First slap -> Groveling lad(ette)

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Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2007 3:24 pm

My first real bait is entering its third month. The mugu ("Rose", but on phone calls to SomethingFishy, clearly a lad) believes her payment is held up because I've been forced to abandon my successful brothel in Massachusetts to escape an obsessive client who happens to be Chief of the Boston Police. I'm hiding in Baltimore with drug dealers and can't make payment because of gang warfare and a police crackdown. Obsessive Boston chief now has many friends hunting for me. My only remaining friend Avon B@rksdale (SomethingFishy) got mugged and beaten trying to get to an MG office with Rose's cash. At great risk, Avon sent the cash but is now back in hospital. What does Rose have to say about our plight?

Quote:

From: "Ms R0se D@v1ns" <m******@yahoo.dk>
Subject: THIS IS HORRIBLE!!

Still not have recieved the MTCN NUMBER.
Could you plz reach-out to the guy and retrieve the number from him and sent it across immediately.

This is horrible !

Time for my first slap!

Quote:

Horrible? What is the matter with you sister? You have a lot of nerve saying it's horrible that you don't have your money. I'm being hunted like a rabbit, my only protection now are drugs dealers and gangsters, my friend was robbed and attacked because he was carrying money to send to YOU, and you think your situation is "horrible"? I never imagined that you could be so selfish and thoughtless. I am wondering now if I should take my money and use it for a flight to California. Then I would be rid of these stupid cops, these criminals, and of your nagging.

I want you to call Mr. Avon RIGHT NOW and apologize to him for your thoughtlessness. Then he might still give you the transfer number.

I had my doubts, but I guess I've set up a good relationship. Behold the groveling:

Quote:

From: "Ms R0se D@v1ns" <m******@yahoo.dk>
Subject: PLEASE I AM VERY SORRY IF I HAVE TOUCHED YOUR SENSITIVE PART.

Dear L***.

Sorry! that is not what I meant, I was just visualizing what could hold Mr. Avon not to take my calls even when I called him on several occassion.
However, I sincerely appologise to you if my utterance has injured your heart and put you in a bad state. Please it is not what I mean by using the word horrible. It is just the situation that I was trying to qualify with the adjective horrible! and not the scenerio that you are facing at the moment.

At any rate, I am not a sadist and we have come a long way, we are now like a soul-mate and I firmly believed that our relationship will stand the test of time.

Please dont take it too far, Like I said in my previous mail, if you can retrieve the MTCN NUMBER from Mr Avon and send same to me that will save me some of the hazzles I have gone through trying to get that from him.

I repeat Sister B****, I am sorry for the calamity that befailed your friend in the course of trying to get the money to me.

Again, I am like a novice about the true position of things right now with you. But I will like to assure you that God almighty is right there for and he will cover you with the precious blood of Jesus as no weapon fashioned against you by your detractor will prosper.

Go and mark it the criminals and the stupid cops will never get on you as they are chicken chasers chasing you in vain.

It is my fervent hope that my appology will be treated with dispatch which you are noted for.

Thank you for all your effort and commitment to this noble cause.
Yours Sincerely and respectfully,

Sister Rose.

She touched my sensitive parts? Eeew! And all the while reminding me to get the MTCN. To be honest, I've completely forgotten what the "noble cause" is, but it doesn't seem to matter at this point.

Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2007 4:44 pm

Quote:

Go and mark it the criminals and the stupid cops will never get on you as they are chicken chasers chasing you in vain.

That's sig material if ever I saw it.
Very good english for a lad!

Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2007 4:57 pm

Forget California. USA is too risky, you gotta go stay with sistah rose. Don't forget to pack the MTCN with your travel gear. Very Happy

Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2007 5:59 pm

Quote:

PLEASE I AM VERY SORRY IF I HAVE TOUCHED YOUR SENSITIVE PART.

I think this is even better sig material. Laughing

It would be great if your response was entitled, "RE: DON'T EVER TOUCH MY SENSITIVE PART AGAIN!!!!111!!1!!!"

Ewww!

Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2007 6:07 pm

@Ivor: Thanks for the tip, sig done. The vastly improved English leads me to believe this is another levelman; I wonder if the original Rose got a beating?

@Ginch: You read my mind. I'm trying to lead Sister Rose in that direction. I'm sure she'd love to put up a fugitive Ukrainian-born dominatrix, particularly if she's fabulously wealthy.

Posted: Fri Aug 24, 2007 6:11 am

Quote:

PLEASE I AM VERY SORRY IF I HAVE TOUCHED YOUR SENSITIVE PART

I am dying laughing here........that really is classic! Razz

Posted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 8:41 pm

Hehehe. The OP is my mentee. So I wish him the best of luck in his devious plans. Twisted Evil

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