"Shrine" spell still effecting my judgement

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Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2007 4:50 am

My dismissed barrister is still after his retainer fees.
I refused to pay.
He visited the "shrine" and had the "evil" spirits invade my soul.
I have been very helpful ever since.

After 1 WU, and 2 bank account transfers that got messed up...I chopped a MG receipt but the 4th attempt a payment has gone horribly wrong.

Quote:

Dear HXXXX,

I wonder why you reason as if i do not know my left or right . Please why did you sent the money to in Lome Togo? Please get it sent to Nigeria, Nigeria, Nigeria, Nigeria, Nigeria, Nigeria, Nigeria, Nigeria, Nigeria, Nigeria and let it be in NIGERIA!

My Lad is now resorting to "subliminally" planting the correct info in my head via e-mail. He wants to know WHY?

Damn those evil spirits.... Shocked

Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2007 1:09 pm

After I explained to my Lad that the spirits were instructed me to send the money to Togo I received this...

Quote:

YOU ARE A SHIT .DING

YOU NEVER KNEW WHAT YOU ARE DOING IDIOT TILL YOUR HEAD IS GROUNDED. TOMORROW THE NIGERIA GODS WILL BE TOLD TO SEEK WHITE PEOPLE TO EAT COS YOU PEOPLE HAS COUSED US PAINS CAPITALISING ON OUR ECONOMY MONKEY WOMAN YOU SMELL UR ASS SOON AND DIE LIKE RAT WAIT THERE . YOU WILL BE WHITE MEAT FOR THE GODS TO EAT.

Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2007 1:11 pm

Quote:

SHIT .DING

He is using a typewriter? that's the end of line bell!

At least he's made a contribution to the siggy line fund.

Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2007 1:26 pm

slowfreddie wrote:

He is using a typewriter? that's the end of line bell!

No I believe that's the noise produced when lad's brain switches to berserk mode and he starts uttering nonsense, all caps of course.

Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2007 1:56 pm

Tell him you have no fear of his weak and petty magic.

Say that a strange Afro-Carribean lady came up to you in the street, spoke truths that no normal person would know and offered her services to you.

Your new friend is a hereditary Obeah woman, a powerful witch who knows both the old and the new magic.

Say that she has formed a shuman in the mugu's name and has called upon the four winds to carry forth a message to Sasabonsum, that the witch might take the mugu's shadow and place it in a box and nail it to the ceiba silk-cotton tree

Tell him, that the witch has threatened to cast spells daily to weaken the Mugu, until he becomes a rotting maggot infested living corpse, unless he mends his ways.

If he refuses, then first she will shrink his manhood, as it amuses her.

Mention that her Obeah magic is especially powerful on Good Friday.

Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2007 3:10 pm

Quote:

MONKEY WOMAN YOU SMELL UR ASS SOON

How did he know I was going to do that?

He must be psychic.

Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2007 3:14 pm

Thanks @raoul...

I replied with this...

Quote:

Just to be sure...
I have no fear of your weak and petty magic.
I have hired the services of a hereditary Obeah woman, a powerful witch who knows both the old and the new magic. She is from Haiti.

She has formed a Shuman in the name of John Ola and has called upon the four winds to carry forth a message to Sasabonsum. That message will take the shadow of John Ola and place it in a box and nail it to the ceiba silk-cotton tree.

My witch will cast spells daily to weaken John Ola, until he becomes a rotting maggot infested living corpse. At first she will shrink John Ola's manhood, as it amuses her.

Her Obeah magic is especially powerful on Easter Sunday.

This silly Ministry I work for pays me nothing. I transferred THE MINISTRY MONEY to Togo knowing that while your shadow is nailed to the ceiba silk-cotton tree, you will be unable to collect the $8,000 from Togo. The MG transfer will expire and the $8000 will be returned. I will tell the Ministry YOU COLLECTED THE MONEY. I will thus gain $8000 of Ministry money for myself and go on a shopping spree protected by my Obeah woman.

Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2007 3:22 pm

Quote:

WOMAN YOU SMELL UR ASS SOON AND DIE LIKE RAT WAIT THERE

Do they have Newcastle Brown ale, mushy peas and faggots (the English culinary meaning http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faggot_%28food%29) there ?

I know the feeling Laughing

Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2007 7:21 pm

Ah, Brains Faggots..."you wished you tried them year's ago"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9y136zBVjBg

Oh the hilarity as schoolboys, the length and breadth of the UK, re-arranged the words of this commercial when it aired in the 80's...

Well, we didn't have the internet... Confused

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