The Great Jewel Heist Safari: The Adventure Continues

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Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 11:06 pm

Thanks for your comments guys, this bait is just taking a breather, don't worry, I'll be ramping up the pressure on the lad soon. For now he is gathering his funds in Ghana so he can get back out there on the road Wink

Here is the second phone call the professor (aka harrya) made. I love this one... 1k3 starts to realise just what is going on with the professor and m1ch:

1k3 gets suspicious of the professor

The lad also sent a rather frantic email to M1ch to the same tune:

1k3 wrote:

Honey,

I am excited to hear that your OK?how is my son doing,hope his fine.i spoke with Sc0tt yesterday but i did not understand all his saying to me and secondly the number he used to call did not appear to my phone and i was trying to get his number to be calling you but he refused to give me his number.

Listen now?Mr Sc0tt his interest in you in fact his in love with you and you really know that but you think his nice I love you too harry Laughing

,he refused to give out his contact address not even a telephone number.listen and do as i told you now,dint give a chance to him and don't sleep off on him also be very very careful and smart then every people starting from now.

I have a malaria now and i am throwing blood so i don't know what is happening to me honey,am so worried because i don't know if i can be alive for this terrible situation Shocked

.but no matter what happen please take my son to my home country and be with my family but be more prayerful about my life okay. the doctor said that is all about the traveling but i will be alright soon.am sorry to inform you this,please try and give me a call so that i will believe your fine.

I really miss my son.

Your Husband.

I'm sure you do 1k3, i'm sure you do.

Meanwhile M1ch has sent a rather chirpy message to the lad (who is online as I type this btw. I love it when I keep him awake this late):

M1ch wrote:

hi baby,

i hope you are ok, it sounds quite serious. Is it contagious? I don't want the baby to get sick from your stick.

You're so cute and funny sometimes sweetheart. How funny to think that Mr. sc0tt is in love with me, that makes me smile. He is a nice man, he is just looking after me, that's all. He says he gets very lonely out on these expeditions all by himself so I htink that he is just happy to have someone to keep him company.

So when will I be seeing you baby, I am so excited now, from what you have said it seems you will be here any day yes? Do you have a doctor for me to see back home because it is very important i see one soon i think. also, is the buyer ready because i think these jewels are putting my life in danger now and we should sell them as soon as we can. i keep getting emails from father m4x saying he is in that town, whatever it is called, i think he is quite close. what should I do?

i love you sweety!

your wife

He'll no doubt respond shortly so I'll post that when I get it Wink

Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 11:56 pm

Red wrote:

...malaria...

Really, he should take better care of himself. After all, he is soon to be a father.

Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2007 9:16 am

I was just about to go out but I had to post this. Fresh off the press from 1k3. All sorts of goodies in here:

1k3 wrote:

Hi Honey,

Am getting OK now?how are you doing over there,i hope that everything is fine with you and my son 1k3.

about prof.Sc0tt i don't think is all that good as you think but in the other hand please be very very careful and smart okay.

honey i think your right about the jewels and the buyers are still waiting to hear from me over 3 months now but i keep on telling them that all will be OK soon, honey listen now you really need to see a doctor now because the baby i no longer getting small in your womb also you really need to be make love now so that the baby will be out fine okay Shocked

and who exactly does he suppose I should do this with?! Is this at all medically correct?.now i have contacted a white doctor in Lagos state Nigeria who will be taking very care about the baby everyday by day okay so don't worry about seeing a doctor because we have many doctor in our country remember that our country in the biggest country in the Africa and we are very good in English.

regards about father m4x or what so ever he called his name hey! that's his name buddy! get used to it! listen now and do as i said okay,don't give any attention to him neither to any body because our life's is in danger now we don't know who is who now.but as your with me nothing in this world will happen to us because i am a great Africa,very great Africa Rolling Eyes

also God is with me always so don't be panic of any think okay.

Honey i have to be on my way tomorrow been Tuesday to Mali but i will not come to the place you are because of security reasons and secondly prof Sc0tt refused to send the excite address and his contact number the only money i have now is for our transport fee and not for wasting,now all you have to do now is to get ready and be checking your mail everyday to know the time i have arrived in mail and i will send you a location address of the place i am so that you will come and meet me over there and we will travel immediately okay.

I really miss you and my son 1k3.

He won't come to me?

That simply won't do.

He can head back up to Bamako if he likes, but there's buckely's chance M1ch is trekking back down the Niger to him. It's all good though, I have a feeling when he's back in Bamako he'll be ready to rethink his approach.

Great idea about the doctor though mate, I'll be sure she sees one soon Wink

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 30 Jun 2007 Posts: 82

prof scott and ik3 both got heavy accents, but i can hear both quite clearly wonder why they dont understand each other.
ik3 will like to say"old boy' when the prof would just he call him 'mate'.

Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2007 10:37 am

Gee-jus for crying out loud how could the perverted old prof give any details the line was just soo bad. Smile

If you really want to rattle him tell him that the Prof is of course a doctor. And he has been doing the things that doctors and pregnant girls do. Albiet a bit rusty.
I'm sure one of our edjucated people here will be able to detail how to rotate the child in the womb to prevent a breach.

Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2007 10:48 am

There are no sound medical reasons to refrain from sexual congress during the early stages of a normal pregnancy. However, if the baby is almost due (you need to get your dates organised Red) then such activity can in fact hasten the onset of labour. Is 1Ke suggesting that M1tch prevails upon the good Prof to do the honours so 1Ke Jr arrives so she can travel more easily? Surely he can't be that callous and cynical?

Personally I'd tell him that the Prof, being a proud 'strayan, is planning to wager on tomorrow's M3lbourne Cup and has asked M1tch to lend him some gems to take down to the nearest bookie. I'm sure that even up the arse end of nowhere there's someone willing to take the bet? Very Happy

Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2007 11:13 am

^^^^

I've already put the Melbourne Cup into play on one of my other baits.

"I must admit there is not a city in this world as pretty as the country side Smile

"
I've also heard of sexual activity bringing early or a quick labor.
Or this just a myth.

EDIT

HOt Melbourne Cup Tips

The first horse will win
the second will be second
I think you get the idea

Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2007 12:15 pm

^^^^

Its absolutely true. Theres a chemical in sperm that can trigger the start of childbirth (hence midwives do advise mothers who have past their due date to indulge).

The second and potentially more fun angle, involves contractions. After an orgasm there are slight contractions which are sometimes mistaken for the real childbirth contractions.

Anyway heres the link http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/pregnancy_newborn/pregnancy/sex_pregnancy.html

Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2007 4:03 pm

When my wife was pregnant with my last child, she went about ten days past the due date. Our doctor told us to go home and try that. She said that there was no scientific research that she knew of to back it up (at that time) but that it was an old wives tale. However, she said, it wouldn't hurt to try.
(Didn't work though)
So then the next time she told us to go out to a Mexican restaurant and order her the spiciest thing on the menu.
(Didn't work either)
After that she said forget it, let's just do it with good old fashioned Pitocin.
I offered to take her home and try the first one again, but I was overruled.

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 30 Jun 2007 Posts: 82

Was watching 2 and half men a forthnight ago, where the guy gets horny on the sight of bloated tummy, when he was asked how sick he was in finding pregnant women super hot and desirable, his answer, 'when the bar is open 9 months a decade , you drink till you puke'

old men do have weird pervasions especially the ones that have been in a war or two, or ones that go around odd places digging up the earth, prof might doing more than mountain top calls and feeding mitch.

Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:41 am

Ok you are all as weird as 1k3 Laughing

. Who wants to put their hand up to do the deed with M1ch and get this thing rolling?

@ Gnasher - I really do need to sort out the dates... it's becoming quite problematic... Embarassed

Ok back to the man at hand, he's really grown very suspicious of the professor all of a sudden (can't imagine why Twisted Evil

). Let's see what he had to say:

1k3 wrote:

honey,

Honey listen to my email and don't make any miss take now.i got message from my pastor in Nigeria telling me that Mr Sc0tt is working with father m4x and they are interested i that jewels Shocked

so that is why he refused to give out his contact to me but God did agreed on their plans because your covered with blood of Jesus and nothing will happen to you.

last time,i got a message from father m4x telling me that he got information that your staying with a white man called Mr Sc0tt and i did not know how he got to know all this.but now Mr Sc0tt did not want to inform him about your way because his interested also. Rolling Eyes

Now honey don't even trust anybody not even Mr Sc0tt just be very very smart in all your doing until you see me,let me tell you something bear it in mind that Mr Sc0tt knows that your the one with jewels and i am the one searching to save you but his pretending not.i know all his plans now and don't tell me that his nice to you because i will got angry and live you,i have been telling you this before and you don't agreed on my advice now i have received the message from my pastor about my dreams.

now don't panic and don't listen to any of them starting from now and do as if you don't know all their plans,please keep this very secret between you and i if you really want to help your self and i,don't expose our mails to anybody in this world,

i want you to get your thing ready and don't let anybody to know not even Mr Sc0tt.i will be coming soon,

please be very smart,please be very smart,please be very smart,honey.

Your husband.

Yay, he's coming soon! jump_4_joy

Pack your bags M1ch!

M1ch has just responded this second. She's very accommodating isn't she?

M1ch wrote:

hi baby,

i understand everything you have said. i always trust you and you have always been right. i will do exactly as you say and not say a single word to the professor about any of this. do you really think he knows about the jewels? what if he tells someone?

i am so glad and relieved to hear you are on your way, i will see you very soon then it seems. i will be patient and try to keep out of view of anyone if possible. i promise to be very smart like you said. what am i to do if professor Sc0tt needs to move again though? oh, also i went to the doctor like you told me, i finally found one here and he cared for me and took a look at me but he does not speak any english. I don't know what he had to say, but he gave me a written medical report. i have attached it here, can you please tell me what it says? the only part i understand is when he stamped it for me. i really need to know so that i can tell the next doctor or something or if i have to take some medication, this is very important because it concerns out beautiful son 1k3. please tell me what it says so i know what to do, i am sure you will be able to get it translated for me because you are so wonderful and my husband always knows what to do.

i love you!

your wife

Attached medical report:

I forgot to ask him about who I should be having sex with, but I'm sure there's plenty of time for that in the next email.

HUGE thanks to the amazing and talented Heloise for writing up a brilliant report and also translating it into French. Not only is the report perfectly accurate in its medical jargon but the French is also exemplary, even has an African-French tinge to it! She truly is a master.

Another MASSIVE thanks goes to Marvinator for creating the graphics for the report. You'd have to agree, he's outdone himself once again.

Thank you both so much! clapping

So that's where we're at, just waiting in old T1mbuktu for the love of m1ch's life to rock up and make love to her so she can have the love child of her former master who is a crazy scotsman chasing her round West Africa looking for his stolen jewels. Sigh... just another day... Laughing

Oh, btw, for the english translation of the medical report, read below:

Medical Report in English wrote:

6 November 2007

GYN4ECOL0G1CAL EXAM REPORT
PHYSICIAN: Dr. Xxxxx-xxxx XXXXXX

PATIENT: M1ch3ll3 XXXXXX

DOB: 25 M4RCH 1981

EXAMINATION: Ob5tetr1c4l examination

VITAL SIGNS:

BLOOD PRESSURE: 130/90, marked hypertension.

HEART RATE: 110 (mild t4chyc4rd1a)

RESP. RATE: 30 (t4chypn0ea)

AU5CULT4TION: LUNGS: b4silar rales and rh0nchi; HEART: normal heart
sounds, no additional sounds or murmurs.

FINDINGS:

The s0nogr4phic examination is sub0pt1mal due to sub0pt1mal
s0nogr4phic technique. Despite this, within the rt F4ll0pian tube a
hyp3rech0ic focus is visible, which may be an incidental finding;
however, it may also indicate an ect0p1c pr3gn4ncy.

IMPRESSION:

1. Remote, but real, possibility of an ectopic pregnancy in the right
F4llop1an tube.
2. Blood pressure indicates possibility of pr3eclampsia, which cannot
be ruled out s0nogr4phically due to sub0pt1mal technique.

RECOMMENDATION:

URGENT EVACUATION TO SPECIALISED CENTRE.

Dr. Xxxxx-xxxx XXXXXX

Gyn4ec0log1st

H0pit4l R3gon4l de Timb0uct0u

Sorry for masking the whole thing and obfuscating but my instincts tell me that before asking someone else's opinion the lad will simply try a google search for the report first. Thanks.

Meanwhile the professor sent the lad a short and sweet email recently:

prof. sc0tt wrote:

Hello Mr. 0k0y3

It was wonderful speaking with you, I hope to hear from you again soon.

M1ch3ll3 is quite alright with me right now but she is anxious to see you. Could you please confirm when you will be arriving?

The lad didn't like that short response at all! Razz

He is really keen on getting the location details now:

1k3 wrote:

Hello Prof Sc0tt,
How are you doing,hope all is well with you and my lovely wife also with my baby boy.it was very nice to speak with you on phone in fact i really thank God almighty and i promise to pay back for all the kindness and care.

Pr0f, I have a malaria and i am throwing blood so i don't know what is happening to me ,the doctor said that is all about the traveling but i will be alright soon.am sorry to inform you this.

regards about the date of my arriving i will be on my way soon but please you have give me sometimes to get recover and i think i will soon be fine and find my way to locate you.
finally, i will like to have the excite address to locate you and your telephone number for calling as soon as i arrive over there.

Nice to hear from you and i believe that God will bless you more and more in Jesus Name Amen.

Yes, we are all excited about the address mate Very Happy

.

I actually believe him about the malaria. It's a story he is sticking to and Mali is particularly prone to malaria. In fact, it is rampant there.

Lonely Planet says this about Mali:

Lonely Planet wrote:

Mali is not the place to go for safaris. Laughing

Travellers are advised to avoid the regions bordering Mauritania and Niger as well as north of Timbuktu, as they are the domain of desert bandits. Surprised

More than 800,000 reported cases of malaria occur annually in Mali Shocked

The malaria mortality rate there varies between 16 and 25 percent

and that's only the reported cases....

Watch this space for updates Very Happy

Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2007 10:42 am

Sound like he needs to be told about the new radical treatment for Malaria.
Simply get an acquaintance to hold your head in a bucket full of holy water for 4 and a half minutes.
It works every time. I have never heard of anyone suffering from malaria nor any other problem after this sure fire cure.

Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2007 10:43 am

Red wrote:

I actually believe him about the malaria. It's a story he is sticking to and Mali is particularly prone to malaria. In fact, it is rampant there.

I've never known anyone with malaria to throw up blood before though. All of the people I have seen with malaria have had sweats and fevers. Some have had diarrhea. But none of them have thrown up blood.

He may have something, but I'm not that convinced that it is malaria.

BTW, the prenatal report was awesome. Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2007 12:03 pm

Lonely Planet wrote:

Quote:

Mali is not the place to go for safaris.

Travellers are advised to avoid the regions bordering Mauritania and Niger as well as north of Timbuktu, as they are the domain of desert bandits.

More than 800,000 reported cases of malaria occur annually in Mali

The malaria mortality rate there varies between 16 and 25 percent

I beg to to differ with Lonely Planet.
Rampant Malaria, high mortality rates, desert bandits...
What more could you want for a mugu safari destination.... Laughing

Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2007 6:16 pm

onyenekwu wrote:

old men do have weird pervasions especially the ones that have been in a war or two, or ones that go around odd places digging up the earth, prof might doing more than mountain top calls and feeding mitch.

Archaeologists do have a reputation for being a tad on the randy side. And drinking too much. (I speak as one with a degree in the subject!) Twisted Evil

Throwing up blood? Is it Ebola???? Shocked

Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2007 6:30 pm

Hekate wrote:

Throwing up blood? Is it Ebola???? Shocked

The way he's been carrying on about needing a doctor for the last month or two it almost sounds like dengue hemorrhagic fever, although that's more common in the pacific.

Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2007 6:34 pm

Are we taking bets on what nasty disease 1k3's contracted? if so I'll put my €20 on Tuberculosis.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:10 pm

or lung cancer, perforated ulcer...who cares, he's willing to travel! Very Happy

He'll have blisters on his feet in a month or two...hehehe Laughing

Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:56 pm

Malaria doesn't have "throwing blood". It could be dengue, but, fuck, if he has dengue, he is out of commission for at least two weeks. Dengue is miserable, and, often the second time, fatal.

And archeologists do drink too much, and behave poorly, sometimes.... Ik3 must be worried....

Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2007 9:20 pm

And should he contract dengue fever plus malaria he's in for some long-term pains. I know someone who caught both - and is recovering from major connective tissue damage. Apparently it's not uncommon.

Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2007 9:51 pm

If it is d3ngue, then 1k3 had better hope it doesn't turn into d3ngue shock syndrome.

Wiki entry (condensed):

Quote:

A small proportion of cases lead to d3ngue shock syndrome (DSS) which has a high mortality rate. Shocked

Diagnosis
The diagnosis of d3ngue is usually made clinically. The classic picture is high fever with no localising source of infection.....<medical terms masked in case 1k3 does google search >

The WHO definition of d3ngue has been in use since 1975; all four criteria must be fulfilled:

1. Fever
2. tendency .........vomiting blood, or bloody diarrhea)
3. (<100,000 platelets per mm� or estimated as less than 3 platelets per high power field) <whatever>
4. Evidence of plasma leakage

D3ngue shock syndrome is defined as dengue haemorrhagic fever plus:

* Weak rapid pulse,
* Narrow pulse pressure (less than 20 mm Hg)
or,
* for age;
* Cold, clammy skin and restlessness.

Serology and PCR (polymerase chain reaction) studies are available to confirm the diagnosis of d3ngue.......

I hope all the stress doesn't add to it. Rolling Eyes

Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2007 11:31 pm

Strewth... doesn't sound very good Shocked

From what I can gather the lad has been sick for some time. He has been complaining about needing to go home to get medical attention for at least 3 weeks.

There's a good chance he's also lying about it, but generally when he lies he doesn't repeat it over and over. From the emails I have read I'm pretty sure he's as sick as he claims to be. So you guys reckon the quack who looked at him might have misdiagnosed him? Hmmm... that could be troublesome...

Amazingly the lad came through with the goods for M1ch regarding the medical report, here's the email he sent in response to hers:

1k3 wrote:

Hello My Only Life,

I am happy that you really understand all i said and i believe that you will do exactly what i said to help your self and i okay,in case Mr Sc0tt wants to move you again please don't expect but keep me inform first also don't let him know that day that am coming.

Honey, i have read the Medical Report and this is the observations from the Dr report.

listen honey i think you really need to see a white doctor in Nigeria because i don't really understand what the doctor said over here and i hope that my baby is fine because if anything happen to him i will never take cool on anybody.go to the doctor back and get his contact number so that i will call him and speak with him okay.
i will be coming soon over there and if your going to the doctor please write this out and give to him,

M�decin je veux avoir votre num�ro de contact mon mari veut parler avec vous. it means that i really need his contact number.

Do that and get back to me immediately their is no time to wast.

Now m1ch is really worried... that sounds pretty serious! Let's see what she had to say:

m1ch wrote:

my darling,

sweety i have read your email and i am really worried now. i don't know what that means but it sounds very serious. I am hope to God that our baby is ok.

You told me that i have to make love for the good of the baby, when do i have to do this? who do you suggest i should be doing this with? i don't really know what to do but if it is what is best for the baby i should do it right? please tell me what you think is the best course of action because I am also very ready to make love too, my breasts are very sensitive and aching for love sometimes and i am always wet down below when i think about you. what should i do?

i am not sure when i will be able to get back to the doctor, it is a very long wait, there are many sick people. i am also very worried about you my love, you sound like you are not in good shape, what have the doctors said today? will you live? i could not bear going on in life thinking it would ever be without you. If you are throwing up blood can you get AIDS? please don't get AIDS baby, i have read that it is not good.

so i think Mr. sc0tt might be getting suspicious because i haven't said anything to him about anything, and he is looking at me funny. he has not done anything mean though so it is all ok but what am i to do? when are you coming to take me home? i read what you wrote in the doctors report in english and it sounds like i really need to get to a hospital with a white doctor very soon. ok, i love you so much that my heart beats like a rampant river, i love you and always will.

your wife

Not really sure where I was going with that... but should be good for a laugh in his response Razz

Elite Baiter Joined: 11 Jul 2007 Posts: 1979

Not that it would matter but isn't she too far along to have an undiagnosed ectopic pregnancy? They rarely go beyond 4 to 6 weeks. I had one and had to have it terminated quickly before it ruptured the fallopian tube and killed me.

Preeclampsia occurs in the second half of pregnancy, so what stage is she in, weeks or months?

Sorry if I'm picking nits, but here you are worried about Ik3 doing a google for the medical report when the conditions are what don't really jive. I doubt there's anything to worry about anyway. The 'quality' of the document is superb!

Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2007 12:22 am

@ Oldbaglady - Thank you for letting me know Very Happy

I'm not really too worried about it because there's no chance he's going to understand what it is, even if he does google it, and at the end of the day, he's going to believe what the doctor says over what google says. I don't think he really has too much time on his hands to be worried about it, but hey, even if he does, I'll just say that's what the doctor said and blame it on Malian doctors Razz

Oh, by the way all, I crunched the numbers, M1ch found out she was pregnant on July 11th 2007. Let's say she had been up the duff for 4 weeks when she found out... that would make it 5 months in a few days.

Plenty of time to play yet Twisted Evil

Trophy Videos · Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2007 12:53 am

This guy is soooo hooked right now! Very Happy

The big crash at the end is going to be sooooo desvastating.

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