Third Anniversary Safari - (Video p. 63)

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Posted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 4:44 pm

Ed wrote:

I am not too stable in mind right now..

You've just GOT to love that! Laughing

Posted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 5:52 pm

awwwww He's apologising to me!!!

Quote:

Dear Father John Black,
First of all , I must aplogise for the embarrasment my last must have caused you.Iam really sorry..When I went through Sa'ead's mail,I realised I was really wrong..Please,find it in your heart to forgive me.With your help I wouldn't have gotten this far..I want you to know that ever grateful to you.I've just recieved a mail from Sa'ead Aziz..Below is my response to him..I also got a call from Amy at the early hours of yesterday.She is aware of the rescue operation..The Iman at Mosque told her..She was very excited..She thinks Iam already on my way to Maradi,but when I told her I was still at home she broke down started crying..I felt really bad..I don't like seeing her cry..It hurts me..Right now,Iam ready for the trip,but I want you to know that presently Iam broke.I don't have cash on hand..I will need time to raise some money,but as it stands right now time is not really on our side.I've already asked Sa'ead Aziz to assist me financially..I will pay back immediately this is over.I've also asked him to fill in some gaps for me I make it over to Kano or Maradi.
At this point,It is important you know that I've just returned from my trip to Singapore..Since I came back to Nigeria,I've not really had time for myself..Amy disappearance have really way me down emotionally..I find it difficult to think or do other things.It is like I've lost my reason for living..There is no more joy,happiness and peace in mind..All I think about is Amy..I want her back..She is my Joy and Happiness.Frankily speaking,If I had money on me right now,I would've probably be on my way to Maradi..I need money for the trip..I want you to see reasons with me.I want to leave for maradi atmost tommorrow.I look for to your response.
Thanks and God bless.
Edward Smith.

Posted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 6:27 pm

Well, obviously the money he needs is up in Maradi, waiting for him. Duhhhh.... He must NOT delay! Amy's life depends on his acting fast!

Hahahaha, another safari.....

*** BANNED *** Joined: 10 Jan 2004 Posts: 3779

If he's so afraid of the baddies recognizing him from the picture then why doesn't he disguise himself as a fat woman with wig and pillow? His enemies only know him as a barely "male" specimen.

Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:34 am

^^^^^^ooohhhh and dressing in drag can get him arrested.

TFI - - you are simply evil.

LOVE IT!!!

Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 10:43 am

He'll need to send a pic of himself in drag though, so the good guys can recognise him.

Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 12:59 pm

Unfortunately, Ed has gone as far as he is willing to go:

Quote:

Dear Sa'ead Aziz,
Iam sorry for the late response.At moment my bank account is red..I spent all I had on my trip to Singapore.I made away with almost all my valuable property before I embarked on the trip,because I thought I wasn't coming back to Nigeria.Asking me to go and borrow from my friends won't yield any fruit.My friends doesn't want me to embark on the trip to Maradi,Niger Rep.They all believe it is a trap.Nobody will be willing to give me money for the trip.Frankily speaking,Iam broke.If I had a quick way of raising the money for the trip,I wouldn't have asked you in the first place.I've also sent Father John Black a mail on saturday telling him the same thing,but I've not gotten his response.At the moment,time is not on our side..Just send the amount of money you feel that will cover my transportation fare to your present location.If I get the money today,I will take the next available flight to kano.
As regards Usman,He doesn't know anything about me.Since I came back from Singapore we've been exchanging mail.He engaged me in a kind of mind game.He wanted to get some information out from me.Unfortunately for him the more he dug the more confused he became.The reason why he wanted me to do the carving and send it to Ozzi was first he wanted to know my present location..Secondily,he also wanted to know if I've collected the inheritance.But he failed.The simple fact is that he doesn't know my present location.He doesn't know my phone number not to of talk of bugging my phone conversation..The only he has is my photograph.Even if I give him the address to my present location.He wouldn't have the guts to come after me,because he may not come back alive.He knows Iam on his trail.
Presently,Iam somewhere in Edo State.If you are willing to assist me,I want you to send me the money via western union local/internatonal money transfer with the name Edward Smith.My present location in Edo state is Benin city.Do it and send me the scanned copy of the western union reciept.Like I promised earlier,I will pay you back immediately this is over.I also want know your present location..Are people still in Kano?.. I want you to start making arrangements on how to pick me up in airport.Call me on the phone number I gave you,It will save us a lot time and trouble.I guess you know today is monday..Time is not on our side.Please,act fast..We need to be the move.I need to be there before the marriage.Iam going to be forwarding the most recent mail I got from Usman..He seems to be scared already.I look forward to your urgent response.
Thanks and God bless.
Edward Smith.

So I slapped him:

Quote:

Salam Alaikum, Dear Ed,
I do not have time to play games with you. We are the experts in these matters and know what we are doing and what we are talking about. You contacted us for help, so you are going to have to play by our rules. I do not have time to play cat and mouse with you. Either you are going to get on the road and get here to make our plan work or I am going to have to spend time and money to devise a plan B. Do not email me back unless you are going to help us. I don't have time for excuses.
Salam,
Sa'eed

Now.....if Ed is not going to go - - Sa'eed is going to "drop him like he's hot" and this gives George a good reason to call Ed and give him the cursing of a lifetime for screwing up the plans to save Amy.

Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 2:04 pm

What a tool. To Usman:

Quote:

Iam too smart for you to get..Iam always a step ahead of you..I know the game you are playing..You want know if I've collected the inheritance..It won't lead you to anywhere..Keep on digging until you go mad.."ROGUE"..Let me tell you something,I will get Amy before the wedding in Niger Rep with or without you..I was in kano,I located the house near Bayero University where Amy was kept..Your Fahdid is quite rich..I know about his son Ahab..People around him don't seem to like him..He is HIV positive..He is going to get married to Amy very soon..HI wish him luck..I promise you something,Iam going to kill you myself..I going to strike like a thief in the night..because you don't deserve to be alive.You are evil.Your Organisation will grumble like a pack of card..It is promise.
.So long foooooooooooooooool

I wrote him back and told him he must be smoking some good ganja to get that kind of courage. And that I knew he didn't have the inheritance because had he gotten it, it would be mine now.
Hey PDS, if you want a rise out him tell him that Usman has contacted you as his legal representative. Very Happy

Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 2:17 pm

Well since he thinks that UB doesn't know his phone # - - I showed him different....LOL

Quote:

I just went to check email and found some IMs from Ed. LOL

Quote:

edward: fool..how ar you today
Sent at 10:28 on Monday
edward: I given you my location threen times
but u failed
one time about u is that u are mouthy
Sent at 10:31 on Monday
edward: one tthing about u is that u are mouthy
Sent at 10:33 on Monday
edward: hustle now,when u got life..because death will soon catch up with you
Sent at 10:35 on Monday
me: ha ha ha
u funny stoopid shit

In reply to "GUESS WHAT ?.." View it
edward is offline. Messages you send will be delivered when edward comes online.
Press Enter to send your message.

WARNING MR. MUGU:
When you go into UB's email account. Be warned that I just sent a really NASTY message to Ed - so nasty that I can't post it here - - along with a photo - so I'm sorry - but let me warn you that you will vomit when you read the message and view the pic!

Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:07 pm

Longterm, I think usman getting his hands on the money is an excellent idea. Even longer term, I have a long-suffering lad called Usman who'll take the blame. Smile

This house near Bayero University: is this the house of an oga, or what? No harm in letting Ed go on a crusade against it if it is.

Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 1:14 am

Ooooh 3d is broke and no one will lend him money Sad

hasn't he heard of hitch hiking?! Laughing

Perhaps he needs some WU enticement?

Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 1:53 am

LOL He has emailed me back.

Then I forwarded my last email to him....DUH - - I think he should read it AGAIN.

Quote:

Dear Sa'ead Aziz,
I am still waiting for your response..I prefer you send me a mail immediately.When is the wedding taking place?.You need to act fast,because I need to be the move...We need get Amy before the wedding takes place..I look forward to your response.
Thanks and God bless.
Edward Smith.

I sent him another email....

Quote:

Salam Alaikum, Mr. Smith,
I will be traveling to Niger Rep. tomorrow, so I will be unavailable through email until later in the afternoon. I hope you'll be joining me there. We must act fast, as Amy thought you would have been there to rescue her by today. I'm sure she is very disappointed right now and thinks she's been lied to. I imagine that she waited and watched the clock all day waiting and waiting. The psychological trauma she must be going through right now to see that you did not hold up to your end must be really hurtful. In fact, I sit here and wonder what kind of man you are to not do everything you can to help the woman you say you want to marry. This does not suggest that you are a man of merit, and I am really disappointed for Amy. From what I hear, she believes in you and has trusted you with her entire heart. This is really a disappointing moment. I've no idea what we are going to do now. There isn't a plan B, and Father John Black has his hands full trying to save several million people due to a terrorist threat. I'll just have to go see if I can talk to the Imam and find out if there's anything I can do to stop the engagement, but I'm afraid that without a real reason, the Koran does not allow such a thing to happen. The only real reason that a wedding could be stopped is if the man or woman to be wed is in love with someone else and that person comes to confess their love for the one being married. Other than that, arranged marriages in Islam happen every day between people who have never met and do not love each other.

Perhaps Amy will begin to love Ahab.

Salam,
Sa'eed Aziz

Now - choose your own adventure:

a) Amy is rescued and told that Ed died. Ed continues to be in contact with FJB and Sa'eed....who just drive him nuts. I'd have to decide what would next happen to Amy - so that Ed could hear about her wonderful life without him...Maybe she goes to the U.S. and is living a good life - and we try to get him to the U.S.

b) Amy is NOT rescued because nothing can be done to stop the wedding. People blame Ed. Ed receives newspaper articles abut the wedding - UB taunts him with more photos from the ceremony....Ed doesn't get to hear from Amy again - - but hears about her from other people - - later finds out she's pregnant.....and even later - like a year later finds out Amy is now HIV positive - still Ed is blamed - - and eventually Amy dies - and it's all Ed's fault - he has to hear about this for years and years and years.

I think Plan B is the most psychologically traumatizing for Ed.

Either way - Amy could also always end up in the Bahamas.....

Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 3:24 am

Amy should blame Ed for being an incompetent idiot. She can always deny saying it later. Rub some salt in those wounds.

Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 4:53 am

While b) would certianly be the most traumatic for Ed, I kind of like the drama of option a). With option a), he can keep chasing the dream Twisted Evil

forever!

Maybe she gets rescued by Sa'ead Aziz, who tells Amy what a gutless punk he is. She cots off contact with him for a while, and goes into hiding in the Bahamas. Father Black keeps Ed up to date... but she doesn't want to see him... until Christmas. At that time, Ed is told which rinky trink little island she is on (think small, expensive, insular with population 179), and off he goes... only he arrives too late! She's off on a yacht back to Singapore.....

Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 11:14 am

Well S'dA is on his way to Niger right now, so he can't email Ed back.

Quote:

Dear Sa'ead Aziz,
After all my explanations..It seems to don't understand it..I don't have money on me right now..Iam doing I could raise money for the trip,but it seems to be yielding any fruit.I've asked you to assist me,but it seems you don't really want to assist me.I love Amy there doubt about it.If I had money,I would've probably be in Niger Rep since yesterday.You are quite right about what Amy will be going through at the moment..It is really painful.As it stands,Iam really confused.I don't know what to do..Do you want go and rob,so as to raise money for the trip.I love Amy and I want her back.I want you to see reasons with me.Help me
edward smith.

Going to make him feel guilty for being the piece of shit that got Amy into this.

I think it's time for George to give him a call!!

Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 11:19 am

It has to be A, maybe with a twist. Rather than being rescued she is re-kidnapped by U5m4n because F4hd1d never paid the full bride price. F4hd1d and his cronies are dead, U5m4n tells Amy that Ed is a coward and committed suicide rather than try to rescue her. U5m4n tells Ed all of this and that he is going to keep Amy for himself.

After a short while she could find out that Ed is alive after all and she invites him to join her in the Bahamas. But and this is a big but, he will have to prove he is not a coward and he really does love Amy by financing the trip himself, after all, once he gets there he will be able to collect his inheritance, marry Amy and live happily ever after.

Unfortunately the invite was a ruse. Amy is suffering from Stockholm syndrome, falls in love with U5m4n and married him. It was his idea to lure Ed to the Bahamas and then strand him there.

As you can see, I'm not very good at this as it all falls down at the end.

Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 12:27 pm

TurkeyTrotter wrote:

falls in love with U5m4n and married him. It was his idea to lure Ed to the Bahamas and then strand him there.

As you can see, I'm not very good at this as it all falls down at the end.

Whaddaya mean, "all falls down at the end"? Stranding 3d in the Bahamas without a cent to his name would be the ultimate result surely? The Bahamians would no doubt take great pity on 3d, and would help him with his quest...wouldn't they??? Laughing

Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 1:25 pm

Sorta A. Amy gets rescued by FJB and others and is whisked off to the Bahamas... by Usman. Who then tells Ed that FJB was set up by Usman because he didn't get all his money. He decided that to torment Ed, he takes the girl for himself. That way Usman can taunt Ed by telling him there's nothing Ed has that Usman can't take from him. Amy eventually gets back to Ed and tells him what a worthless shit he his.
Hmmmm, come to think of it, maybe George rescues Amy at the last moment. That might make Ed even more mad.

Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 2:07 pm

How about the groom runs off with a stripper from the bachelor party the night before the wedding? We could give Ed a wedding date, just to psychologically torture him for a week or two, knowing that he's losing his Amy. Then break the news to him a day or two after the wedding date.

However, here's an idea... if there is anyone baiting a Lad using the U5m@n B3ll0 name, introduce a character named Amy into that bait, and bring the two baits together for a Mugu Hoedown. We could find out what Ed's really made of!

Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 2:15 pm

Another idea.....

FJB has seen the video of Ed and his pics - - the other guys "haven't"

UB sends one of his cronies to Niger to PRETEND to be Ed and confess his undying love for Amy. He gets Amy and leaves. Then Sa'eed emails Ed to ask how he and Amy are getting on and how he was so proud of him for "stepping up to the plate." And then Ed is like WTF? I wasn't there?

So WHERE is Amy?

We have no idea.

Then a week or so later, UB sends Ed pics of Amy with another guy who works for him - and Amy thinks that he is Ed. UB laughs....

And we move forward......

Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 3:07 pm

"Amy thinks that he is Ed"

I like it. Has Amy seen pics of Ed?

LW

Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 4:23 pm

I'm thinking that G3orge, 0zzy et al. should manage to get @my free from the clutches of the Dragons. They can then send here to the Bahamas where she can go for a three-month recuperation vacation at a hidden retreat on an obscure island.

Then, she gets back in to contact with Ed, and convinces him to go on another safari to the Bahamas where they can get married and Ed can claim his share of the inheritence.

Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 4:54 pm

I love her going off with "the wrong guy". Will Amy be able to recognize 3d by a tatoo in a certain place?

Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 5:52 pm

^^She gets rescued by an "Ed" impersonator. Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 3193

You shouldn't make things easier on 3d if he doesn't go to Kano. He should be kicking himself for not going. So really rescuing Amy is a no no. I like the U5man plot.

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