Third Anniversary Safari - (Video p. 63)

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Posted: Sun Aug 26, 2007 7:50 pm

We want B8 Ed SUCCR for the tattoo..... Twisted Evil

But just one thing at a time.

Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 8:21 am

This is a personal note but relevant...somehow.

My wife never understood the art of baiting until she got personally involved in the attempt to get 3D's stuff out of the Singapore guesthouse. She now follows this thread daily and laughs her ass off.

Yesterday I went golfing and was late for a dinner reservation with my wife, her sister and my brother-in-law.
She picked up her sister + sister's husband in our car and left me to find them via taxi.

When I arrived at the restaurant, they were not there.
I SMS'ed my wife and she said her sister wasn't impressed with the first restaurant and they moved out to a famous seafood restaurant on the beach.
$20 taxi fare later I arrived only to find the place packed and no sign of my wife, her sister or my brother-in-law.

I then CALLED her on her mobile and she stated that the place was packed and they couldn't get a table so they moved back into town. I was of course not happy with the lack of communication on her part.

Another $20 taxi fare and I arrived in the 3rd restaurant. They were there and THEY WERE ALWAYS THERE. They had canceled the original reservation and decided to eat at this place earlier in the day.

My wife's explanation was simple. If I wanted to enjoy the golf course all day and I wasn't going to make it to dinner on time, I was "PUT ON SAFARI, JUST LIKE 3D!!!" Laughing

Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 8:28 am

bwaaaahahahahahahaha Laughing

What a fantastic sense of humour, absolutely classic... I suppose tomorrow's dinner will be in Dubai? Wink

Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 11:54 am

@asiaguy

What a Gal
Get your wife to sign up here so she can get her her pith helmet Smile

Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 12:24 pm

@asiaguy - I've never met her, never will, but I like your wife's style! Laughing

Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 1:13 pm

@asiaguy, that's too funny. Perhaps your wife should sign up here and start baiting lads; she's obviously got the skills!

In other news, Ed's replied back to Usman. I had planned to tell him the email was forwarded to Amy's account, but Ed just writes his own material. He's also been smoking something since his IPs not changed. I had hoped that he really was doing another safari.
I love the last line...

Quote:

Usman,
Whaooo..That is really good..You even have access to
Phil's mail box..You got it from Amy..I've warned you before..Stop
digging the more you dig the more confused you will become..What else
have you got?..It wouldn't lead you to anywhere..We have a deal and
Iam ready to do the biddings..I will have carving ready within the
next three(3)days..I waited for you throughout last week in my house
in Port Harcourt..Rightnow,Iam somewhere in the northern part of
Nigeria..As soon I come back,I will send you the picture of the
carving..How do you see that?..Like I mentioned earlier,I know this is
a trap..I can sense it..But I have no choice..I need Amy back..Don't
even think of double crossing me..I look forward to your response.
Thanks and God bless.

Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 2:27 pm

FJB has emailed Ed:

Quote:

I apologise for my delay. It's been a long few days and mass yesterday was not the same without Fr. Giovanni. Today I have meetings lined up to help Amy. We are working with FBI (and FBI-type) agents in several countries. We are also working with the American Embassy and have several Nigerian PIs and secret police. I have to tell you, though, I think that the Nigerian secret police may be involved with the gang we are after. I have a DEEP feeling that they are getting some funding from this group and are not going to be too helpful. Therefore, I have not shared too much information with them.

I saw where you have asked me to do the carving. Right now, my efforts are in finding Amy. I don't have extra time to run around to find someone to do a carving. Plus if I have to make those phone calls, they will be logged with the church. Then the church is going to ask why I was involved in the creating of a sculpture, and being a priest, I cannot be involved in the creation of any sculpture that is not of God or an angel or a saint. I hope you understand. You are on your own with this one, but I really do think that if you can get this done and get Usman to give you the address in Germany, we can check that address out. I do not think that he'd just look on the internet and give some random address of some innocent person. I think he wants this sculpture for some reason - probably some ritual. So, we need to find out where he wants to have this sent and start digging for some more information. I want to take down this entire group. The more I find out about them, the more I cannot believe what is going on.

Also, I want to apologise for Sister Dickinson's hysteria. She is a very devout nun, and she's very sensitive. We've had to put her in a padded room by herself, as she was trying to punish herself for what she learned from the emails. I think she may be going through the beginnings of Alzheimer's disease in her old age (She's 86 years old).

Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 6:56 pm

@Asiaguy--
ROTFLMAO!!
Your wife's only error: she told you that you'd been baited.
Now it will be harder to get you to take the bait next time. Very Happy

Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 11:29 pm

Mr. Mugu - check Ed's IP - it's changed.

But I can't believe where it's changed TO - so I need you to do an IP check.

Anyway - he sent this to FJB:

Quote:

I know the game Usman is trying to play..They are trying to track me down..They want to have make a carving and sent it through a courier company..If Iam to send it through a couier company..They will request for my contact address..From the sending point of the courier,they will be able to know the exact City and State,I presently reside.Today,I got a mail from him..He seems to know that I called him a snake in the last mail,I sent to you..He seems to knows that I've asked a Friend (that is you) to assist me to get a carver to do the wooden sculpture..He gave me a three days ultimatum to do the carving or forget about Amy..
Now,I will not be able to get a carver that can get the sculpture ready within three days..Generally,craftmen in Nigeria are not reliable..It is important you find a way to get sculptor to the carving..Please,I beg you in the name of God..Right now,Iam in kaduna state..My present location in kaduna is 3hrs away from kano state.Iam trying to gather some info.I look forward to your response.

My response

Quote:

Dear Ed,
I'm spending hours of my time working with the police and FBI.
What you need to do is simple. You need to get a piece of wood and a knife and start carving.
As for the address, here's some information that comes in handy: Fake address. Don't use your own to send the package. One word, said often by Saint Homer comes to mind: "Doh"
I can't be bothered by telling you things over and over. I said I can't help you with the carving. This is the last I am going to discuss that matter. Now, let me get back to what I'm doing to help Amy. I can't do it all, and I cannot have you telling me what to do.
Remain Blessed,
Father John Black

Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 11:32 pm

Is it time now to bring G3orge P3trosky back from the grave to scare the hell out of Ed. Tou would be amazed where the Lithuanian mafia has their tentacles.

Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 11:56 pm

^^^You pulling a Bourne Identity on him. Shot and left for dead type thing.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 11 Jan 2007 Posts: 25

That would be the only way I can think of having that work. Shot, left for dead, been recovering in some backwater Doc in a Box hospital in BFE. Now he's back with short term memory loss and wants to know WTF 3d has done to 4my. Laughing

-J-

Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2007 10:39 am

Sent this to Ed this morning....giving him a little bit of hope...

Quote:

Dear Ed,
I need Fahdid's last name. We've found some Muslim Imams in Kano who agree to let us have access to their membership lists. So, we are one step closer to finding Amy. Also, has she mentioned names of any of his other family members? This will help us pinpoint the correct family.
Remain Blessed,
Father John Black

Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2007 12:01 pm

Eliza_Doolittle wrote:

check Ed's IP - it's changed.

But I can't believe where it's changed TO - so I need you to do an IP check.

If it still appears to be South America, it's actually VSC, a satellite provider. Mr mugu noticed the change a while ago. Ed's moved to a different cafe, or the cafe management have signed up with a new ISP.

Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2007 12:35 pm

Ok because I got New Jersey - and THEN I got Sacramento, CA.

LOL I was like - now I KNOW that Ed has NOT moved there. LOL

Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2007 12:56 pm

Yes, it isn't the exact same IP, but it's still in the same block. So he's basically still sitting in the same cybercafe in Port Harcourt.
I'm wondering if Fahdid would use his dark powers to bring George back from the dead? I'm not sure even Ed would buy that one, but Ed has suprised me before.

So where should the wedding party be? I was originally thinking Long Island, Bahamas (mainly because of the obvious confusion modality and it's hard to get to), but somehow I'm thinking that Timbuktu has Ed's name written all over it.

Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2007 2:18 pm

Well, I had another idea, too...a CHEAP place to send Ed.

MEXICO!!!!

You know how the police there are! They throw you UNDER the jail - and you never see daylight again. You simply disappear.

If we could get Ed to Mexico - and promise him entry to the US through Mexico (maybe send him info online that talks about how people get to the US illegally through Mexico every day) We could have Ed in some deeeeep shit.

Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2007 3:45 pm

HomerJFong wrote:

Is it time now to bring G3orge P3trosky back from the grave to scare the hell out of Ed. Tou would be amazed where the Lithuanian mafia has their tentacles.

I hope so. G3orge was my favorite Very Happy

.

Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2007 8:18 pm

Okay, don't send him to Mexico right away. FIRST send him to Belize. Many African immigrants go to the US via Belize, and then Mexico.

First, Belize is not cheap. He will waste a tonne of money just eating in Belize City. Second, from Belize City, he will have to apply for a Visa to get into mexico. Then, his Visa is not going to be for the northern part of Mexico (N of Mex City). He may be able to say he wants to go as far as Mex City, and, perhaps, even get a visa. Ifg he gets caught by Mex authorities north of Mexico City, he will be grabbed by their immigration. And they don't throw you in jail forever, just until you can pay your way out.

Send him papers on the Sears Tower, Golden Gate Bridge and a copy of some Islamic literature. Tell him he is to present this to someone in Texas.

His problems will be multiple:
1 Belize is similar to Bahamas. He will stick out like a sore thumb. Belize authorities are wary of Nigerians. Belize is also NOT cheap.
2 Mexico is always cracking down on Central American Immigrants passing through. African and Asian immigrants also use Mexico as a way to get to the US. Mexican authorities are also wary of Nigerians.
3 His ebtry into the US is most assuredly going to not be "risky free". He will most likely get grabbed, somewhere. If he had Islamic literature and a map of Chicago with locations of banks, Sears Tower, etc, on it, Homeland Security will get involved. US authorities are wary of Nigerians, especially if they have with Islamic lterature and maps of sensitive places in Chicago. With luck, maybe his safari can include a few years sunbathing in Guantanamo.

As ususal, keep us all informed!

Doc

Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2007 8:54 pm

Okay you all know I am NOT a lad hugger and NOT usually an ethics debate person. But regarding the above idea... as funny as it is... I would be slightly afraid that a stunt like that would (a) get the baiters in trouble with homeland security and/or (b) cause them to waste time and let a real terrorist slip through. NOT saying it should be ruled out but just that maybe it needs to be considered from all angles. Embarassed

Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2007 9:55 pm

The chances of Ed making it from Belize City to the US border are as slim as getting an ice cream cone from Belize City to the border. He's gonna get whapped along the way. I doubt he can make it out of Belize, even if he can make it into Belize, which is not guaranteed.

He won't make it that far.

I just included Belize because it adds another degree of (expensive) problems for him to work his way through.

lad hugger! Laughing

Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 12:46 pm

Guys, I've already primed him for his trip to the Bahamas, and he's agreed to go.

Eliza, take a pith hat. You got him on a mini-safari! North-east of Abuja, and a respectable distance from Port Harcourt. Looks a few hundred miles to me.

IP was 81.199.43.163 (Lagos).

Quote:

Dear Mr. ************

Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 1:22 pm

LOL

That's just awesome. He's looking for her now.

You should tell him he needs to start going to Mosques and asking about families who worship there - is anyone named Fahdid - and tell him to try to remember the name on Amy's passport - and what was Fahdid's son's name (I think Ed forgot - it's Ahab) So that if he knows the family members' names - it's easier to find out where they worship....

Email from Ed:

Quote:

Dear Father John Black,
I don't think I would be able to get the carving ready before the deadline which is tommorrow.Good gracious,doe it mean that you are presently in kano..According to Amy,his name full Fahdid Sahedeen.But I must warn it may not his real name..Remember we are dealing with a kind of mobster..They disguise with different identity.Ask the moslem cleric,if has any idea of a fellow moslem,who will be wedding a white girl with a moslem identity.Remember,Amy is presently bearing a moslem name her name is Fatima.That is the name on the new saudi arabia passport they made for her.I cannot recollect the last name of the passport right now,as soon as I do I will get back to you.Iam presently in kaduna near kano..I will be going back to my base today.I can't tell you much right now,because Iam in public cybercafe.I look forward to your response.
Thanks and God bless.
Edward smith.

Now the next thing is..let's see if he'll travel a wee bit farther...

Quote:

Dear Ed,
This email is urgent. We think we've got some information that may lead us to Amy. If our sources are correct, we must act very fast, as the family will be leaving out of Nigeria in a few days time.
More details later. The FBI agents are talking with me.
Yes, I am in Kano right now. The internet service here is horrible.
Remain Blessed,
Father John Black

This sets up to put him on another safari.

Now - - before this goes further, I have to say this:

I cannot be involved in a bait that will pin a guy to be a Muslim terrorist, so I personally cannot give Ed any Islamic literature and pictures of buildings. If other people do that to their lads - then it's their business - and I won't judge - but for myself - I feel very uncomfortable. I could tease a lad and make them think they've converted to Islam - but I just don't feel right making a lad out to be a possible terrorist. I can't have the potential to have Homeland Security wasting time because of a tip from another country that a Nigerian had this info. I need Homeland Security looking for real terrorists to keep the city where I live safe (as it's a bull's eye on the target for terrorists).

Don't get me wrong - I'm NOT hugging Ed - not at all - this is just where my personal line has to be drawn. And this is NOT an attack on anyone for their ideas. Ideas are always welcome - so keep them coming.

I'm just stating my personal boundary. I have lots and lots of Muslim friends and there is becoming this stereotype that all Muslims are terrorists - so each time something new happens - my friends - who are such good people - - ITP (innocent third parties for the newbies) - suffer.

Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 2:15 pm

^^

Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 2:29 pm

Eliza. Sorry for my enthusiasm about getting Ed sent to Guantanamo. You are right. I wouldn't want to waste anyones time dealing with Ed when their job is looking for real terrorists, and the severity if Eds sins are not worth sending him to Guantanamo. NYC is a target, I know. Your reasoning is sound.

My inspiration came from the idea of the Naval Base papers mentioned in oassing while he was wandering about in Singapore.

And, another part of me actually likes Ed. (that part is the lad hugger in me) He has such amusing qualities. It would be a shame for him to end up entombed in Guantanamo for an indefinite period of time, depriving us of entertainment, and him of more wonderful and fruitless adventures.

So, when's he going to the Bahamas?

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