Bitch Thread

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Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 3:58 am

Tommo Shanter wrote:

People who complain about footballers who earn $20m a year. Eerr, excuse me, haven't you heard of the term supply and demand?

I hate professional sports with a passion; am I allowed to complain about how much sports "stars" make? Laughing

Bitch of the day from me: Looky-loos. Traffic accidents happen, we all know this; so WHY does every moron passing by an accident on the freeway have to slow down to 2MPH and GAWK! It took me over an hour to go 2 miles on a 5 lane freeway, not because emergency personnel blocked traffic to clear the accident and help the victims (that had long since been done), but because several hundred idiots with driver's licenses felt the deep need to to slow to a crawl and goggle out the window at the wrecked cars and fire trucks. Evil or Very Mad

Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 4:20 am

SF, That sucks big time! Ahhhhh

419Eater is my life Joined: 11 Apr 2005 Posts: 365

Incompetence...

Lounging around this evening, preparing myself to go pick the kids up from school, I get a phone call from City Hall. The District Attorney wants to know where I am. I was scheduled to be in court today to testify in the attempted murder case that I worked. I call the District Attorney's Office and advise them that I had received no subpoena. They advise that I am needed in court NOW! That usually means that if you don't show up, a warrant will be issued for contempt and you will go to jail. So, jump in the shower, get dressed as fast as possible and head for the Courthouse. Two hours on the stand and I'm finally released from court for today.

My subpoena, had been given to the Chief over a week ago, and he forgot he had it in his patrol vehicle. This man is in his eighties and forgets everything...he needs to RETIRE!

Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2007 8:35 am

Just

Don't know what's wrong with me. Just had enough I guess.
I told my boss that security where I work is a joke. Had a guy come in off the street. He was high on something that made his pupils like pins. (Yeah, I know what it was, but don't wanna go into it) There was only two of us in the building at the time. I'm not a panic merchant by a long shot, but I was scared.
Called the security company who have a 'guaranteed call out of 5 minutes.' Yeah right.
50 minutes it took for them to get to us.
50 bloody minutes.

Don't know what's wrong with me now though, just feel like Crying or Very sad

Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2007 7:14 pm

Having to reread the same threads over and over because of the people who are unable to search for things.

--no offense intended--

Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2007 9:13 pm

My boss. Or rather my boss's boss. Totally pennypinching, robotic and officious with no sense of humour. All jokes are met with the same expression as that of a dog shown a card trick.

Examples:
At lunches she frequently send water back because it isn't tap water and she doesn't want to pay.
At a leaving lunch for someone who have been working there long before she joined, she refused to chip in with the bill stating that she only had a sandwich and tap water (while complaining ever so politely that I had TWO beers in a two hour period.)
Loves to regale a captivated audience with her tales of the epic battles she has at Tesco (she marks off and adds up everything on the lest as she puts them into bags herself to make sure she isn't getting done)
She makes me so annoyed that I bitch about her outside of work to the point of boring everyone.

Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2007 11:29 pm

Emit Scarab wrote:

Totally pennypinching, robotic and officious with no sense of humour. All jokes are met with the same expression as that of a dog shown a card trick.

Fantastic line...Love it Laughing

Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 12:14 pm

http://youtube.com/watch?v=KpSfThUv_pc

Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 7:53 pm

Another telephone cold caller.

I'm registered with the TPS in the UK which basically means no unsolicited calls allowed.Yer right. Anyway this 'investment analist' (sic) wants to know if I'm interested in investing in the US of A. Of course I am, the dollar is weak compared to every currency in the world apart from Mugabe's dollar.

I express my concerns about the US economy and he is sympathetic and tries to ally them. So I tell him "I'd love to invest in the USA but I don't agree with the war and Ge0rge Bush is a complete c*nt". End of conversation.

I can't type any more now because my emails are now being monitored by the powers that be. Shocked

[Edit] Sorry if this sounds political. It wasn't meant to be. I was merely pissed because this muppet invaded my privacy.

Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2007 3:55 am

ONLY USE KETCHUP FROM PACKETS IN FAST FOOD OUTLETS!!!!!

A man was caught placing blood in the ketchup dispenser at a fast food outlet (to remain unnamed) within the last month. It is believed that he is HIV+. So be sure to pass it on.
Shocked

Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2007 3:47 pm

corona wrote:

A man was caught placing blood in the ketchup dispenser at a fast food outlet (to remain unnamed) within the last month. It is believed that he is HIV+.

I hope he wasn't at the mayonnaise too. Wink

Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2007 3:52 pm

How can we have the technology to send astronauts to the moon, divers to the bottom of the sea, yet we still can't invent a machine to evenly distribute the toppings on a frozen pizza? Twisted Evil

B-S

Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2007 10:53 pm

Make your own pizza and stop whining. Is that all? Your bloody pizza?

Geez, my DVD player crapped out. That's way more important than your stupid pizza. Wink

Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2007 11:36 pm

^^^ That comment certainy lends to this topic. Perhaps Jamie could use an oven, as opposed to a DVD player to cook pizza. Bloody stupid whining DVD users!

Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2007 11:40 pm

You can't even spell my name right. Next time make sense when you type something. A DVD in an oven?

I give you credits for your avatar tho. Cat pics with a "funny" caption is so funny. Razz

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 30 Aug 2007 Posts: 9

My bitch is the swine Google ... it directed me here .. no DEA warning of this is more dangerous than crack .. can i sue for the cost of of rib repairs?
If so I know a great ghanain lawyer!

Posted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 8:10 am

Hey Jaime. Play nice with Joe Tam. He is loved by each and every one of us. Evil or Very Mad

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Apr 2007 Posts: 3123

Yes, play nice. It's my thread, and also a post-whoral type thing, to keep my postcount up! I don't want it deleted.

Posted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 10:06 pm

it wasn't me wrote:

Hey Jaime. Play nice with Joe Tam. He is loved by each and every one of us. Evil or Very Mad

I am.

Please tell me where i was being rude to JoeTam, i can't see it.

Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 1:09 am

^^^

Jaime_Lannister wrote:

You can't even spell my name right. Next time make sense when you type something. A DVD in an oven?

I give you credits for your avatar tho. Cat pics with a "funny" caption is so funny. Razz

Did I get the meaning wrong? If so, I apologise. If not, uncalled for.

Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 1:18 am

I didn't wanted to insult anyone or get this thread to be deleted. Just leave it at that. And if for some strange reason you are offended by my post i'll apologize.

Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 9:23 am

My wife started applying for an Open University course. She sent off to the Jobcentre for them to stamp the form for the grants but then changed her mind and didn't apply after all. On the 23rd of last month we got a letter saying they'd stopped our Income Support because of it. I took a letter in to my local Jobcentre the same day saying that she wasn't applying after all.

Jump forward to today. Still no money, so I phoned them up. THEY HAVEN'T RECEIVED THE LETTER I HANDED INTO MY LOCAL JOBCENTRE so can't send me any money out til I send them ANOTHER ONE!! By Wednesday it'll mean I'm short almost �350 over the past 2 weeks. I'm having to spend this month's car finance money to pay my bills. My wife's in hospital right now, and I need petrol money to visit her every day on top of everything else...... You can guess the kind of mood I'm in Evil or Very Mad

Add to that the actions of my 10 year old son. Last night we had a fire to burn off a load of crap from the shed. He's going out with his carer today for a few hours. 30 seconds before she arrives, he walks in from the garden covered in soot all over his new clothes, face and arm. I go out the kitchen and find 3 eggshells stamped into the floor. Go to the garden and find he's smashed an egg on the path by the door. He's autistic, which explains his actions, but I just didn't need it today of all days. All this by 10am!!!

(edit) I've just discovered he's also decided to make himself cereal in a mixing bowl (yes, you read that right) , using an entire pint of milk and the last of the sugar. So I can't even have a cup of tea to start my day. The worst thing is, he must have left 3/4 of it.

Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 11:53 am

Bush is coming tomorrow...With black hawk helicopters that supposedly use up 7 gallons of fuel an hour.

If MY taxes (thankfully not yet) are going towards flying a bloody helicopter around using up ridiculous amounts of fuel to jam mobile phone signals near a summit that's suppose to be about global warming, I'm gonna be pissed.

Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 12:27 pm

Unannounced, unexpected, totally-take-you-by-surprise mouth ulcers. WHY?!?!?

Here's me yesterday:
la la la, I'm as healthy as I can be, la la la.

Here's me this morning when I woke up:
Good morn---OW! What?!? Why? Ouch! I'll have to make porridge---ow!---for breakfast, there's no way I can eat---ow, damn it!---anything else.

Mouth ulcers? Worst invention EVER.

Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 7:03 pm

^^ Put some salt on it, or swish warm salt water around your mouth. Painful yes, but it works faster than letting nature takes it's course.

My latest bitch is sneaky dingbat bitches you work with that lie for no apparent reason. Well really it's only 1 sneaky dingbat bitch, but i hate her w/ a passion. Evil or Very Mad

She is always f*cking up the computers, printers, & fax then claiming she doesn't know what happened it just doesn't work. Is there a quick & simple cure? This is a recent interaction when she claimed the printer wasn't working:

Printer: (In all caps) OUT OF TONER
Me: (to SDB): Did you change the toner?
SDB: Yes.
Me: (to self) OMG bitch stop lying!

On the fax machine not working:

SDB: The fax machine isn't working & I don't know why UGH.
Me: Is there paper in the fax machine?
SDB: Yeah I checked it a little while ago. But when I put paper in it it jams up & I don't know why UGH.
Me: Is there a paper jam?
SDB: No I don't think so.
Me: Have you checked?
SDB: Yeah I checked that already.
Me: So is there a paper jam or not?
SDB: No I don't think so.
Me: (to self) OMG stop lying bitch just say no you didn't check it!
Me: (to SDB) OK, I'll come down & look at it. (I go down to her office, of course there is not a single sheet of paper in the fax machine plus the cover is open).
Me: There was no paper in the fax machine. You have to put paper in the fax machine. Plus the cover was open, you have to make sure it's closed otherwise it won't do anything.
SDB: But I just put paper in there yesterday so I don't know when it ran out.
Me: Well just put the paper in there & it should work fine.
(SDB puts in about 23 sheets of paper when you can load up to 500 sheets. The fax machine starts printing out the stored up faxes)
Me: Why don't you put more paper in so you don't have to keep doing that 5x a day?
SDB: Well if I put more paper in it might jam, I like doing it this way it's easier.
Me: OK.
Later that day (10 mins to be exact, ok well maybe 15 mins).
SDB: The fax machine keeps printing out stuff & won't let me send a fax. I don't know what's wrong UGH.
Me: It's printing out all the faxes that were stored in the memory while there was no paper in the fax machine. You have to wait until it's finished b4 you can send anything.
SDB: Well how long is that going to be?! I have to send this fax!
Me: How should I know?! I don't know how many faxes it has stored in there & how many pages each fax is.
SDB: Well OK then, I guess I'll just have to wait, but I hope it hurries up.
Me: Yep.
Me: (to self) This has got to be the dumbest bitch on the planet. How on earth did she graduate law school?!

On the Internet not working...

SDB: I can't get on the internet, I don't know what's wrong UGH.
Me: What is the problem exactly?
SDB: I click on the icon & it won't open at all.
Me: What?! Are you sure it doesn't open but has an error message?
SDB: And there are Xs over the computer thing at the bottom & it says network cable unplugged.
Me: You are wirelessly connected, that doesn't mean anything. What does the computer icon next to it say?
SDB: blah blah blah signal strength excellent, status connected.
Me: So then you should be able to get on the internet. If you can't I don't know what the problem is, I'm not the IT person around here you know.
SDB: But I can't get on!!!! UGH I don't know UGH!!!!
Me: OK, I'll come down there.
(Go down there, double click icon & voila google homepage miraculously appears)
Me: (to self) I really hate this stupid bitch.
Me: (to SDB) Um, you can get on the internet.
SDB: OMG how did you do that?!
Me: Double clicked the icon.
SDB: Oh see I was just clicking it once I guess I don't know UGH.
Me: (to self) Evil or Very Mad