Mr. Akonu and his advertising campaign photos

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Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 8:08 pm

This is one of my nicest baits I had so far. The scammer, Mr. Tajudeen Adeola, came to me with a standard next-of-kin letter. Over $ 28 Mio in a hidden account, that�s one good occasion! My character Xxxxxx Du Arschgesicht enters the scene�

The scammer's emails are in plain text, my responses are italicsized, and any side comments are in bold. Some parts are overwritten with �xxx� to hide my character to other scammers. My aim was to get a classic �silly sign� trophy very quick. Please note that English is not my native language, so please ignore my grammar and bad spelling� Cool

From: Mr Tajudeen Adeola
Date: 28/02/2007.
SUBJECT MATTER - UNCLAIMED DEPOSIT.

My Dear,

It is my pleasure to meet you through the International Business Link, and i am a staff of the United Bank for Africa Plc.I will give you my staff Identity Card in my next mail.However, i will advise you respond immediately after reading this letter. Last two years, we lost one of our foreign customers a National of your country .Before his death, our late customer was an Automobile Engineer, and a business associate/partner to the West Africa Chamber of Commerce and Industry.Sources confirmed that he had held the contract of supplying Auto-Parts to West African Markets for close to 18 years.This our late customer came to Nigeria in the year 1995 when he attended the 14th International Trade Fair of the West Africa Chamber of Commerce/Industry held at Lagos Trade Fair Complex.During this time, he visited my bank to open an account. He opened a Domicilliary [Dollar] account, where he then advised his local customers in Nigeria and the rest of West African Countries to deposit all his money, since it was difficult transfering money to his foreign accounts individually.Since then, i have mornitored this account each year.At the end of every year,this our late customer would write to mybank to transfer some money to his forei gn account, and we did.However, we got a shocking news from his local customers that he had died of heart attack November 29, 2005.I had tried to locate any distant relation of this our late customer. I have gone to yourcountry's embassy here to see if i could be able to reach any of his distant relation but all was unsuccessful. Now, his account contains a credit balance of Twenty-Seven Million, Eight Hundred and Fourty Thousand Dollars[US Dollars] which is the total of the various deposits made into his dollar account by his business associates/local customers in West Africa till the year 2005. I am expecting you to respond to this message immediately as the next of kin to this our Late Customer so that this money will be tranfered into your account as the beneficiary.This account has no other beneficiary and my Bank does not know any other kin to this our late Customer.And my Bank is ready to approve this transfer to you only if you can provide correct information about this our late customer which i may help to provide for you by sending to you his photograph,companyprofile,and account details with mybank.I decided to contact you because this fund may be reverted into our Government's treasury as an unclaimed fund and it can not be approved for payment to any body here, except a foreigner.This is due to the fact that the owner of this account (our late customer) is a foreigner, and my bank expects that the beneficiary next of kin should be a foreigner from your country too. I advise that you try as much as possible to respond to this important message in order for us to lay claim on this inheritance fund from our Bank to avoid this fund being confiscated as an unclaimed fund by our Government.With all due respect,i expect your prompt response to enable my Bank effect the transfer of your inheritance fund. Truly yours, TAJUDEEN A. ADEOLA (CFR). UNITED BANK FOR AFRICA PLC (UBA).

Here�s my standard first response for these scumbags. Some lines are copied from very good baits of �The Godfather of Scambaiting�, Shiver himself�

Hi Adeola,

sorry that I can't help you in this matter at the moment. I'm too much concerned about my new business. You may already know of me since it was you that contacted me. My name is Xxxxxxx Du Arschgesicht and I am the junior chairman of Blas & Wichs GmbH. We are meat producers (beef predominantly) and sell our products mainly in Europe and North America.

We are planning our new advertising campaign for our meat-producing company, where we want to make clear that our beef is consumed by people worldwide . For this purpose we created our new slogan "Nichts k�nnen und scheisse aussehen!".

This means a lot of traveling; the next weeks we will be in Asia and India for taking our advertising photos. So, Mr. Adeola, I'm very sorry, but I think you have to seek someone else's help in this matter.

However, if you would know someone who would be willing to assist us in our advertising campaign, we could reimburse him out of our advertising funds for his efforts. We already did this with several guys from USA, and each of the photos they sent in was awarded with 1,500 EUR out of the funds.

Again, at the moment I'm unable to help you, but I hope you will find someone else soon.

Yours sincerely

Xxxxx
---
Xxxxx Du Arschgesicht
- Blas & Wichs GmbH -
Xxxxxxxxstra�e 81
80807 M�nchen

"Nichts k�nnen und scheisse aussehen!"

Please note: This signature is added to everyone of my emails. To keep this post shorter, I leave it away here from now on. �Arschgesicht� is the German word for �butthead�, �Blas & Wichs GmbH� is German for sth like �Blowjob & Wanking Co.�. The slogan �Nichts k�nnen und scheisse aussehen!� can be translated with �Too dumb for everything and looking like crap!�

Dear Friend,

Thanks for your kind comments ad it is well percived.Anyway,I can equally assist you with the advertisement campaign but that will be determined by the nature of the campaign though i am a busy man i could contact personnels to assist you to this regard.

Tajudeen

Dear Mr. Tajudeen,

thank you for your quick response. Well, if you - or someone else you know - want to assist us in this advertising campaign, you simply have to promote our new slogan "Nichts k�nnen und scheisse aussehen!". We are, as I told you before. a meat-producing company here in M�nchen/GER. With our new campaign we want to open new markets for us, all above in Asia and Africa.

The new slogan "Nichts k�nnen und scheisse aussehen!" (translation would be something like: "Nothing tastes better than fresh meat!") should be written on a large sign in bold letters. The person who promotes our slogan should hold the sign in his hands while standing in front of an domestic animal, i. e. a cow, a bull, a pig or, if available, some hens/chickens. The animals must, of course, be alive. Needless to say that the "promoter" should smile on the photo. The photo should be of good quality, large and clear.

Depending on the quality of the photo (person good-looking and smiling, nice sign and good readible, animal's face towards the camera etc.) my company Blas & Wichs GmbH pays the "promoter" sums between a minimum of 500 EUR up to 3,000 EUR. If one of the photos sent in finally makes it to the "advertising selection", i. e. it will be used for the campaign in cinemas, on billboards or in magazines, the "promoter" will receive an additional 150,000 EUR.

Please note: We do NOT care about the age, skin color or gender of the person on the photo. Blas & Wichs GmbH wants to emphasize by this new campaign that our meat products are eaten by people all over the world, of all ages and both genders. However, the person on the photo should be good-looking and smiling. It is also possible that small groups of persons are on the photo, but the animal in the background AND the sign should be clearly visible and readable.

On receipt of a satisfactory photo (emailing it will be enough for our first perusal) our four board members will then gauge the quality and therefore the size of the payment amount to send to you. The payment is sent by whatever means suits you best and is made usually within 24 hours of receiving your work. If the photo will be used for our "advertising collection", it will be necessary that a good quality paper photo is sent (shipping charges will be refunded - receipt needed). Important: The collection of photos for our new campaign will end on April 15. Photos sent in after that date cannot be accepted!

Kind regards

Xxxxxx Du Arschgesicht

Dear Friend,

Your request for assistance in your company advertisement is well percived.firstly i would want to assist in an effortless campaign,since i assist for my own personal intrest as i am a banker.nigeria is one of the biggest and largest country in the africa continent,it is popularly known as the giant of africa due to its foreign policies.

In other words i could assist you far more than the range you expected.we control the west african markets.With the help of my bank i could help your company get registered with the Standard org of nigeria.This will enable us stage a fabulous campaign down here and have your products distributed all over west africa,no doubts I would want to stand as your company's general distributor here in africa.I could arrange for a good number of people with the stated slogan and can only send such via email to you for your croos checks.But i would first demand that i get a copy of your personal identification and your company letter headed papers duely stamped to enable exert the geniueness of this company.If this will be confirmed,i will have to endorse an officail agreements with you since,i am out to help your company grow in Africa and that will be impressive since we are still awkward in developments.

Tajudeen

Dear Mr. Dajudeen,

thanks for your email and your offer to assist us.

I read your letter with great interest and I decided to inform our four board members and discuss your offer with them. Your offer to work for us as our distributor in the Western part of Africa sounds tempting.

I will inform you in the next days about the decision of the board of gouvernors.

Best Regards

Xxxxxx

I let him steam four days. Then I sent him the following email:

Hi Tajudeen,

how are you? Hope everything is fine.

Well, today I discussed your issue, i. e. your offer to work for us as distributor in your country, with the other Board members. After a long discussion - we were not sure if we really need such an employee in your country at this point of time, we came to the following points:

1. No one in our company knows you and therefore we can't judge about your ability to perform in this position. Usually, our company just employs persons after a long test which they have to undergo here in Germany. Of course we know that it would be a long travel for you to come to our country and you would have a lot of expenses.

2. We decided that in your case, we could skip the test if -and only IF- you can prove us in another way that you are reliable and would work in a satisfying matter for our company. Consequently, the decision if you will be employed as a distributor for our company will be dependent on the fact how satisfying you will deliver us the advertising photos I mentioned in an email earlier. That means, you have to prove in this "easy task" that you are reliable and a good employee.

3. We decided that only in the case that you will deliver quality photographs CLEARLY over the average photos we usually get from people outside our company, you will get the chance to work in such an important position like a distributor for your country.

However, if you feel that you are unable to match and meet these demands, we will respect your decision. Please inform me about what you think and if you would like to tackle these high requirements. If you don't want to deliver us any photos, please let me know. There are about 30 other volunteers waiting to send in their photos, but we just allow ourselves to have 8 of them at a time. One of these eight spots is you - at the moment.

Hope to hear from you soon

Xxxxxx

Dear Friend,

Your email was well percived no doubts ,i fully agree to all your working terms as long as i am fully cleared off with some basic requirements as i wish to fully understand and know who i trulely work for.For your information my numbers are +234 80 60 232 676 you can call at your wish but may i have copy of your company letter headed papers as well your personal identification( comapny identity card and a driving licence) this will help me in buliding a good business relationship with you as i am out to assist your company fully in west Africa.

The photographs as requested will be submitted as soon as i can have this through computer scanning,i could get as much as possible.I cannot afford the courier expenses for now.Anticipating your soonest response.

Tajudeen.

I don�t bother to call him (not on my expenses...!). Instead of that, I make up a funny company letter head and send him my �ID card�! (I blackened certain parts to keep my character secret). Note that the man on the picture of the ID card is Edmund Stoiber, President of Bavaria, one of Germany's 16 states!

Dear Tajudeen,

thanks for your email. I added the letter (blank) we usually use at our company, I hope this is what you wanted. Moreover, you can check my ID card (Personalausweis) which I added as an attachment.

However, the Board of Gouvernors is getting somewhat impatient with you and your doubts. As I told you before, there are dozens of other volunteers waiting to send in their photos. As a consequence, the Board of Gouvernors decided that you will be "out of business" when you don't start your work within five working days.

I for myself am confident in you and I don't want to send you away as a business partner (because I like to idea to increase our market in Africa). However, it is the Board who decides and I'm afraid that you will be definitely "out" if you don't come up with some good work now.

Hope to hear from you soon

Xxxxxx
ID card
letter

Seems that he accepted these weird documents� Very Happy

Dear Friend,

I feel very excited at the reception of your identities.Right now i can assure you of my entire devotions to this campaign with all sincerity and honesty but remember ''two heads are better than one good head'' in other words,i will be needing your close directives to the discharge of this assignment .

I had notified you of my willlingness to send these pictures to you through computer scans as i am not capable of sending them through courier services for now due to the expenses involved.I will be taking a tour to three different animal farms here in nigeria to get the photograps taken with the inscriptions as stated but may i have the slogans again.I will be using a card board sheet to write boldly with ink the slogans in different languages and will get the photographs across to you for immediate attention ,if this is acceptable to you,i demand that you extend my duration of submitting this photographs to monday next week as i will sure of the qualities involved.May i get the slogans again.

Tajudeen

Dear Tajudeen,

very nice that you finally get going. As I told you, there isn't much time left, several dozens of other volunteers are waiting to get one of the eight "spots" and send their photos in.

First of all, our new slogan is "NICHTS K�NNEN UND SCHEISSE AUSSEHEN !" (please note the dots on the "�", this is very important!). This is also the slogan which is promoted by our new campaign, which should be your first aim. Make sure that everything is good and clearly readable and that the spelling is ok. For now, it will be enough if you make photos with that one slogan, however, if you want to impress the board and by that improve your chances to get employed as a distributor later on, you could also send in other photos with our old slogan "SENNFREHE ! ! !". Please note: The Board members, including myself, don't like it at all if our slogans are humiliated, exchanged or misspelled. What we also dislike is people who just translate it to other languages out of their point of view (many misunderstand the meaning of our slogans and translate it completely wrong!). So I urgently give you the advice not to try that for your own.

Stick to the slogans how they are, accurate spelling and accurate punctuation. I also give you the advice to focus on how the person and the animal on the picture harmonize, i. e. the animal should look in the camera's direction, the person on the photo should smile, should wear nice and clean clothes and may be hold one thumb up. One last aspect: The photos, if they're good enough, may be used on big billboards and in cinema commercials. Therefore, the photo quality must be VERY good and the size of the photo should be as big as possible.

OK, so much for now. I will try to get the board convinced that we prolong your time limit to monday March 12. However, it would be easier if you could send in the photos faster.

Hope to hear from you soon

Xxxxxx Du Arschgesicht

�Sennfrehe� is a non-existing word in Germany. It refer�s to a skit from German comedian Oliver Kalkofe. Link to this skit:
clicky

Dear Tajudeen,

I sent you an email recently, but you didn't reply. I managed to convince the Board of Governours to prolong your time limit for sending your photos until Monday. However, they want to know about the progress of your work. Did you already begin with your work?

Please note: If you decide to step back and not to send in any photos, our company could give "your" spot to another one of the volunteers. So please inform us if this is the case - the sooner we know about it the sooner we can give another young talent a chance.

Yours

Xxxxxx Du Arschgesicht

My new friend Tajudeen introduces me to his �business partner�, Mr. Akonu. Most probably he himself is Akonu, but I don�t care�

Dear Friend,

You will be receiving the photographs by monday as i told you earlier rom one Mr Chiagoziem Akonu.My paramout concern here the existing conditions as soon as this phgotographs lands your box.I had contacted my good friend over this matter as i am a very busy man.Nevertheless,the nice photographs will be landing your box by monday and i bet you it will serve its purpose.

Kindly reconfirm to me the next step you will take as soon as these photographs lands your box as i had made him believe that he will be reimbursed within the next 24 hours of submission of this photographs.Mr Chiagoziem Akonu,will be assisting your company very well in Africa as he is a trusted and reputable partner of mine.Perhaps,you will confirm this from the photographs as soon as you receive them.In the intrest of extending your market to Africa at large,Mr Akonu will be very necessary to assist us in these struggles and should be regarded accordingly as the your distributor in Africa if you find him fit for it as i stand to attest for him.He will be contacting you soonest.Please ,i need that you give response to my enquiries immediately,as i stand to explain issues carefully to him.May i equally have your contact numbers.

Tajudeen

Hi Tajudeen,

nice to hear from you. It is good that you notified me that you still want to send in photos until monday (last possible date!). The Board of Gouvernors already urged me to let you drop down and give another volunteer a chance, but I sticked to you and it seems that I will be right at the end of the day. I hope you won't disappoint me and the photos are accceptable - in the end their quality decides about the amount of money you and the artists on the photos get!

It's kinda surprising for me that this Mr. Akonu should now be or future distributor for your country as I thought that YOU want to get that job. However, if he's involved in the photo job and gets this job done very well, we could also employ him.

You can call me in my office with the number +49-175-28xxxxx (international code for GER already included!). Please note that I won't be in my office earlier than 2 pm tomorrow (MESZ), so there's no sense in calling me earlier.

I'm looking forward to monday, hopefully you guys will not disappoint me for sticking to you and giving you the extra span of time.

Thanks for now

Xxxxxx Du Arschgesicht

Now he contacts me with his new �identity��

Dear Sir,

I was contacted by Mr Tajudeen to assist your noble company in your advertsing campaign all over the world.I understand that the photographs are necessary to promote your products and that implies that they are consumed all over the world peharps in the African continent.

I hold a B.sc on Public Adiminstration.At the moment.I had taken a few photographs which is delayed at the lab and i will submitting them over to you by 18.00 Gmt today.I had taken the shots at a nearby ranch with few cattles and the African black faces at the background,which i think will serve a good purpose to our campaign.I needed to get those copies over to you later today while i look forward towards assisting you further in a more comprehensive manner.Be rest assured that as soon as i hear from you as to the payments for the job well done for the few these photographs,i will then be fully devoted and dedicated to your advertisement as i will have every reasons to trust you.I will be making alternative arrangements to reach out to other animals like the pigs,goats rams and fowls from a bigger farm perhaps that will be determined as soon as i can lay my hands on the money which i will invest to mobilise my plans.

Akonu C.(MR)

I increase the pressure, because I finally want my souvenir photo�

Dear Mr. Akonu,

thank you very much for notifying me. I will check my inbox after 6 pm today. Please note: Today is the last chance for you and Mr. Tajudeen to send in photos. Any pictures reaching my inbox tomorrow or later can't be accepted as you guys loose your "spot" as one of the eight volunteers. In that case you would have to wait for a new "spot", which can last up to several months, depending how good the other volunteers work.

Stay bl�dld

Xxxxxx Du Arschgesicht

He finally delivers the photo... Too bad that he didn�t spell the words correctly�

Dear Xxxxxx,

Sorry about the delays,kindly find the attachd
copy of the photograph.This taken from a close by
cattle ranch earlier today to meet up wit your time
demands.

We found it difficult to get the animals look directly
to th camera but be rest assured that the background
represnts an african setting and will communicate to
any one that sees it.Be mindiful of the fact that as
soon i am reimbursed on this,i will understand the
seriousness and readiness of this meat production
company.I will from the token make good researches on
thebvarious animal farms around to get you a more
comprehensive background work.

Akonu.C

Pic

I�m sooo sorry that I can�t pay anything for that trophy� Very Happy

Dear Mr. Akonu,

thank you for your email and your -1- volunteer photo.

I presented your photo in the evening meeting to the Board of Gouvernors and we checked the photo and considered its quality. Here's the result:

1. SIZE
The size of the photo is definitely ok. However, future photos must NOT be smaller than that.

2. RESOLUTION
The resolution of the photo is sufficient for a first perusal. However, if the photo should be used in a later advertising campaign, it is NOT enough. In that case, the photo has to be sharper.

3. SLOGAN
The slogans on the photo are NOT acceptable. I clearly stated to Mr. Tajudeen that the slogans have to be written exactly how I told him. The first slogan says: "NIGHTS KONNEN UND SCHEISSE AUSSEHEN!". This is incorrect. The correct slogan is "NICHTS K�NNEN UND SCHEISSE AUSSEHEN!" (note the "c" and the "�", i. e. the dots on the "o"!). The second slogan is also wrong. The slogan on the photo is "SENFREHE!!", but it should be "SENNFREHE!!!" (note the two "n" and the three exclamation marks!). Moreover, it is NOT acceptable that both slogans appear on one single photo. The writing itself on the signs is very good - it's clear and good readable.

4. ANIMALS
The animals are perfect! As our company's main product is beef, the cattle fits perfect to our business. However, you can also use other domestic animals, i. e. pigs, rams, goats or even chicken.

5. PROMOTERS
The two guys on the photo are ok, their clothes are clean and modern. Their smile is also ok, and they present the slogans very nice. Here's a little hint: It would be better if the promoters stand in the foreground and the cattle/animals are nearby in the background. One can easier read the signs then and the smiles are better viewable. Also, for future photos i recommend you to also employ women, as the Board of Gouvernors doesn't enforce discrimination against females.

6. BACKGROUND
The background is definitely ok. These African houses are a good means of showing the viewer where this photo and therefore the promotion is from. Again one little hint: It would be even better if you wouldn't add vehicles like that white truck, that ruins the rest of the background.

7. SUMMARY
There are a lot of things which you made really good, but there are some issues. As I told you above, you failed to write the correct slogans on the signs. Moreoever, you cannot promote two different slogans in one single photo (completely different advertising campaign!).

As a consequence, the photo cannot be used for the advertising campaign and we also cannot award you any payment for this photo. However, the Board members discussed how high the compensation would've been if the slogans would have been correct and if there would have been just one slogan per photo. The result was, that a payment in the area between 1,200 and 1,300 EUR could have been made. Moreover, the Board decided that you can - if you want - keep your "spot" in the ranks of the eight volunteers and send in new photos, because we recognized that you have a good amount of talent and we want to give you a second chance. Please inform me about your decision, i. e. if you want to give it another try (with the correct slogans!). If this is the case, I recommend you to study the hints and tips which I mentioned above, you can increase your photo's quality and consequently your payment significantly!

Best regards

Xxxxxx Du Arschgesicht

Dear Xxxxxx,

I had acted following on the directives i got from tajudeen.I appreciate your urgent attention to the submitted photographs .I am happy that the four board members strongly understands my willingness in assisting this firm towards promoting their products world wide.My intergrity and reputation towrads this caling is unquestionable.

I would be delayed a little further in submitting the recent corrected potographs due to funds,this is due to travelling expenses involved in locating a ranch and nearby farms,and the cost of tipping the farm owners and the shepherds to assist you in gathering the animals together.Perhaps i will be reaching back to you probably by weekend with the new photographs.It is necessary that your company bears with me in this delays while i make arrangements to raise funds since i live on a pay cheque.If you could assist me in this say $ 200,i will appreciate but in any case,i will get back to you by weekend,i hope this acceptable to you.

Akonu C.

He wants money upfront? No, dear mugu�! I introduce him to my second baiting character, Mrs. Ibinna Volldepp� (Ibinna Volldepp = I�m a complete and utter idiot)

Dear Mr. Akonu,

thank you for your email.

May I presume that you want to tell me that you are going to send in more photographs? In that case, I would tell our Chief of Staff, Mrs. Ibinna Volldepp, that she should wait until next week, let's say monday evening, until she replaces you with another volunteer. Is this alright for you?

I'm sorry to hear that it wasn't your mistake but Mr. Tajudeen's fault that the slogans on the photo were incorrect and two slogans on one photo. However, I cross-checked my outbox and found the emails I sent to Mr. Tajudeen - my instructions were perfectly alright, so he is the only one who is to blame here for this inconvenience.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Best Regards

Xxxxxx Du Arschgesicht

Dear Sir,

The time limits are alright,i will see what i can do before then.

Akonu C.(MR)

I contact him from Ibinna�s email addy�

Dear Mr. Akonu,

may I first introduce myself: I'm Mrs. Ibinna Volldepp, the Leiterin of the Personaldirektion (Chief of Staff) of Blas & Wichs GmbH.

I was notified by one of our Board members, Mr. Xxxxxx Du Arschgesicht, that you sent in -1- volunteer photo last week for our new advertising campaign, which didn't meet our requirements, but showed a lot of talent. He also asked me to prolong your time span as a volunteer until monday, 19.03.2007.

I want to inform you that this date is tomorrow and therefore this is your last chance to send in volunteer photos. If you fail to provide our company with new photos, I'm afraid that your engagement as a volunteer has to be ended to give another young talent a chance. In that case, you would have to stand in line for the next free spot among the eight volunteers. Currently, we have 34 candidates, so waiting for a new chance will at least be another 2 months (and therefore, not in this campaign, but maybe in the next advertising campaign). However, if you send in photos and the Board members consider these as sufficient and appropriate for our advertising campaign, the Board could decide about another prolongation of your engagement.

Tomorrow's time limit is 10 pm MESZ (Berlin/Paris/Rome time).

Best regards

I. Volldepp

Very quick my lad comes up with two new photos. This time the spelling is alright, and they seem to be happy! I like mugus with goats� Unfortunately he sent the photos to Ibinna Volldepp and not to Mr. Du Arschgesicht�

Dear Sir,

Sorrry for my delays i getting over these photographs to you.I have carefully visited a popular ranch here in Awka .It had been quite dificult trying to mobilise people for assistance ,perhaps my inability to put some incentives that will attract people for a joint assistance.However i had done my best in sending over these two photographs fully exhibiting an African background and portraying a harmonized relationship between the animals and humans involved.It had been quite difficult to get women involved in this project following your last comments on women involvement in this project due to lack of incentives.I had managed to get few eople convinced over the realistic nature of this campaign alongside the owner of the ranch who was reluctant to assist if not for some tips i offerd him.

I have done every thing necessary within my abilities to show much concern towards assisting your firm as discussed with Mr Tajudeen.Your company in th intrest of good personnel management should be concerned on how best to motivate me in this pursuit since you are more convinced with my response to this matter.Perhaps ,i am more concerned on how best we could elongate your market tentacles to west African markets wih me fully exploring my contacts to assist.May i understand in clear terms that i will be receiving my wages soonest so i could fully be convinced that i am pursuing a realistic course.My mobile contacts are +234 80 60 232 676.I hope to hear from you sonnest.

Akonu .C

Pic1
Pic2

Ibinna doesn�t like to be adressed as a �sir��

Dear Mr. Akonu,

thanks for your email. First of all, I want you to notice that I'm not a "Sir", like you adressed me in your email. I clearly stated that I'm a "Mrs. Volldepp". I urge you not to insult me once again in this matter. Remember, you are just a volunteer and I'm the Leiterin of the Personaldirektion. I could easily dismiss you, without any reason. So Mr. Akonu, mind you, don't insult me again in this matter. I'm a very feminine and emancipated person, and I hate it like nothing else if I'm insulted because I have a vagina!

Moreover, I want to inform you that sending me volunteer photos makes no sense at all. I and the whole Personaldirektion have absolutely nothing to do with the new advertising campaign. Please send these to one of the Board members. I just contacted you to notify you that I would have to dismiss you if you fail to provide Mr. Du Arschgesicht with photos until today 10 pm, as he told me. It seems that you were just in time with these photos (in case you also sent these to Mr. Du Arschgesicht, like it seems).

I'm awaiting further instructions from Mr. Du Arschgesicht wether he wants to keep you in our company or not. If it would be for me, I would fire you, because you have no respect of women whatsoever!

Ibinna Volldepp

I have a nice lad � he apologizes to Ibinna�

Dear Friend,

I apologise for wrong perceptions about you.I only copied you to a mail meant for Mr Xxxxxx.Kindly accept my apologies as i will not know the way things are conducted in your company talk more of the sexes of the actors involved if not explained clearly as you just did.

I have a great respect and concern for the women world and we do not discriminate here.I have taken note of your kind comments and will appreciate it most if you accept my kind apologies to your humble self.

Akonu .C

After my lad resent the photos to Mr. Arschgesicht, he gets an answer � and finally the information about his payment! And an offer to earn even more money�

Dear Mr. Akonu,

thank you for your email and your -2- volunteer photos.

I presented your photos in the today's morningn in-briefing to the Board of Gouvernors. We gauged the quality of these photos and came to the following result:

1. SIZE
The size of both photos is ok.

2. RESOLUTION
Like in your photo of last week, the resolution of the photos is sufficient for a first perusal. Again, if the photo should be used in a later advertising campaign, it is NOT enough. In that case, the photos need to be sharper.

3. SLOGAN
The slogans on the photos are fine. This time you got the slogans alright. The writing itself on the signs is, like last week, quite good - it's clear and good readable.

4. ANIMALS
The animals are fine! As I told you, our company's main product is beef, but we also offer goat's meat (the name of this certain product of our company is "MEINARSCH ISWUND". However, here's a big negative point: Not a single one of the brown goats on photo #2 is looking into the camera, and on photo #1 there's just one goat looking into the camera whereas others are looking in different directions and one goat even hides its head in a fallen bucket.

5. PROMOTERS
The two guys on the photo are ok, their clothes are clean and modern. However, here's one negative point: You used the same promoters for both photos. See: With this new advertising campaign, our new company wants to make clear that our products are consumed by a huge number of various people. Therefore, it is not appropriate or helpful if the same people are on different advertising photos, all above if they wear the same clothes! Their smile on photo #1 (white goats) is ok, but the right man doesn't smile at all on photo #2 (decreases the quality of the photo and it's value, i. e. several 100s EUR off!).

They present the slogans very nice, the signs are good readable. Again you used nothing but male promoters, which is ok, but I urgently recommend you to also employ women, as the Board of Gouvernors doesn't enforce discrimination against females.

6. BACKGROUND
The background is definitely ok. These African houses are, like in your first photo, a good means of showing the viewer where this photo and therefore the promotion is from. The fallen bucket on photo #1 is a negative point, such items shouldn't be on the photo, all above if these are fallen over.

7. SUMMARY
Compared to your first photo, there are a lot of things in which you made great progress. Your photos are much better now, even though these aren't perfect. You're on the right way. The board of gouvernors decided that photo #1 (white goats) equals the value of 1,400 EUR, whereas #2 (brown goats) equals 1,550 EUR.

But here's some really good news: The board of gouvernors decided to offer you a work contract until (as a first step) the end of this actual advertising campaign. You would no longer be a volunteer but a promoter on a regular basis; your monthly income would be 18,500 EUR (before taxes). Your work would be to provide us with photos like the one's you sent (quality at least as good, if not better!) on a weekly basis. As you are a starter, it is enough if you send between 3 or six photos per week (this number should increase more and more, our veteran promoters provide us with over 20 photos a week!). However, as a promoter you would get straight directives on how to take the photos. That means, for example, you couldn't take just ANY animal, but would get the directive to use a brown cow. Understood?

I will ask our chief of staff, Mrs. Volldepp, to send you a worker's contract (in case you are interested in continuing your work for our company). As soon as you send us this contract back after you signed it, your work can start (and certainly also your wages). Please let me know about your decision, I would notify Mrs. Volldepp about your contract as soon as I get an answer from you. By the way, Mrs. Volldepp complained about you. She said that you are rude, jingoistic and have no respect of women at all. Man, she was really upset and mad on you, and you can't imagine about all she wished which should happen to you. Don't ask me to repeat in detail what she said, but it included a machete and your testicles.

I hope to hear from you soon, Mr. Akonu!

Best regards

Xxxxxx Du Arschgesicht

Dear Sir,

I am well pleased by your company decisions.Meanwhile,i apologise for the mistakes inherent in the photographs.Remember the ranch in question does not belong to me,i had approached the shepherds therein with lots of craps to gain there permission.This had affected the position of the animals and unacceptable equipments around the scene.The non-involvement of more characters in the scene had been associated by lack of incentives to attract people as they do not understand the aims of the project and are after their intrest which i could neither sort out easily.

However,i accept the terms and conditions stated by your company and would wish to work as a promoter in your firm.I rather request that your firm makes funds available to me from the campaign,this will aiding me for more efficiency in carrying out my duities effectively,in the .Most of the errors witnessed are associated with lack of funds to mobilise more assistance from various individiuals,who are more concerned with what they stand to benefit insatntly and also a pay tip off for the shepherds for an unreserved assistance towards granting me access to the best of their flocks.I am quite sure that at this stage of this campaign,your firm should be more reassured of my unreserved willingness to serve your firm with all sincerity.Please kindly consider my request.

Akonu.C.

One day after that, Mr. Du Arschgesicht gets the following email. He can�t wait to get employed by �Blas & Wichs GmbH��!

Sir,

I have not received the contract forms yet as i had hoped to have gotten them before now.I anticipate your quick response.

Akonu.C

Mrs. Volldepp, the Chief of Staff, sends him a worker�s contract. She is still mad on him because he called her a �sir��

Dear Mr. Akonu,

although I don't like you at all I have to send you a promoter's contract as Mr. Du Arschgesicht told me. You have just to sign it were I marked the "x" and send it back to Mr. Du Arschgesicht (a scan of the signed contract will be enough, but make sure it is a colored scan!).

Regards

I. Volldepp
(worker�s contract attached)

He doesn�t loose any time and resends the signed form to Mr. Arschgesicht�

Dear sir,

Kindly find that attached contract form as endorsed by me.I hope to hear from as soon as possible.

contract

And he finally wants his money for the volunteer photos�

Dear Xxxxxx,

I had returned the completed contract form yesterday to you which i hope you received in good faith.I had been worried over your recent delays in responding to my mails and this gives me deepest concern.

As regarding my recent submitted photographs at which i stand to earn 2950 Euro,i have neither be communicated on how i will be reimbursed immediately as i was told Mr Tajudeen, that i will be receiving my funds latest 24 hours prior to submission of the photos and now it is eluding to days.I understand that the contract forms will be effective from next month and thus i need i get rewarded at least in compensation of my efforts and expenses incurred.I hope you see good reasons to my request as i anticipate your soonest response.

Akonu.C

My mugu gets the directives for the next photos and a hint how to get his payment� (RINDVIECHER RAMMELN ISGEIL = Shagging cows is lustful)

Dear Mr. Akonu,

thank you for your email.

As I told you in one of my last emails, our company and especially myself are very busy about this new advertising campaign. You will understand that I'm not always in my office as I'm traveling a lot. Just yesterday afternoon we had a short trip to Zurich/Switzerland to make some promotion photos with purple cows.

I received your signed contract with the satisfaction that you made the right decision to prolong your engagement for our company. Here's one important thing: You are wrong if you think that your contract just starts beginning next month - we received it yesterday, March 22, and therefore your contract starts on this very day, alongside with your payment of 617 EUR/day, which is the total of 18.500 EUR/month (before taxes). I already instructed our Leiterin of the Personaldirektion, Mrs. Volldepp, yesterday to set you on the list of employees. Please be aware that your first date limit to send in the minimum of three new promotion photos is therefore thursday, March 29. As for this week's instructions: You proved that you can deliver photos in quite good quality. Now it is time to improve the last issues and enlarge the variety on your photos.

Therefore take two photos with the actual slogan of the advertising campaign "NICHTS K�NNEN UND SCHEISSE AUSSEHEN!" and, unlike in your last photos make sure that

a) at least one promoter is female and wears a nice dress / skirt

b) this time, take one snap in front of a bunch of chickens, the other in front of a cow. Please note: The cow MUST look into the camera (one cow is enough however!).

Decide yourself what you will take on the third (and eventually the fourth or more) photo, it's just the directives I gave you before with the one exception: The slogan this time is for a minor side campaign which promotes our beef product "Rindviecher", thus take the snap in front of some cattle (the longhorns in your first photo are perfect!) and hold up the slogan sign which says "RINDVIECHER RAMMELN ISGEIL !".

Remember for all your photos, as mentioned before: The promoters MUST smile and, if possible, hold one thumb up.

Dear Mr. Akonu, I can't understand what you are talking about with the money. Of course I know that Mr. Tajudeen was told that you will receive your money within 24 hours of reception of the photos. This is also applicable for your photos, like we handle all our relationships with volunteers (which you were at that time). I just called Mrs. Volldepp and was told that she as the one responsible for our staff and also for the wages of our staff would have been happy to pay you, however you failed to inform her about the way to get your payment. She said that she couldn't just send out a letter to "Mr. Akonu, Nigeria", containing the 2,950 EUR. I recommend you to get in contact with Mrs. Volldepp and tell her about the way you want to receive your money. This should enable you to receive your volunteer wages within the 24 hours I mentioned.

Meanwhile, I wish you the very best as our newest "member of the Blas & Wichs crew" and a lot of success with your work. Please be aware that our promoters, like yourself, are among the best-paid promoters in Germany and thus our company demands a lot of dedication and commitment to your job.

I hope to hear from you soon

Xxxxxx Du Arschgesicht

He contacts Ibinna Volldepp with his request for money, and �surprise, surprise- he wants the money to be sent by �Western Union�� But who the hell is Miss Franca Nwachukwu�?

Dear Mrs Ibinna,

Good day,I had just received a directive from Mr Xxxxxx to drop my payment details to you as you are incharge of the staffs.I will receiving my payments through my personal assistant ,hence my payment details is;

Miss Franca Nwachukwu,
Ziks Avenue Awka,
Anambra State,
Nigeria

I would be preffering to receive funds through WESTERN UNION as that is the easiest and the best so far.It is necessary that you scan the detailed docment of the transfer slip to me .I had submiited two photographs of which i am due for 2,950 Euro as disclosed by Mr Xxxxxx to me today.I stand to understand that i will be receiving my payment in the next 24 hrs following the submission of my payment informations.This i think will be very necessary as i assume that futher delays to my fund will perhaps affect my further assignment which i think kicked off yesterday, 22/03/07,perhaps i had been required to submitt three photos before thursday but that will be affected seriously by finance but as soon as i can lay my hands on this my fund i will kick with the latest assisgnment.

Akonu. C

He also contacts Mr. Arschgesicht�

Dear Mr Xxxxxx,

I have taken note of your comments in your mail.How ever,i will be sending my payment informations to her immediately to enable me get the reward for the recent photographs i submitted.I will be extremely willing to take up the new assignment if only i could receive the wages of the last photographs submitted as that will help facilitate my efforts.The date for the latest submission will hence be determined by her urgent response in getting over my wages to me.

In the mean time,my personal assistant will be assisting me in collection of the funds,i had preffered to receive funds through western union money transfer,hence my payment details goes as thus ,

Miss Franca Nwachukwu
ziks Avenue Awka,
Anambra State Nigeria

I look forward to your kind assistance in rectifying my case urgently,perhaps a scan of the transfer document would go a long way.Thanks

Akonu .C

Dear Mr. Akonu,

nice to hear from you. Thanks for updating me with all the news. However, it makes no sense to send payment details to my person, I have nothing to do with anything around staff or wages. Please send these informations to Mrs. Volldepp.

Best regards

Xxxxxx Du Arschgesicht

Ibinna Volldepp doesn�t like Mr. Akonu. And it gets even worse� Too bad that payments cannot be made to third parties�

Dear Mr. Akonu,

thanks for your email. I received your information about the paying details and crosschecked it with your personal information we have on file here. Due to these informations, our employee (volunteer, now promoter) is

Mr. Chiagoziem AKONU
Lagos, Nigeria

Now you told me that I should send your payment to a

Miss Franca NWACHUKWU,
Anambra State, Nigeria

This lady is neither on our list of employees nor did we have contact with her. Please note that due to company policy, we strictly refuse to make payments for our employees or volunteer photos to persons other than our employees themselves. This directive was established by the Board of Governours in 1987, and since then we didn't change it. We never made payments for work done to others than our employees. I'm sorry for that.

I suggest you to give me the details of your personal bank account and I will tell Mr. Schoasdromme from the Personaldirektion, who is responsable for payments, to wire you the money into that bank account.

Meanwhile, I want you to note that I'm not your buddy or girl-friend. How dare you to call me with my prename? I clearly stated that, for you, I'm "Mrs. Volldepp". Did you get that now? This is now the second time that you insult me because of your lack of respect against women. I will report this new incident to the Board of Governours, because I'm getting really mad now because of your insults.

Mrs. I. Volldepp

Mr. Akonu asks Mr. Arschgesicht for assistence in getting his money�

Dear Mr Xxxxxx,

I have just submitted the payment informations to Mrs Ibinna,i humbly request that you assist me in getting her attend to my request immediately to enable me meet up with the thursday deadline as she seems not to be liking me neither though i had sincere apologies tendered to her.

I beg for your assistance here,to hasten up things.

And he writes to Mrs. Volldepp, again changing his payment details�

Dear Mrs Volldepp,

I think you are ok with the salutation now.I had dropped the informations of my personal assistant who had assisted me in the recent times with financial matters.I regretably announce that my bank does conduct a wire transfer since we are in third world countries of the world.

At the moment my international passport had expired and my driving license bears my middle names Kosisochukwu Akonu,meaning that failing to use my personal assistant's name,then the payment details we go as thus:

Mr kosisochukwu Akonu
No 40 ziks avenue awka,
Nigeria

I presume my names were copied from my previous as against my notice,no one brought such to my attention and i should deserve a right to ascertain how i receive my wages,because you should have consulted me before making conclusions.I had pointed that the convinient means here is western Union.Meanwhile,Mrs Volldepp,i had apologised to your bad feelings about me.I do not mean to insult you perhaps you correct me when i err as i have good and admiring respect for women perhaps preety ones like you.Please my payment should be conducted as i deem convinient for me.

Akonu.

Ibinna again refuses to send the money to his new identity�

Dear Mr. Akonu,

thank you for your Email. Today in the morning Mr. Du Arschgesicht called me and talked with me about the problems with your payment.

First of all, I want to put your focus on the fact that in your first one of yesterday's Emails, you stated that the Personaldirektion should send your payment to a lady with the name "Franca Nwachukwu" in Anambra State/Nigeria. As I already informed you yesterday, this was not possible due to our company policy.

After that you suddenly told me that I should send the money to

Mr Kosisochukwu Akonu
No 40 ziks avenue awka, Nigeria

After all, the last name matches with your last name, but in our files here in our company you are registered with the name "Chiagoziem AKONU, Lagos/Nigeria". Therefore, I think this Mr. "Kosisochukwu Akonu" ist either your brother or someone else of your kin. Again I want you to remember our company's policy: No payments are made to people other than our employees.

Moreover, it is very odd that there isn't an account where I can wire the money into. As you can write me emails and sent volunteer photos via internet it is obvious that you have a computer and internet access. So one would think that you would have such a normal thing like a bank account. Anyway, I could also send you the money via a money transfer company, as you stated. However, the high costs for the transfer will be deducted from your wages. I will inform Mr. Stingade Schoasdromme, our company's treasurer, that he should send the amount (2950 EUR - 87 EUR fees for the money transfer = 2853 EUR) to

Chiagoziem AKONU, Lagos/Nigeria.

I hope you agree with that.

By the way, I failed a complaint to the Board of Gouvernors and the anti-discrimination bureau here in our company because of your impolite and disrespectful behaviour against me.

Regards

I. Volldepp

Mr. Akonu again seeks help from Mr. Du Arschgesicht�

Dear Mr Xxxxxx,

I had just received a mail which i think is unacceptable to me.Mrs Volldepp had just refused the acceptance of my personal assistant to assist me in the claims of funds.Unfortunately,my bank here in nigeria does not offer a wire transfer due to its poor technolgical advancement.I have my international passport expired and at the moment i could only receive funds through western union with my drivers license which had been created with my first names Kosisochukwu Akonu,i had stated this to her and hope this is acceptable as she had failed to contact me before having ( chiagoziem Akonu) noted as the final names to work with,she should have contacted me instead.

I deserve a good working relationship here, as this issue turns to be worrisome to me and i feel i should involve you as my boss who i had humbly assisted.Please kindly address this issue as this would deter my efforts as i have a close date for submission of my latest photos and this wages is ver necessary here.

Akonu.

Suddenly he remembers his first identity �Tajudeen Adeola� who writes to both Mr. Du Arschgesicht and Mrs. Volldepp (�Dear All�)� Too funny that Mr. Tajudeen writes from the same IP adress as Mr. Akonu!

Dear All

I am your old friend Mr Tajudeen Adeola,i had been busy with work load recently .I had just contacted you over the volunteer i introduced to your campaign--Mr Akonu.

Please i would love that his wages be rectified as he is deeply worried over the rejection of his personal assistant.I am aware of his drivers license that bores the names Kosisochukwu Akonu,please,i solicit that you suit his intrest in line with your company policies as that young man will be ver helpful at this point in time.It is good to hear that he has been promoted to a rank of a promoter in your firm,thats exciting! .

One more thing,assist me in pleading with Mrs Volldepp to negllect whatever wrong had been done to her by Mr Akonu,he is your employee and deserves a good comunication network with her.Thanks once more.

Tajudeen Adeola (CFr)

Mr. Du Arschgesicht promises Mr. Akonu some help. The email from Mr. Tajudeen is ignored�

Dear Mr. Akonu,

thank you for your email. I read it with great interest and see that there are some problems with your payment. Well, as it is already 6:30 pm here in Germany, most of the people here are already at home, including Mrs. Volldepp. I will ask her to clarify that problem tomorrow.

As for now, I can only guess what the problem is, as you mentioned that you had a "personal assistant" to claim the funds. Most probably Mrs. Volldepp referred to a company directive which says that payments/wages/funds must NOT be paid to anyone else than our employees OR our volunteers. Could it be that you asked her to send out your payments to anybody else? In that case, Mrs. Volldepp acted perfectly alright, as she isn't allowed to do that. However, I am sure that you and Mrs. Volldepp will find a way to send your payment out to YOU.

Moreover, I'm very surprised that your bank does not offer wire transfers...? How do they do their transfers then? I mean, what if I want to send money to that bank (btw, what is the name of the bank)? Well, anyway, I'm sure you and my old friend Ibinna will find a way.

Best regards

Xxxxxx Du Arschgesicht

Meanwhile, Joe Br�sl from the anti-discrimination and emancipation department of Blas & Wichs GmbH sends Mr. Akonu a warning because of his bad behaviour to Mrs. Volldepp�

Dear Mr. Akonu,

Mrs. Volldepp, the Leiterin of the Personaldirektion here at Blas & Wichs GmbH, filed a complaint against you (Az.: 88611)

In this complaint there it is said that you behaved rude against her, in detail you adressed her with her prename although you never met her. Moreover, she claimed that you have no respect against women whatsoever and considered her as your personal hooker in this company.

This behaviour is far beyond the standards of common behaviour. Hereby, you receive a "warning" from us. If we will, in the future, once again hear of such disbehaviour on your side, we will urge the Board of Gouvernors to dismiss you.

Best Regards

Jo Br�sl

---
Johann Br�sl
- Abteilung f�r Gleichstellung und Anti-Diskriminierung -
Blas & Wichs GmbH
Xxxxxx 81
80807 M�nchen/GER

He tries again to convince Ibinna Volldepp to send the money to his �new� name, very politely by the way...

Dear Mrs Volldepp,

With all due respect ,i look to receiving my wages( 2950 Euros) for submitted two photographs within the next 24 hours as disclosed by your board member Mr Xxxxxx.Please,kindly confirm this to me.

Find a place in your heart to overlook my mistakes and do have it in mind that i do respect and cherish women very well.

Akonu

And once more he seeks help from Mr. Du Arschgesicht�

Dear Sir,

I had made mention of my drivers license that bears the names Mr Kosisochukwu Akonu,that could be used if funds can't be sent to someone else.I am sure i can collect my wages via western union with my drivers license,that alone settles the matter.

As for the account issues,i will be re -opening a dollar account as soon as i have enough funds to do so with a more matured and reputable bank here in nigeria whence my wages would be deposited but that will be later .At the moment,i wish Mrs volldepp sends my money through the western union with the names Kosisochukwu Akonu which is still my names.

Akonu.

Dear Mrs Volldepp,

Thanks for your email.Firstly,note that the names Mr kosisochukwu Akonu are my names and had been disclosed to you.I do not stand to be blamed as i was not duely consulted before rushing into conclusions that i would wish to be reffered as chiagoziem Akonu.Similarly,i had not for once stated that i reside in lagos nigeria as that was recorded in relation to my friend Mr Tajudeen who lives in lagos and had contacted me for this assignment.I had your contract form issued with the names Chiagoziem Akonu written on it not allowing me the right to state my full names therein as it appears,this i think is unacceptable to me

Hence,your bid to pay me through the names Chiagoziem Akonu is unacceptable to me,i will be pleased that the board of Governours looks into my case while my subseqent assignment is tarrys for the time being untl my issues are resolved first .I had insisted that i will be payed with the name Mr kosisochukwu Akonu with the addresss stated.The fact lies that these rightful informations are coming from your employee Mr Akonu as against your assumptions( Akonu Chiagoziem) .I am in agreement that the sums of 87 euros be deducted from my wages to cover the transfer charges while i hopefully believe that i will be receiving my wages by monday 26th of march 2007 latest with the names Mr Kosisochukwu Akonu.

On the contrary to the stated above,i had been assigned to submitt three photos on or before Thursday.This i think will be effective as soon as i receive my wages for the recent photographs to enable me cover expenses incurrable.I can only receive funds from Western union with my driving license which appears as thus Mr Kosisochukwu.C. Akonu.Precisely,i will be willing to make an appeal to the management of this comapny of this issue.In the meantime i operate a savings account with Community Agricultural Development Bank( for farmers) that does not conduct wire transfers but i will be opening a dollar account as soon as i have enough fund to do so.

Mr Akonu

And he adresses Mr. Du Arschgesicht�

Dear Sir,

Good day, i had written over the unnecessary delays of my wages.Mrs Volldepp had My names attached to the company files as against my convince and due consultations.This i think shouldn't delay my wages as i had every right to disclose my identities fully to the company prior to such request but no body requested for such.The basic management principle stipulates that ''your employer should duely issued with a prospectus on the code of conduct in your firm which he has the right to either attest nor decline''.

I request that kindly assist me in proffessionally rectify this matter as i understand that you are the junior chairman of this great firm whom i had worked for.My latest date for recent submission of my new photos will be affected due lack of funds to handle incurrable expenses.I had disclosed the correct names as it appears in my driving license(Mr Kosisochukwu Akonu).I look forward to receiving by wages by monday prior to your humble guidance hereThank you.

Akonu.

The company treasurer, Mr. Stingade Schoasdromme (translation: Stinking Fart-Drum) gets in contact with Mr. Akonu and sends him payment details from Money Gram�

Dear Mr. Akonu,

I'm Mr. Stingade Schoasdromme, the company treasurer of Blas & Wichs GmbH. My department chief, Mrs. Volldepp, told me to send you the sum of

2853 EUR

via a money transfer company. This is very unusual for this company, as we normally always wire the wages of our employees in their bank accounts. However, she told me that you do for certain odd reasons not have the possibiliy to do so. Therefore, I went to the local money transfer company here in M�nchen and sent you the amount above. I was instructed to deduct the high costs for that money transfer from your wages of 2950 EUR, which is a total of 2853 EUR then.

See the attached scan of the "Send Form" for further details.

Best regards

Stingade Schoasdromme

...
Stingade Schoasdromme
Sachbearbeiter Finanzen
Blas & Wichs GmbH
Xxxxxx 81
80807 M�nchen/GER

"Nichts k�nnen und scheisse aussehen!"

MoneyGram

Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 8:57 pm

Mr. Akonu makes a trip to the Money Gram office and comes back with bad news...

Dear Mr Xxxxxx,

I received an invalid payment document from your company treasurer by name Mr Stingade Schoasdromme,containing the sums of 2853 euro sent via Money gram.I had attached the slip for your verifications.I had visited the Platinum Habib Bank located in Awka Anambra state Nigeria for this purpose and they confidently confirmed the inavlid nature of the reference Numbers and had requested i contact the sender over this.

I am somewhat concerned at the lack of competency and efficiency of your long existed treasurer over financial matters --being his area of specilisation.Prior to the progress of the advertisement,i am doing my best to locate a neat poultry to cover the shots needed in the rightful manner but the fact that the wages of the earilier submitted photos haven't been payed marks a thing of delay in my efforts.Please kindly address my case in this comapny appropriately.

Akonu.

And he writes to Mr. Schoasdromme:

Dear Friend,

It is quite unfortunate that the document transfered to me bears invalid reference numbers ''47110815'' as had been confirmed by Platinum Habib Bank,Awka ,Anambra State,Nigeria,which had been an embarrasing situation for me at the Bank.I request that you rectify these errors immediately as i have not claimed the funds yet.

I will looking forward to hearing from you immediately.

Akonu

... and sends the fake Money Gram Send form to Mrs. Volldepp!

Dear Mrs Volldepp,

Good day,i had earlier today received payment document from your company treasuer,which i had included in this mail.Unfortuantely,the transfered document bears an invalid reference numbers as were confidently confirmed to me by the money gram Agents of The Plantinum Habib Bank,Awka branch Anambra state Nigeria after series of attempts.I had been requested to contact sender.

Please i have been unable to receive my wages over the submitted voulunteer photos.I request your proffessional assistance in resolving this problem today.It is very necessray that i speed up my submission of the new shots on or before thursday and i solely rely on the expected fund for mobilisation.Thanks for your kind asistance towards this matter.

Akonu.

A couple of hours later and Mr. Akonu still hasn�t an answer from Mr. Du Arschgesicht!

Dear Sir,

I am somewhat disturbed by your non response to my complaints filed this afternoon.I had been unable to receive my wages for the two submitted photos which i worth 2950 euro.I had been sent a invalid document and inavlid reference numbers by your treasurer which had caused me great embarrassments at the bank today.

I wish that you look into this matter and get my pay sorted out immdiately.I need to kick off with my new assignment immedaitely as i am willing to be the best promoter this firm had ever encountererd but i need this pay to handle all expenses.I will appreciate your superior approcah to incompetence by your staffs.Good day

Akonu

Mr. Schoasdromme is angry because Mr. Akonu informed his boss Mr. Du Arschgesicht about the failed Money Gram transfer�

Hey Mr. Akonu,

I just came into work half an hour ago and saw your letter from yesterday. I also got a call from our Board of Governours, and Mr. Du Arschgesicht urged me to verify that payment details I got from "Money Gram". Why did you complain to Mr. Du Arschgesicht? Is this your attitude, to go and tell the Board members of every little problem you encounter? Are you that sort of a tattletale? Maybe Mrs. Volldepp, my head of the Personaldirektion department, was right when she warned me about you...

Nevertheless, I got a directive from Mr. Du Arschgesicht and I will comply with his orders. I will go to the Money Gram Office this afternoon and check out what the problem is. What I know for sure is that I handed them over 2,950 EUR for your wages, from which they took 87 EUR for transfer fees.

In the meantime, could you please tell me more precisely what that guys at your Habib bank meant with "invalid numbers"? These numbers were entered to that form by the employee of the Money Gram office, I had nothing to do with that. So, if I tell him that this numbers are "invalid", he will certainly ask me WHY the numbers should be invalid.

Hope to hear from you soon

S. Schoasdromme

And from Mrs. Volldepp:

Dear Mr. Akonu,

I called Mr. Schoasdromme and asked him about the problems you encountered. He told me that he already got in contact with you to find a solution for this.

I think this will do it for the moment.

Ibinna Volldepp

Dear Mr. Akonu,

thank you for your email. It is very nice to learn that you are planning to be the best promoter in our company, that makes me really happy. I'm sorry that I couldn't answer you earlier, but yesterday was our company beer fest, where nearly everyone in the Munich branch took part. We had a lot of fun and drunk dozens of Mass Bier.

It's bad to hear that you still couldn't receive your payment, I will tell Mr. Schoasdromme, who I hold in high regard as our long-year treasurer, to check into this problem at once. You will certainly be paid for your volunteer photos. I'm curious about what problem caused the delay, normally payments sent out reach the recipients within one day, tops.

Please be informed that the contract as a promoter you signed has nothing to to with any compensation you get for the volunteer photos you sent in before. Of course I understand that you encounter some problems because you couldn't get your money cashed yet, but I want you to focus on the fact that we have a valid contract with you and I MUST insist that this contract will be fulfilled and the terms are kept. In your case, this means that your first time limit for your first set of at least three photos (you already got the directives!) is thursday, March 29.

Please remember that it was only ME who saved you from being ejected as a volunteer by prolonging your time limits for sending in your photos TWO TIMES. I'm afraid I can't help you out in the board of gouvernors once more; if you fail to fulfil your contract, I think the other four board members will at once vote for your dismissal.

Anyway, I will see what I can do for you and your payment. I have big hope and belief in you, hopefully you won't disappoint me.

Best regards

Xxxxxx Du Arschgesicht

Mr. Akonu still needs that money to make the new photos for this week�

Dear sir,

I wish to submitt my assigned task on the day appointed but believe me,i need funds to facilitate my efforts.I am entirely brooke and could hardly reach out to these farms.You need best and i am willing to do my best as well but then ,i need your assistance.tommorrow is wednesday and i neither received my funds at all,i need this sum to assist me in performing my next task without which i could neither correspond.

Akonu

He gets an information from Mr. Schoasdromme�

Dear Mr. Akonu,

I was in the MoneyGram office yesterday just before I went home in the late afternoon. I talked to the guy who was there when I sent you the money and who received the 2950 EUR from me.

He crosschecked the form and the numbers which you called "invalid" and he said that there is nothing wrong with that numbers. The money is in custody of the MoneyGram company and it is not yet claimed. He said that these problems are not new to him, because the people who work in African MoneyGram offices are often kinda dumb. He said that they often have clients who complain about not getting their money in Africa, mainly in Ivory Coast, Benin, Somalia and Peru.

He said you should go there again and call the manager. Maybe that one of the employees wants to cash the money for himself and does not tell you about that.

I hope to hear from you soon, Mr. Akonu.

Best regards

S. Schoasdromme

He writes to Mr. Schoasdromme:

Dear Sir,

The bank at Awka,Platinum Habib Bank,had demanded that the agents in Munchen provides me with a valid reference numbers which is eigt digits 47110815'' and it is the only major determinant of a valid transfer in money gram,perhaps the agent will understand as soon as you mention such to him.I assume the payment weren't conducted carefully by the agent and might have encountered mistakes.Rightfully confirm that the fund haven't been picked and probably explain to the agent at the payment desk that the sum failed to reflect innigeria whence it was sent to after the reference numbers had been entered.I believe your proffessionalism in this matter.Meanwhile,i apologise for my attitudes in the previous times and i assure you of my loyalty .Please.i look forward to receiving my wages soonest perhaps before thursday morning.

Akonu

Mr. Du Arschgesicht increases the pressure on Mr. Akonu. The company needs the three photos for this week!

Dear Mr. Akonu,

thank you for your email, as always. When you informed me about your problems, I talked to Mrs. Volldepp, who is responsable for staff and payments. She said that she already informed our treasurer, Mr. Schoasdromme, about the problems and he is busy to solve the problem. I was also informed that most probably the problem occured on your side, i. e. that the money was sent properly and you just didn't claim it yet.

I understand that it would be easier for you if you already were in possession of the money, however this has nothing to do with our contract. I urgently recommend you not to fail to fulfil your contract right in the first week, this would give you a very bad reputation among the Board members, and I'm afraid that you would be out of the job at once.

Please note: Out of the 37 promoters we have, there are just four which didn't yet send in photos this week:

Mr. Ichmachs Mirselber
Mrs. Schleckmicha Ndermuschi
Mr. Chiagoziem Akonu
Mr. Wiaschdl Middsenf

Obviously you are among these four, so please note that your time limit for sending in photos is thursday, March 29, 10 pm.

Hope you are fine and have a nice day

Xxxxxx Du Arschgesicht

Note that the other three names are totally ridiculous:
Ichmachs Mirselber = I like wanking
Schleckmicha Ndermuschi = Lick my pussy
Wiaschdl Middsenf = Frankfurters with mustard

He responds at once:

Dear Sir,

Thanks for your kind comments and assistance so far.I will be leaving for the bank immediately speak with the manager of the bank,I am equally working towards acquiring a dollar account which i think will be ready soon.

I need that you assist me in speaking to the board over the cause of my delays,i am definitely sure i will not be meeting up with demanded task prior financial problems, however i request for the extension of my deadline till wednesday next week by then i would have sorted this out with the treasuer and perhaps have enough finance to carry out my task.I will be willing to submitt not more than six photos covering my last week task and the present requirement for the next week task.I aniticipate to hear from you .Thanks a lot

Akonu.

He also writes to Mr. Schoasdromme:

Dear Friend,

I am somewhat discouraged with the attitude of the agent there in munchen,i had just visited two different agents in nigeria(United Bank For Africa & Spring Bank Plc Both In awka Anambra State) who had just confirmed what the guy at Platinum Habib Bank said, unable to locate reference numbers hence reference numbers are invalid,the document is inavlid as far as i am concerned.Right there at the bank several other persons were claiming funds from relatives abroad and i begin to wonder why my case is different.Infact,i was highly embarrased by the agent staff at the desk today.Why these occurences ?

I had rather concluded that the guy at the location is a kind of dishonest and wishes to steal my wages.My concern lies on how i could safely receive my wages since the former weren't correctly done by the staff and right i had not yet received such.As the treasuer it is necessary that you walk up to the superior Officers of Money gram Agents to report this abuse of their services while they rectify this case immediately as it is your duty to see to financial aspects of your staffs.I had asked by the board of governours to submitt my photos for the week which i had been unable to do prior to the fact that my payment had not been conducted yet.I will be writing them to explain these whole situations to enable them now.I look forward to your soonest response.

Akonu.

�and he writes to Joe Br�sl to explain his bad behaviour against Mrs. Volldepp:

Dear Friend,

Thanks for your email.I had mistakenly addressed Mrs Volldepp as Mr thinking she was a man prior to her first mail to me of which she had it explained to me.I had long apologised to her and was somewhat suprised at the receipt of your mail.

However,i am still very sorry if i had offended her.I appreciate your kind mail and i assure you of my loyalty.thanks

Akonu

Later that day, he writes to Mr. Du Arschgesicht again:

Dear Sir,

I wish to bring to your notice my encounter with your financial dept.I was today by my friend - Mr Tajudeen Adeola ,that i will be reimbursed latest 24 hours after the submission of my photos.Your board over Governors should be more concerned on how to fulfill their agreement to me .I am not impressed at all with what i get at the end of the day.The submission of my last photos is running into weeks and yet i have not received any cash incentives in form of compensation to my previous efforts as we agreed.Right now,i am expected to carry out a new task.

I have been at two diferent banks( UNITED BANKS FOR AFRICA & SPRING BANKS PLC) that offers money gram services in addition to previous bank and they all say the same thing - unable to locate refrence numbers,hence invalid reference numbers which ultimately means that the document at which i was given by Mr Stignade is invalid hence i have been unable to receive my payments.I am honest and law abiding citizen of nigeria,i have without compliants faithfully carried out my first task.In the intrest of fairness and equity,i demand that this firm should be concerned on how to pay me my wages than to put deadlines irrespective of what i feel .I am afraid,i cannot collaborate with the stated date( thursday).You are aware of the fact that i am willing to be in your firm and play a vital role which i had proved but i am not impresed at the protracted delays to my payment.I undersatnd you occupy a vital position in this firm as a member of the board of Governors.I beg that you
carefully look into my case as i feel someone is being dishonest here.I appreciate your concern.

Akonu

And a letter to the Chief of Staff�

Dear Mrs Volldepp,

Good day,i have been at two different banks today that offers money gram ( UNITED BANK FOR AFRICA & SPRINGS BANK PLC) and they both confidently told be that the document on which the treasurer had persisted to be correct is invalid and such transfers does not reflect here in nigeria.I am an honest and law abiding citizen of nigeria and could neither give false informations to this great organisation.

I beg of your assistance here as i am in big doubts over the intergrity of the Money Gram agent in munchen,he should be reported to his superiors over his abuse of their services.I have it as agreement with this noble firm that my wages will made available every 24 hrs of my submssion of the photographs,this matter had eluded to weeks and i have tommorrow as my latest date for the submission of the new task for the week which i can't correspond
to due to this finance problems.I look forward to your soonest response..

Akonu.

The Board of Governours is still waiting for the photos�

Dear Mr. Akonu,

thanks for your email. I just came home from a very important business trip to Austria this afternoon. We made a couple of good photos with J�gertee, Salzburger Nockerln and Kaiserschmarrn.

As for your problems you told me, I just can tell you what I said before: If you fail to send in your weekly set of photos (in your case: 3) until thursday 10 pm, you loose your weekly wages and moreover, most probably the board of gouvernors will decide that you will be dismissed. In the end this is what you signed in the contract and you'll have to accomplish it.

Anyway, I hope you don't disappoint me, because it was me that fought for you to become an employee of this firm

Xxxxxx Du Arschgesicht

Mr. Akonu wants his money for the first photos before sending new ones�

Dear Sir,

I am very sorry i cannot help the situation at the moment.I am disappointed with the tone of your mail.You had Taj and i believe that i will be reimbusred within the twenty four hours of submission of the photos,half way to that,your firm is determined to dismiss if i don't submitt another photographs,which means i do not have any job security therein,i could be dismised any day.The firm haven't satisfied the terms at which they had me submitt tow photos while i kept my own part of the agreement.I deem that we have no contract yet not until i am satisfied with the initial agreement we had.

Perhaps,i am very sorry,i cannot meet up with the deadline as stated therein.Thanks

Akonu

In the evening, Mr. Akonu receives surprising news from Mr. Schoasdromme. Now he knows why he couldn�t get the money cashed at Money Gram!!!

Dear Mr. Akonu,

I read your email with great interest, and I have to tell you that I must apologize to you. I want to apologize because I suspected you to be dishonest with me. Since today I know that you told me the truth and that you really can't get your money cashed in Nigeria.

The reason for this is the same reason why I'm still working so late at night. Today the police showed up in our office and interviewed me about the recent money transfer which I made in your direction. They told me that they arrested the manager of the local Money Gram Office, Mr. Zaster Stinktnicht, this morning. This man is suspected of having embezzled most of the funds which were paid to that office last week. Most probably your money, i. e. the 2950 EUR, is part of the total sum of 56,000 EUR which was embezzled by this man.

His trick was that he didn't pay the customer's money into the Money Gram system but kept it for himself, deleting all the according money transfers. Now it finally makes sense to me - of course you were told by the Money Gram people in Nigeria that the transaction number "47110815" is invalid - this Mr. Stinktnicht simply deleted that certain money transfer from the MoneyGram computer system, and therefore it simply didn't exist any more. Can you imagine that he did the same thing with over 40 different customers?

Well, thank god the police got him now. He will be interviewed by the State prosecuter tomorrow, as far as I heard from the police. Moreover, they searched his house in Gr�nwald, a village 20 km outside of M�nchen. They found most of the embezzled money hidden in the dog kennel of his Labrador. So Mr. Akonu, I'm in good hope that I will get your money back and send it to you by another means. Again, I apologize for having suspected you to lie or simply to be too stupid to get your money cashed. Now I know that it was just the fault of this criminal Mr. Stinktnicht.

I attached a scan of the local "Kack" newspaper, evening edition. This story is the headline on the first page today - no wonder, Mr. Stinktnicht was considered as a serious man before, and many know him here in M�nchen!

Mr. Akonu, I will also inform Mrs. Volldepp and Mr. Du Arschgesicht about this email. They are already aware of the problems which occured with this MoneyGram office.

Best regards

Stingade Schoasdromme

newspaper
(Zaster Stinktnicht = Money doesn�t stink)

Mr. Akonu is delighted about these news�

Dear Friend,

Thanks for your mail,i wish to show great appreciation to your great discoveries.The police i hope will deal with that dishonest man very ruthlessly.However,i look forward to receiving my payments as soon as possible today since the truth have been discovered.

Akonu

Mr. Du Arschgesicht sends a message to all promoters who didn�t send photos for this week...

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

This is a mail to all those promoters whose weekly time limit was thursday and failed to send in photos for the last week. Because of your violation of contract agreements you will have to deliver your photos in addition until SATURDAY, MARCH 31, 10 pm. If you fail to deliver your expected work, you will loose your weekly salary, which is

a) for Mr. Akonu: 4,177 EUR
b) for Mr. Mirselber: 6,322 EUR.

Moreover, you will be subject to dismission.

I regret that I can't send you a more optimistic mail, but in the end it's your own fault that you didn't watch and obeye the time deadline. So go ahead now and get your work going!

Regards

B. Du Arschgesicht

Mr. Schoasdromme updates Mr. Akonu about the Money Gram case:

Dear Mr. Akonu,

just one hour ago I got a call from Mr. Haudrauf Aufdiegoschen, one of the detectives of the Munich police who work in that case. He told me that after the interview of the state prosecuter this morning this evil man, Mr. Zaster Stinktnicht, convicted to all cases of embezzlement. This means that the police can return the money to the senders at once, or tomorrow, tops.

However, you will understand that Mrs. Volldepp and the Board of Governours gave me the strict directive that our company will NEVER again do any business with MoneyGram. We are sick of this criminal money transfer service. So please, Mr. Akonu, would you please tell me the means how you want to receive your money? Do you already have an account like you stated before, i. e. where I can wire the money into?

Best Regards

Stingade Schoasdromme

(Haudrauf Aufdiegoschen = Punches on your mouth)

Mr. Akonu answers Mr. Du Arschgesicht:

Dear Sir,

I am in total disagreement with the directives i got from your desk.I had you assure me from the outset of this deal that i will be reimbursed within the next twenty four hours of submitting the first photos.This is weeks and nothing is done yet in getting my wages over to me.

I am readily prepared to do my best for this firm with respect to their advertisement campaign but in a situation they don't stick to their agreements,i am afraid,i could either be used and not paid.Hence ,i will not continue with this project not until i receive my wages.I still keep to my stand,i have no contract yet with this firm.If all i could get afterall my endeavours in this project is threats to my appointment this,i am sorry,i wish you the best in your struggles while i face some honest projects.

Akonu

Akonu

"Nichts k�nnen und scheisse aussehen!"

(Note that he now adapted the company slogan and adds it to all his emails� nice lad!)

He finally wants his money and writes to Mr. Schoasdromme:

Dear Friend,

In relation to your mail,the re opening of a dollar account here in nigeria is not quite easy,i had added two noble nigerians who had operated a current account for over six years as my references to the Bank.They are still on the verification process and hence my account can neither be active not until few months though i am not too sure.

However,i would wish that i receive my wages as soon as possible,there must be some other reputable money transfer agencies around like the western Union money transfer,i think their services are very efficient ,why not try this agency.I had received money in the past from the united states via this agency.Perhaps this time around you will have to be too sure that the payments are posted immediately and do reflect in their system at once.You could probably warn the staff of the consequences of stealing your money,i am sure that would go a long way in making a safe transfer.I appreciate your assistance so far in this matter.

Akonu.

Akonu

� and gets the answer:

Dear Mr. Akonu,

thanks for your mail. Hm, your suggestion with Western Union sounds quite good. Well, it's also a money transfer service like Money Gram, but when you tell me that you already received money from the USA through this company I think they are alright.

I will look tomorrow to find a branch of this money transfer service.

Best regards

S. Schoasdromme

Dear Friend,

I hope to hear from you today just as you promised me but please be reminded that you ensure that the transfereing agent posts the record immediately to aviod these embarrasments again,probably warn her of the consequences of trying to steal the money .

Akonu

Mr. Du Arschgesicht doesn�t want to wait for the photos. He begins to get mad on Mr. Akonu�

Dear Mr. Akonu,

this is to inform you that your opinion is totally false.

You claim that you shall be reimbursed for your two volunteer photos by now. On the one hand, you are right, this normally works within 24 hours, tops. Please note that in your case, there were several exceptions:

a) It was YOU who failed to inform Mrs. Volldepp and lateron Mr. Schoasdromme about the way how to receive your money. The first time you asked me about your money was days after you sent the pictures to me. Just after that I found out that the money would have be prepared, but there was just no information here where to wire/send it.

b) It is not our fault that you don't own a bank account, like every normal human being in the world. All our promoters and also volunteers have bank accounts where our treasurer, Mr. Schoasdromme, wires their wages into. We had just one volunteer in the past who collected his money in cash here in our company building. By the way, how did you intend you represent our company and our products properly when you are even in lack of such little normal things like a bank account?

c) It was YOU who insisted on sending the money through this very insecure, expensive and slow means of a money transfer service. While we were quite uncomfortable with this from the very beginning, you still wanted to receive your money by such a money transfer service - and I think Mr. Schoasdromme already informed you about the bad things which occured in the meantime. Moreover, it is absolutely not OUR fault that this evil and criminal Mr. Stinktnicht embezzled all the money at Money Gram - again, this wouldn't have happened if we could've wired the money into a bank account of yours (as above!).

d) I don't know how you guys in Africa handle that - we Europeans usually fulfill contracts that we've signed. You signed a promoter's contract with this company and you are therefore supposed to deliver the work you promised in this contract. Since yesterday, your's and Mr. Mirselber's photos are missing. We learned that Mr. Mirselber is very ill and therefore has an excuse, but you don't have any excuse. You are nothing but violating your contract.

Moreover, I want to tell you that I'm very disappointed from you. I was the one who convinced the other Board Members of employing you in this firm. Without my help, you never would have had the chance of getting your time limit for sending in volunteer photos prolonged. Moreso, it was me who talked the other Board members into giving you a contract. Now you embarras me by proving me wrong against the other Board members, because you failed to fulfil your contract right in the first week.

I will think about the whole situation and tell you about my decisions tomorrow. Please note again that today 10 pm is your ultimate last time limit to fulfil the request for last week's photos.

Regards

Xxxxxx Du Arschgesicht

Dear Sir,

Thanks for your mail.Firstly,i understand that your firm is basically concerned with their goals with less or no attention paid to the workers well being.At the time of contact,neither Mrs Volldepp nor Mr stingade was introduced to me as the staffs of this firm.You neither asked me for my payment informations nor had your staffs introduced properly.I worked for you and after few days of submitting the photos and wrote you for my wages since you neither did and hence Mrs Volldepp was Introduced to me at a later date.

I am neither to be blamed at all,i had operated a savings account just like every nigerian,prior to this job i had applied for a foreign account which will be ready in few days,however,i had citited the money transfer services as most suitable to receive my funds and the tresurer with his experiences should have taken it as a point of duty to ensure this is efficiently effected as i had received funds via such serivices in the past,so why should i be blamed here?.I cannot resume a new contract not until i have the previous absolutely concluded.Note,i am however very willing to assist your firm on the conditions that i have my wages of the former assignment cleared off.

On the contrary,if you feel the best management decision at the moment is to dismiss me,i will accept it in good faith and maybe that is the way God wants it.I think i had just made my point.I am very sorry for the disappointment.

Akonu.

Mr. Schoasdromme found a WU office!

Dear Mr. Akonu,

this afternoon I was at the Western Union Office here in M�nchen. It is right across the street from the Main Station.

I have good news for you: The Western Union guy explained me how this system at their company works and that there is no possibility at their company to embezzle or steal money like it happened at Money Gram. Mentioning Money Gram: The police worked very good in this case, our company already got the full amount of money (2,950 EUR) back. It was wired into our company account.

To come back to Western Union: I sent the money into your direction this afternoon. Guess what - they even charged me less than Money Gram did! In addition, they introduced me to the very secure and safe means of transferring money they have. That sounded very convincing; I am positive that this time your payment will reach you immediately.

However, when I came back to my office from the Western Union, around 4 pm, I found an email in my inbox from the Board of Governours. They instructed me to hold back the money transfer details until tomorrow. They said that you are in violation of a contract you got and they want to wait and see what happens.

I have no idea what happened, but Mr. Du Arschgesicht's email looked like he was kinda mad on you. I don't want to tell you what you have to do, but if I were in your place, I wouldn't make him angry. He is a very kind and generous man, but he can get quite annoyed if employees are not doing what they are supposed to do. Just a little hint from my side.

Anyway, I have my orders and I have to obey these. You will hear from me tomorrow, just after I received further instructions from the Board.

Have a nice evening

Stingade Schoasdromme

He answers him:

Dear Friend,

I have taken note of your comments.Be rest assured that i do not wish to make Mr Xxxxxx agitated.I am such an honest and straight forward youngman.I had devoted my time and money in assisting your firm in the advertising campaign prior to the way and manner i was approached for this issue.

Right now,i do not have any finance whatsoever to carry out any further contracts with this firm and had this explained very well.I need a mobilisation thats all and if i can't get it then it is useless.If the board wishes to witheld my payment,perhaps that is what i get for trusting Mr Xxxxxx and had served him with my own finance,i loosed.We all have conscience''what goes around comes around''.I appreciate greatly your great concern and wish you the best while discharging your daily duities.Take care,Bye

Akonu.

Bad news! Mr. Du Arschgesicht dismisses Mr. Akonu!

Dear Mr. Akonu,

this is to inform you about the decisions the Board of Governours made in your case, after their meeting today afternoon.

After half an hour of discussion we came to the point that you are not capable of fulfilling the lowest standard of contract we have - three pictures per week. You failed to send in a single photo last week. This means that you don't take your job serious. It seems that you aren't really interested in being employed by this company. Therefore, the Board of Governours made the decision that you are dismissed with effect from today.

I'm totally disappointed that I gave you the chance to become a promoter/distributor for this company. Dozens of other, very talented volunteers would be keen on having this possibility - and you blocked one spot although you knew that you aren't really interested in this job.

I hope I will have more luck with the next volunteers!

Xxxxxx Du Arschgesicht

Thankgod the Board decided that Mr. Akonu will be paid at least for his volunteer photos�

Dear Mr. Akonu,

nice to hear from you. Just half an hour ago I got a directive from Mr. Du Arschgesicht. It seems that the Board of Governours and himself are quite mad on you. He told me that they dismissed you...?

Anyway, I got the straight order to pay you out for your past efforts as a volunteer. There's still the sum of 2,950 EUR which is yours.

As I told youl, I found a "Western Union" office near the M�nchen Hauptbahnhof. The guy there explained me everything after I told him that I don't want to have trouble again (like at Money Gram) and I want to have the safest means of transferring the money to you.

He said that in this case, it would be the best if I choose the "Western Union Secure" service to send your money. Here are the infos:

Username: Randall
Password: 01A3
Reference number: 1075397690218 (Note: This is NOT a MTCN!!!)
Amount sent: 2776 EUR (they charged 174 EUR for this WUSecure service!!!)

With these infos, go to www.wusecure.com/decoder and follow the further details to receive the informations how you can receive your money at Western Union Nigeria.

I think with this very secure sending system, this time it shouldn't be a problem for you to collect your money. Please drop me some lines when you got your money cashed!

Best Regards

Stingade Schoasdromme

Thanks to Emma Stralian for this nice timewaster�!

Mr. Akonu thanks Mr. Du Arschgesicht f�r his dismissal:

Dear Mr Arschgesicht,

Thanks a lot for your email and notifictation.As a matter of fact my inability to submitt those photos were due to lack of finance to carry out the project and you know that.No doubts,i accept your company decisions in good faith.My happiness lies on the fact each one of you knows the truth about this but i understand that we all pursue our varying personal intrest.I wish you a very nice campaign outfit.

Akonu

What the hell is going on with that WUSecure service�?

Dear Mr Stingade,

The whole thing seemed strange to me,i had visted this web page and had just discovered that it is not a registered site wth the western union,i had equall visted the Wu agent location close to me and but they said they are not aare of such services in western union.

Perhaps it is obvious that i cannot claim this fund since i have no valid informations as to whether this fund was transfered or not and where.I had wondered why you would have to use such services instead of the popularly used means that is conversant to me.I need to be clarified on the details of this pyment.

Akonu.

And about one hour later:

Dear Friend,

I do not accept your usage of the secure service,please reconduct this payment in the usual manner of western union.This current transfer seems fraudlent to me.

Akonu

It seems fraudulent to you, Mr. Akonu? Well, if anybody knows a lot about fraud then it�s a scammer like you!

That�s it until now. I don�t think he will get back to me. If yes, I will update you guys here. Hope you enjoyed the bait!

Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2007 12:09 am

Very nice bait!

Too bad you didn't slap the silly mugu a bit harder at the end of it all, but a nice time waster with some funny dialog.

419Eater is my life Joined: 11 Dec 2004 Posts: 294

Good lord! That's one of the longest one's I've seen in a while. What's the time frame on that one?

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 22 Mar 2007 Posts: 10

Excellent baiting. Since the mugu changed his name suddenly, you could have sent a 10 page document (Official Name Change Form?) to him and asked him to fill up the document, scan it and sent it back to all governors of the board. Anyway, very interesting bait. Keep up the good work.

Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 8:34 pm

SolidJoe wrote:

Good lord! That's one of the longest one's I've seen in a while. What's the time frame on that one?

It wasn't that long - Feb 28 until April 3 so far. Btw, he really came back to me and got a nice slap. He is still after his money, so this one will be continued I think. What an idiot! Laughing

Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 8:08 pm

Ladies and gentlemen, the bait goes on!!! Let's see what we can do more to Mr. Akonu...

He writes to both Mr. Du Arschgesicht and Mr. Schoasdromme...

Dear Mr Xxxxxxx,

I have wondered why Mr stingade will have to send an unregistered and fake website to me as belonging to western union transfer service.To clear my suspicions,i had been in contact with western union headquarters and they had taken note of my reports.

I had chosen to work with your company on a note of Mr Tajudeen's confidence in you.I had without doubt of any form nor disrespect worked and served your firm sincerely.All i get for my sincerity is this act of dishonesty and scam.I had submitted two good photographs which i had not received a dime for all i get is a dismissal letter from you.I now understand how your firm works,perhaps you have deceived me into investing in an unprofitable campaign which you ended up faking payments through money gram and now through a fake and unregistered website www.wusecure.com

I understand you run a scamist firm and you go about deceiving people in the name of running a meat production company.If what i have in my records are true about your personal informations ,i must get you indicted at last.I am doing my best now.

Akonu.

Akonu

"Nichts k�nnen und scheisse aussehen!"

Dear Mr. Akonu,

nice to hear from you again.

It is very surprising for me what I hear from you. I know that I had to dismiss you after the Board of Governours decided that you couldn't comply the contract you signed. However, I clearly ordered our treasurer, Mr. Schoasdromme, to pay you out at least for the two volunteer photos you delivered.

I thought that you already were in custody of this money? Didn't Mr. Schoasdromme send you the payment? And what are you talking about a "scamist firm"? How can you dare to call Blas & Wichs GmbH a scamist firm? I think it is not this company but YOU who is a scammer - in the end you signed a worker's contract without fulfilling it just a single week. In addition, I was totally disgraced among the members of the Board of Governours because I stuck so long to your person and was disappointed in the end.

You want to indict me? Nice. Which court will you choose for that lawsuit? The National Court of Nigeria? I am neither nigerian nor has your ridiculous third-world country any power over my person. A court in Germany? Fine. Come to our country and indict me. I have at least a dozen of good lawyers who will take care of you little boy.

Do you really think that a person of my reputation, Mr. Du Arschgesicht himself, does have any fear of a loudmouth like you? If you dare to threaten me once more, and if it's just a tiny little threat, I will at once call Mr. Schoasdromme to stop your payment and I will make a nice little party here in our offices on your expense. Got that???

B. Du Arschgesicht.

Let's see what he answer's to that little slap...

Dear Mr Xxxxxx,

I apologise once more if the tone of my previous mail irritated you..I had just reacted to the deceptive manner at which Mr Stingade had handled my payments twicely.I swear to God,i would have made the best promoter you firm had encountered in the meantime.My country is richly blessed with subtle green pastures and attractive vegetations for the rearing of all kinds of animals.Perhaps we have Africa as richly blessed with creatures of various sorts.I had without funds designed the initial slogans given to me and without much directives tried in creating out what your firm requested of me.Your firm chosed my work not because of your insistence but because of my goodwork perhaps you should have insisted on my retainment.

However,i do not wish to invest wastefully on a project that pays nothing to me in return.I had served you without any form of cheat on my part,i could only gain trust on your venture if i had received payments for my earlier job as agreed.How am i supposed to trust your capabilities in keeping contracts when i couldn't get the initial temporary agreement kept.Similarly,your firm is engaged in racism and disregard on we blacks as slaves perhaps thats the reason behind Mr stingade's scammed payments twicely(www.wusecure.com). How do you expect to enhance job security with such men of questionable intergrity as treasurers.

I have a good advice for ''Blas and Wichs'' if this firm is for real,in the intrest of consistent growth,it is pernitent that you employ men of reputation into delicate positions to avoid untimely crashing of this firm.If at the end of the whole process i do not get my pay,i will accept this in good faith as a negative reward to had trusted you,Mr Xxxxxx.Have a nice time.

Mr Akonu

Akonu

"Nichts k�nnen und scheisse aussehen!"

Note that he still uses the company "slogan" although he's already sacked...

Dear Mr. Akonu,

I received your letter and saw that you found back to a normal, polite attitude. I think this is the right way how we can solve your problem.

First of all, I don't think at all that Mr. Schoasdromme is scamming or deceiving you. I know for sure that in this Money Gram Case, he is absolutely not to blame - it was this criminal Mr. Stinktnicht who embezzled money at the Money Gram office.

However, I don't know why your money transfer doesn't work this time. I talked to Mr. Schoasdromme three days ago, when you first complained about not being able to get your money cashed. He said that he intentionally chose the securest way of a money transfer, which is WUSecure, as he was told at Western Union.

Anyway, I'll get back to him and check out if he can find another way of sending you the money.

Nice that you tell me that you wanted to be the "best promoter" in this company - actually you were the worst we ever had, not fulfilling your contract right in the first week. And don't tell me that it was the "lack of money" on your side - how in Jesus name did you intend to be a promoter/distributor of our company in Nigeria when you are so poor that you can't afford so little things like taking a photo - without being paid upfront? The only thing which is for sure is - you are greedy, like no one else on your continent.

Whatever - you missed a very good chance to get a high-paid job for years, which would you have made a rich man in your country. And everything just because of whining around "I didn't get the 2900 bucks for my first two photos, so I wont send in any more!".

You will hear from me tomorrow about your case

B. Du Arschgesicht

Dear Sir,

Thanks for your kind assurance.I am sure i can get my place back at your firm as soon as i receive my pay off,I do not see my request for pay as been greedy on my part.

I had preffered that Mr stingade uses the western union normal form of transfer as against the acclaimed Wu secure which they had denied having knowlegdeof,please their usual payment style is better or more common here.thanks

Akonu.

Akonu

"Nichts k�nnen und scheisse aussehen!"

You think you will be employed again after you receive your payment? NEVER (as for your payment and for being employed again...) !!! And hey, what about the 27 Mio $$$ his friend Tajudeen (=he himself) had to transfer into a foreign account?

Dear Mr. Akonu,

although it is Eastern I'm here working in our company. You know, as a member of the Board of Governours, you never have any holidays...

Well, maybe you misunderstand the meaning of the word "dismissal" - you will definitely NOT get back your place here in this company. We/I have dismissed you because of you refusing to do any work, and that means you will NEVER work for us again.

As for your payment, I sent an email to Mr. Schoasdromme and told him he should go to Western Union and call the money back (in case you didn't claim it yet). After that, he should send you the money by another means, I'm fine with the standard Western Union way (on your own risk, of course). However, Mr. Schoasdromme won't be at work earlier than tuesday - Easter monday is also a day off here in Germany, and no one is at work.

Here's a question I ask myself, maybe you know the answer: I wondered if Mr. Tajudeen, who contacted me in first place, already found someone to assist him in transferring this 27,8 Mio $$$ into a foreign account? Is he still working for the "United Bank for Africa PLC"? I hope he found someone, I was really sorry that I couldn't help him with his problem.

Anyway, keep me updated what's materializing concerning your payment. I'm positive we will get that problem solved.

Yours

B. Du Arschgesicht

Time to turn up the heat. I mail him from Mr. Schoasdromme's email addy and pretend to be completely drunk...

Hei Aknu,

I juust came homme from a nicee evening at te Hofrb�uhuas beer halll. I was outta tere wif all mei friends we celebratet Eastern.

It was so nice there and wie ar all DURNK now. I wantto tellu the truthh: I now taht u cnot get ur moniey in Negeria. I neva paid it to Wesstan Union. Wee used it tonitee for buyinfg beer. L0ots of beeer!!!

Thankk you agaiin for the nice evning!!!

S. Schoasdromme

PS.: Look at the foto how much fun wehad!!!

Pic

I took a pic I found on the net from Munich's most famous beer hall, the Hofbr�uhaus. Note that one of Akonu's trophy photos lays on the table...

Do you think that this one will put him over the edge??? To be continued...

Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2007 9:08 pm

Hope this isn't necroing - I want to complete this bait here... Very Happy

He sends the following email both to Mr. Schoasdromme and Mr. Du Arschgesicht...

Dear Mr Schoasdromme,

I had been directed Mr Xxxxxx that i will be receiving my wages today's morning via western union.I suggest you use the normal western union transfer services and perhaps give me a scan of the payment document.Note that i can collect my money here in nigeria as soon as this transfer is made through an honest means.I had spoken with the western union headquarters and they had me understand that their services are as safe and swift if they were properly and honestly conducted.

Easter was nice down here as well.I look forward to receiving the scanned document today.Have a blessed day.

Akonu

"Nichts k�nnen und scheisse aussehen!"

He seems that he didn't really understand what Mr. Schoasdromme told him...

Hey Akonu,

first I have to tell you that I had a very bad hangover today. I think I drank far too much beer yesterday.

What do you mean with "use the normal Western Union transfer"? I already told you yesterday that I don't have your money any longer. We used it for buying beer at the Hofbr�uhaus. Altogether we had a bill of 3,144 EUR, i. e. I had to spend nearly 200 EUR of my own money on top of your 2,950 EUR.

Hey, I should tell you all the best and a big "THANK YOU!" from my friends. We really enjoyed the evening on your expense. Don't be angry with me, I thought you are fired anyway, so why not using this three grand for having a good time out with my buddies?

Bye

S. Schoasdromme

He now realizes what happened to "his" money. He does no longer reply to Mr. Schoasdromme. Instead of that, he seeks help at the "boss", Mr. Du Arschgesicht, and attaches Mr. Schoasdromme's email...

Dear Mr Xxxxxx,

I had forwarded a letter i got from Mr stingade this evening.I want to understand why that should prevail after a supreior authority as would have me believe had directed their treasuer to pay a particular volunteer.Does that mean that discipline is not found amongst your staffs in such a reputable firm ?

My inability to continue as a promoter in your firm had been surrounded by your treasurers bid to keep back my funds in every work i do.Perhaps you would end up dismissing your whole staffs soonest with such a dishonest attitude from your treasury.I had attached his mail as a good evidence in this case.I anticipate your response.

Akonu

Akonu

"Nichts k�nnen und scheisse aussehen!"
(Email attached)

Within one hour, he sends another email...

Dear Xxxxxx,

I am quite sure this young man will be quite sure of the fact that i will have this mails forwarded to you.Does it mean that i am been insulted for a work i had carried out for your firm with respect to the campaign.

It will appreciative if you could spell out in clear terms that i won't be paid at all by this firm than what i get from Mr Stingade which i feel is wrong and insulting to my person.Does this whole scenario seem right to you Mr Xxxxxx?

Akonu C.

Akonu

"Nichts k�nnen und scheisse aussehen!"

Maybe he now realizes that this time he's the one who got scammed...? Mr. Du Arschgesicht answers him...

Dear Mr. Akonu,

I just came back to my office from a meeting with Daniel K�blb�ck, one of our most important dealers concerning cucumbers.

I have to tell you that I'm shocked about the things you tell me. I can't believe that our treasurer, Mr. Schoasdromme, really sent that to you. Well, the man on that photo with the blue sweater is definitely Mr. Schoasdromme, and I also recognize some of his friends at that table. Moreover, this morning he looked very tired and ate herring for breakfast - maybe he really was out at the Hofbr�uhaus yesterday.

Well, I think I will have to check into that case. I mean, if he really took your money and spent it on drinks at the Hofbr�uhaus, that will have severe consequences for him. He can't just deprive your money and invite his friends for drinks with your wages.

You will be informed what measures will be taken against Mr. Schoasdromme if it comes out that you told me the truth.

Best regards

B. Du Arschgesicht
Note that Daniel K�blb�ck is a totally ridiculous teen star here in Germany. He crashed a car into a huge truck transporting cucumbers, w/out having a driving license and so on...

Is there light at the end of the tunnel? At least Akonu believes that...

Dear Mr Xxxxxx,

Thanks for your information update,i am happy that the truth had unravelled itself at last.At the meantime,i had wished to appeal to you for the further release of my wages as it is clear to the board of governours that in line with their earlier decision,i have not received my wages yet.

I hopefully look forward to your response.

Akonu

"Nichts k�nnen und scheisse aussehen!"

Note that he still ends every email with the "company slogan"... Time to bring back an angry Mr. Schoasdromme into the game...

Hey Akonu,

what sort of an asshole are you? H�? Why did you tell Mr. Du Arschgesicht that I used the money for buying beer for my friends?

Wanna know what? He dismissed me because of that! I don't have a job any longer, and you fucking asshole are to blame for that! I hate you, like no one else!

Why couldn't you just come to me and ask me if I could pay it back to you in a mortgage? I hate you, and I tell you what - I will beg Mrs. Volldepp that she will never pay you the money. No one knows it yet, but I am her secret lover. She will do what I want. And I will tell her to stop your payment, and she will do it, because she doesn't like you anyway and she is kinda mad because I got fired.

No matter what you will do, I will stop your payment, believe me. And never dare to enter Europe in person, I will get you and cut your throat!

You son of a bitch

S. Schoasdromme

As a further documentation of that, he receives a copy of the dismissal letter from Mrs. Volldepp...

Dear Mr. Akonu,

Mr. Du Arschgesicht directed me that I have to dismiss Mr. Schoasdromme due to the fact that he didn't pay you your wages and used the money for making a party with his friends at the Hofbr�uhaus in M�nchen.

Note the attached dismissal letter for your perusal.

Best Regards

I. Volldepp

dismissal
(German-speaking members enjoy the text of the letter. All others: Note that Mr. Schoasdromme's new adress is the adress of the Munich prison!)

Akonu again seeks help from the "boss". He called me in the meantime and complained about not getting paid, having done such a good work, jada, jada, jada... His letter is written in the same style...

Dear Mr Xxxxxx,

I had attached the mail i received from Mr Stingade so you would take note of his comments on his relationships with and his purported plans Mrs Volldepp,just incase you are not aware of this.

Meanwhile,you sound so good and gentle on phone,i had wished to have a long conversation with you on phone,sorry,i ran short of airtime and my call units finished at the phone boot equally.But then sir,the truth lies that i had taken up this job with your firm based on Mr Tajudeen's recommendations about you.He had fixed for this job knowing fully well that i come from a poverty ridden home,a hardworking youngman,desirious of making a nice living out of the works of my hands than dubious means.I had seen your photos and you are more like a father to me,i had looked then with much respect and admiration.In all,you are my last advocate in this matter.

Of a truth,i need this fund,i had calculated the usefulness of the funds to me as it comes.I am a very sincere and honest person.I know what your firm needs and Mr Bolanz,just incase i get this fund,i promise you i owe you a lot in terms of devotions.I would scout for more good pics for though dismissed,i will do them and maybe perhaps,it will now be your decisons to whether to pay me or not.Do not underate people so easily because you might have miscalculated their importance and usefulness just in my case.My wages are very important to me.please help me address this issue,perhaps an honest western union conducted by you in person could get my funds to me here in nigeria.Thank you and may God Bless you

Akonu

"Nichts k�nnen und scheisse aussehen!"

Let's bring some more fun into this...

Dear Mr. Akonu,

thanks for your nice words. I see that you are back on the right way and you can express yourself courteously, without insulting or threatening me.

Well, as for the letter of our former employee Mr. Stingade Schoasdromme, you shouldn't attach much importance to that. Of course I know that he has a sexual relationship with Mrs. Volldepp. This is nothing special, as nearly everone in this company, me included, has sex with Mrs. Volldepp. She is one floozy, I can tell you...

However, it is quite surprising for me that you are telling me that you are such a poor and hardworking man. Mr. Tajudeen, when he first told me of yours, said (quote)

"Mr Chiagoziem Akonu,will be assisting your company very well in Africa as he is a trusted and reputable partner of mine."

so I thought that you are a wealthy businessman doing a lot of jobs with photos and signs.

Anyway, right now it is quite difficult for me to help you. Your money was spent by our former employee Mr. Schoasdromme, and in case you want your money back you have to claim it from him. If he refuses to pay you, I recommend you a lawsuit against him at the Munich Court. Here's the adress:

Amtsgericht M�nchen
Pacellistrasse 5
80333 M�nchen

Hey, here's one little hint: If you go there, take the subway or the street train. There's absolutely no possibility to park your car there.

In case you want to send in more photos (of course as a volunteer, you were dismissed as an employee), be aware that from April 15 on there'll be a new advertising campaign here in our firm. Our new slogan is "RINDVIECHER V�GELN MACHT SPASS" and has only to do with beef, so use nothing but cattle as a background. The other directives are the same like last time.

Best regards

Xxxxxx Du Arschgesicht

Note that the adress I gave him is really the adress of the Munich civil court. Let's see if he will file a lawsuit there...

Dear Mr Xxxxxx,

It is very wrong and un fair that i should take the direct consequence for a job i conducted for your firm and my funds got used up by your employee Mr Stingade,to the best of my knowldge your firm stands to face the risk of employing a man with questionable intergrity.

The issue of his dismissal letter to me is very senseless and useless to me.I am disapointed by the tone of your mail.I have it that your firm engage in defrauding youths and illegally using thier photos for public use.Mr Stingade never used my funds for beer rather,i see this as a plan to put me off.Well,i had this great respect for your age and had trusted you.I will do my best on this,i am not too sure what use this photographs is for but i will contact the Nigerian High Commission In Germany over this.I am convinced you are not prepaid to pay but had rather used my pics.MayGod jugde us.

Akonu

"Nichts k�nnen und scheisse aussehen!"

The "Nigerian High Commission in Germany"? What is this? Never heard of that. Maybe some scammer supervising authoritiy?

Dear Mr. Akonu,

thanks for your kind words.

I think you aren't aware of the German laws - according to these, you have to claim your payment from that person which had it last in possession - and that's clearly and frankly Mr. Schoasdromme. Of course your "High Commission" will also inform you about that fact when you complain there.

Anyway, if your "High Commission" shows up here in our company, I will inform them about what happened. There's nothing which I should be ashamed of - I did everything to make you earn what you deserve.

Best Regards

Xxxxxx Du Arschgesicht

He didn't get back to me now since nearly one week. Will this be the end of this bait? Cool

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