Potter Derrek, now stranded in Ghana

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Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2007 7:17 pm

Jayhawk wrote:

I told him if the vehicle is not claimed within 30 days it will be shipped to the Interpol main vehicle storage facility in Reykjavik Iceland. We'll see if the lad is up for safari.

In about a month and a half I will be living there! Perfect timing if his car gets shipped out by Interpol. Would love to help out with something fun like this. Great read guys.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

He just sent me scanned images of a registration form that I assume Roy sent him. Roy, did you send him a registration form?

I'll let him stew awhile before telling him that he has proved to me that he is the owner of the vehicle and may come and pick it up. I believe he is currently in Benin City. I'm open to suggestions on where the lad should travel to.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

Jayhawk, I hear that Interpol delivers.

Here is the non-boring part of this morning's chat.

Quote:

dan (8/31/07 5:14:36 AM): and how was the going yesterday i told you about
F (8/31/07 5:15:00 AM): well, the james bond movies were not filmed in hollywood
F (8/31/07 5:15:44 AM): they were made in england
F (8/31/07 5:15:55 AM): is that what you mean?
dan (8/31/07 5:17:14 AM): yes
F (8/31/07 5:17:33 AM): did you get the VIN number?
dan (8/31/07 5:17:58 AM): no
F (8/31/07 5:19:04 AM): no?
dan (8/31/07 5:19:26 AM): yes
F (8/31/07 5:19:31 AM): david said he was going to call roy
F (8/31/07 5:19:52 AM): but you know david is probably out for the season, he's not very happy right now
dan (8/31/07 5:20:10 AM): roy mailed me and told me the car don't have a VIN number
dan (8/31/07 5:20:25 AM): you mean it?
F (8/31/07 5:20:33 AM): well, did he give you what you needed?
F (8/31/07 5:20:47 AM): yes, the doctor's say he cannot play for at least six weeks
F (8/31/07 5:21:58 AM): David had an MRI yesterday
dan (8/31/07 5:22:34 AM): what is MRI
F (8/31/07 5:23:07 AM): It is a medical test similar to an x-ray
F (8/31/07 5:23:31 AM): it shows that david sprained a ligament in his knee
dan (8/31/07 5:24:51 AM): ok
F (8/31/07 5:25:32 AM): did roy give you what you needed to get your car?
dan (8/31/07 5:26:05 AM): he said that maybe it will be in the document book
F (8/31/07 5:26:21 AM): good then
dan (8/31/07 5:26:34 AM): yes
F (8/31/07 5:26:42 AM): sorry i couldn't be of more help to you
dan (8/31/07 5:26:56 AM): ok
F (8/31/07 5:27:22 AM): did roy say when he is coming to abuja?
dan (8/31/07 5:28:13 AM): he did'nt tell me he said that i must pick up my car first
F (8/31/07 5:28:28 AM): oh, where is the car?
dan (8/31/07 5:28:52 AM): with the interpol
F (8/31/07 5:29:08 AM): yes, where are they located
dan (8/31/07 5:30:48 AM): he did'nt tell me
F (8/31/07 5:31:04 AM): then how can you pick up your car?
dan (8/31/07 5:31:27 AM): he will deliver it to me
F (8/31/07 5:31:38 AM): that's wonderful
F (8/31/07 5:31:43 AM): it's a very nice car
F (8/31/07 5:32:10 AM): will you give me a ride in it sometime?
dan (8/31/07 5:32:31 AM): that will be wonderful

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

You know, I'm guessing that Interpol will not be delivering. Very Happy

And I sure hope that he manages to get to the car before the 30 days are up. That would be horrible if he just misses out on getting his car.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

This is a boring chat. He wants F to buy him a plane ticket to the US. He claims he's been to the US before.

Quote:

dan: and how is David
F: not too happy, did you send him a note about his injury?
dan: no
F: you should
dan: ok i will do that now
dan: so what are we going to talk about now?
F: what do you want to talk about? Did you hear anything about your car?
dan: the interpol have no reply me
F: are you working on getting your passport replaced?
dan: i told you that i was brook as of the moment,and i don't have money in my credit card again
F: oh, i see
dan: you see what i mean?
F: yes
dan: ok
dan: if i get my passport ready will you pay my flight and make an american visa for me?
F: let me talk to David about that
dan: ok
dan: did you tell him i lost my passport?
F: i don't know what he had in mind when he was talking about you coming to the US
dan: me too
dan: when i first visited US it has been very long
F: I haven't talked to him since his injury
F: when did you visit the US?
dan: very long time
F: where did you visit?
dan: washington
F: who were you visiting?
dan: my friend
F: what did you see while you were here
dan: beautiful things of course
dan: it was my friend that invited me
F: that's nice, what's your friend's name?
dan: frank lester
F: how do you know him
dan: a friend introduce me to him
F: what did he show you?
dan: many things that are unamable to me
dan: what are you eating for your breakfast?
F: eggs, i have them every morning
F: what did you have for breakfast?
dan: Well,my break fast was yam and beans
dan: mid breakfast was rice and beans
F: you changed your picture
dan: yes dear
F: did you cook or does your mom do that?
dan: both of us cook,infact everybody cook in our house age above 15yrs
F: do you like to cook?
dan: very much
F: will you cook a traditional meal for me when you come here?
dan: for sure
dan: do you have traditional items there?
F: you'd have to tell me what they are so I could see
dan: yes thats true
dan: do David like traditional foods?
F: can you describe a romantic dinner for you and me?
dan: eguse soup
dan: and semovita
dan: do you eat garri?
F: tell me what is garri, i haven't heard of it
dan: cassava?
F: i've never heard of these things, can you describe them?
dan: have heard of that?
F: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Egusi-Soup/Detail.aspx
F: is this what you mean for the first one?
dan: i just can't discribe it
dan: yes
dan: have you tested it?
F: that sounds very good
F: no, i never had it before
dan: you miss alot
F: i'm sure, i've never eaten african food
dan: if you have not tested it
F: it has peppers, is it very hot?
dan: not too hot
dan: i want you to take a fresh picture
F: you do?
F: why?
dan: i want too see how you look now?
F: ok
F: what about you?
dan: hmmmmmmm i don't know
dan: my time is almost up now and its rain here
F: ok it was great chatting with you this morning
F: it's raining?
dan: yes
F: what is the temperature?
dan: i can measure it now
dan: but not high
F: ok
dan: will you call me today i am very lonely at home
F: awww, so sorry to hear that but you really should call me
dan: please no credit in the phone now pls
dan: i know you are trying pls
F: well, i am very busy today
dan: pls try pls
F: maybe
dan: ok
dan: bye i love you
F: bye
dan: take care of your self
F: u 2

Posted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 6:05 pm

Dunno what food David likes, very expensive food these days I should think.

In case davids knee is really toast, he has an alternative plan, After all, a 'Conman Church' tattoo will look good along with his other ones. I'm hoping that dan will want one just like David's.

Quote:

Thankyou for your wishes, I hope I can play again. If not I may join
the Church that Roy is in and become a minister.

David

Posted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 6:48 pm

@redshoes17 - Frank is one of my chars... so it seems he's bullshitting..

@roy - screw the tattoo, go for branding. It seems this one is up to anything you can imagine (or at least save the other arm for me, I'm running out of imagination). I asked him to do the "go4tse" and he did it... I should receive the photo tomorrow.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

This one should get him pretty excited

Quote:

Mr.
After careful examination of the documents you sent to us we have come to the conclusion that you are the rightful owner of the vehicle. Congratulations!

I have passed your information on to our seized asset manager Interpol Agent Jxxx Vxxxx. Agent Vxxxx will soon be contacting you regarding your vehicle and will be sending you the necessary paperwork to complete prior to delivery.

On a personal note I would like to say that the boys at Interpol are in agreement that they have never seen a finer vehicle anywhere. You car is currently under secure guard awaiting completion of the paperwork to assure that no damage comes of it.

If it is not asking too much, some of the boys were asking if they might have their photo taken with you and the car when it is delivered to you. We very rarely get such fine cars in such good condition. Most of the cars we get are real junkers. I hope the photo request is not too much to ask.

Agent Vxxxx will be contacting you shortly concerning your vehicle and will provide you the necessary paperwork. Again, congratulations are in order!

Interpol Agent Txxxx Jxxxx

To those involved with this bait, if the lad asks about Interpols new policy requiring tongue prints, you might mention that you had read something about it. After all, fingerprints can be altered, but tongue prints are both unique and cannot be altered. Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 3:05 pm

Tounge prints, ewww! make sure he uses indelible security ink.

Just in case anything should go wrong in the future with dan's car delivery, another photo of an Interpol agent with his car...

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Roy, no security ink is necessary. A standard latex paint will be sufficient. After all, we at Interpol don't want to make it too hard on the lad.

I think that car has quite an adventure ahead of it. The funny thing is that the lad has apprently forgotten that Interpol has an active arrest warrant out on him. I hope that doesn't screw things up.

*** BANNED *** Joined: 10 Jan 2004 Posts: 3779

Jayhawk wrote:

To those involved with this bait, if the lad asks about Interpols new policy requiring tongue prints, you might mention that you had read something about it. After all, fingerprints can be altered, but tongue prints are both unique and cannot be altered. Twisted Evil

Why not an iris or retina scan using a flatbed scanner at 1200 dpi? Laughing

Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 3:05 am

Perhaps tongue prints can be read by an on-screen device, like Oxygen Deprived's on screen finger print scanner on his courier webpage. Lads licking their screens in internet cafes.... that would be hilarious!

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I swear to god, if ever a lad was just begging to be abused:

Quote:

Well friend there is no problem,but really i don't know how to thank you for this an when will the car be delivered to me?
But now i am having some problems is just that i lost my passport as of last week that i was attacked on the way by robbers since then i was very brook and tarve of money.
So please do you know any immigration officer that can help me get other one? and when will the interpol agent be contacting me.
Thanks and God bless for your help.
Best regards,
- Show quoted text -

P0tter

Um..., yeah, I just might be able to find an immigration officer for him. Twisted Evil

I think this lad calls for a new emoticon. Perhaps an emoticon of fish being shot in a barrel?

Posted: Wed Sep 05, 2007 2:46 pm

OMG, this lad MUST be the missing link between man and ape.
He sent the stretching photo, but as his fingers were not in the "pootunnel", I told him he can either forget the whole deal or redo the photo.

He asked for a sample picture on how it should be done, so I sent him "the" picture and told him he should not stretch his a**s as much as the dude in the sample picture, because it might be painful.

Surprisingly, today he wrote back to me.

lad wrote:

Thanks friend,
i hope his a**s did not pain him he stretch his a**s too much.
but not to worry i was send you the picture as fast as possible my photographer has already take the picture.and immediately i collect it i will send it to you Ok.

This lad will be famous. No doubt about it.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

Dan lied to F about not being online yesterday. This morning he did not answer her at his usual time. About three hours later he comes to say a quick hello but he's too busy for love.

Quote:

dan :but i dont have time left maybe i will go to my friends office so we talk
dan : or i will come later
F : that would be great, when?
dan : no idea yet
F : oh, don't say that
dan : thats the truth i'm saying
F : we have so much to catch up on
dan : ok
F : ok, what are you going to stay and talk?
dan : i don't know
dan : u?
dan : well i am living now i have many things to turnup to
F : when will you chat with me again?
dan : will you call me?
dan : i don't think it will be possible today
dan : time is up please
dan : i am living now

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Well, Dan sounds almost human in his email to the Interpol officer:

Quote:

Ok thanks i am very happy that i will get my car very soon.
THank you very much and God will bless you for your good deeds

However, his tone is much different to the young starving waitress who had to work extra shifts to get the money for her lottery winnings:

Quote:

Go and collect your money back if you need your winnings you know what to do.
don't be disturbing me ok because i have'nt eat your money onces ok if you are ready you know what to do ok.
the other winners have collected their winnings is remaining you,i believe is because of your stubborness and maybe you are not ready to live big so bye anytime you are ready you know what to do ok.
Best regards,
Potter

Dan deserves everything coming his way, and more.

Posted: Wed Sep 05, 2007 5:03 pm

Same here, he emails Anna lynne in his own name, ever hopeful for a shag, but when he emails her as potter derrek:

Quote:

Just send $2,000USD i will make the arrangement for the parcel to be transfered immediately

He hopes to visit David in LA, he was upset not to be invited to his Birthday party:

Quote:

Ok thanks
I just lost my passport as of two weeks or more when i was attack but i will soon get other one.
Extend my greetings to the family.
God bless

He hasn't got the idea of the TWAT circus at all, perviously he offered to do cookery to entertain the masses. Rolling Eyes

He also sent a picture of himself kicking a football.

Quote:

So you mean my picture was not accepted or should i do the one of cooking?

Quote:

Please readthe original email agin. We are a CIRCUS.

We need acts that do something the puilblic would find entertaining, and
would pay money to see.

Cooking and football have no place in a circus, although a clown, doing
dangerous cooking, or cooking riding a bicycle might.

Think what you would want to see, or do some research if you have never
been to a circus.

I found a reply this morning:

Quote:

Ok i promise i'll go for a research,
What about driving a car so fast is that not one of them?

I pointed out that if he were to do car stunts, then that would entertain paying punters.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Roy, I wouldn't go down the car angle. I'm sure he's planning on using his kick butt car that Interpol is going to deliver to him.

You need tightrope walkers, don't you?

edit - Barrister Charl3s S0ludo just received the following email from him. Barrister S0ludo was involved many months ago when my poor starving waitress accused Dan of stealing the money she mailed to him in a plain envelope. Dan has been pestering the good Barrister lately, and Chucky has told him to "f*ck off" on more than one occasion. Here's the latest:

Quote:

But please just let me be your friend please i beg you please.
i just like us to be friend please.
Thanks and God bless.
will you like to meet Monica Lewinsky?

Every time I think that Dan can't get any dumber he surprises me.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Well, Interpol just sent Dan the forms calling for tongue prints (both upper and lower), as well as a set of security photos. Seeing as how Dan really is a whiny little beatch I expect a full sob story. Fortunately, Interpol Agent J0hn Valj3an is a seasoned Interpol asset manager, and has heard it all.

If he completes the form, along with the security photos, he's truly dumber than a Missouri grad with a lobotomy.

How's Dan doing with the rest of you?

Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 3:56 pm

Its all been a bit manic, as while the forum has wandered about, we've still been at Dan.

summary from my side:

1) The immigration people want a full face scan - he has to tape his eyes up, open his gob wide, and scan his face on the cafe scanner. At first he said no, now he is banned from the US, so now he has relented, and promises to get on with it.

2) badkarma419 has given him a part in 'The Stretcher' a big budget US movie, after stretching himself on camera. Shocked

- dan is very excited - dan to RC:

Quote:

Well the money will be a very famous movie and is a multimillion movie too.
And i believe i will hit in this movie.
And dad i hope you will come and see me when i am there i will make the trial there too

So he's moving to the US. Bk asked me to play the bank, he has had an advance for his movie. I emailed dan with a lot of cut & paste from real bank sites, and instructions from his personal adviser, Mrs Razz

Quote:

A deposit has been made in your name, in the sum of $505,000 USD.
Note that for security reasons, under the Patriot Act, we can no
longer send funds abroad, you will have to be physically present at
our headquarters in Washington to activate this account. You will need
to furnish proof of your identity to me, I will then issue you with an
USA Bank ATM card, so that you can access your money at any time.

I'm not sure if its Washington DC, or the state, but I will bet my mortgage than Dan doesn't know there's a difference.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Well that explains why Dan wants his car delivered to Washington. Of course, he didn't specify D.C. or the state to me either. He told me that he is going to the U.S. to act in a movie and needs the car delivered there. I haven't addressed that issue with him yet.

Dan is going to be busy with security photos. Interp0l is requesting not only tongue prints, but proof of tongue prints. This will require security photos of him with his tongue printed (orange or red provides the best tongue prints) with a non-toxic lead paint.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

Part of this morning's chat. He's optomistic that he will be coming to the US soon.

Quote:

dan: i have'nt taken my breakfast

dan: no much time pls
dan: i'll soon be going
F: you haven't eaten breakfast, why?
dan: 17min
dan: i am fasting
F: why are you fasting?
dan: there is something i am doing
F: which is?
dan: i don't even know it
dan: the pastor just told me to fast thats all
F: you must do what the pastor says

dan: do you know the USA Bank
F: yes
dan: where is the hq?
F: i'm not sure, do you want me to find out?
dan: no
dan: thats my bank
F: you have a bank in the US?
dan: a sum of money was deposited in the bank
dan: not really
dan: we call it our bank,i we own an account in the bank
F: it was? from the film company?
dan: yes
F: good for you!!!! Now you can call me on the telephone
dan: except when i am in washington
dan: k
F: when will you call?
dan: when i am in washington
F: when will that be?
dan: what are you buying for me when i come?
dan: maybe next week
F: i thought you and i decided that we would go shopping for a laptop
F: would you rather have something else?
dan: k
dan: no
dan: sweetheart when i am coming i am not bringing anything
F: I thought you were bringing your car
dan: only
dan: they will send it
F: it's all right you don't have to bring me anything
dan: k
dan: both of us will go for my shopping
F: what would your mother like? I'd like to send her something
dan: to get some cloths
dan: k
F: that sounds fine, i like shopping for cloths
dan: what my mom will like is always an electronic things and money finishF: can you suggest something specific
dan: laptop and plasma TV
F: Your mom wants a laptop?
F: You and I can shop for that together.
dan: yes,thats her favorite i tell u
F: We can send her the same kind that we get for u.
dan: kool
F: how does that sound?
dan: good
F: i just want you to hurry and come
dan: k
F: i want to see you in person
dan: maybe by next week by the grace of God

Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 6:22 am

Dan pulled his "cheeks" apart once, but I rejected the photo because his fingers were not in the "pootunnel". So he had another photo taken and the result is somewhat astonishing but yet very disturbing.

I asked him to send me his birth certificate as well as a scan of his passport. He started bitching about his passport being stolen and now he wants me to arrange a passport for him.

After a while I will let him know that I tried to get a passport for him, but I was told that he is on the USIS stop list and he's not allowed to enter US soil (hopefully Roy will get his "scans" then). Also, because I was unable to get the passport for him, I can't get the working permit either.

He has been asking me about the airport he will be using (like I care!).

He sent this to me yesterday

Quote:

Hello Friend,
Well and i want to tell you that you must shop for me because i won't bring any cloths when coming.just buy like ten jeans and twelve shirts and 8 pairs shoes and a gold wright watch and i chain too please you need to do this as fast as possible.

I'll buy a chain and ball for his leg.

Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 9:06 am

Shame he's always 'brook' (Danspeak for 'broke') and will never have enough money for a ticket to the US, for him to turn up at immigration with a baiter issued Green Card and 'no cloths', an intercontinental safari would be special.

He wrote to say that he will do the facescan 'sooner', rather than later I hope.

Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 9:18 am

I sent him a message a while ago

Quote:

I went to the embassy to arrange the passport for you.
They told me that you are on some stop list and you're not allowed
to enter the USA.
WHAT THE F**K IS GOING ON?
Are you a terrorist? Are you f**king Al-Qaeda?

DID I JUST OPEN AN ACCOUNT FOR A TERRORIST GROUP AND TRANSFERRED
OVER $500,000 DOLLARS TO OSAMA BIN LADEN?

OH MY GOD I CAN GET A DEATH SENTENCE BECAUSE OF THIS S**T!!!!!

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