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 What to do with the seamugu next?

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Poll :: What should I do with the seamugu?

Leave him alone, he's suffered enough
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
McDuck him (ITV5)
15%
 15%  [ 13 ]
Roadtrip
42%
 42%  [ 35 ]
'Proof of Pennace / Purity' photo
10%
 10%  [ 9 ]
Something he hasn't tried yet
31%
 31%  [ 26 ]
Total Votes : 83


Author Message
Roycropper
Undead Moderator


Joined: 14 Nov 2005
Posts: 7993
Location: Luxury Coffin


PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 10:33 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Remember the Seamugu? Austine stood in a bucket in a river with a sign, he got the world's largest tattoo, got arrested for shouting at 'Hallelujagobble' at passing ships in Lagos harbour, then went on a roadtrip to Ghana, to become robbed by angry taxi drivers and meet Jojo's lad Kevin. Search 'seamugu' for enlightenment if you never saw a tattoo you can see from the moon before.

We keep in touch, Dr Winst0n Cup dangles money before him from time to time, if only he will travel to the P3dal Institute in W4wa, Nigeria which he sponsors.

Dr Cup heard from him this morning, he sends a photo, first time Ive seen him without his tattoo, or stood in a bucket.

Image

Austine always pleads poverty, but Sister Anna Lynne J3ction who got him to roadtrip to Ghana and sleep rough for a few days, was suprised to find this in her email today:

Quote:
i still get my faith

DEAR SISTER,
i know it will surprise you upon after how the church treated me in ghana.honestly my sister i'm very much happy to declear my faith once again but i want you to do me a favour,pls try convince the church to compasate me with any funds from their decision pls.

BROTHER AUSTINE.

HALLELUJAGOBBLE


What should I do with him next? I dont think he's tried ITV5, and certainly has never met a security cucumber. On the other hand, there are still places he hasn't visited yet, and he sends me entertaining tales of woe.

I never did get him to the hippo sanctuary in NW Ghana, he was on his way there lat time when he got stranded in Accra. Maybe I should 'find' an envelope full of money with his name on it in the Mission safe.

Before you feel too sorry for him, he is trying to scam Dr Cup out of $20,000 for a plot of land, using a different name, but I know its him. Ive asked for photos and documents.

_________________
the European Union has bounced on our freckles
COULD YOU IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I WENT TO THE BANK
our Agent is Completely broke, pocketless and stranded
I WLL SEND AN AFRICA WITCH TO ATTACH YOU BASTARD
You go die like bird
i started shouting HALLELUJAGOBBLE but none of them notice me immediately police arrested me due to the shouting
f*ck u asshole ur damn mother will loose ur fcuking skull brain ur brain is nothing to compare with rat f*ck ur u
MY FRIEND ALEX WAS DETAINED IN POLICE STATION
I am not happy due to the question i answered at money office. Let me tell you do not play with me ok.
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Last edited by Roycropper on Fri Mar 23, 2007 11:09 am; edited 1 time in total
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Tommo Shanter
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 10:56 am Reply with quoteBack to top

<br>Why we we ever feel sorry for him?

We just want to feel his pain. Twisted Evil Twisted Evil

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Seven of Nine
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 10:59 am Reply with quoteBack to top

@RC Would he like to become an unwitting agent for Scam Patroller's courier service? The job entails delivering a package to Jenny's loverboi. Or pick one up. Or something like that. Problem is, he needs to go to Accra, somewhere on the Spintex Rd in Sakumono.

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windypops
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 11:17 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Tell him if swims out a bit further he could be in for a big surprise.
Sunken Treasure

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jojobean
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 1:05 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

You know I am voting for a road trip. Let's see where you can get him moving next! A pyramid maybe? Laughing

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callum
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Joined: 29 May 2004
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Location: On the run from the asylum and this seems like a good place to hide. Blend right in...


PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 2:24 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ Yes! A undercover roadtrip to a mugu pyramid to investigate this new cult to determine if they are in opposition to GOBBLERS. As he nears his destination he will have to start interviewing people (have they noticed any strange activity, people, weather etc) and send detailed reports to sister Anne.

Not only will this prove his comittment to GOBBLING but it should provide some entertaining reading too Very Happy

After this trip, if that's the way the poll turns out, he should be made to GOBBLE a cucumber in public.

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jojobean
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 2:53 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Does he know about the gold inside?

Image

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Omar Safari Edo-Abeche T.W.A.T
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Roycropper
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Joined: 14 Nov 2005
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 6:21 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

'Roadtrip' is definitely winning, time to pack your bags again, Austine!

I cant send him to the TWAT pyramid, Benin City isn't far enough away.
Maybe later, the pictures do look tempting. We could always 'locate' the pyramid somewhere he is not. Very Happy

In the meantime. he was asking for 'compasation' after all the church put him through. Sister Anna has money for him, sadly she will be using SP's courier service, who have a habit of impounding undeclared cash and storing it at their depot in Bouake airport, Cote D'Ivoire.


Quote:
Dear Austine,

Hallelujagobble! I am so pleased to hear from you again.

I was wondering about you the other day, there is an envelope in the
safe here, with your name on it, left by Father Hugh J0rgens when he
left for South America.

Do you know anything about it? It is very thick, I think its full of
money. I think he felt bad about your experiences here, and wanted you
to have it.

If you want to come and visit me here in Wechiau you can have it, or
give me an address to send it to, and I will go to Wa, where the
Church has an account with a courier company, and have it sent to you.

I hope you are still keeping the faith, and shouting
'Hallelujagobble!' with all your heart from the rooftops to all who
will listen.

Hallelujagobble!

--
Anna Lynne Jecti0n

_________________
the European Union has bounced on our freckles
COULD YOU IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I WENT TO THE BANK
our Agent is Completely broke, pocketless and stranded
I WLL SEND AN AFRICA WITCH TO ATTACH YOU BASTARD
You go die like bird
i started shouting HALLELUJAGOBBLE but none of them notice me immediately police arrested me due to the shouting
f*ck u asshole ur damn mother will loose ur fcuking skull brain ur brain is nothing to compare with rat f*ck ur u
MY FRIEND ALEX WAS DETAINED IN POLICE STATION
I am not happy due to the question i answered at money office. Let me tell you do not play with me ok.
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Scammerbammer
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Joined: 22 Mar 2007
Posts: 25
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 12:10 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Can he do something with body paint and photo to confirm.

Just thought I asked. Just in the mood! Twisted Evil

_________________
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You are noting but the son of a beach, hell is your place and you can not live you will die after reading this mail you fool. Judgement is already up you all and you will all die suddenly like a dog, there will not be any escape for any one of you that relay in hotting your fellow human. What ever you may do you can not run away from this reason is that you are only a human trying to fright against the anointed child of God, my God (KING JESUS CHRIST) will not let you go unpunished. - Mr.Sol0mon I. [email protected]

Last edited by Scammerbammer on Mon Mar 26, 2007 9:13 pm; edited 1 time in total
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rumbero
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Joined: 06 Jun 2006
Posts: 3677
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 2:07 am Reply with quoteBack to top

You wrote

Quote:
Before you feel too sorry for him, he is trying to scam Dr Cup out of $20,000 for a plot of land, using a different name, but I know its him. Ive asked for photos and documents.


No, I don't feel sorry. He has not proven his faith to any church.


I was going to suggest that if he wants to prove his faith. Have him become
a member of the Opus Dai SS. He will have to perform the ancient ritual Laughing Laughing

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Roycropper
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Joined: 14 Nov 2005
Posts: 7993
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 8:02 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

He's not keen on faith after the hard time Fundaligi0n gave him.

He wants Sister Anna to send the money via Western Union, but she won't open it.

Quote:
I'll see what I can do on Monday, only I will send it as a package
rather than opening it - We work that way because as an ex-gambler I
am not to be trusted with money. What I dont see I wont steal from.

Give me a receiver's address for it and I will send it to you, or at
least a town with a DHL depot.

Hallelujagobble!


What Sister Anna and the seamugu don't know yet, is that the only courier with a franchise in the nearby town, is SP's Mad3up Couriers. What could possibly go wrong? Twisted Evil

_________________
the European Union has bounced on our freckles
COULD YOU IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I WENT TO THE BANK
our Agent is Completely broke, pocketless and stranded
I WLL SEND AN AFRICA WITCH TO ATTACH YOU BASTARD
You go die like bird
i started shouting HALLELUJAGOBBLE but none of them notice me immediately police arrested me due to the shouting
f*ck u asshole ur damn mother will loose ur fcuking skull brain ur brain is nothing to compare with rat f*ck ur u
MY FRIEND ALEX WAS DETAINED IN POLICE STATION
I am not happy due to the question i answered at money office. Let me tell you do not play with me ok.
Pith Helmet 10
x4 United Kingdom New Zealand Mortar Closed lad accounts Sand Timer 6Yrs Tattoo x6 Flying Monkey
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mami
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 18 Feb 2007
Posts: 657
Location: Usman Bello's Ex


PostPosted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 9:37 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Roycropper wrote:
What Sister Anna and the seamugu don't know yet, is that the only courier with a franchise in the nearby town, is SP's Mad3up Couriers. What could possibly go wrong? Twisted Evil


Other than the ship with the merchandise sinking or an airport/harbour official stealing the goods, I see nooooo possibilities for failure. Wink
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AlphonseTheFrog
Master Baiter


Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 173
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 11:03 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
What could possibly go wrong?


[email protected] B4ll0 could show up and try to chop the money. That guy is always on the prowl.

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Ginger Head
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 11:55 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Blimey! Is this lad still looking to suffer some more? Excellent!!!
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Buck Turgidson
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 8:45 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Nice long voyage ashore, then he be walkin' the plank Laughing

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Roycropper
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Joined: 14 Nov 2005
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 4:15 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

we're on at last, paging Mr S. Patroller and his courier service, stand by for a pm.

Quote:
MY SISTER,
i'm in ABAkaLIKI at EBONYI state and my address is xx yyy street abakaliki.asked of EM3KA AUGUST1NE UD0H.
HALLELUJAGOBBLE


I will send an envelope as a package, when it is opened at B0uake airport it will be full of undeclared cash and impounded. Then he will have to come and claim it, he knows the route as far as Accra, the rest of the way will be a whole new experience for him.

_________________
the European Union has bounced on our freckles
COULD YOU IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I WENT TO THE BANK
our Agent is Completely broke, pocketless and stranded
I WLL SEND AN AFRICA WITCH TO ATTACH YOU BASTARD
You go die like bird
i started shouting HALLELUJAGOBBLE but none of them notice me immediately police arrested me due to the shouting
f*ck u asshole ur damn mother will loose ur fcuking skull brain ur brain is nothing to compare with rat f*ck ur u
MY FRIEND ALEX WAS DETAINED IN POLICE STATION
I am not happy due to the question i answered at money office. Let me tell you do not play with me ok.
Pith Helmet 10
x4 United Kingdom New Zealand Mortar Closed lad accounts Sand Timer 6Yrs Tattoo x6 Flying Monkey

Last edited by Roycropper on Tue Mar 27, 2007 5:43 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Scam Patroller
Baiting Guru


Joined: 08 Jul 2004
Posts: 11852
Location: UK


PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 5:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I am going to knock up a tracking page right now, it will show as sent today by special delivery in a secure document wallet, tomorrow, it will be found to contain uninsured money, so collection from will be his only option Twisted Evil

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Roycropper
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Joined: 14 Nov 2005
Posts: 7993
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 5:42 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks, Ive let him know that wheels are in motion, he should be getting very excited jump_4_joy

Quote:
Dear Austine,

I have sent the package via the local courier agents, they will send
you an email with the tracking number, and send me a copy too.

Let me know when you get it, I hope you are well compensated for all
you have gone through.

Hallelujagobble!

Sister Anna


Meanwhile Dr Winst0n Cup is refusing to send him money unless he comes for it:

Quote:

ohh i'm on my knees pls

DR
why are you so hard to me,for God sake do me this favour pls.ok just see me as your own son you will never allow to go hungry.
pls i honestly don't know how to persuade you again besides i even pray for you to understand me and my mama worry so much about your understanding ever since i told her about you.

pls dr winston.

_________________
the European Union has bounced on our freckles
COULD YOU IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I WENT TO THE BANK
our Agent is Completely broke, pocketless and stranded
I WLL SEND AN AFRICA WITCH TO ATTACH YOU BASTARD
You go die like bird
i started shouting HALLELUJAGOBBLE but none of them notice me immediately police arrested me due to the shouting
f*ck u asshole ur damn mother will loose ur fcuking skull brain ur brain is nothing to compare with rat f*ck ur u
MY FRIEND ALEX WAS DETAINED IN POLICE STATION
I am not happy due to the question i answered at money office. Let me tell you do not play with me ok.
Pith Helmet 10
x4 United Kingdom New Zealand Mortar Closed lad accounts Sand Timer 6Yrs Tattoo x6 Flying Monkey
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Scam Patroller
Baiting Guru


Joined: 08 Jul 2004
Posts: 11852
Location: UK


PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 6:05 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^^^ The tracking page is now on the courier site, I have emailed your lad and CC'd it to you, Roy:

Quote:
Dear Sir,

Please find below your tracking number, this relates to a secure document wallet sent to you by, Sister Axxx Lxxxx Jxxxxxx, which has been sent by Express Service today, this is your tracking number:

xxxxxxxxxxxx

You can track your shipment on our courier website located here:

http://www. xxxxxx

Regards,

Cxxxxx Mxxxxx.

_________________
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40x Nigeria 4x South Africa 2x Ghana 2x Benin 10x Ivory Coast 34x United Kingdom 17x United States 9x Spain 1x Belgium 1x 6x European Union 4x Canada 1x New Zealand 6x Netherlands 1x pyramid 23x Cellphone Jolly Roger
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bluerodent
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 24 Mar 2007
Posts: 31


PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 7:41 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I've just had to read the whole story. You guys are so evil Laughing . But Austine has to be the most stupid lad in history.

You should publish this...
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Roycropper
Undead Moderator


Joined: 14 Nov 2005
Posts: 7993
Location: Luxury Coffin


PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2007 6:23 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

/\/\ My wife says that, but she doesn't realize the competition... Very Happy

Just in, the seamugu has learned one thing - dont count your chickens until they're hatched....


Quote:
SISTER ANNA,
yes i've got the mail but still can't show you how much i'm glad till i see the funds

austine

HALLELUJAGOBBLE


This is the tracking info from SP's courier site:

Quote:
Date Activity

Mar 27th 2007 Shipment collected from sender

Mar 27th 2007 Shipment in transit to international hub


Tommorow the manure should hit the fan... Twisted Evil

_________________
the European Union has bounced on our freckles
COULD YOU IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I WENT TO THE BANK
our Agent is Completely broke, pocketless and stranded
I WLL SEND AN AFRICA WITCH TO ATTACH YOU BASTARD
You go die like bird
i started shouting HALLELUJAGOBBLE but none of them notice me immediately police arrested me due to the shouting
f*ck u asshole ur damn mother will loose ur fcuking skull brain ur brain is nothing to compare with rat f*ck ur u
MY FRIEND ALEX WAS DETAINED IN POLICE STATION
I am not happy due to the question i answered at money office. Let me tell you do not play with me ok.
Pith Helmet 10
x4 United Kingdom New Zealand Mortar Closed lad accounts Sand Timer 6Yrs Tattoo x6 Flying Monkey
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Scam Patroller
Baiting Guru


Joined: 08 Jul 2004
Posts: 11852
Location: UK


PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2007 6:53 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

@ Roy, I have just updated the tracking page to show the shipping exception, it now says this:

Quote:
Mar 28th 2007

SHIPMENT EXCEPTION:
Whilst other goods were being offloaded at Airport, Ivory Coast, there was a routine x-ray inspection, during the course of the inspection, the secure document wallet being shipped to you was x-rayed, the document wallet was found to contain money amounting to $20,000 in cash.

As with all shipments, large amounts of money are not allowed to be shipped unless it is shipped in a special security box, because the sender sent money concealed in a secure wallet instead of a security box, that means they have avoided paying the higher fees associated with security boxes, and also avoided paying the higher insurance fees associated with such a large shipment of money, as a result of these problems, the shipment has now been offloaded at Airport, Ivory Coast, and it is now for COLLECTION ONLY by the receiver, Mr Exxxx Axxxxxxxx Uxxx, from Airport, please see the Contact Us link above for our email address, and contact us so that we can give you further information.


Twisted Evil

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Roycropper
Undead Moderator


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2007 7:37 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

LOL, Thanks, Your Excellency.

I have just sent him an email saying he will have the money anytime soon, and to come and see us in wech1au (the hippo sanctuary) when he has the money to travel! Very Happy

We will see if he is clever enough to track a package, or if I have to tell him...

_________________
the European Union has bounced on our freckles
COULD YOU IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I WENT TO THE BANK
our Agent is Completely broke, pocketless and stranded
I WLL SEND AN AFRICA WITCH TO ATTACH YOU BASTARD
You go die like bird
i started shouting HALLELUJAGOBBLE but none of them notice me immediately police arrested me due to the shouting
f*ck u asshole ur damn mother will loose ur fcuking skull brain ur brain is nothing to compare with rat f*ck ur u
MY FRIEND ALEX WAS DETAINED IN POLICE STATION
I am not happy due to the question i answered at money office. Let me tell you do not play with me ok.
Pith Helmet 10
x4 United Kingdom New Zealand Mortar Closed lad accounts Sand Timer 6Yrs Tattoo x6 Flying Monkey
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bluerodent
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 24 Mar 2007
Posts: 31


PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2007 7:58 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Isn't Ivory Coast one of the most dangerous countries in the world? Twisted Evil
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Roycropper
Undead Moderator


Joined: 14 Nov 2005
Posts: 7993
Location: Luxury Coffin


PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2007 2:45 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I'm hoping Austine will explore it for us and report back.

@SP, I dont think he is bright enough to track anything. ITV5 proved to be completely beyond him. Rolling Eyes

Could you mail him an exception report for his package? Thanks.

_________________
the European Union has bounced on our freckles
COULD YOU IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I WENT TO THE BANK
our Agent is Completely broke, pocketless and stranded
I WLL SEND AN AFRICA WITCH TO ATTACH YOU BASTARD
You go die like bird
i started shouting HALLELUJAGOBBLE but none of them notice me immediately police arrested me due to the shouting
f*ck u asshole ur damn mother will loose ur fcuking skull brain ur brain is nothing to compare with rat f*ck ur u
MY FRIEND ALEX WAS DETAINED IN POLICE STATION
I am not happy due to the question i answered at money office. Let me tell you do not play with me ok.
Pith Helmet 10
x4 United Kingdom New Zealand Mortar Closed lad accounts Sand Timer 6Yrs Tattoo x6 Flying Monkey
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