar x11
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Rocio Loon
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 10
Location: In the LALALA Land


PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 1:49 am Reply with quoteBack to top

That video made me hungry!
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capt_kipper
Master Baiter


Joined: 14 May 2006
Posts: 139


PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 2:03 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Goodluck, and you'd better make sure that he passes the interviews set by Captain Birdseye. He'll only allow the finest cuts of fish at his table.

_________________
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GomerPyle
Baiting Guru


Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 8875
Location: Wherever I lay my hat


PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 4:04 am Reply with quoteBack to top

A great site Les - though I like this clip best

http://dsc.discovery.com/beyond/index.html?playerId=203711706&categoryId=210013710&lineupId=716053083

If he notices the ship's name I'll tell him it's the sister ship

_________________
Fake sites killed 1 x Australia 9 x United Kingdom 3 x 168 X Closed lad accounts Easter Egg 2011
Pith Helmet - the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
Pith Helmet - Steve - Lagos to Accra
Pith Helmet - Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
Pith Helmet - Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning
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Raoul Duke
419Eater is my life


Joined: 31 May 2006
Posts: 383
Location: Bat Country, Kingdom of Fear


PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 7:55 am Reply with quoteBack to top

GomerPyle wrote:
I called my boat the - sounds like a burger bar.


There used to be a chain of Happy Eater roadside restaraunts when I was a kid...

Gomer, he'll have to complete the RFA (Royal Fishing Association) basic tests such as man overboard drill in full wetweather gear (oilies) and steelcapped boots, and provide the required video evidence. New EU regs, honest...

_________________
"FUCK YOU AND YOUR FUCKING MINISTRY.I DID NOT ASK YOU FOR MONEY I ASK YOU TO RECEIVE MONEY. SEND YOUR MONEY TO THE ABURIJANS"
"The walking sticks is a sign of prince hood. I am not blind."
".Take my word. I just got back from Luton Specialists Hospital. I shall return within the week for brain surgery. I am attaching my picture for your viewing. I unanimously contacted you because I want this money to be used as charity.
"I know little about cheese but you know here we do not put much emphasis on it..
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Inspector Gadget
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Joined: 20 Feb 2007
Posts: 6195
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 8:39 am Reply with quoteBack to top

If nothing else you can get a copy of each of his certificates.
Does he realise just where your fishing boat is located?
This has the makings of a biggie, good luck.

_________________
Easter 2015 x2 Pith Helmet Co bait with Rumbero Sao Tome island to Gabon van donation
Pith Helmet Co bait with Jayhawk and VJD. Stanley's bottle tour Aba to Lagos
Pith Helmet Pith Helmet Team Hector, airport in installments and St Louis to Kayes
Pith Helmet Halil, Cotonou to Accra
Pith Helmet + Sand Timer Precious 10/08/11
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Wright B Hindyou
Elite Baiter


Joined: 11 May 2004
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Location: Bangkok


PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 8:54 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I still can't sea who he's trying to net with this scam. Or is he just trolling? Could just be a red herring. If not, we could get together and try to hook him with a grouper bait.

_________________
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Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 15087
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 1:33 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I can't believe what I'm herring - another load of fish puns? It's enough to make me feel eel.

_________________
I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

"I aim to misbehave."

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justjay
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 1:50 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Les Noise wrote:
Obviously this guy knows nothing about commercial fishing... Laughing ...


Or the "short trips" of; leave before sunrise and return after sunrise...the next day Smile

edit)@GP - has he got a seamanship certificate? AB or ABS or somesuch
dont know what they're actually called (able bodied seaman or such)(I was in USN not merchant sevices) Smile

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Raoul Duke
419Eater is my life


Joined: 31 May 2006
Posts: 383
Location: Bat Country, Kingdom of Fear


PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 2:17 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

yastreb wrote:
I can't believe what I'm herring - another load of fish puns? It's enough to make me feel eel.


Indeed, this isn't the plaice to carp about things

_________________
"FUCK YOU AND YOUR FUCKING MINISTRY.I DID NOT ASK YOU FOR MONEY I ASK YOU TO RECEIVE MONEY. SEND YOUR MONEY TO THE ABURIJANS"
"The walking sticks is a sign of prince hood. I am not blind."
".Take my word. I just got back from Luton Specialists Hospital. I shall return within the week for brain surgery. I am attaching my picture for your viewing. I unanimously contacted you because I want this money to be used as charity.
"I know little about cheese but you know here we do not put much emphasis on it..
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HitchHiker
Baiting Guru


Joined: 12 Jan 2007
Posts: 3453
Location: On a mission to insult every member of Eater.


PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 2:20 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

And think of the fun you could have teaching him the phonetic alphabet.

You would need to make up the most rediculous words and then test him on it so that he could get his Radio Licsence (after more forms to fill out).
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Inspector Gadget
Angel of unrealistic meetings


Joined: 20 Feb 2007
Posts: 6195
Location: Trumpton


PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 2:24 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Commercial Fishing Licensing must be run by one of us :
lad form heaven
18 forms to choose from.
Ahh hell, get him to fill the lot in.

_________________
Easter 2015 x2 Pith Helmet Co bait with Rumbero Sao Tome island to Gabon van donation
Pith Helmet Co bait with Jayhawk and VJD. Stanley's bottle tour Aba to Lagos
Pith Helmet Pith Helmet Team Hector, airport in installments and St Louis to Kayes
Pith Helmet Halil, Cotonou to Accra
Pith Helmet + Sand Timer Precious 10/08/11
Cellphone x8 Nigeria Spain Mortar x34 Closed lad accounts x 73 Goat
grown up man like him, still doing all this shit games - Stanley, (he doesn't like Parcel Direct)
You again do the strange reflections stuffed with drugs? - Natalia
Sand Timer x3 Hector 24/1/13 Sand Timer Moses 15th Oct 2011
Pretty Rose Sand Timer x 2Mick Ole 11th Sept 2014-16 Sand Timer Asare Akuffo start 4th Aug 2014
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