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 Dick Weed's First Attempt

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 10, 2004 5:51 am Reply with quoteBack to top

OK, this is my first attempt. The story so far...

Here's the email that got the ball rolling:

edwin wachira <[email protected]> wrote:

Dear Sir,

I hope this letter will meet you in good health as i have prayed. I got your contact in course of serious search for a relaible and trusted foreign partner which made me to send this letter of good intent to seek for your assistance in respect of your capability,intergrity and as a God fearing person and I hope it will not cause you any embarrassment since we either have any previous contact or correspondence,however I would appreciate your good understanding by giving this matter the much-needed attention as I am presently in a difficult situation and need your urgent assistance nd guidance.

My name is Edwin Wachira from Kenya,a 25yrs old son of late former Government contractor during the time of Ex-President of Kenya Daniel Arap Moi.Because of honesty,economic and political stability in your country,i sent this message to seek for your kind and sincere assistance on fund transfer and investment assistance in your country.

In november 2001,six months before my Father died,he deposited ($14.700,000)fourteen million seven hundred thousand United States Dollars with a security company in Dakar-Senegal in West Africa.He realised the money during some important contract awarded to him during the term of Former Presindent Daniel Arap Moi.

Recently,i received a notification letter from the security company in Senegal requiring me to come to Senegal for the clearance of my late Father deposit with the company as the next of Kin following the expiry of two years safe deposit contract my late Father signed with them.

Due to my inability and with no formal experience, I faced difficulties now in Senegal where i am presently contacting you from. I am ncapacitated by the situation more so by the fact that I do not have the-know-how to handle such amount of money by myself.
I am now seeking for your reliable assistance and partnership to move this money out of the Security Firm. I would require your assistance in terms of materials and logistics to be able to move the money from the Security Firm in question.

All documents concerning the money are intact with me. I would be glad to respond to your email if your would express your desire to assist me in this matter.

Please,do not see this message as is of good will and of mutual benefit.However,is a problem to me because i cannot be able to handle this money here in Senegal and i do not want to loose the money to wrong hands,been aware of the political and economic instability in Africa.

Please note that i contact you based on your capability.Because of these,i have made decision well considered to give 10% of the total sum to you after the successfull transfer of the money to your country.

Please kindly communicate your acceptance of this proposal to enable us discuss the modalities of seeing this through.I count on you greatly for your assistance.

Best regards,

Edwin Wachira.

OK, not bad, I've deleted better, but this will do if it's the only game in town.

My reply:

Dear Edwin,

It saddens me deeply to hear of your loss. My own father passed away when I was young, and I know from experience that joy is something that seldom visits a fatherless young man. Any time such a circumstance is revealed to me, it brings back all of the feelings of loss and abandonment that accompany such a tragic occurrance.

It is with great interest, however that you mention Dakar. I have been contemplating a trip to Dakar in the latter part of this year. Having been a life-long motorcyclist (a passion that I believe to be inherited from my dear departed father), one of my dreams has been to proudly represent both the United States and the American motorcycle company Harley-Davidson in the annual Dakar Rally. It seems as though circumstances may be conspiring to make this possible.

My father used to speak fondly of the way that Harley-Davidson dominated motorcycle racing in the 1920s and 1930s, and I believe that when piloted by someone of my skill and determination, the proud Harley-Davidson marque can again rise above it's arch rival, Indian Motocycles.

I feel very strongly that your contacting me is not coincidence, but perhaps more the result of both of our fathers' wishes that we may be able to find happiness. You in regaining what is rightfully yours, and me in realizing a dream.

My father always reassured me that The Lord truly does work in mysterious ways, and that if I stuck by my dreams and lived a good honest life, that good things would happen. Recently, I received another communcation from an individual from whom I had been seeking sponsorship from in the matter of the Dakar rally. It seems as though he holds my racing and riding abilities in high regard, and is willing to provide most of the funding for my effort. I need only to find a modest sum of money, much less than your generous offer, in order to make my participation (and the participation of those in my racing team and pit crew) in the race a reality.

With the generous help of my sponsor, and by some odd twist of fate, I will be travelling to Africa in the next few months to begin training for the grueling Dakar Rally. I believe it would be highly possible for us to come to an arrangement that not only would solve your problems, but also allow me to pursue my dream without having to rely solely on my sponsor's generosity.

I am very intrigued by your offer. What exact steps do we need to take to proceed?

Thank you,
Richard Weed
Sturgis, South Dakota

More follows...
Master of Master Baiters

Joined: 21 Nov 2003
Posts: 777
Location: Australia (Eastern State)

PostPosted: Thu Jun 10, 2004 5:54 am Reply with quoteBack to top

So far so good. I think after the mugu has waded through the sentimental intones, he will think he has struck the jackpot!
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 10, 2004 11:57 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I received a reply the next day, and waited a day before the next reply.

For those not knowledgeable about motorcycles, the Dakar Rally is one of the most grueling races n the world, covering thousands of miles of mainly desert terrain. Anyone even thinking about entering on a Harley, especially something as old as a knucklehead, would be just that - a knucklehead...

Edwin's reply:

--- edwin wachira <[email protected]>
> Dear Richard,
> Good day......Thanks for your reply.Please do
> understand with me that I need your kind and sincere
> assistance to help me transfer and put the money in
> profitable investment in your country.
> Please, one important thing I want you to bear in
> mind
> is that I counted on your capability and sincerity
> before I made the existence of the money known to
> you
> trusting that you will not cheat or deny me when the
> money get to your possession.Your faith as a
> believer
> gave me lots of joy and happiness for I now sure
> that
> that you are trustworthy and reliable person.Also
> know
> that I never tell any other person or firm about the
> money fearing that I may lose the money to
> untrusworthy people.
> The money is presently with a security firm here in
> Senegal where my late father deposited it for safe
> keeping in three safe deposit boxes. All I need from
> you now Is for you to come down here in Senegal so
> that we can withdraw the money and pay it to your
> account from here. Your present here as my foreign
> partner will be very important and it will give you
> the opportunity to see things for yourself.
> As I told you earlier am twenty five years old, I
> have
> no formal international ability to relocate the
> money
> from here by myself knowing that I may lose the
> whole
> money here if someone here in Senegal should know
> about the money…And the state of the money make it
> impossible for me to make gradual use of the money
> due
> to the fact that it was deposited for safe keeping
> in
> the custody of the security company as valuable
> family
> treasure, going to open and expose the content of
> safe
> deposit boxes may put me to the risk of losing the
> money.
> I will appreciate your understanding to try and make
> it
> down here so that we can withdraw the safe deposit
> boxes and pay the money direct to your account. But
> if
> you cannot be able to make it down here, You have to
> let me know as soon as possible so that I can extend
> the contact details of the security company to you
> to
> enable you contact them on my behalf as my foreign
> partner to discuss and know from them if they can be
> able to transfer the fund over to you in your
> country
> of residence.Then as soon as the money get to your
> possesion,you send me an invitation to come over to
> meet you.Meanwhile,I have made a decision well
> considered to give you 15% of the total money for
> the
> effort, kind and professional assistance you will
> render to see that the money get to your possesion
> possibly before next weekend.
> Do not fail to get back to me as soon as possible,
> Meanwhile, you should try and handle this matter
> with
> good and professional understanding by maintaining
> the privacy of this matter as I am presently doing
> here in Senegal to avoid the raise of eyebrows.
> I look forward to hearing from you soon.
> Best regards,
> Edwin.

My own response:


Please excuse the tardiness of my reply.

When I realized the enormity of the sum of money
involved, it sort of startled me.

In order to clear my head, and think straight, I went
out and did what I do best - ride my motorcycle. With
the dream of competing in the Dakar Rally now all but
certain, thanks to your generous offer, my training
has taken on an entirely new facet.

As you know, the rally starts in Europe, and continues
on, mile after mile, to it's final destination -
Dakar. In order to get my mind, spirit, body, and
motorcycle ready for the challenge I'm about to face,
many things must be accomplished now in short order.

My training began early yesterday morning with the
most critical aspect - that of the spirit. Rising well
before dawn, I prayed for what seemed like hours,
asking the Lord to send me some sort of sign. I looked
up and caught my reflection in the mirror, with the
rising sun supplying an almost halo-like backlight.
Glancing down, I saw that the shadows on the floor
very closely resembled the Great Pyrimids. Truly, a
sign from God that I would soon be riding to victory
in the sands of the greatest deserts in the world!!!

I was then free to Pursue my goal with renewed vigor.
Soon I was tinkering with the bike, coaxing it into
life. After only an hour of adjusting the carburetor,
and breaker points, a few kicks brought the mighty
knucklehead Harley-Davidson to life.

Knowing that during the Rally, I shall be faced with
many cultures and cuisines so different from my own,
it was off on a long ride to find food similar to that
whick will available. After nearly thirty miles (and I
might add, with only two stops for repairs!!) I found
myself in front of a market that specializes in
Mid-Eastern and African foods. Not knowing what any of
the items for sale were, I picked a huge, oblong,
reddish fruit for my sustenance. After paying the man
for my purchase (he said something about Allah be with
me. Are there many Christians in your part of the
world?), I went outside, and after giving the Lord
thanks for the food, I began to eat. And I've got to
say, that was the most horrible tasting thing I'd ever
bitten into. It was bitter, sticky, and full of seeds.
Is this really what you eat there?

Anyway, after a few bites, it was time to get back to
training. Knowing that the roads on the Dakar Rally
are not always the smoothest, I picked a route that I
knew to have many potholes and much uneven pavement.
That was a mistake. After about five miles of this
torturous thouroughfare, it took it's toll on my
trusty motorcycle. The constant pounding of the rough
pavement evidently caused the primary chaincase drain
plug to work it's way out, spilling all of the oil
out. Since Harley-Davidsons are not known for leaking
oil, this surprised me to no end. Devoid of it's
precious oil, the clutch assembly ceased to function.

Now I was left with a non-running motorclcye and
stranded nearly 25 miles from home. I took this as a
sign from the Lord that pushing the motorcycle home
would provide me with much-needed physical
conditioning, as well as a test of my faith and

With a light heart, knowing that the funds for the
much needed repairs would soon be here, the task was
made easier.

So, my dear friend, please send me further information
on how we may proceed. My sponsor has made available
to me a modest sum of money, but the repairs to my
motorcycle will start to chip away at it, slowly but

Oh, please call me Dick, as that is what all my
friends refer to me as. Some of them even wrote a song
for me on my last birthday. It goes something like

Dick Weed, Dick Weed
You know you're a Dick Weed

Dick Weed Dick Weed
On your Harley you will Speed

Dick Weed, Dick Weed
Let your Willy be Freed (this was my favorite line,
it's a reference to a movie about a captive whale that
finds freedome in the open sea)

Dick Weed, Dick Weed
You know you're a Dick Weed

Anyway, if my friends can address me in this manner, I
could expect no less from someone whom I consider a
great benefactor as well as a business partner.

Please reply as soon as possible, for I may have to
sell my computer to help cover the repairs to my
motorcycle unless either my sponsor quickly approves
my request for funds or we can complete this

As the procedure for withdrawing the sponsor funds is
quite complicated and laborious, I can easily
understand and appreciate the challanges we are about
to face in our endeavor.

Truly you,
Dick Weed

At this point, I'm thinking the next steps will be to escalate the urgency, and begin the exchange of photos. Any thoughts/suggestions from those wishing to mentor?
Master of Master Baiters

Joined: 28 May 2004
Posts: 764
Location: Wisconsin: land of beer and badgers

PostPosted: Thu Jun 10, 2004 3:35 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

If only one of my mugus knew you. He got upset when I changed his name Richard to Dick. Laughing

"Certainly there is no hunting like the hunting of man and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never really care for anything else thereafter." - Ernest Hemingway

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