Grandpa's sayings.

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Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 6:38 pm

Unfortunately my grandfathers died before I was born.
But luckily my Dad provides usually provides me with good (and sometimes funy) stuff. (have to write them in german, but will translate them of course).

My favorite one:
"Franz�sisch Mann so sehr genie�t,
weil f�nf Minuten still es ist"

(A man enjoys oral sex because of the silence for 5 minutes).

My dad is a lawyer and his statement about law making is:
"Wer Regeln in Gesetze bannt,
sollt n�tzen �fter den Verstand"

(A person who makes laws out of rules should use his common sense more often)

Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 7:21 pm

My grandpas never gave me particular pearls of wisdom, but here's some adaptions of classics I like:

"People who live in glass houses have to answer the door"
"If you live in a glass house, don't be chuckin' stuff about an' that"
- Karl Pilkington

"Never put both legs in one basket"
"An early bird is prone to catch worms, so always stay in bed 'till last"
"Out of sight is often behind"
- Chris Dale

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Dec 2005 Posts: 3551

From my dear Opa, "Live and learn, or die stupid." And "Work just a little longer than the guy next to you, and you'll succeed."

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 2628

Not a realtive but an elderly neighbour said to me
Play with the children when they're young, there will be time to dust mantlepiece when they're grown up

My dad swears granny used to say, when harrassed about what was for tea,
"Ach sh@te and sugar"

"Away tae Freuchie " was used when she disagreed with someone
( Freuchie is a small village in Scotland, I imagined it filled with grumpy people )

"Ah've no died a winter yet"

After some crisis had passed
" ach, another good worry wasted"

Posted: Mon Aug 20, 2007 2:06 am

If you were to ask my Paw Paw where someone was and he didn't have a clue, he would say, "They went to S_ _ T and the hogs ate em." LOL_sign

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

From my dad (RIP):
"Money can't buy class"
"No matter what your friends are all doing, remember who YOU are"
"If you're going to take the time to do something, do it right"

Posted: Mon Aug 20, 2007 5:15 am

thud419 wrote:

Never argue with a fool; the fool wont learn anything and nobody will be able to tell the difference.

A version I've heard:

Never argue with a fool. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

A gem from my Dad (RIP) -- usually when referring to my sister:

If the clown wasn't mine, I would be laughing too.

Posted: Tue Aug 21, 2007 12:45 pm

Another one (Bless him...)

"You don't have to look at the mantlepiece while you're poking the fire."

I could tell you his favourite joke about the dogs with brown boots on, but I'll save it for another time.

I miss my Grandpa Sad

Posted: Tue Aug 21, 2007 4:30 pm

I'm the same age as my grandpa was when he said

"Virginity is like a bubble on the river of life that bursts with the first prick"

I was in my teens and have never forgotten it.

Posted: Tue Aug 21, 2007 9:12 pm

Artemis wrote:

"Virginity is like a bubble on the river of life that bursts with the first prick"

"Virginity is like a balloon, one prick and it's gone"

Posted: Sun Aug 26, 2007 3:00 am

I say this quite often, but it came from Paw Paw.

Quote:

I have no idea, I just work here.

Wasn't suppose to tell that. Laughing

Posted: Sun Aug 26, 2007 9:46 pm

My grandfather describing my uncle:

"He knows the price of everything and the value of nothing"

Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 12:20 am

Not from my grandad, but a saying we have round my way that seems appropriate:

You can't educate pork.

Laughing

Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 1:50 am

I don't care were we went, weather it be the "Empire State Building", "Niagra Falls" or a camping trip, My Paw Paw would say after we finished the whole story..............................................................

Quote:

"Did they say anything about me?"

Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 3:04 am

breadcrumb wrote:

Unfortunately my grandfathers died before I was born.

Same here, BC. And my Pop used to say:

Quote:

The man who knows how works for the man who knows why.

I guess to be PC these days, you'd have to substitute "person" for "man". Sad

Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 8:38 pm

Frogsruleok wrote:

You can't educate pork.

"You cant make a silk purse out of a sow's ear"

Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2007 11:44 am

I'll put this here.

When my Paw Paw retired, I was pre-teen and he was our taxi. Believe you me, you did not want to be the first friend picked up because I would put her in the middle of Paw Paw and myself. As soon as we were down in the middle of town, I would duck and she would be sitting beside Paw Paw.

I would be in the floorboard cracking up and she would be so mad. He never knew what we where laughing about. He would ask, "What is so funny?" Of course, it would not happen to them but once and then they would get in the back seat. They did not tell so that it could happen to the next. After they all knew, it was over. Sad

They are still my friends. Wink

Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 12:45 am

Paraphrasing Grand-dad (RIP):

"When you're about to spend money, look like you don't have any."

"Your money is the same colour as everyone elses" (said to me when I was upset about taking on a dishwashing job in my youth to make ends meet)

"Class and style are two things you can't fake, hide, buy, drive or wear on your back."

I miss the old gent Wink

Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 1:13 am

My Grandpa:

Liquor before beer - never fear.
Beer before liquor - get sick quicker.

It's been very helpful to know that! LOL

My dad:
You know why God gave you 2 ears and only one mouth? You should listen more than you speak.

Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 1:55 am

"A kiss is like a spiders web. It often leads to the undoing of flies."

Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 2:44 am

I have three brothers. Many years ago my mom once said,
"What I need are orphans!"
I took me a while to figure that out.