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 Am I baiting Anne Bancroft?

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JMRazor
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Joined: 03 Mar 2006
Posts: 7103
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 7:45 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I got the "I'm dying please help me find a place for my money" scam from a Mrs. . I decided to play it a la "The Graduate" and throw in as many references to the film and its soundtrack as I could**.

Here's my favorite exchange so far:

Me:

Quote:
Where I live in California, we have a saying that comes from the mountain people who lived in the Northern mountains, and I'd like to say it for you: Here's to you Mrs. Robinson, Jesus loves you more than you will know. Coocoocachoo. This part means don't let the evil spirits get you -- so you say "coocoocachoo" to scare them off.


Mrs. Robinson:

Quote:
coocoocachoo!!!! did i say that well? my dear,am so glad i am surounded by somuch love.thank you.my be god is started to do his work again.am a bit stronger than i used to be.all thanks to the lord for your prayers and wishes.stay blessed my dear.you have not told me about where you are with the security company. till i here from you my dear,stay blessed.


Laughing

**If this doesn't make any sense to you, please direct your browser to Netflix for the movie and then iTunes for the soundtrack -- you'll be glad you did!

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Pastor Frank
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Joined: 31 Jan 2007
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 7:48 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Advise your lad to invest in plastics. Wink

edit: Don't forget a mandatory "Are you trying to seduce me Mrs. Robinson" thrown in there somewhere as well.

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lotta
Baiting Guru


Joined: 08 Jun 2005
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 7:52 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I love it JM! It has soo much potential.

clapping

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Tommo Shanter
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 8:12 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

<br>Make sure you can get Mr Gladstone and the Taft Hotel in the bait somewhere.

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JMRazor
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2007 8:34 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Nice ideas! I love trying to turn her into a seductress (as she describes her various IV drips and repeated drug-induced comas!). Shocked

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Peartree
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Joined: 21 Feb 2007
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 12:40 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Can I suggest you use the lines "We'd like to know a little bit about your for our files. We'd like to help you learn to help yourself."

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asiaguy
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Joined: 14 Apr 2006
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 12:04 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

And..."heaven holds a place for those who pray...Hey, hey, hey."

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HomerJFong
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Joined: 16 Nov 2003
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 1:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Suggest she hide the money "in your pantry with your cupcakes"

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Clint-Thrust
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Joined: 13 Feb 2007
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 2:49 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Tell her your financial advisor is Joe DiMaggio and you can't locate him at the moment.

Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio.
A nation turns its lonely eyes to you (ooo ooo ooo).

Laughing

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Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 15093
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 8:16 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Bring politics into it as the Democrats discuss the choice of their Presidential contender - you're "going to the candidates' debate".

[Assuming that you're American...]

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JMRazor
Baiting Guru


Joined: 03 Mar 2006
Posts: 7103
Location: Yes


PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 4:21 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Most recent exchange:

Me:

Quote:
You said it very well indeed! I'll say it twice: Coocoocachoo,
coocoocachoo! In these dark times Mrs. Robinson, I always remind myself that Heaven holds a place for those who pray. Hey
, do you think that maybe if you pray hard enough, that God might hold onto your place a little longer and keep you here on Earth? I hope so.


Mrs. R:

Quote:
my darling,how are you? and how is the family? its been a while since i toook so much time to talk to you.and i must thank you for all those words of hope and courage you kept sending me while i was unable to reply.i pray the good lord continues to bless you for me.i said those words,and i keep saying them everytime i have the strenght to do so{coocoocachoo}.i must also tell you,that you have always been a blessing to me eversince i meet you.i a short while of knowing you,you have made me realise that when there is life,there is hope.sometimes,i wish you where here to say those words you mail to me.i know with the lord,nothing is realy impossible.i hope the lord showers you with such love you show me.i pray you keep dwelling with him,and his blessings will dwell with you.i have to let you know i feel blessed and you make me glad always.god bless you my darling.


Time to get her to invest in some plastics.

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Jervis Tetch
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 05 Feb 2007
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 10:09 am Reply with quoteBack to top

JM--

You can always tell them you have suddenly come down with 'simonanda garfunculitis' by drinking some troubled waters.


Last edited by Jervis Tetch on Sun Mar 11, 2007 10:19 am; edited 1 time in total
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Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 10:18 am Reply with quoteBack to top

What other Simon and Garfunkel references can be added?

Tell her "They call me Baby Driver" and "When I was young I carried a gun but I never got the chance to serve".

Add a line about your troubled times when young - "When I left my home and my family, I was no more than a boy..."

Mention your friend Richard Corey, who "went home [one] night - and put a bullet through his head".

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"I aim to misbehave."

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iMike
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Joined: 21 Jan 2005
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 5:59 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Get a phone number - you tried to call her but only heard The Sound of Silence.

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Tommo Shanter
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 6:39 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

JMR

He just seems to have stuck your small S & G bit in the middle of his scripted reply. Crying or Very sad

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"i see your not interested in the transaction but catching your fun, calling names and my muckery of me." - Usman Bello
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"...it is very important you forward the your cycling proficiency certificate which by right belongs to you." - Prof Charles Soludo.
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Left Hand Luke
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 6:47 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

some quotes from the movie: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0061722/quotes
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Donato
Baiting Guru


Joined: 07 Jan 2007
Posts: 2923


PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 8:57 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

yastreb wrote:
What other Simon and Garfunkel references can be added?


Plenty... Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

@JMRazor

Tell her that "Last Night I Had the Strangest Dream" it was "Wednesday Morning, 3 A.M." you were on "Bleecker Street" and saw a "Sparrow". The sparrow said "Go Tell It on the Mountain"

So you went and said "I Am a Rock" ,you felt "Blessed" so much so that all the "Leaves that are Green" looked beautiful, but all you heard was the ""The Sound of Silence", but you felt overjoyed that you were"Somewhere They Can't Find Me" On the way down the mountain you saw "Richard Cory" who is a "A Most Peculiar Man", he spends his life as a "Roving Gambler", who thinks politics is corrupt and that the "Blues Run The Game"

On the way home it got "Cloudy" and that the clouds made "Patterns", on the way home you stopped at "Scarborough Fair" and rode on the "The Big Bright Green Pleasure Machine", after stopping to buy some "Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme" you were glad to be "Homeward Bound" you even made it home in time for the "7 O'Clock News" even though there was a traffic jam on the "The 59th Street Bridge ".

You love spring as it reminds you of a saying an older woman once told you "April Come She Will" , you think this older lady now resides in "The Folks" home and that moving there had "A Great Effect" on her even though when she left all her neighbours were saying "Whew".

Next week you are going to be "At the Zoo" with "Old Friends", you'll take some nuts to feed the monkeys and that you'll buy them from the mom and pop store as their motto is "Keep the Customer Satisfied" . It's run by a lady called "Cecilia" who normally works "Late In The Evening" .She keeps telling you to read a book called "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover", though sometimes you think she's "Still Crazy After All These Years" and you try to leave after she starts on "The Dangling Conversation" , even so you do still love "My Little Town" .

Everything in quotation marks is a Simon and Garfunkel tune, and is in chronological album order as seen here


Last edited by Donato on Sun Mar 11, 2007 9:18 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Jimmy Jazz
Master Baiter


Joined: 26 Feb 2007
Posts: 174
Location: Slowly going around the bend


PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 9:06 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

And let's not forget that the next time she asks how you are, tell her you're "feeling groovy".

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Donato
Baiting Guru


Joined: 07 Jan 2007
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 9:08 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

@Jimmy-just make sure you don't get "Lost in the Supermarket"... Laughing Laughing Laughing
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Jimmy Jazz
Master Baiter


Joined: 26 Feb 2007
Posts: 174
Location: Slowly going around the bend


PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 9:14 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

@JMRazor -
There should be 101 opportunities in El Condor Pasa alone.

@Donato - no chance. To avoid this, I have started to Train in Vain. Wink

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JoeTam
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Joined: 16 Nov 2005
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 1:09 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Are you guys going to Scarborough Faire? (Did I spell that right)? If so, I could use some Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme.
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Tommo Shanter
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Joined: 13 Jan 2006
Posts: 5379
Location: Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad. - Euripides


PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 11:47 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^^I've been there. It's full of people waiting to die. A bit like Jersey, but without the tax breaks. Laughing

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Closed lad accounts x135 (at 26/9/2008) Easter Egg 2013 Cellphone x138
"i see your not interested in the transaction but catching your fun, calling names and my muckery of me." - Usman Bello
"You need to visit a good psychiatrist very fast, because some nuts are missing from your brain." - PROF.SOLUDO
"...it is very important you forward the your cycling proficiency certificate which by right belongs to you." - Prof Charles Soludo.
"note i can still change my mind to blow you off and whenever" - T0ny 'The Killerman' Erik
YOUR GENERATION WILL ROAST IN ABSTRACT POVERTY,BASTARD IDIOT -Daniel Mensah

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JMRazor
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Joined: 03 Mar 2006
Posts: 7103
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 12:52 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Wow, you guys are really on the ball. Unfortunately, Mrs. Robinson has lapsed into one of her semi-regular comas, and I'm left with the idiot lawyer...so until I can speak to my older love again, I'm left hoping that "April, come she will." Wink

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