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Murry Guru
Baiting Guru
Joined: 11 May 2007
Posts: 5561
Location: Turned into Ralph
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Posted:
Sat Oct 13, 2007 4:01 am |
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Next weekend I will be giving away my youngest sister in law at her wedding.
I have known her since she was 2 so she is very much like my own little sister.
When I gave away my last sister in law I was able to just wing it but this time arround it is much more formal and allthough I believe I can just wing it again lovey believes I should be spending my time writing a speech rather than baiting scammers.
She just does not understand like you lot would so here I am asking for help.
In light of the recent tyre checking posts it seems some have a little extra time on their hands so if you dont mind I need a speech.
Preferably one that is already written and I can just replace the name and then we can all get back to tending to our pets
Any help would be great |
_________________ "I want to hold your hand and let you scream at me while you bring our child into this world"- Linda Lopez
Bait with Frumpy on the hitman "i though we are partners in this and now u turn around to stub me on the back"
Click to learn how to romance bait Click to get your name in mugu gold
Got info on a scam vic? PM a mod Recieved a scam warning? Say "thank you, I am a baiter"
Ruin your pets day, post their details at scamwarners
<- I run like a girl
x12 ? not enough
<- this one belongs to Ralph. |
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Reaper
Hello I'm New here!
Joined: 06 May 2007
Posts: 0
Location: Travelling in a fried-out combie. On a hippie trail, head full of zombie...
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Posted:
Sat Oct 13, 2007 5:56 am |
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Good opening:
I am told Wedding speeches should be like a miniskirt, long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to keep you interested.
Another one is reading off lots of compliments about a person, say your Sister in Law and then saying I can't read the rest of your handwriting, then just go into the schmaltzy stuff
I recently went to my uncles wedding so I can vaguely remember some parts of the speeches.. |
_________________ 110+
x15 x18 50+
Shola - 4.3k miles Lagos - Abidjan | Lagos - N'Djamena, Chad | Lagos - Sokoto "i have not eaten anything except water"
Mr Floyd - Lagos - N'Djamena, Chad | Lagos -N'Djamena --> Abeche, with RS (7 days in hell ) "we are dieing here"
Art Trophies: <a href="http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=129502">Eva Bust</a> - <a href="http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=135167">Reaper's Art Gallery</a>
- I am the King of Rome, and above grammar
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Murry Guru
Baiting Guru
Joined: 11 May 2007
Posts: 5561
Location: Turned into Ralph
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Posted:
Sat Oct 13, 2007 6:13 am |
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Good work Reaper
I'm taking notes here and I do like the start already
Thanks for the start, more help will be needed |
_________________ "I want to hold your hand and let you scream at me while you bring our child into this world"- Linda Lopez
Bait with Frumpy on the hitman "i though we are partners in this and now u turn around to stub me on the back"
Click to learn how to romance bait Click to get your name in mugu gold
Got info on a scam vic? PM a mod Recieved a scam warning? Say "thank you, I am a baiter"
Ruin your pets day, post their details at scamwarners
<- I run like a girl
x12 ? not enough
<- this one belongs to Ralph. |
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Miss Behaving
Master Baiter
Joined: 20 Apr 2006
Posts: 190
Location: Down the bookies
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Posted:
Sat Oct 13, 2007 8:40 am |
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http://www.weddingchaos.co.uk/otherparticipants/father-of-bride.asp
In brief, talk about:
# How well the wedding has gone so far (if it hasn't, think of something nice to say, but don't leer about the bridesmaids as I once saw a FoB doing.
# Thank all the guests for coming.
# Comment on how you�ve watched your daughter grow up and change into a mature beautiful woman, and that you are proud of her and what she has achieved. (insert anecdotes about childhood, etc)
# Mention how you were introduced to your son-in-law and what your first impressions were, and how you have seen the relationship he has with your daughter evolve. (avoid anything too racy - apart from being icky, the best man will probably cover that)
# Say how you feel about your son-in-law, without saying the old clich�, I haven�t lost a daughter but gained a son.
End with a toast to the bride and groom. |
_________________ Come to the dark side, we have sweeties.
I bait scummy flatshare/rental scammers. PM the details if you encounter one!
x 5 |
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Murry Guru
Baiting Guru
Joined: 11 May 2007
Posts: 5561
Location: Turned into Ralph
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Posted:
Sat Oct 13, 2007 8:47 am |
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Good advice thanks for that,
I will take a look at that link in a moment
Not that it makes much difference to the speech, my father in law died quite a few years ago and as I have been married to my wife now for 18 years I have become the big brother and the number 1 chioce for the fathers roll with my sister in laws as they get married so I dont lose the sister in law either way, but I do gain another drinking partner (sorry Brother In Law) at the family BBQs.
Edited to add more words of thanks to Miss Behaving,
That site is great, plenty of good tips in there that will come in real handy |
_________________ "I want to hold your hand and let you scream at me while you bring our child into this world"- Linda Lopez
Bait with Frumpy on the hitman "i though we are partners in this and now u turn around to stub me on the back"
Click to learn how to romance bait Click to get your name in mugu gold
Got info on a scam vic? PM a mod Recieved a scam warning? Say "thank you, I am a baiter"
Ruin your pets day, post their details at scamwarners
<- I run like a girl
x12 ? not enough
<- this one belongs to Ralph. |
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The Man
Baiting Guru
Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Posts: 2885
Location: La La Land
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Posted:
Sat Oct 13, 2007 10:35 am |
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@Murray: Can't remember the title of the one I used, but there are tons of good books out there on the subject. Had one that saved my butt. I was best man in three weddings (two brothers and a best friend). I'd hit the library after searching amazon.com. |
_________________ ---
The Man
YOU ARE A CHILD OF SATAN WITH YOUR HUNGRY DIRTY BODY ,TUNDER FIRE YOU BIG HEAD IDIOT !!! HA HA HA HA HA
IS THIS HOW YOU DECIDED TO TREAT US AFTER ALL WE WENT THROUGH?YOU MADE US TRAVELLED TO ABUJA AND INDEBTED US.
"Cursed is your mother that gave birth to a family-disgrace like you. Cursed is your father he could not control his lust for anything under skate"
"hey u crakhead motherf*cking nitwit, from the way u express the cockamamy sh*t that ur dumb brain is made up of it's so obvious that u never really made it past elementary school but anywayz dogs don't have to go to school afterall."
(Lagos to Abuja)
x2
<---in lieu of a brownie. TS
x8 |
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irishemigrant
** REMEMBERED **
Joined: 22 Jul 2007
Posts: 4933
Location: 40*45' S 172* 34'E
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Posted:
Sat Oct 13, 2007 11:57 am |
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Keep it short
refer to the long time you have known her
She has made the best choice and you agree
if you don't agree, make it even shorter
as said above, the Best man will make all the racy comments,
Wish them both well,
3 minutes max is all the FOTB should have,
Mention how proud you are to have known her, to have seen her grow into the person you knew was inside herself
Raise your glass, and propose a toast to the bride,
And wipe the tear from your eye
edit at my daughters 21st, I spoke for about 3 minutes, prob less, I said that at no time in 21 years had I never felt proud of who she was, her decisions at times may have made me slightly upset, but they were her decisions, and she stood by them. Speak from your heart, and don't ramble, |
Last edited by irishemigrant on Sat Oct 13, 2007 3:06 pm; edited 2 times in total |
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Hekate
Elite Baiter
Joined: 08 Aug 2005
Posts: 1338
Location: Scotland, UK
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Posted:
Sat Oct 13, 2007 2:53 pm |
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The last one my dad did (I'm one of 5 daughters, so there have been a few weddings among us!) he thanked everyone for coming, hoped they were enjoying the day, spoke about how beautiful ALL his daughters are (we insisted on that bit!) but especially his baby (she's the youngest of us) and how lucky my new bro-in-law was to be allowed to marry her. He said some nice things about the bro-in-law, welcomed him into the clan, joked about how his taste in women is better than his taste in football teams, warned him that if he ever upset my sister, he'd better leave the country because the rest of the sisters would hunt him down and hurt him. Then he proposed a toast to the happy couple, sat down, and proceeded to get tipsy! |
_________________ 'suck meee son of a bitches fucking retard peoples' M C phonelad
We have on our programms according to the lay down rules to pay the Asians mostly the indians and malasians now and after that it may change. Rev. James Ucheomma
do you really think that i am just a stupid man like you,listen for the veru last time if i did'nt see XXXX after 24 hours you will heat your self.. [love scammer Chucks]
IT'S NOT I LOOKING FOR WORK.GOD FORBID.I CAN BE IN AN OCEAN AND WASH MY HEAD WITH MY SPIT. THANKS AND GOD BLESS.
MARK DOUGLAS.
2 x
See SP's Irish Safari!
x14
Click here to support 419Eater.com |
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irishemigrant
** REMEMBERED **
Joined: 22 Jul 2007
Posts: 4933
Location: 40*45' S 172* 34'E
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Posted:
Sat Oct 13, 2007 3:04 pm |
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^^^ I like your Da Hekate, he sounds like me |
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Hekate
Elite Baiter
Joined: 08 Aug 2005
Posts: 1338
Location: Scotland, UK
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Posted:
Sat Oct 13, 2007 3:08 pm |
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@IM - when the first of us got married he stopped her right at the door of the church and said if she didn't want to go through with it, that was fine, we'd all go up the road (ie home) and have a party anyway. She just laughed and said 'get in there you silly old bugger!' |
_________________ 'suck meee son of a bitches fucking retard peoples' M C phonelad
We have on our programms according to the lay down rules to pay the Asians mostly the indians and malasians now and after that it may change. Rev. James Ucheomma
do you really think that i am just a stupid man like you,listen for the veru last time if i did'nt see XXXX after 24 hours you will heat your self.. [love scammer Chucks]
IT'S NOT I LOOKING FOR WORK.GOD FORBID.I CAN BE IN AN OCEAN AND WASH MY HEAD WITH MY SPIT. THANKS AND GOD BLESS.
MARK DOUGLAS.
2 x
See SP's Irish Safari!
x14
Click here to support 419Eater.com |
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irishemigrant
** REMEMBERED **
Joined: 22 Jul 2007
Posts: 4933
Location: 40*45' S 172* 34'E
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Posted:
Sat Oct 13, 2007 3:17 pm |
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I hope she is still with the same man then
My Da gave me the same advice,
3 times later, ok, he was right
Single I am, single I'll stay,
sweet young Johnny has gone far away
to fight the bold spainards where ever they be
and never to come home
to Bantry and me |
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Murry Guru
Baiting Guru
Joined: 11 May 2007
Posts: 5561
Location: Turned into Ralph
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Posted:
Sun Oct 14, 2007 12:37 am |
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Thanks everybody for your help
I will put something together later tonight and let you know what I have come up with
@Hekate
While I appreciate all the tips I've been given, I do like what you dad has done so I will probably go along those lines, he sounds like a very wise man. |
_________________ "I want to hold your hand and let you scream at me while you bring our child into this world"- Linda Lopez
Bait with Frumpy on the hitman "i though we are partners in this and now u turn around to stub me on the back"
Click to learn how to romance bait Click to get your name in mugu gold
Got info on a scam vic? PM a mod Recieved a scam warning? Say "thank you, I am a baiter"
Ruin your pets day, post their details at scamwarners
<- I run like a girl
x12 ? not enough
<- this one belongs to Ralph. |
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Murry Guru
Baiting Guru
Joined: 11 May 2007
Posts: 5561
Location: Turned into Ralph
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Posted:
Sun Oct 14, 2007 11:26 am |
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Thanks everybody for the advice
Here is my Draft version
Welcome
Welcome to this very special event
When I was asked to write a speech for tonight I went away and did some research on what I needed to do and the best advice I got was this
Wedding speeches should be like a miniskirt, long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to keep you interested.
So I promise not to keep you from the rest of the night for too long
I would like to start by thanking every body for coming and hope you have enjoyed it as much as I have.
Everything has gone well so far and it promises to get even better as the night goes on
It is a great honour for me to be able to speak on behalf of the family at (brides name) and (grooms name)s wedding
I have known Brides name since she was 2 and I always had a soft spot for her, I don�t know if is was the way she called me �My my name� or how lovable she was in everything she did but I always considered her like my own little sister as with all of my sister in laws
I was fortunate see brides name grow up into the beautiful woman that she has become today and I am also very proud of her achievements in life.
I always said that brides name was the sensible and responsible one out of all of us and she always proved me right wether it was making sure that everybody was looked after, looking out for the kids or making sure everybody got home safely from a party.
What I am now looking forward to is being a part of her future with grooms name and watching their relationship turn into their very own family.
Now what can I say about grooms name
It was about �.. well actually I cant remember how long ago it was that brides name introduced me to grooms name but it seemed ages ago and at that time I had no idea he would become my brother in law but here he is and I couldn�t be happier
I liked grooms name right from the start, not because of the way he treated me or the way he acted, not that I had a problem with that either but I always liked him because of the way he treated my little sister, he always seemed to care about her feelings, gave her space to be her own person and was always there for her when she needed it.
He did seem very shy at first but over the last few years he has really come out of his shell and I keep liking him more and more as I get to know him better
I do think personally that he has better taste in the woman he has chosen to marry than the over sized clothes he wears that but then nobody is perfect and if that�s the only thing I could find to say bad about him then I think brides name is doing very well
grooms name! I want you to remember that you have not only married brides name, you have also become family and it is a package deal, we come with brides name wether you like it or not.
On behalf of all of brides names family I am now very happy to welcome my new brother in law into the family and look forward to sharing in brides name and grooms names future as Mr and Mrs grooms surname.
Close
The night is still young and the fridge is still loaded so please enjoy the rest of brides name and grooms names night with them
Toast
Now, one last thing before I sit down and enjoy some more beverages myself
I would like to propose a toast to the bride and groom
The bride and groom
I was about to get lovey to look over it but shes asleep on the lounge so please let me know what you think
Now I'm going back to tend my neglected pets |
_________________ "I want to hold your hand and let you scream at me while you bring our child into this world"- Linda Lopez
Bait with Frumpy on the hitman "i though we are partners in this and now u turn around to stub me on the back"
Click to learn how to romance bait Click to get your name in mugu gold
Got info on a scam vic? PM a mod Recieved a scam warning? Say "thank you, I am a baiter"
Ruin your pets day, post their details at scamwarners
<- I run like a girl
x12 ? not enough
<- this one belongs to Ralph. |
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Frederick Fokker
** ACCOUNT CLOSED **
Joined: 19 Sep 2007
Posts: 262
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Posted:
Sun Oct 14, 2007 1:05 pm |
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Quote: |
When I was asked to write a speech for tonight I went away and did some research on what I needed to do and the best advice I got was this
Wedding speeches should be like a miniskirt, long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to keep you interested.
So I promise not to keep you from the rest of the night for too long |
somehow i would leave this part out...the mini skirt reference, has conotations best kept out of a cerimony, and it perhaps trivialises the rest you wrote.
great advise you got, wish you the best of luck. Oh and the bride too [/quote] |
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Murry Guru
Baiting Guru
Joined: 11 May 2007
Posts: 5561
Location: Turned into Ralph
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Posted:
Sun Oct 14, 2007 1:10 pm |
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^^^Fair enough Fred thanks for the thoughts
That's the kind of constructive criticism I am after
I wasn't sure myself about that line but as I said it is a draft that I am prepared to change a couple of times before I get there. |
_________________ "I want to hold your hand and let you scream at me while you bring our child into this world"- Linda Lopez
Bait with Frumpy on the hitman "i though we are partners in this and now u turn around to stub me on the back"
Click to learn how to romance bait Click to get your name in mugu gold
Got info on a scam vic? PM a mod Recieved a scam warning? Say "thank you, I am a baiter"
Ruin your pets day, post their details at scamwarners
<- I run like a girl
x12 ? not enough
<- this one belongs to Ralph. |
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Reaper
Hello I'm New here!
Joined: 06 May 2007
Posts: 0
Location: Travelling in a fried-out combie. On a hippie trail, head full of zombie...
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Posted:
Sun Oct 14, 2007 1:15 pm |
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It went down well at my uncles wedding but some families are different. Whatever you feel is comfortable with yours. |
_________________ 110+
x15 x18 50+
Shola - 4.3k miles Lagos - Abidjan | Lagos - N'Djamena, Chad | Lagos - Sokoto "i have not eaten anything except water"
Mr Floyd - Lagos - N'Djamena, Chad | Lagos -N'Djamena --> Abeche, with RS (7 days in hell ) "we are dieing here"
Art Trophies: <a href="http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=129502">Eva Bust</a> - <a href="http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=135167">Reaper's Art Gallery</a>
- I am the King of Rome, and above grammar
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irishemigrant
** REMEMBERED **
Joined: 22 Jul 2007
Posts: 4933
Location: 40*45' S 172* 34'E
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Posted:
Sun Oct 14, 2007 1:58 pm |
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Nice speech Murry, if you feel the family are happy, I'd be leaving it as it is, you'll get a laugh at the start, and again at the finish, which is all a wedding speech should do. |
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Hekate
Elite Baiter
Joined: 08 Aug 2005
Posts: 1338
Location: Scotland, UK
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Posted:
Sun Oct 14, 2007 3:20 pm |
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I like the miniskirt remark myself, but I suppose you should consider if there's going to be anyone at the wedding who would be offended/annoyed by it. And the rest of the speech is fine! |
_________________ 'suck meee son of a bitches fucking retard peoples' M C phonelad
We have on our programms according to the lay down rules to pay the Asians mostly the indians and malasians now and after that it may change. Rev. James Ucheomma
do you really think that i am just a stupid man like you,listen for the veru last time if i did'nt see XXXX after 24 hours you will heat your self.. [love scammer Chucks]
IT'S NOT I LOOKING FOR WORK.GOD FORBID.I CAN BE IN AN OCEAN AND WASH MY HEAD WITH MY SPIT. THANKS AND GOD BLESS.
MARK DOUGLAS.
2 x
See SP's Irish Safari!
x14
Click here to support 419Eater.com |
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Frederick Fokker
** ACCOUNT CLOSED **
Joined: 19 Sep 2007
Posts: 262
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Posted:
Sun Oct 14, 2007 4:06 pm |
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hmmm the thing is....where are you gonna do the speach? church? civil cerimony? kind of depends on the "environment"
if you know all the people there just go for it it is indeed funny, and a weading shoul be a happy event.
I did a few myself, and like to sart solemn and finish happy, but that is down to my particular views or likings.
Just trust your gut and you will be allright. |
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writeon
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Posts: 986
Location: SATA
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Posted:
Sun Oct 14, 2007 5:56 pm |
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@MG instead of the miniskirt intro you may wish to consider............ In preparation for this moment I decided to prepare a few lines.................I sniffed them and this is what I came up with...................................
The main thing MG is BE YOURSEF. |
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kleindoofy
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 24 Oct 2004
Posts: 6248
Location: Europe
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Posted:
Sun Oct 14, 2007 7:21 pm |
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@Murry Guru
Do the bride and groom have a prenuptial agreement?
That could make a huge difference in what you have to say. |
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OldBaglady
Elite Baiter
Joined: 11 Jul 2007
Posts: 1979
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Posted:
Sun Oct 14, 2007 8:58 pm |
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Murry Guru wrote: |
Thanks everybody for the advice
It is a great honour for me to be able to speak on behalf of the family at (brides name) and (grooms name)s wedding |
I agree with the miniskirt issue. It's funny but the rest of your speech is endearing and very family oriented. It doesn't quite fit.
The only thing I'd suggest you add is a tribute to the man whose place you're representing - if he is greatly missed and fondly remembered. If that is the case, there will be those there who probably need to hear that you'd like to believe he is proud and happy for his daughter, also. Probably insert it in the clip above. |
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Murry Guru
Baiting Guru
Joined: 11 May 2007
Posts: 5561
Location: Turned into Ralph
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Posted:
Mon Oct 15, 2007 10:33 am |
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Thanks again everbody
Lovey has had a look over it and she is pretty happy with it as is, I could not have done it so well without your help so I owe you all a drink and I will be sure to drink one for each of you on the night... After the speech of course
@Fred
The speech will be at a reception after the wedding, both sides are pretty open to whats out there and would probably be hard to offend.
Australians are generally a country that call each other names constantly and we generally laugh it off and throw our own insult back at them, it tends to make the day go faster.
Calling someone a "silly old prick" for instance will only offend by the use of the word "old", "silly prick" would be fine in most cases.
@KD
No prenuptial, they both have put in about as much as each other financially speaking so it probably wouldn't achieve anything
@Writeon
I do like that line but it may be too close to home for some of them, I will keep it in mind for another occasion, it's too good to go to waste
@Hekate and Irish Migrant
The 2 of you have been especially helpfull and I have truley appreciated both of your help.
@Reaper
I love your opener but I was unsure as to if I would use it for fear of offending some of the older guests.
You will be pleased to know that I have decided to use it but if it offends the crowd I will be blaming you. I know you wont be too far away from the reception either, so feel free to come along for a lemonade. If you turn up at the wrong reception just tell them Murry said it would be OK if you come in for 5 minutes and wish the bride and groom well, I am sure they will understand.
@Old Bag Lady
I considered long and hard about the real father issue and I am still not sure if I should or not. It is no secret that he and I never really seen eye to eye for a few reasons so whatever I said about him may seem hypocritical.
The other issue is that My mother in law is the type to cry over anything and she will be upset enough as it is and is not likely to stop crying if I start her by mentioning him.
I didn't mention him at my first sister inlaws wedding and I dont regret not mentioning him there so I will propably not go there.
In saying that, you are probably right about it, I just dont feel comfortable that I will find the right words so I am making excuses not to.
@The man
While your idea is good, I am not one for libraries and I am too much of a scab to spend money on a book that I would only use a couple of times. besides that if I was to buy a book I would feel I have to read it and that would keep me from my pets.
Finally
@Miss Behaving
I actually used your advice when writing my speech to make sure I didn't miss anything so a big thank you to you as well.
Sometime on Sunday when I recover I will let you all know how it went |
_________________ "I want to hold your hand and let you scream at me while you bring our child into this world"- Linda Lopez
Bait with Frumpy on the hitman "i though we are partners in this and now u turn around to stub me on the back"
Click to learn how to romance bait Click to get your name in mugu gold
Got info on a scam vic? PM a mod Recieved a scam warning? Say "thank you, I am a baiter"
Ruin your pets day, post their details at scamwarners
<- I run like a girl
x12 ? not enough
<- this one belongs to Ralph. |
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Reaper
Hello I'm New here!
Joined: 06 May 2007
Posts: 0
Location: Travelling in a fried-out combie. On a hippie trail, head full of zombie...
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Posted:
Mon Oct 15, 2007 10:56 am |
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Murry Guru wrote: |
You will be pleased to know that I have decided to use it but if it offends the crowd I will be blaming you. |
You could also blame Don, along with the usual things like Global Warming , PMS, etc.
Murry Guru wrote: |
I know you wont be too far away from the reception either |
Really? Do you live in Sydney? |
_________________ 110+
x15 x18 50+
Shola - 4.3k miles Lagos - Abidjan | Lagos - N'Djamena, Chad | Lagos - Sokoto "i have not eaten anything except water"
Mr Floyd - Lagos - N'Djamena, Chad | Lagos -N'Djamena --> Abeche, with RS (7 days in hell ) "we are dieing here"
Art Trophies: <a href="http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=129502">Eva Bust</a> - <a href="http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=135167">Reaper's Art Gallery</a>
- I am the King of Rome, and above grammar
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Frederick Fokker
** ACCOUNT CLOSED **
Joined: 19 Sep 2007
Posts: 262
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Posted:
Mon Oct 15, 2007 11:00 am |
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well then wish them both a world of hapiness from me, and when you drink the one one on my behalf, pinch your nose closed with left hand, raise the glass, say " Viva os Noivos" and down the all thing in a single gulp
viva os novois=horray for the bride and groom
portuguese tradition.
no worries mate.
PS- for a small fee i can send you some Genuine German Aspirine, guaranted to help deal with the effects of the morning after the night before, you can use WU they the best for this things or so i hear. |
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