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 Customs Forms

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Templeton Peck
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 27 Feb 2007
Posts: 81
Location: Still trying to escape from the Military Stockade


PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 8:45 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Morning all,

Im all new to this but i thought that i would give some form making a go.

My lad at the moment has handed me over to the security company so i can collect his 'diplomatic cargo' from Hungary. So i thought it would be a good idea to make up some customs import forms for him to fill out.

Ive tried to be quite subtle with the questions because he is based in the western world (I checked his email headers) so his grasp of English may be better that the guy from Nigeria. Maybe if he fills the forms out, i can hit him with something a little more outrageous.

Take a look and see what you think. If they are poop, be honest with me and give me some constuctive critisism.

Cheers all.....................Face Man

Links:

http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u65/akpb123/UKCustomsDec1.jpg

http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u65/akpb123/UKCustomsDec2.jpg

http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u65/akpb123/UKCustomsDec3.jpg

http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u65/akpb123/UKCustomsDec4.jpg

http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u65/akpb123/UKCustomsDec5.jpg

http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u65/akpb123/UKCustomsDec6.jpg

http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u65/akpb123/UKCustomsDec7.jpg


Thats it you greedy buggers!!!
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Raoul Duke
419Eater is my life


Joined: 31 May 2006
Posts: 383
Location: Bat Country, Kingdom of Fear


PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 9:29 am Reply with quoteBack to top

A couple of minor grammatical errors, but on the whole if it keeps a lad busy, then it has served its purpose.

Faceman's on the jazz!

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"The walking sticks is a sign of prince hood. I am not blind."
".Take my word. I just got back from Luton Specialists Hospital. I shall return within the week for brain surgery. I am attaching my picture for your viewing. I unanimously contacted you because I want this money to be used as charity.
"I know little about cheese but you know here we do not put much emphasis on it..
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Templeton Peck
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 27 Feb 2007
Posts: 81
Location: Still trying to escape from the Military Stockade


PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 9:32 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Raoul Duke wrote:
A couple of minor grammatical errors, but on the whole if it keeps a lad busy, then it has served its purpose.


If you let me know where, i can sort it.

Cheers
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Ziggyzap
419Eater is my life


Joined: 13 Feb 2007
Posts: 261
Location: Norwich


PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 9:37 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I lived in Hungary for 7 years. If I can be of any help on this one let me know.

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Templeton Peck
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 27 Feb 2007
Posts: 81
Location: Still trying to escape from the Military Stockade


PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 9:39 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Ziggyzap wrote:
I lived in Hungary for 7 years. If I can be of any help on this one let me know.


Nice one, i will see how it goes and maybe i will need to call in the heavies!!!
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Raoul Duke
419Eater is my life


Joined: 31 May 2006
Posts: 383
Location: Bat Country, Kingdom of Fear


PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 9:49 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Just a few suggestions:

Page 3 - 7 Have you been approached, or have you ever intended to become a suicide bomber

I would suggest changing "in touch with the devil" to "in communion" on 4 -21 otherwise it sounds a bit like the Prince of Darkness is a casual aquaintance. Twisted Evil

5 -32- E "impersonating an official"

6 - 45 Have you ever commited witchcraft or black magic, communed with the dead at a seance or via a ouija board

6 - 47 What is your opinion of the War On Terror.

Otherwise it rocks! Cool

_________________
"FUCK YOU AND YOUR FUCKING MINISTRY.I DID NOT ASK YOU FOR MONEY I ASK YOU TO RECEIVE MONEY. SEND YOUR MONEY TO THE ABURIJANS"
"The walking sticks is a sign of prince hood. I am not blind."
".Take my word. I just got back from Luton Specialists Hospital. I shall return within the week for brain surgery. I am attaching my picture for your viewing. I unanimously contacted you because I want this money to be used as charity.
"I know little about cheese but you know here we do not put much emphasis on it..
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Templeton Peck
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 27 Feb 2007
Posts: 81
Location: Still trying to escape from the Military Stockade


PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 10:00 am Reply with quoteBack to top

OK, consider it changed. Do you think it would work as an official form without giving too much away?
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Jervis Tetch
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 05 Feb 2007
Posts: 669
Location: Cape HATteras


PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 10:28 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Templeton,

Ask your buda-PEST lad which Gabor sister he liked better, Eva or Zsa Zsa.

One of the worst curses you could tell a Hungarian is " Lo'fasz A Seggedbe". I won't get into specifics, but it involves a male horse and that place on your anatomy where the sun doth not shine.

Work that into a reply inocuously---tell the lad it's the name of your banker, etc. If it doesn't get a heated response you'll know he's not a real Hungarian. [I'm not either, btw].

cheerz, jervis tetch---mad hatter
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Nurse Nasty
Eloquent Noob


Joined: 31 Aug 2005
Posts: 7255
Location: Australia, where a dingo stole my eski


PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 11:02 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I love forms... Just added to the arsenal.

Very Happy

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Dark Spirit
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 18 Mar 2007
Posts: 660
Location: In the Darkness


PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 9:47 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Jervis Tetch wrote:
Templeton,

Ask your buda-PEST lad which Gabor sister he liked better, Eva or Zsa Zsa.

One of the worst curses you could tell a Hungarian is " Lo'fasz A Seggedbe". I won't get into specifics, but it involves a male horse and that place on your anatomy where the sun doth not shine.

Work that into a reply inocuously---tell the lad it's the name of your banker, etc. If it doesn't get a heated response you'll know he's not a real Hungarian. [I'm not either, btw].

cheerz, jervis tetch---mad hatter


Wow someone who speaks Magyar, This could just get better, mert en is, de Angol vagyok Smile

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windypops
Baiting Guru


Joined: 25 Jan 2005
Posts: 5884
Location: Planet X


PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 10:06 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Nice forms TP. I'll stick em', you know where. Wink

_________________
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"No amount of semen donation will save this situation" Sanny Sanny
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and sign in with either ladmail or kentbrockman
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Inspector Gadget
Angel of unrealistic meetings


Joined: 20 Feb 2007
Posts: 6191
Location: Trumpton


PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 10:30 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Very good forms. There are a few spelling errors.

Authorising
Questionnaire

There is a reference to the KGB, I don't think they go by that name anymore.
Using 10 Downing St as the watermark isn't really correct :
International Trade Written Enquiries Team
HM Revenue and Customs
Crownhill Court
Tailyour Road
Plymouth
PL6 5BZ

Is their correct address.
The nick-picking bits :
Page 1 'Block Capitals' make it read BLOCK CAPITALS
All pages - Change the date from 2007 to 2005 or 2006
'We've been using this form for years!'
Question 9 - Mentalist? try Mentally unfit/ Clinically insane.
Question 10 enter cargo, try ship or transport
Question 13 change slash at end of question to ?
Question 14 KGB? is now FSB in Russia (changed 1995)
Question 19 change Sandwich to sandwich
Question 33 change gun for firearm
Question 38 reduce the gap between 'give' and 'details'
Declaration page - I would delete the 'holy bible' bit to make it multi-
cultural.
Item V - change intrusion for Burglary
In the last declaration change leisure for pleasure and make 'god' read 'God'

Alternative declaration :
I/we understand that by signing below I/we confirm that all information given is correct to the best of my/our knowledge. That any false delclarations made in the above document make me/us liable to imprisonment upon conviction in accordance with the relevant Laws applicable.
I don't think we can ever have enough forms. Keep up the good work

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Lester
Carrot Dangler


Joined: 20 Nov 2003
Posts: 2540
Location: Somewhere between here and there


PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 11:10 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Need to add

When you last had a gerbil in your rectum, how did the doctor remove it

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Gamblor
Master Baiter


Joined: 18 Oct 2006
Posts: 146


PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 11:47 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Nice forms, but you might want to take out the question that asks for their email password. I had a lad fill out something similar a while back and posted it on here but it got deleted due to phishing laws or something.

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"The rate of dishonest and fraudulent act been perpetrated by persons of dubious intent is quite alarming, perhaps it is due to Economic Pressures and financial constraints, but it is outrageous that some persons could get indulged in such mischievous and unlawful act." Michael Spiff
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