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Gold Hat
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 18 Jul 2004
Posts: 2049
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Posted:
Mon Aug 13, 2007 1:39 pm |
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Would you eat a hamburger prepared by this young man?
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McDonalds application
This is an actual job application a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida � and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I were in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?
Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS? Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?
I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?
I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?
On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?
Yes � Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
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Inspector Gadget
Angel of unrealistic meetings
Joined: 20 Feb 2007
Posts: 6259
Location: Trumpton
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Posted:
Mon Aug 13, 2007 1:43 pm |
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well, at least he's honest |
_________________ x2 Co bait with Rumbero Sao Tome island to Gabon van donation
Co bait with Jayhawk and VJD. Stanley's bottle tour Aba to Lagos
Team Hector, airport in installments and St Louis to Kayes
Halil, Cotonou to Accra
+ Precious 10/08/11
x8 x34 x 73
grown up man like him, still doing all this shit games - Stanley, (he doesn't like Parcel Direct)
You again do the strange reflections stuffed with drugs? - Natalia
x3 Hector 24/1/13 Moses 15th Oct 2011
x 2Mick Ole 11th Sept 2014-16 Asare Akuffo start 4th Aug 2014 |
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Thatguy
Not quite a Newb
Joined: 01 Aug 2007
Posts: 51
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Posted:
Mon Aug 13, 2007 1:56 pm |
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hehe.. sensational..
now can anyone work it into a bait? |
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Nex
Not quite a Newb
Joined: 01 Aug 2007
Posts: 22
Location: Behind the keyboard
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Posted:
Mon Aug 13, 2007 3:39 pm |
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Wow! I'd hire this guy right away - such honesty must be rewarded |
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Ivor Grimey Colon
"Trophy slut"
Joined: 16 Jun 2005
Posts: 1338
Location: England
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Posted:
Mon Aug 13, 2007 3:45 pm |
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4X1X9
Baiting Guru
Joined: 17 Sep 2006
Posts: 5905
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Posted:
Mon Aug 13, 2007 5:14 pm |
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Nice to see wit is still alive amongst young people
I loved
Quote: |
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here? |
That is so true when you are forced by desperation into these kind of jobs, luckily for me I think those days are finally behind me.
EDIT urban legend, shouldn't have fallen for it, was too good to be true http://urbanlegends.about.com/od/humor/a/job_application.htm |
_________________ I can sense tunes of unnecessary logic in your mails, meaning that you can never work with us to actualize this project no matter how we try to convince you - Mr. Chidi 0kpala
You will have to munch the statistics of the transfer so I can give to them - Mr. James Hessom Hessom
If not that you only hide behind computer and be playing prawns with us - Benny Clifford
France - Luxembourg
x26 - 2012 x258 - 2013
x263 - 2014 x160 - 2015
x204 & x1 - 2016
x177 - 2017 x81 - 2018
x85 - 2019 x9 -2020
(Grand Total 1,262) |
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Gold Hat
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 18 Jul 2004
Posts: 2049
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Posted:
Tue Aug 14, 2007 1:29 pm |
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4X1X9 wrote: |
EDIT urban legend, shouldn't have fallen for it, was too good to be true |
You're right - shoulda known it was a put up. But still, it is funny would you not agree? |
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Klaasvaak
Baiting Guru
Joined: 11 May 2004
Posts: 2163
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Posted:
Tue Aug 14, 2007 2:07 pm |
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sagat
Master Baiter
Joined: 18 Dec 2004
Posts: 106
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Posted:
Tue Aug 14, 2007 3:17 pm |
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Quote: |
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I were in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. |
Nice one; this is what i always wanted to say but was too scared to say. Been frank and honest does nto always get you the job though.. |
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Gold Hat
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 18 Jul 2004
Posts: 2049
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Posted:
Tue Aug 14, 2007 4:16 pm |
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Actually I enjoyed the song - good voice.
1971 - hmmmmm ....... with the hokey blond hair, costume and setting it reminded me of another crooner of that time.
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kleindoofy
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 24 Oct 2004
Posts: 6248
Location: Europe
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Posted:
Tue Aug 14, 2007 7:15 pm |
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Gold Hat wrote: |
Would you eat a hamburger prepared by this young man? ... |
Sure, but I wasn't aware that Reprob8 was looking for a new job. |
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FireWyrm
Master Baiter
Joined: 09 Jun 2007
Posts: 213
Location: Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris
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Posted:
Tue Aug 14, 2007 9:23 pm |
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A golden oldie but funny anyway. Kudos for having the guts to use these answers. Obviously each new generation thinks its the first time.... |
_________________ Diagonally parked in a parallel universe
"SCHOOLS FOR THE DEAF/DUMPS" - Frank
"I will not live long since my ailment has defiled all forms of medical treatment" - Victoria
PLEASE IGNORE ANY FURTHER MESSAGE FROM CHARLES OR WHATEVER FOR GOODNESS SAKE.!!! - FRANK AGAIN
so how do you want me to beat trust in you now??? (I think I've annoyed him - Frank again)
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Craig007
Baiting Guru
Joined: 19 Apr 2007
Posts: 3123
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Posted:
Wed Aug 15, 2007 2:37 am |
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Wow, I'm quite surprised they hired him.
An entertaining read! |
_________________ CAN VISA BE GIVING IN THE PLANE? YOUR QUEEN ELIZABETH CAN NOT TAKE VISA IN THE PLANE,TALKLESS OF YOU - WILLIAM PAUL
x7
Wulugu or Bust Safari- Lagos, Nigeria to Paga, Ghana and Tokwari, Ghana X2-3800mi. "I'm leaving this bullshit area"
- Accra to Cotonou - 430 miles
100% RISK FREE TRANSACTION
CHERRIE MENTOR PROGRAM |
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Obi-Wan Knievel
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 10 Dec 2006
Posts: 1486
Location: Bald Knob, NF
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Posted:
Wed Aug 15, 2007 6:57 am |
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Gold Hat, you made my night! I have tears rolling down my face from laughing at this one. Thanks for a beautiful and much-needed post.
See http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/mcdonald.asp for how it came to be. Then, if you still want to, go ahead and kick me in the lads for spoiling this thread. I deserve it.
That said, I'd still hire that guy in a minute. And if anybody starts spinning into a "don't believe everything you see on the web" or a "you should have known better" rant after this, I'll put a curse on you! It was posted for laughs, and laughs is what it provided.
Make me an offer and we can haggle.... damn that's still funny 5 minutes later! |
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Klaasvaak
Baiting Guru
Joined: 11 May 2004
Posts: 2163
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Posted:
Wed Aug 15, 2007 8:55 am |
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Gold Hat these are the lyrics for that golden oldie. It will also teach you how to sing and you'll learn dutch at the same time.
Ik was met haar alleen
We keken naar elkaar
We spraken van de liefde
Het was toch zo mooi
Het leek een droom die nacht
Dat had ik niet verwacht
Ze keek me aan en zei
"Wanneer is dit voorbij?"
Geluk was toen dichtbij
Ik weet nog wat ze zei "
Ik vertrouw op jou, breng mij nu gauw naar huis"
refrein:
Manuela, Manuela Manuela, Manuela Manuela
We reden door de nacht
De radio heel zacht
Het kon niet mooier zijn
't Leek een eeuwig refrein
Ik raakte zo verward
En reed opeens te hard
Ze lachte nog naar mij
Maar toen was het voorbij
Een auto kwam eraan
Het is zo snel gegaan
Wat heb ik door mijn schuld haar aangedaan
refrein
Ze lag daar zwaargewond
Een glimlach om haar mond
Alsof ze zeggen wou
"Het lag niet aan jou"
Het was een ongeluk
Toch is mijn leven stuk
Ik bid tot God dat hij
Haar teruggeeft aan mij
De dokters vechten door
Ze weten niet waarvoor
Wat heb ik door mijn schuld haar aangedaan
refrein (2x)
If you order the basic starterpackage now i'll post other song lyrics for free! |
_________________
www.microsoft.com
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Gold Hat
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 18 Jul 2004
Posts: 2049
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Posted:
Wed Aug 15, 2007 1:37 pm |
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Klaasvaak wrote: |
Gold Hat these are the lyrics for that golden oldie. It will also teach you how to sing and you'll learn dutch at the same time.
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Used a Dutch online translator for the first three stanzas and got this -
Quote: |
I was with its only
we looked at to each other
we spoke of love
it was nevertheless this way beautiful
It seemed to a dream that night
that I had not expected
them looked at me and said
when is this beyond?
Luck was then near
I weet still what them said
I trusts you, brings me now rapidly to house
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Seems like the translator was on something.
Which brings up that topic again Klass old buddy - you gotta stop smoking those tulips man - you have gone way too far down the rabbit hole - just take off the wooden shoes - turn off the windmill - and have a wee lay down - you will feel much better in the morning. |
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Klaasvaak
Baiting Guru
Joined: 11 May 2004
Posts: 2163
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Posted:
Wed Aug 15, 2007 3:40 pm |
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nono its not the tulips. I just discovered Erdinger and Krombacher weissenbier. I think those are the only 2 good things that ever came from Germany
But you should really learn that song. If you ever visit Holland and can't sing that song you'll be deported back to Canada. |
_________________
www.microsoft.com
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Gold Hat
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 18 Jul 2004
Posts: 2049
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Posted:
Wed Aug 15, 2007 7:22 pm |
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The first band looks like they just got back from a hunting trip where they killed numerous furry animals. Is the second group retro-ABBA
I will learn the words if you promise to sing a duet with me |
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