The Great Jewel Heist Safari: The Adventure Continues

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Posted: Mon Oct 15, 2007 8:53 am

Josh wrote:

Timbuktu is in Mali. That would be the holy grail to get him to Timbuktu!

Its my holy grail to lure a mugu to Timbuktu, and thats for sure.

@Red I have been thinking for awhile of how to tempt someone up there, if you are interested in what I have so far, please feel free to IM me, and I'll hand it over to you. But I suspect that you already have your plans carefully laid out for this laddie... Very Happy

Posted: Mon Oct 15, 2007 10:55 am

Whats with this "bloob of Jesus" is it like a 2000 year old practical joke?

Posted: Mon Oct 15, 2007 4:15 pm

Red,

Well, I wasted a perfectly good morining reading this baiot, and all I can say is that you are absolutely amazing. I Laughed, I cried, I wpt tears of joy, and of sorrow. I give it 2 thumbs up!

Hahahah, now, if we can send IK3 and 3d to Bahamas.....

Respectfully,

Doc

Posted: Mon Oct 15, 2007 10:35 pm

Quote:

I cannot wait to feel your taunted nipples too

Bugger - that's another ruined monitor and keyboard Very Happy

How far along is this pregnancy? There might be some scope for an obstetric emergency that requires treatment in a famous maternity hospital in, oh I dunno, Timbuktu?

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2007 12:33 am

@ Simba - PM on the way... I am using a few techniques but I would be very happy to hear what you have in mind.

@ Harry - Laughing

Biblical toilet humour?

@ Doc - I am very glad that you enjoyed the bait so much. I think the range of emotions you encountered were a nice spectre of those that 1k3 is also encountering on a daily basis. If I can get him and 3d to share a flight to the Bahamas on a freighter full of chickens I will do my best! Very Happy

@ Gnasher - Brilliant idea! She's coming along quite nicely... it would still be very premature, but hey, it's africa, everything grows faster there (right?).

New emails from the lad to M1ch. Email 1:

1k3 wrote:

Honey,

I want to inform you that i have finally receive 100 USD from uncle now and i believe that the money will take me to kid1ra to save you and my baby. please i want you to understand that father m4x is not good as you think,listen that man has interest in that jewels thats why he doesnt allow me to see you also his plan is for me to keep on spening my money until i lose hope but you dont know what is happening your thinking that his a good man!

i want you to stand strong in God Alimighty and tell him to fight against them that are fighting against you i really believe that we will see each other soon just be praying because i will be on my way, and i want you to look for a hotel or guest house over there to be sleeping until i come over and deposit your passport with them tell tham that your husband is coming tomorrow to pick you and will pay for the bills then email me the hotel or the guest house name and address!

Please dont lose hope because everything is okay now and be prayerful in God almighty.

your husband!

Excellent, he's cashed up and ready to travel. He's not happy with M1ch's attitude regarding the Father though... how would he bloody feel if he was forced to live in a chicken coop because he was told to run away from the only person who has actually helped him? Evil or Very Mad

Email 2 to m1ch:

1k3 wrote:

Honey,

I was so excited that i got some money from my uncle , God has done it again . This also tells you that God is always with us and He will surely see us through . Please , another thing i see that is very important is that , you have to describe the area of where you are. also you should use a remarkable things to enable me to locate you. Things like sign boards, Tall buildings and the colour ,if there is any. Any type of fruit trees around , motor parks if there is any , the name of the cyber cafe that your using and where is located and any other things you feel is necessary. If you able to get a hotel , tell me the name of the hotel , the colour and how many story building the kind of buildings around the hotel , where the hotel is located and any other things you feel that is very important to enable me reach you easily in kid1ra.

I will move from here in ziguinchor around 4:00am tomorrow morning to enable me locate the kid1ra on time please stay strong and dont lose hope or panic i am on the way okay!

Sheesh you'd think he was worried about not finding me! Rolling Eyes

I'll let him sweat for a little bit.

The father, however, will respond today. I'll update the thread later with that info.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 20 Aug 2006 Posts: 9

Maybe he wanted you to call on the BOOB of Jesus and his holy taunt nipples?

I still can't believe he's still hooked! I thought for sure when he had to sell his phone that it was it! Very Happy

I'm glad my entertainment has not died! Very Happy

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2007 1:30 am

This lad is the gift that keeps on giving. I think he must be afraid to go back home. The buyer for the jewels probably gave him an upfront payment to go get the jewels and now if he goes home emptyhanded he will be in trouble with the big boys.
I'm actually growing quite fond of him. I hope when he finally twigs (if ever) he will be somewhere nice and comfortable. Somewhere with three hots and a cot. Because he deserves it.

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2007 1:51 am

@ Michael - I was really hoping that would happen in Gambia. From reading his emails it sounds like it almost did too. Just couldn't quite get it over the line... should gave called in a tip off... oh well, i'll keep plugging away.

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2007 4:51 am

As promised, update from the good Father. Not much going on, just making the lad feel more guilty Twisted Evil

Father M4x wrote:

Dear Mr. 0k0y3

What do you suggest we do?

I have had no word from her and we have been unable to find her. It is like she has vanished. Even the local people here are unaware of anything out of the ordinary and have not been able to provide us with any useful information.

I can not see many options short of police intervention here. Please let me know your thoughts. I pray that the baby is safe inside her. If she or the baby is hurt I know that God will be swift in his judgement against whoever did this to her. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this soon.

Master Baiter Joined: 18 Aug 2007 Posts: 105

Simba wrote:

EDIT: Check out the 'Nikon' photo on page 5. Ring any bells... Laughing

This is a trophy picture! i laughed so much when i saw it.

Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2007 1:46 am

Morning everyone. Good news:

The lad's on his way!

Here's what he had to say:

1k3 wrote:

Subject: I am very close to you now.

Honey,

I havent heard from you since, Hope all is ok! please i want to inform you that i am now in a town called T4mba senegal very close to Kid1ra,we just arrive here at night and we can not contiune the journey because is late, please i will be with you tomorrow the people here told me that is about 6 hours journey from here to Kid1ra please stay where ever you are and dont be panic am very close to you now, try and read all my email and let me know on how to locate you okay!

Love you somuch.

I cannot confirm anything via IP except that he is still in Senegal and that the IP address has definitely changed.

That said, he has no reason to lie, he has nothing to gain by it. I'll keep you all informed of any developments, I am sure he is on the road... sounds like a fun trip!

@ Simba - have you ever done this journey?

Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2007 2:16 am

@Red
Tell the lad to slow down a little bit. My abs are still hurting from the last go-round. Very Happy

Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2007 8:21 am

I think 1ke has totally forgotten about the scam and now totally believes his fantasy about rescuing his wife and child. He hasn't asked about whether the jewels are safe for a long time - he's lost the plot completely.

Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2007 8:45 am

@Gnash - I think he is in so far that he has to believe in the story. It was
only yesterday he said

Quote:

isten that man has interest in that jewels

I think he is still very jewel orientated. He's screwed if he goes home.
If he ever met m1ch I don't think she would live two breaths after he saw the jewels.

Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2007 9:00 am

Red wrote:

@Simba - have you ever done this journey?

No Red.
I have been up and down the coastline of Senegal & travelled 'up river' through the Gambia, but I have never been to the eastern regions of Senegal.

Why do you ask?
I hope that you aren't going to start baiting me for a safari as well...??? Laughing

Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2007 4:53 pm

Red, I don't know how to tell you this, but he sent the "God is in control!!!!!" letter to Alicia almost a year ago - complete with gender confusion and taunted nipples! I must say I'm disappointed that he's recycling his love letters! Laughing

Fl0ra emailed today looking for details of the WU payment - H4mish told her he'd sent her the receipt by email. No reply as yet.

Master Baiter Joined: 18 Aug 2007 Posts: 105

Red, what do you think he means by "WE just arrived here at night and WE cannot continue..."

You think he is refering to his transport or he is not alone?

Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 3:46 am

@ 419buster - An interesting point... I didn't pick that up, I assumed he meant "we" as in him and the people in the transport he was travelling in. In Africa one of the most common forms of transport is in vans/mini-buses. They load up as many people as they can and drive to where ever they're headed. People get on and off according to where they are going. It is possible he took the lad he met in Senegal with him but I highly doubt it... I mean... would you go with him? Laughing

@ Simba - I only ask because I wanted an insight into how arduous the journey might be... incidentally, I have a trunk you might be interested in... you're a distant relative of Mr. P.C. Simba right?

@ Hekate - thanks for the update.

@ Gnasher - to be honest I don't have a clue where his head is at now. I think he's still in for the jewels, I don't think he's forgotten about them yet, but I agree, he is getting keen on keeping M1ch for his wife Shocked

.

@ Harry - you'll like this new update, the door is opening... Wink

Ok all, here's the update you've all been waiting for. So the lad is in Kid1ra as I mentioned and I have been letting him sweat. This is a tactic I've used a lot on him and it has pros and cons.

Cons: are that after 2 days of no communication he tends to freak out and go to the brink of giving up. It always results in a "i'm sorry, i'm going back to nigeria" email.

Pros: are that when he does eventually hear from her he's so excited that she's alive that he forgets about everything else and commits to whatever is required.

I think I pulled the string a little too tight on this occassion as he is pretty much stranded now, but I have done my very best to re-engage him (as you'll see in M1ch's email below).

Sit back, grab a coffee and enjoy.

Email 1 from the lad:

1k3 wrote:

Subject: I am in Kid1ra now...

Honey,

How are you today,i havent heard from you since and i hope that everything is ok! i am now in kid1ra searching for you everywhere to save you and my baby but i cant locate you, please i am straned over here in kid1ra searching asking peoples about you but noway,
please talk to me to know that your alive with my baby okay!

He's stranded... that can't be good...

After 3 days of not hearing from M1ch the rope nearly snaps. Email 1 from the lad:

1k3 wrote:

Subject: I am going back to Ziguinchor

Honey,

I have searched for you all over there kid1ra town and any place i can think of but i dont see you neither my baby, the people here said that they did not see you also, i dont know what to do now i almust use all the whole 100 USD for the transfer and i dont know how to go back to ziguinchor now,this is the cos of father m4x telling me lies.

Please tell me where you are now and i will know what to do.i am planing to go back to ziguinchor now but i am not sure that the little money i have here will take me to ziguinchor but i will try and see help! i will try to inform my uncle again about money to come back to nigeria.

Your husband!

Exclamation mark indeed!

Tsk tsk...

Lol... when in doubt, blame Father M4x... it's becoming a nice maxim for the lad (*no pun intended Wink

).

As you can see, he's had enough of Kid1ra already, luckily m1ch is just in time to let him know that things are ok. It's a long story but I suggest you read it, I think it's a nice twist and while probably entirely unbelievable, is about par for what this lad expects these days Laughing

Enjoy.

Email from m1ch to the lad:

m1ch wrote:

baby,

oh my god, thank god i finally got to the internet. i have been so worried, it has been horrible, this has been the worst experience of my life, i nearly died.

i got your messages, thank god you're in kid1ra ok. i am so sorry i couldn't respond earlier but it has been a terrible time for me.

when i last read your messages you were telling me to get another taxi to you in that place you were staying so i tried again and i met who i thought was a very nice arab man. he took what little money i had left and told me he would take me there. it was a long journey and we travelled for hours and hours and through the night, when i awoke i found that we were in another town. i asked him where we were and he said that it was near the place you were so i was very excited. we travelled a little bit more, maybe an hour and then we stopped. he told me to get out. i didn't know what to do, i thought we were in your place but when i looked around i saw no signs. i thought something was very wrong because he was looking at me funny and he was saying something in another language, i think arabic on a radio, so i tried to get away, he tried to keep me there and he was looking at my bag the whole time (the one with the jewels in it). I didn't know what to do so i ran away. he chased me and i didn't know where i was going, he caught up with me eventually and he hit me in the head and i fell unconcious, i woke up and i was in the boot of his car, i was screaming but no one could hear me. eventually we travelled for a few more hours and then stopped. i was so scared i thought i was about to die, then when he opened the booot to drag me out i scratched at his eyes and i kicked his groin, he fell back and used a tyre iron in the back of the car boot to strike him on the head. he hit the ground and i ran again, crying and no knowing where to go.

it is a miracle though because as i was on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere a jeep came along and inside was an english man! he stopped over with his driver and they picked me up. he told me that we were not far from a place called k4yes and that he would take me to hospital in some big city place that sounds like bam4aco or something. i told him that i couldn't go to hospital because i am worried about the police (i lied and said it was because i thought the police were the people who did this to me). when he finally believed me he agreed to take me back to the place he was staying and clean me up and look after me. i am now with him here after a few more hours of travel. he has given me food and has helped me. he says that i need to see a doctor soon because of the baby. he seems like a very good man, he told me all about himself, where in england he is from. he is a history professor of university back in the UK and he is on an archeological did or something here. i don't really know anything about this but he is looking after me now. i am not sure how close this is to you now, i hope it is not far, i haven't told him anything yet, but i am ok and my head is healing as it was bleeding quite badly. i am very worried about what the stress will do to the baby, but everything is ok i thinik.

the jewels are safe and everything is gonig to be ok. please come and get me now and take me to the doctor for the baby, i think i really need to see a doctor about our little son 1k3 incase things go bad. i am waiting for you, i will get the address off him in the morning, he is a very good man i think because he has looked after me this well so far. his name is Pr0f3ssor Rup3rt Xxxxx, have you ever heard of this man? i love you baby, i am staying here and will see you soon i really hope. this looks like a big city but we only just arrived, i dont know but people don't speak my language i dont think. i love you so much, i cant wait to see you soon. i thank god so much that he has protected me from evil, i know it because you are praying for me. we will be together i know this for sure now, nothing can stop our love, this is proof that god has intervened with fate and that we will be married together forever so happy with our fortune. please come and pick me up now and tell me what to do because i am scared as i didnt htink you were coming to kidira because you kept telling me to come to you in some taxi and i tried and i told you i was robbered and you told me to try again and i did and this is horrible thing happened, i am very stressed about it. please i love you, i will see you so soon, come and take me home my love.

all my love to you my dearest husband, your wife

Quite a journey for M1ch! I don't think she's all too concerned with the lad's trials right now. Really can't wait to see what he has to say about this one!

(For those playing at home, K4yes is a town in Mali that is on the road from Kid1ra. It is the typical stop point when travelling between the countries before or after reaching/crossing the border. It is quite a long way in land Mali though. Bam4aco on the other hand refers to the capital of Mali which is actually spelled as Bam4ko, but of course M1ch doesn't know this. Let's see if the lad can connect the dots (i'm not holding my breath).

Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 3:55 am

Quote:

Really can't wait to see what he has to say about this one!

F8ck me, mate! You are not the only one! Hahahaha! I can't wait to hear what he says next!

Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 8:48 am

Have to say Red, I really wouldn't like to get on the wrong side you you - you have an evil streak a mile wide! Laughing

Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 11:25 am

Nice work

Rupt sounds like a really nice guy.

Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 1:02 pm

On the road to Timbuktu!

Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 5:11 pm

Red wrote:

i didnt htink you were coming to kidira because you kept telling me to come to you in some taxi and i tried and i told you i was robbered and you told me to try again and i did and this is horrible thing happened, i am very stressed about it.

Using his own little word-tricks against him, i see. Fabulously done.

If you can get him to Tumbuktu, don't forget to ask him to send you a postcard.

I think the other name for Timbuktu is Tombouctou. Just FYI.

This thread just keeps amazing me every time you update it. You've taken safari to a whole new level. This isn't a safari. It's a tour. How many countries is that now? Eight? I lost count.

Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 6:16 pm

Quote:

@ Simba - I only ask because I wanted an insight into how arduous the journey might be... incidentally, I have a trunk you might be interested in... you're a distant relative of Mr. P.C. Simba right?

By West African standards it actually looks to be a very decent road, so it wouldn't be a rough journey in itself, but still a very long boring trip.
I am guessing, but it would have to take a good 10 hours I would think., but I'll get that checked out.

So whats this about a trunk..?

PS - I have posted an appeal for help with my website, so if that goes live, you are very welcome to use it if needed.

Keeping fingers crossed for you mate.
Cheers,
Simba

Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 7:41 pm

Your bait never ceases to amaze me! I can't believe that you've got him on safari this long!

I like Bolton's idea. Have you thought to possibly ask him to send his future parents in-law a nice postcard to you? They must be getting worried that their daughter hasn't contacted them in ages.

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