Am I as safe as I think I am?

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 12:11 am

Hi Folks,

About 15 years ago in another country I fell victim to an abusive and violent husband and wife couple. He has committed numerous offences and she is complicit every time they are brought to her attention. This charming couple probably hate me most of all their victims because I stood up to them with such determination.

I healed a long time ago. I�ve moved house, 250 miles from where I used to live, rebuilt my life, and these days I�m a very happy person. However this man is still out there, offending again and again against a string of victims. Why should he sleep easy at night?

Instead of getting mad I can operate subtly with a smile on my face. Of course I didn�t *have* to bait this monster after all this time! However I had an idea. It�s been six or seven years since they last heard anything from me, so I hid my true ID and used a fresh web-based email address to drop a little email in their direction.

Oh the rage and fury with which the monster has responded! I haven�t had time to do anything about it, but when I check this email address, he keeps writing back getting madder and madder because he�s had no reply! These days I just laugh at him! I could have so much fun baiting him because I can stay cool and subtle while he is exploding with rage! Very Happy

Although he�s a foreigner he does have a presence in the UK because the violent wife is English and he works here in the summer, in the Lake District, a long way from my new home. Before I have any more fun with him, I thought I better check out my safety. If adopting a new ID worked, he thinks I�m one of his many other victims, and doesn�t know which one, yet I have a feeling he may have forgotten my name but not the way I stood up to him. Confused

I definitely haven�t left my new address with anyone who might give it to him. I�m not even sure he knew my old address, but when you move house, numerous companies and authorities need to know where you are going. Am I right in thinking that all information of this kind is protected by the Data Protection Act?

I searched for myself in Google. I was not please that a couple of letters I had published in newspapers included the name of the village where I live, but, on the other hand, look how many namesakes I have out there! I think only I know which Google entries refer to me, and which to someone else.

I�ve used 192.com to find people, but I think it worked because they were in the phone book. I am ex-directory and when I searched for myself at that time I was much harder to find.

So it is safe to enjoy baiting him, please?

Thanks a lot! Smile

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

I would say, let sleeping dogs lie.

He will definitely remember your name, and as you were the one who stood up to him, he might think it likely that it's you taunting him again, whilst he will still remember your name, he has probably forgotten about you, why take a chance to stir things up if there is a chance he can trace you to your village using Google.

Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 12:52 am

I think you have to make a distinction between what we do here baiting more or less anonymous internet scammers and conducting a personal vendetta against someone who caused you so much suffering. If this man is as dangerous as you say then I'd suggest that any kind of provocation or tormenting, no matter how satisfying, is asking for trouble because if he was absolutely determined I suspect he could trace you quite easily. You have said that you have managed to put all this behind you now. Why take the risk?

Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 1:03 am

On the other hand perhaps we could bait him and show you the results - just let us know how to get him on the hook.. Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 1:14 am

I'd say drop it. If this guy knows your name, then it's feasible he could get your address. He might not know how to trace you but he might employ someone who could (believe me it's possible to trace someone with very little info, especially if you have a few of the right sort of contacts).

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 19 Apr 2007 Posts: 10

Although I'm new to scambaiting, my instintive reaction is that if any of us intentionally go baiting this guy, there's a chance that he may assume that we are Xanadu2 and repercussions may still occur.

If we're inadvertantly contacted by him, so be it, but I'd rather not risk any deliberate aggravation, for Xanadu's sake.

Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 1:42 pm

I'm a bit surprised no one has mentioned the possible danger to this person's other victims.

I would say drop it. Not just because you're endangering yourself, but because you're endangering others. You just said this person has a lot of victims. Have you given any thought to the fact that you may be endangering them? Particularly ones who may have no option to pick up and move hundreds of miles away where they're reasonably safe?

Xanadu2 wrote:

If adopting a new ID worked, he thinks I�m one of his many other victims, and doesn�t know which one, yet I have a feeling he may have forgotten my name but not the way I stood up to him. Confused

So... what happens if he leaps to the wrong conclusion that it's one of his other victims who is not so well hidden and goes after them instead? Are you going to email anonymously and say "Oops. Sorry about that."?

Quote:

So it is safe to enjoy baiting him, please?

I'll put it this way. If I were one of his other victims, and he decided I was the one taunting him, not you, and did something incredibly violent/stupid/inadvisable to me or someone in my family, I would NOT. BE. A. HAPPY. CAMPER.

I would especially not be a happy camper with you, if I found out you deliberately riled up someone you insist on calling a "monster", provoked him, and he went off in my direction. And for what purpose? Some idea of "revenge" from your nice, safe 250-mile distance?

Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 9:47 pm

Quote:

Although he�s a foreigner he does have a presence in the UK because the violent wife is English and he works here in the summer, in the Lake District, a long way from my new home.

Bowness? Be glad you got out and stay out.

Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 10:46 pm

mrsbean wrote:

I'm a bit surprised no one has mentioned the possible danger to this person's other victims.

I would say drop it. Not just because you're endangering yourself, but because you're endangering others.

Thanks a lot, folks! I�ve taken everything you said on board. And yes, after I�d seen the guy�s emails late at night and written my post late, I did wonder if he was confused about who exactly was emailing him and if he would pick on the wrong person!

I have another thought, but it�s getting late.

Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 1:13 am

Please clarify. Is this guy a scammer or just a violent psycho? In both cases our advice is pretty clear. Walk away.

Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 1:53 am

Mrs. Bean spoke a lot of what I was thinking. He may take his anger out on someone else. I wouldn't want that on my conscience.

The other thought I had is that it may become increasingly more difficult for you to keep from dropping some hints to him as to who you are. You probably would not do this intentionally, but he will be looking for clues as to your identity.

I am concerned that you will lose your fear of this person and get over confident in your attempt to get even. That could lead to disastrous results for you.

You got away from him once. As someone above said, walk away again! The thrill is not worth the risk.

Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 6:05 am

I think Mrs Bean has hit the nail on the head. If he is as psychotic as you say, then he will retaliate against someone. Might not even be one of his previous victims, he could find himself a new one.

Pain and anger can be pretty hard to let go of. The fact that you want to hurt and anger this bloke shows that you haven't really gotten over it. The anger cools down and you start to think methodically how you can kick the bastard in the balls and really hurt them. You've done a bit of research on this bloke. That isn't getting over it.

Drop it, move on. Very difficult to do, but move on and leave well alone.

Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 7:47 am

Think of it this way,

You are alive, safe and happy, if you want to stay that way then leave it alone, let it go.

All the advice here given to you is 100% good solid advice so for your sake and the sake of the other victims, walk away.

Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 7:17 pm

[quote="Dark Spirit"]Think of it this way,

You are alive, safe and happy, if you want to stay that way then leave it alone, let it go.

All the advice here given to you is 100% good solid advice so for your sake and the sake of the other victims, walk away.[/quote]

I'm listening. I've had a heavy day thinking about it and a good day not thinking about it. I think I should add more tomorrow.

BTW, Mrs Bean's point occurred to me as I closed down my computer late at night (not my best time) BEFORE I saw the response!

Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 7:41 pm

This site is about baiting scammers who are beyond the reach of the law, and therefore not subject to more conventional legal remedies. We do not get involved here with actions against obnoxious neighbors, personal enemies, former lovers, local merchants we think have done us wrong, etc. etc.

Reason one is, when those people are within the reach of the law, then the law is source to which you should look for a remedy. If the law does not provide a remedy, then it's something for which socieity has decided you should let sleeping dogs lie.

Reason two is, it takes us too quickly down a slippery slope of people using the methods we describe here inappropriately, against people who may not deserve it.

I am not saying you are wrong to plot against this person. I'm just saying do not discuss it here.

Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 10:23 pm

I retract my previous post - damned if I could find a delete button - and suggest this:

All the advice above is good advice. This site is for people who are not only out of reach of the law, by and large, but us as well. Furthermore the most violent they are likely to get is smashing a computer in frustration.

If your guy is as violent as you say then baiting him is only going to cause suffering for you or someone else, no matter whether it is you or us baiting him. Some people just need to be left alone.

But you said the answer yourself:

Quote:

I've had a heavy day thinking about it and a good day not thinking about it

Continue to have good days and let time heal the wounds. Good luck.

Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 7:52 pm

[quote="SamV"]
I am not saying you are wrong to plot against this person. I'm just saying do not discuss it here.[/quote]

To SamV the moderator, and everyone else,

I respect your opinions greatly and hope the following clarification is acceptable.

I would like to thank you all very much for taking the time to read this thread and respond. As I said, I do respect all your opinions! The full story is very long (don�t worry � I�m not going to tell it all!) Since it means that I cannot possibly include everything, for every point I mentioned, I had to omit a lot of others.

Firstly, all my past activities against this man have been geared towards justice and human rights, with the well-being of his potential victims in mind. I have no intention of departing from these ideals.

This thread has triggered memories I had forgotten. I was frequently urged to move on, forget the issue, do something else, etc, but that advice merely led to me stifling unwanted thoughts until they rose up and choked me. For years I could not last out more than a week before some chance thought triggered everything into walloping back and overwhelming me! That could only lead to non-recovery, and worse. I�ve been suspicious of such advice ever since. Yes, it can work, but you have to weigh the circumstances.

The way out was though activism, which was distinctly scary. This thread duplicates the warnings I received at that time, reminding me too strongly of alternating terror and despair. I was accused then of having dark vengeful motives. That is why I had a heavy day thinking about it. Yet at that time I had to take risks in order to recover.

What actually happened? His wife hit me, but she�s not strong enough to do physical damage. He did � nothing!

I not only healed, but my activities came to the attention of the organisers of an international conference who invited me to give a presentation on my activism. So eager were they to have me there that they sponsored my trip. That conference became one gigantic celebration of recovery! So I learn with surprise that I have apparently never really recovered.

SamV, you mentioned that the justice system takes care of illegal stuff and you have to live quietly with the rest. However, corruption can enter this equation. The man�s threats do focus on what he�d do if I returned to his country. Police there know nothing about human rights, except when it suits them to make appropriate noises, but are forever on the lookout for a bribe. He is perceived by them to be rich; hence any bribes he has to pay are huge.

Although I celebrated recovery I still find it sick that he is deliberately left in a position where he can continue to victimise the innocent in order for police and other authorities to make money out of the situation. (Yes, life in the Third World!) So you see why I sometimes think about him.

On the other hand, bribery confers a certain measure of safety. He can certainly fantasise about violence, but can he really afford to put all his ideas into practice, knowing how much money it can cost him? I believe he walks a fine line.

Yet in this country I was told in the past that he feels less capable and confident than in his own. I know - reiteration of warnings! I no longer have to take the risks that were necessary in the past.

Being a morning person, I usually wait until the following morning before deciding on any course of action. Then I have all my best ideas. In this case I saw his emails late at night and uncharacteristically wrote my post there and then, instead of waiting to see what sprang to mind next day.

Now I regret that post. Thank you all once again for reading and responding, and for making it to the end of this post too.

Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 7:59 pm

@Xanadu2 - After reading that ^^^ I am relieved and happy to say "Not the same person at all!"
Very Happy

Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 2:53 pm

If you sent him one simple email and he exploded, chances are the guy is paranoid to hell anyway. People tend to dig themselves into very big holes and then have to continue digging to scare people away from filling in the hole above them.

From what you have the, this guy has victimised enough people that he will probably never rest easy, especially as he grows older and frailer. I understand that you felt like hitting back, thats human reaction, but people like that generally build their own downfall without any interference from others.

old saying: what goes around, comes around...

Somebody in a much better place and position will eventually overthrow him and treat him like he has others. Its hard to do, but I think leaving well alone is the best choice you made.

Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 6:19 pm

[quote="zombie"]If you sent him one simple email and he exploded, chances are the guy is paranoid to hell anyway. People tend to dig themselves into very big holes and then have to continue digging to scare people away from filling in the hole above them.

From what you have the, this guy has victimised enough people that he will probably never rest easy, especially as he grows older and frailer. I understand that you felt like hitting back, thats human reaction, but people like that generally build their own downfall without any interference from others.

old saying: what goes around, comes around...

Somebody in a much better place and position will eventually overthrow him and treat him like he has others. Its hard to do, but I think leaving well alone is the best choice you made.[/quote]

Yes, one simple little email because corrupt authorities don't do the decent thing! That's all!

Yes, he deserves to build his own downfall! What goes around. comes around, indeed!

Am I as safe as I think I am?	View next topic View previous topic