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Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

The main lad replies, I suppose I will just knock up a tracking page on my couriers showing the �1700 was delivered, or send them the bill of lading receipt Very Happy

:

Quote:

Sir,

We are really interested in working with you and achieving the desired target but need your understanding and cooperation. Please forward details of all your dealings with the lawyer to enable us know what to do. If you sent �1700, please forward the evidence of payment to enable us know what to do. We trust and rely so much in you with hope that you will never let us down. Hope to hear from you soon for further advice.

Sincerely,

Wxxxxx R. Hxxxxx

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

An email from the lawyer, says they have investigated and found I sent no such money to them Rolling Eyes

, we'll see about that Twisted Evil

:

Quote:

Attention: Axxxxx Vxxxxx,

No money or whatsoever was sent or delivered to our office premises by anybody on the said date. I took time to respond to you because we had to investigate and verify the content of your last mail. You were given the correct information to send the money by Western Union and if you actually sent the money as claimed, please forward the evidence of delivery to our office. Besides, you should have known that it is not proper to send such huge amount by mail.

Thank you again for the opportunity you are availing us to represent you.

Regards,

Attorney Vxxxxx Lxxxxx

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

I sent a long rambling email to the main lad and the lawyer, this really could be the end now, because I constantly repeated that I was housebound and not able to go to Western Union to pay the fees, and now I don't trust sending it to the lawyer again via courier as it was proven she doesn't work there, or maybe she gave me an old incorrect work address, I just hope they can get a UK lad involved, to pay me a visit to collect:

Quote:

Dear Mr Wxxxxx R Hxxxxx,

As requested, please find forwarded to you below, the email I received from the lawyer today, as you can see from her reply, she claims to have investigated, and is basically calling me a liar, by her saying that no money was sent or delivered to her address. Then she contradicts herself by saying I should have known not to send the �1700 by mail, so what is it, first she says I didn't send it at all, then she tells me I shouldn't have sent it by mail, is she completely stupid?

Let me assure you that I am not at all stupid, I would never send a large amount of money like that via postal mail, it could easily be lost or stolen, and as I have explained to you on more than one occasion, I am housebound and in a wheelchair, so even if I wanted to send the money by Royal Mail post, I would not be able to, because I can't leave my home to go to the Post Office to send it, and that is also the same reason I cannot send the money via Western Union, BECAUSE I CANNOT LEAVE MY HOME, did you bother to explain to the lawyer, Vxxxxx Lxxxxx, that I am in a wheelchair, and housebound, due to my home being on the 3rd floor of the building where I live? Because, how in gods name would she expect me to go to a Western Union office to send the money, unless you never told her about me being in a wheelchair and being housebound?

Let me tell you something, when ever I send anything to anyone, I have to use a courier, the courier driver comes to my home to collect the package I am sending, and with regards to the courier company I used to send the �1700 to the lawyer, I know the courier company very well, I have sent many shipments with them before, they are thoroughly trustworthy and have previously delivered every single package I have ever sent with them, just like they deliverd the �1700 to the lawyers address at, xxx Exxxxx Place, London, SW7 xxx.

The money was sent to that address via my courier, and it was delivered there, it was signed for at that address, which is complete proof of delivery!!!

One more thing, there is some good news, and there is some strange news, I had a phone call from the couriers today, they told me that the people who signed for the delivery at, xxx Exxxxx Place, London, SW7 xxx, contacted them, and they asked the courier if they had delivered to the right place, because it was a new staff member who signed for the package containing the money, and it was later found out that nobody by the name of Vxxxxx Lxxxxx works at that address, and infact, there is not a lawyers office at that address, it's the address of a completely different business, the final outcome was, the couriers went back there, collected the package and it was returned to me this afternoon, so I have now got the �1700 back with me, I don't know what went wrong, maybe the lawyer has an incorrect address that she gives in each of her emails, but as you can see in her email below, in her signature, it clearly gives this address:

"Attorney Vxxxxx Lxxxxx LL. M, QC
Principal Partner, Livingstone Solicitors,
xxx, Exxxxx Place London SW7 xxx"

Whilst I am sending this email to you, Mr Hxxxxx, at the same time, it is also being sent to the lawyer so that she can see what I have written to you, because it would not surprise me in the least, if you had not told her about my disability and my inability to leave my home, thus rendering me incapable of using Western Union.

Also, in my previous email to you, Mr Hxxxxx, I asked you to contact the lawyer, to discuss amongst yourselves, a way in which either someone from Exxon, or someone from the lawyers, can come to my home to collect the money in cash from me to cover any and all future fees that there may be, because I would rather pay everything at once, just incase another fee should crop up at some point, I will then have to send it to the lawyer via courier again, and as I know the last �1700 was delivered, because I have proof of delivery, and that the lawyer gave the wrong address, I no longer trust the useless lawyer, Vxxxxx Lxxxxx, and I don't want to be sending money to addresses given to me that she no longer works at, it may not be her fault, but someone at the address signed for the money from the couriers thinking that Vxxxxx Lxxxxx worked there, so either you or the lawyer, or a representative of either of your companies, can come to my home and collect all further fees from me in cash.

I live alone and have no living relatives, nor do I have any friends because I never go outside my house, so there is nobody who can send money to you via Western Union on my behalf, I have over �400,000 in a large box under my bed, that money is from the compensation for the accident on the building site that left me in a wheelchair, I don't like keeping all this money at home in case a burglar breaks in, but I have no choice but to keep it here, because if I need money, I can't get out of my home to go to a bank, so the only option is for you to arrange for someone to come to my home and collect the money.

I will tell you something, I am really losing patience with all of this business, I have not done any sort of business before, but being stuck in my home for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, I need to do something to keep me occupied, I have all of this money here and nothing to spend it on, I was assuming that this contract might cost me about �100,000 or thereabouts before it all gets off the ground, and I am fully prepared to pay you that amount, because I know it will be a great investment and I will be making millions of dollars in profit for a small outlay of a �100,000 or so.

So, provided that both you and the lawyer can raise your game, because both of you have acted shabbily up to this point, infact, to say, completely unprofessional, would be an understatement, performing ass clowns in the circus would have a better business accumen than either of you, and I expect a man of your stature and a woman of the lawyers stature, to be able to conduct yourselves in a professional and businesslike manner at all times, just like I do, I have done everything to make this transaction go without any mistakes, but I am constantly hitting a brick wall with the pair off you, please arrange for someone to come and collect the money from me at my home, I will even pay up to �100,000 in cash if that is what it takes to bring this contract to fruition, enough of all this messing about now, lets get this job done professionally, we will all make big money from this.

I will write this bit in capitals for you, PLEASE READ ALL OF MY EMAIL WRITTEN UP THERE ^^^, THEN READ IT AGAIN, JUST TO MAKE SURE YOU UNDERSTAND THE SITUATION! The lawers email is below.

Regards,

Axxxxx Vxxxxx.

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

My rambling reply gets a rambling reply Smile

, but he says nobody needs to come to my house to collect the money, and I only need a brain Mad

:

Quote:

Dear Axxxxx Vxxxxx,

Thank you very much for your prompt response. My correspondence with you is on my business proposal for you to become a contractor with E x x o n M obil in London and I have been as professional as possible to ensure that we achieve the desired target and move on to the new contract that has been secured in your name. Firstly, a company has been duly incorporated and registered as an eligible contractor with E x x o n M obil and we have successfully re-profiled the outstanding US$12.2M in your name as the contractor / bonafide beneficiary of the fund. Thus, as soon as the fund is transferred to you, the new contract of US$31M for the supply of modern safety equipments and gadgets in all our outlets in parts of Africa, Asia, Europe and the Middle East will be awarded to you. I need you to understand the volume of work I have been doing concerning the success of this transaction and have been as professional as anybody can be. My earnest desire at this point is to see the business come to the expected end.

However, the reason you were contacted and how come we choose you is not far fetched. Based on the sensitivity of this transaction, a lot of search, consideration and selection was conducted for a capable hand to work with, by the various heads of department and officials involved in this transaction and you were selected and contacted accordingly. We are professionals in our various fields and you need not fear or worry. All it takes to achieve the desired target is your understanding, cooperation and strict compliance with stipulated instructions and guidelines. This is because we are still in active service with the company and cannot handle the business on our own.

I will consult my colleagues and get back to you on what to do but you should know you are the one delaying the success of this transaction. You should be willing to comply with stipulated instructions and guidelines to enable us achieve the desired target. There are fund managers and administrators that you can use to send the money without anybody coming to your house. I never told the lawyer you were on a wheelchair and can never leave your house because all you need to participate in this business and become an eligible contractor with ExxonMobil is your brain to coordinate and manage the business.

If being on a wheelchair makes it impossible for you to perform effectively then there is a problem. You should be able to coordinate things and pay the money for the successful conclusion of the transaction. You can actually work effectively from your house. We depend so much on you and can never let you down but please be sincere and do the needful. The lawyer has no reason or whatsoever to lie with her address but you can ask her to explain.

The following are my personal experience prior to my resumption with E x x o n Mobil and telephone number with which you can reach me. A brief introduction of the company is also included for a better understanding:

Wxxxxx R. Hxxxxx
Principal Occupation: Chairman Em3ritus, J.C. P3nney Company

Recent Business Experience: Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of J.C. P3nney Company

Public Company Directorships: @merican El3ctr1c Power; H@ll1burton; Pf1zer; Williams; D3utsche Bank Trust Corporation and D3utsche Bank Trust Company Americas (non-public, wholly owned subsidiaries of D3utsche Bank AG)

BRIEF INTRODUCTION OF EXXONMOBIL CORPORATION TO YOU:
E x x o n M obil Corporation is the world's leading publicly-owned energy company with a presence in some 200 countries and territories around the world. ExxonMobil's business in the UK is conducted through individual operating companies. These include:

E s so Exploration and Production UK Limited
E s so Petroleum Company, Limited
E x x o n M obil Chemical Limited
M obil North Sea Limited
Advanced El@stomer Systems Limited

In addition, specific international operations are stewarded from the UK by E x x o n M obil subsidiaries including:

E x x o n M obil International Limited
E x x o n M obil Gas Marketing Europe Limited
E x x o n M obil Marine Limited
International Marine Transportation Limited

The registered address for all of the companies above is:
E x x o n M obil House
3rmyn W@y
L3@therhead
Surrey KT22 xxx
United Kingdom

My personal Telephone is: 44-703-xxxxxx

Hope to hear from you soon for further advice.

Sincerely,

Wxxxxx R. Hxxxxx

I think I'll send him the lyrics of an Irish song, explaining about my accident on the building site, I will alter it slightly and at the end to involve my brain damage from the accident, and how I had to have bionic brain implants from an old English sheepdog, and they are very clever dogs Very Happy

:

Quote:

The Bricklayer’s Lament

Now dear sir I write this note
to tell you of my plight.
For at the time of writing it,
I’m not a pretty sight.
My body is all black and blue,
my face a deathly gray,
And I write this note to say why
I am not at work today.
While working on the 14th floor,
some bricks I had to clear.
But tossing them down from such a height
was not a good idea.
The foreman wasn’t very pleased,
he is an awkward sod.
He said I had to carry them down
the ladder in my hod.
Well moving all those bricks by hand,
it was so very slow,
so I hoisted up the barrel
and secured the rope below.
But in my haste to do the job
I was too blind to see
That the barrel full of bricks was heavier than me.
So when I untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead,
and clinging tightly to the rope,
I started up instead.
I shot up like a rocket, and to my dismay, I found
that half way up, I met the flaming
barrel coming down.
The barrel broke my shoulder
as to the ground it sped,
And when I reached the top,
I banged the pulley with my head.
But I held on tightly, numb with shock
from that almighty blow,
While the barrel spilled out half the bricks
some 14 floors below.
Now when the bricks had fallen
from the barrel to the floor.
I then outweighed the barrel
and so started down once more.
Still clinging tightly to the rope,
my body wracked with pain,
and half way down I met the
flaming barrel once again.
Well the force of this collision
half way down the office block
caused multiple abrasions
and a nasty state of shock.
But I clung on tightly to the rope
as I fell towards the ground
and landed on the broken bricks
the barrel had scattered ‘round.
As I lay there on the ground,
I thought I passed the worst,
but that barrel hit the pulley wheel,
and then the bottom burst.
A shower of bricks came down on me,
I didn’t have a hope.
As I lay there bleeding on the ground,
I let go of the bloody rope.
The barrel then being heavier
it started down once more.
It landed right across me
as I lay there on the floor.
It broke three ribs and my left arm,
and I can only say,
I hope you’ll understand
why I am not at work today.

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

I sent the main lad a reply, he will probably think I am mental after reading this Laughing

:

Quote:

Dear Mr Wxxxxx R Hxxxxx,

Thank you for your email.

What do you mean by there being fund managers and administrators, who can have money sent to them, who are these people? And how would you expect me to make payment to them without me being able to leave my home?

I am glad that you admitted to being foolish, in not telling the lawyer that I was in a wheelchair and housebound, and that you seem to think that it is not important to tell her about my condition, and also your stupid jibe at me about only needing a brain to coordinate and manage business, my brian is far better than yours, and I again state that all the problems to date have been caused by you and the lawyer, let me tell you a few things about myself, which proves I have a far superior brain to you.

As you are aware, I am in a wheelchair due to an accident I had on a building site, now I write this email to tell you of my plight, for at the time of writing it, my body is still all twisted and my face a deathly gray. While working on the 14th floor, some bricks I had to clear, but tossing them down from such a height was not a good idea, the foreman wasn’t very pleased, he is an awkward sod, he said I had to carry them down the ladder in my hod, well moving all those bricks by hand was so very very slow, so I hoisted up the barrel and secured it with a rope below, but in my haste to do the job I was too blind to see that the barrel full of bricks was heavier than me, so when I untied the rope, and stepped off the ladder, the barrel fell like lead, and clinging tightly to the rope as my hands bled, I started going upwards instead, I shot up like a rocket, and to my dismay, I found that half way up, I met the barrel coming down, the barrel broke my shoulder as it sped towards the ground, and when I reached the top, I banged the pulley with my head, but I held on tightly, numb with shock from that almighty blow.

While the barrel spilled out half the bricks that were on the ground, some 14 floors below, now, when the bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor, I then outweighed the barrel and so I started to fall once more, still clinging tightly to the rope, my body wracked with pain, and half way down I met the flaming barrel once again, well the force of this collision half way down the office block caused multiple abrasions and a nasty trauma to my brain, but I clung on tightly to the rope as I fell towards the ground and landed on the broken bricks the barrel had scattered around, as I lay there on the ground, I thought the worst had passed, but that barrel hit the pulley wheel, and then the bottom burst, a shower of bricks came down on me, I didn’t have a hope, as I lay there bleeding on the ground, I let go of the bloody rope, the barrel then being heavier it started to fall down once more, it landed right across me as I lay there on the floor, it broke my ribs and my left arm, punctured my lungs and I broke my neck after landing on a scaffolding pole, the brain damage I got from banging my head on the barrel as I fell, was made worse when several bricks landed on my head.

All of these injuries meant I was in hospital for over a year, they thought I was going to be left brain dead from my head injuries, but thanks to new technology at the time, the surgeons implanted bionic implants in to my brain, the half of my brain that was damaged, was replaced with half the brain of a border collie sheepdog, I don't know if you know, but border collies are one of the most intelligent animals on earth, and are known for being the most intelligent dog breed of all, people have even said they are more intelligent than a dolphin, so due to having half a brain from a border collie, it has heightened my hearing to super human proportions, for example, I can hear what people are saying from a very long way away, such as people talking at the end of my road over 1/2 a mile away, no other normal human would be able to hear such things, as they are out of audible range in humans, but I have the part of the dogs brain that is to do with hearing and intelligence.

And do you know what else, if my neck wasn't broken, I would be able to run as fast as a dog, I would be the fastest human on 2 legs, it's just a shame that I have no use of my legs now, though there is one downside to having half a dogs brain, every time I see a cat on television, I can feel my back going up, it's same with sheep, if I watch a farming programme and there are sheep on it, I find my tongue lolling about and I get excited at the sight of them, and when the shepherd blows his whistle, I feel like running around my home, except I can get up to run, it's all very annoying, which is all due the the border collie previously being a sheepdog, so the imprints from birth in the dogs brain have remained, there are not many other side effects, although I do like biscuits and I often have the feeling that my tail is wagging, obviously it's not, because I don't have a tail, that's just coming from the part of the brain which belonged to the dog.

This all leads to to my final point, when you say all I need is a brain to coordinate and manage business, I say this to you, I have more brain power in one half of my brain than the combined brains of you and the lawyer, so I ask you this question, will there ever be a baby boy born, who can swin faster than a shark?

I think that will happen very soon the way technology is going, I wouldn't mind being able to swim as fast as a shark, but having a fin on my back would destroy most of my shirts, unless I had shirts custom made with a flap of material to accommodate the fin, which will not be a problem with all the millions I will make from this business transaction, except there is nobody who can swim faster than a shark, and I don't have a fin on my back, so I wont need any custom made shirts.

Regards,

Axxxxx Vxxxxx.

The lawyer mailed me:

Quote:

Sir,

Having read through your last mail, I want you to understand that we are very competent in this job and can produce the desired result. By your strict compliance with stipulated instructions and guidelines, the fund will be released to you soon. Please clearly indicate how you want us to represent you or what you expect from us.

Thank you again for the opportunity you are availing us to represent you.

Regards,

Attorney Vxxxxx Lxxxxx

I sent the lawyer a reply:

Quote:

Dear Vxxxxx Lxxxxx,

Thank you for your email.

Firstly, I have followed your advice to the letter, the only thing I have not followed, is sending the money to you via Western Union, and that has already been explained in my last email why I did that, it appears you were not made aware by that imbecile, Mr Hxxxxx, that I am housebound and in a wheelchair, had you known that, you would not have expected me to go to Western Union to send your fees.

Mr Hxxxxx is an complete asshole of the highest order, I think he may have left his brains in his mothers womb. Would it be possible for me to hire you to sue him? We could sue him for being stupid, because stupidity is the thing he excels at, he's also a shit, could we do that, sue him I mean?

I have explained things to him many times, but talking to him is like talking to a loaf of stale bread, he has the mental capacity of a boiled potato that has been mashed with slightly salted butter and cream over a low heat, or does his head contain scrambled eggs, I have never had the displeaseure of emailing anyone so stupid in all of my life, it is a wonder that he can manage to log in to his email account, he's a damn fool.

So, back to business, how are you now expecting me to pay you? Because I certainly will not be sending my courier to your address again, there is no lawyers office at that address and nobody there by your name, the business at that address is something completely different, so I am assuming you either gave me the wrong address, or that you gave me your old office address where you no longer work?

As to what I expect from you, you say you are based in London, well, I am only a very short distance from London, I live in kent, and as per my email to you and Mr Hxxxxx yesterday, I want someone from Exxon or from your office, to come to my home and collect the money in from me in cash, because I certainly wont be sending anything via courier again after the last fiasco with you giving me incorect address details, you still have the same address in your email now as, xxx, Exxxxx Place London SW7 xxx, which is THE WRONG ADDRESS.

I see no reason why you, Mr Hxxxxx, or your representatives cannot to come to me in my home, I am an invalid and you are all fully able to get here, it is very close to London, I would of course be happy to pay any expenses that it will cost you to get here, which wont be much as it is a very short train ride from Victoria train station in London, to where I live.

Regards,

Axxxxx Vxxxxx.

Master Baiter Joined: 26 Jun 2007 Posts: 110

SP, i love the way you are slapping them. They are obviously not reading the emails at all. Maybe, they can not understand then. Twisted Evil

But. they are willing to be slapped even more, in order to achive the target Wink

Great Bait SP !

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

A few emails to update, the lawyer asked me to confirm my home address:

Quote:

Sir,
Please confirm your House address and your direct / personal telephone number so that we can send somebody to pick up the money from your house.
Thank you again for the opportunity you are availing us to represent you.
Regards,
Attorney Vxxxxx Lxxxxx LL. M, QC

xxx, Exxxxx Place London SW7 xxx

I sent the lawyer a reply confirming my address:

Quote:

Dear Vxxxxx Lxxxxx,

Thank you for your email.

I am very happy that at last, you are going to get someone to come and collect the money from me, and as I said to Mr Hxxxxx, I am quite prepared to pay up to £100,000 to you or E x x o n M obil, in order to make this transaction come to fruition, this is a great investment opportunity for me, being disabled as I am, and although I have got a little over £400,000 pounds in cash at home at my disposal, that money will not last me for ever, so I need this E x x o n contract so much, it will be a much needed lifeline for me, there is no other way I will be able to earn the millions that Mr Hxxxxx has said I will earn from this contract, it is imperative that I get this contract at all costs, and I will pay in cash whatever I need to pay, to make it become reality!!!!!

As per the request in your email, here again is my home address and phone number:

1. Address: 1 The T0ll B00th, Vxxxxx Pxxxxx, Rxxxxx, Kent, United Kingdom

3. Phone Number: 07947-xxxxxx

Please advise me of a particular time that you will phone me, beacuse being disabled, if I am asleep during the day, as I sometimes am, and I need to get to the phone, it may take me some time to reach it as I have difficulty getting up off the bed on my own. If I don't answer please leave a message stating what time you will call me back, thank you.

Regards,

Axxxxx Vxxxxx

I told the lad I lived at an address in kent, that doesn't actually exist, but the address sounds a lot like the address of this place in the photo, which will be the place I am telling him is my home, it's directly opposite my flat and I will have webcam and video running if they show up:

My flat is just slightly closer to the kiosk than the white building behind it is, I'm on the other side of the road where the woman with the dog is walking to. The kiosk is a tiny cafe, it's not open all the time at this time of year, usually is at weekends, but the owner must check the local weather sites, and if it's going to be cloudy or a chance of rain, he doesn't usually open, today was actually a nice day here, but he was closed again, presumably because it was forecast to have a small rain shower here this afternoon, but it never did, so as long as I check the weather before inviting the lad, I will pick a day when rain is due, and when the lad gets to the train station, I will tell him to tell the taxi driver to take him to the Toll kiosk on my street as all the drivers will know where that is.

I got a reply from the lawyer this morning, obviously doesn't read my email properly Rolling Eyes

:

Quote:

Attention: Axxxxx Vxxxxx,

Please send a working telephone number, the one you sent is permanently on voicemail or inactive.

Thank you again for the opportunity you are availing us to represent you.

Regards,

Attorney Vxxxxx Lxxxxx

I sent her a reply:

Quote:

Dear Vxxxxx Lxxxxx,

Thank you for your email.

The number I gave you IS a working number, perhaps you should go back and read the email I sent to you yesterday, where I clearly stated this to you:

"Please advise me of a particular time that you will phone me, beacuse being disabled, if I am asleep during the day, as I sometimes am, and I need to get to the phone, it may take me some time to reach it as I have difficulty getting up off the bed on my own. If I don't answer please leave a message stating what time you will call me back, thank you."

Either you didn't read what I wrote, or you completely ignored what I wrote.

Whilst it might be easy for you to get up and quickly answer a telephone when it rings, being disabled as I am, I have difficulty getting up off the bed, also, if I am sleeping, the phone will be turned off, which is why you are getting voicemail, and is also the reason that I asked you to tell me a time you will be calling, so that I will be awake and have my phone turned on, it is always turned off when I am snoozing so that I don't get disturbed.

Do you have any idea at all what it is like to be disabled? I am in terrible pain all the time, I spend many hours each night lieing in my bed wide awake, with my body aching so much that I cannot sleep, that is why I often have to catch up on my sleep during the daytime, and I don't want phones ringing and waking me up, so the phone is set to voicemail when I sleep, the phone is also off at other times when I am awake, so that I don't run my battery down, hence why I asked you to give me a time that you will be calling me.

Please start reading what I am writing to you, if you keep ignoring the things I write, how on earth do you expect things to go smoothly.

Regards,

Axxxxx Vxxxxx

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

A reply from the lawyer, they will be calling again tomorrow, my phone has been on voicemail, I will have my laptop on ready, and try to get a recording of the conversation, using the external mikes on the laptop and the phone on loud speaker, don't know what the quality will be like though:

Quote:

Attention: Axxxxx Vxxxxx,

The number is permanently on answering machine. I'm trying to make things happen but you are not helping matters at all. I will be calling again by 12noon tomorrow. Please send a working telephone number, the one you sent is permanently on voicemail or inactive.

Thank you again for the opportunity you are availing us to represent you.

Regards,

Attorney Vxxxxx Lxxxxx

Sent a confirmation for tomorrows call:

Quote:

Dear Vxxxxx Lxxxxx,

I have been feeling unwell the last couple of nights and got no sleep, I have not had my phone turned on during the day as I was sleeping, I will make sure that my phone is turned on when you call tomorrow (Friday 14th) at 12 noon sharp.

Regards,

Axxxxx Vxxxxx.

[edit, Friday]

No call from the lad yet, sent a short reminder:

Quote:

Dear Vxxxxx Lxxxxx,

I am here, it is now 12:30pm and my phone is on, you have not called yet, you said you would call at 12:00 noon, I am awaiting your call.

Regards,

Axxxxx Vxxxxx.

[edit]

It's just after 5:00pm and nobody called me Evil or Very Mad

, I gave them a new time to call tomorrow:

Quote:

Dear Vxxxxx Lxxxxx,

So much for you calling me at 12:00 noon today, why didn't you call?

My phone has been switched on all day, and is still switched on now at this time, which is 5:10pm, yet you never called, why not? Please do not give me a time when you say you are calling, and then not bother calling at that time, that annoys me a lot, and just gives me further proof of just how useless you and Mr Hxxxxx are, you can't even manage to make a simple phone call, buffoons!

You can call me again tomorrow (Saturday 15th) at 1:00pm exactly, my phone will be on, I expect your call at that time.

Regards,

Axxxxx Vxxxxx.

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

The lawyer finally gets back to me, apparently it is my fault for not making myself reachable, wtf, maybe she should try calling me when she says she will Rolling Eyes

:

Quote:

Attention: Axxxxx Vxxxxx,

The story is still the same, you should make yourself open and reachable to enable us assist you. It is quite unfortunate that we are facing this challenge in reaching you and that has made our efforts of no effect. Please make the relevant adjustment to enable us assist you accordingly.

Regards,

Attorney Vxxxxx Lxxxxx

I sent her a reply:

Quote:

Dear Vxxxxx Lxxxxx,

What do you mean by I should make myself open and reachable? You know damn well that I sent you emails the other day, you told me you would be calling at 12:00 noon last Friday, my phone was switched on at that time, I waited all day long for your phone call, I then sent you 2 emails asking why you did not phone me, I mailed you at 12:30pm asking why you had not called at 12:00pm, I emailed you again at just after 5:00pm.

In my email I told you to call me on Saturday at 1:00pm, again, you never phoned me, I am very open and easily reached, what you need to do is very simple, I will type this very slowly so that you can undersand it:

1) Pick up your phone and listen for the dialling tone.

2) Dial my phone number.

3) Wait for the rining tone.

4) I hear my phone ringing and answer my phone.

5) You say hello, I say hello back, we chat, and then everything will be settled.

Now isn't that simple? Yet you seem to find difficulty in phoning me, how did you manage to get a law degree, I am amazed that you could even find your way to the classroom at university, are you by any chance related to a sloth? Sorry, my mistake, sloths are much quicker than you, a sloth with only 3 toes could manage to dial my number faster than you can, again, I say to you, give me a specific time when you will be calling, and I will be waiting for your call, don't bother giving me a time and then not bothering to call me, that just wastes my time waiting for you to call, I am already losing patience with you, call when you say you are going to call!

Regards,

Axxxxx Vxxxxx.

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Dec 2005 Posts: 3551

Quote:

a sloth with only 3 toes could manage to dial my number faster than you can,

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

The lawyer called, but my phone was off, again, she never told me any time she would be calling at, so I will say I was asleep:

Quote:

Attention: Axxxxx Vxxxxx,

Called you but to no avail and I left you a voice mail message. Please help us to serve you better.

Regards,

Attorney Vxxxxx Lxxxxx

Here is the short recorded call, it's not good quality, as I had my phone on loudspeaker and recorded it with the laptop mic, does that sound female to you, or a bloke acting female?:

http://www.zshare.net/video/37344672c40e90

[edit]

I sent the lawyer a reply:

Quote:

Dear Vxxxxx Lxxxxx,

Thank you for your call, I received your message, unfortunately, I was asleep when you called, how many times I have told you that you need to email me and tell me when you will be phoning me?

This just proves again that you do not read anything that I write, let me tell you again, so that you will understand, send me an email, and in your email, tell me what date and time you will be phoning me, I will then make sure I am awake with my phone switched on at that time, it is pointless you phoning me at random times, as I may be asleep when you call, so give me the date and time of your next call!

I must say, I like the sound of your voice, you sound quite husky and sexy, I bet you are a very sultry woman, are you married? I am single as you know, but I would like to get to know you better once this business deal has been concluded, maybe you could come to my home afterwards, and if we can get some people to carry me down the stairs, we could then go for a romantic stroll along the beach with you pushing my wheelchair through the sand, would you like that?

Regards,

Axxxxx Vxxxxx.

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

I have not heard from this lad for a week now, so it may be over, I sent her an email to see if I get a response:

Quote:

Dear Vxxxxx Lxxxxx,

I have not heard from your or Mr Hxxxxx for some time now, you were supposed to send me an email telling me what time you would be phoning at, you never gave me a time, when are you phoning me? I desperatley want to continue with this business deal, you are not helping matters by not following simple protocols!

Regards,

Axxxxx Vxxxxx.

Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2007 1:33 pm

It is a guy on the phone, trying to sound like a lady. Too bad if this one runs dry...