Potter Derrek, now stranded in Ghana

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Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Who was it a while back that did the "Chin Twig" bait. Roy, you might try something along that line. Perhaps some pics for a new line of trouser stuffers. "First impressions mean everything, so make yours a lasting one with the Trouser Stuffer! Available in Banana, Cucumber and Corn on the Cob."

Be sure and get a before and after pic.

Posted: Sun Jul 29, 2007 4:30 am

Advertising campaign ideas:

Viagra
Hair Replacement Therapy
African Says No to Domestic Abuse
Nasal Penile Treatment
Drugs Aren't Cool
Prostate Check Ups
AIDS/HIV - Don't be a fool, wrap your tool
Genital Herpes - As above

Posted: Sun Jul 29, 2007 9:42 am

I think the AIDs one sounds good, though the sight of Dan in just a condom may be offputting. David has hinted that Charity ads do not pay....

The domestic abuse ad could have his Mum beating him with a frying pan.

I still wonder what 'weavons' are. Does he want to advertise weapons? Dan in the street with a firearm could cause a stir in his town. Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 12:31 am

The thing I like about domestic abuse ads is where do they find the poor suckers who act as though they beat up their wives?

Imagine being an actor and everyone reckonising you on the street as the bloke who said "oh, it's not like i killed her, the bitch deserved it" then the voice over comes on "no, she didn't".

so you have a photo of the guy on a poster exposing him as a wife beater... then everyone sees him and thinks of him as a wife beater... he might claim that he just an actor to his friends... but alas, they're unlikely to believe him Laughing

yeah, if i can come up with any more i'll let you know.

Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 1:25 pm

Quote:

David Beckham to dan

You are fussy aren't you Dan?

You wont go on a bicycle, you won't play with fire. You should see
some of the stuff I've had to do, don't be such a big girl's blouse.

I'll let you any if there are any professional jobs that I get offered
but can't do.

In the meantime, you can raise your profile with the agencies in L.A.
by doing some charity modeling. There is an aids awareness one you may
not be too happy about, they want someone ONLY wearing a condom!!
Victoria won't let me do that one, I don't know how you feel about
that.

Another one is a domestic violence campaign, do you know any big
ladies, maybe your mum, who would have their picture taken hitting you
with a frying pan or similar heavy object? Wives battering their
husbands are a big problem out here, I was happy to do the advert, but
Victoria deosn't want to be seen as a husband batterer.

If you can get these pictures, they will, along with my say so, go a
long way to making you famous out here.

My ankle is still bad, I may not be playing again tonight.

No way they'll let me visit Nigeria, if I ever do, can I stay at your house?

Your friend,

David

*****************************

Dan has asked Roy to get him into the movies, but not porn, that didn't go so well last time.

Quote:

Dear Dan,

Very busy with the far east tour, we MAY include Nigeria in the
African tour for 2008, but you should be in the UK by then. Sir Alex
says you have no chance without him at least seeing a video of you
playing though, or a trail like the one I arranged for you, but at
least he knows your name.

We are all very tired after this tour. I hope you got your car in the end.

I asked the TWAT circus to get in touch, did you here from them?

I cant get you into movies without publicity photos. video of you
acting would be even better. see what you can do (without whining
about money, you know how much that annoys me)

Roy

My agent for the TWAT circus has had some ramblings from Dan. Do you want circus chefs, YW?

Quote:

Hello Dear,
You mean anything i can do bettereven if its cooking?
I can only take just one photo,you know if i video i'll send it and i dont have money,but that would have been more better.

Ok please why did'nt you mail me or you re angry with me the only thing i know how to is to play football and i dont have camera i can only send you two of my picture when i was demostrating will this be convinient with you please?
Thanks and God bless i need your attention so i can proceed in taking the picture

Quote:

Dear Mr Walter,

Cooking would be possibly entertaining if there was a lot of fire and smoke, otherwise it's a bit dull for a circus, the same with football, although we will consider anything that you can send us.

Bxxxx Gxxxx

Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 3:21 pm

More Dan madness, to David again:

Quote:

Ok David,
Ok i can do the other one about hitting the fry pan is it on the head or body and i need further details about it i like making advert too much because it makes some one popular so how is victoria hope she is fine and how about the children hope they are doing fine and i will be going to the church to pray for you so your ankle will get fine and please extend my greetings to Fxxx she did'nt mail me i dont know why.
Tell her to mail me and extend my greetings to your family too.
i need more advert

Quote:

Dear Dan,

Fxxxx was very upset that you didn't call her when you said that you
would, you are going to have to make it up with her yourself, I'm not
a marriage counselor.

The wife and kids are fine, thanks for asking, and for praying for my
ankle, although I think the team manager has already tried that.

Dan, get the lady to hit you on the head and body, then the campaign
manager can decide which they like best, that's what I'd do. I hope to
see the pictures soon, we'll get you on a billboard in Hollywood
again.

Must go,

David

Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 3:30 pm

I find it interesting that the lad can't send his father any pics or video because he doesn't have any money, but he can gets some pics of his mum beating him about the head with a pan to sent to B3ckh4m.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

I find it interesting that he emails everyone except F. When did these emails come in? I have not seen him online today.

Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 5:36 pm

/\/\/\ I think he's scared of you, or maybe of rejection. Razz

I got this flurry about 3 hours ago.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

ok, F gave him a little nudge. She sent his chain email back to him.

and then sent this

Quote:

Of course my number is a UK number. I do a lot of my work in London. I have not had any voice messages from you. I think we really need to make a time to chat or talk on the telephone. Your time is 8 hours ahead of me, I think. So it's a little difficult.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

I just missed him this morning.

Quote:

Please Dear,
Dont be angry with me please i called your cell line but it with entering voice mail please i'm sorry if you angry with i want you to just be happy not for me,but because Jesus love you.
I love you i'm missing you too much just be happy because life is all about fun.
From your dearest love,lots of hugs and kisses,be happy because life is beautiful my loving you is puzzle.
Cheer up please not because of anything but because i love you and because life is beautiful

Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 4:06 pm

I'm jealous that he uses some punctuation for you. Meanwhile, he still thinks there is a place for him in the Manchester United side:

Quote:

Ok Dad,
What if i send him too pictures of me playing football won't that be good but if i go to Abuja for the Trial,you mean that i'll sign i contract and we conclude everything there or how would it goes.and please Dad i'll really like to turnup and Dad i would still like to be making advertisement for different kinds of company did David show you the one i made for the Blagging Scum if no tell him to send you the adevert was very impressed.Dad the problem now is that i want to play football start my career.Did you heart what happens to Thiery Henry it was i pity and i dont even know how to get to him so i comfort him and help him,i can help him if i get intouch with him is a pity.
Please Dad extend my greetings to my friend Wayne & Cristian.
From your dearest son,
Dan

Quote:

Hi Dan,

You can send pictures, but I think its a bit harder than that, how is
Sir Alex supposed to tell how good you are from a photo. I told you,
you blew your best chance when you didn't go to Abuja for the trial I
organized. Ken Barlow, the scout, flew from London for that trial, and
you didnt even show up.

As far as the adverts go, David tells me you are doing one to
encourage domestic violence Shocked

- we'll see how that one goes first.

Roy

David got a quick email to say that he was having trouble phoning fxxx, and that he will try and get the advert photo done.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Well, I think the lad is pulling out all of the stops to raise money. I hadn't heard from him since January, and out of the blue I get this one:

Quote:

Hello Mrs xxxxx,
How are you today hope you are doing fine have Mr Ch4rles s4lud0 gave you the money?
So i have still be waiting for you or you dont want to collect your wining,i you taught i was scamming you but i'm not i'm re an agent of the BMW promo department so dont you want to collect your winning anymore

The bait is too long to explain, but he seems to be going back quite a ways to raise some cash. He's desperate.

Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 9:26 pm

Lol, I won one (of many) of his lottos last October. By then he must have realised that some people (though none of my characters) were a teeny bit suspicious....

Quote:

We hereby wish to inform you that your free Mercedes car attached with 1.700.000 POUNDS incash are pending your collection.

please note this is no scam no cheating is real for any body that will try to use this bmw logo as scam cut will be in jail for two years God bless we wait your fast response

So, hang on, have I won a BMW or a Mercedes?

You have been approved for a payment of 1.700.000 POUNDS (ONE MILLION SEVEN HUNDRED THOUSAND POUNDS.)AND A BRAN! D NEW 2007 HAUSKAA VAPPUA

LINKY

Looking through Anna Lynne's inbox, I came across this, dated January 2006:

Quote:

URGENT RESPONSE!!!!!!

potter derrek to me

Hello Anna,
i receive your mail we went to western union they said that they cannot give that kind of money so that was why the courier manager couldnt collect the money and that was why we told you to help us sending the money through wire transfer that will be more easier i once again congratulate you winner
Regards
Potter

He has always been persistent, stupid, and ever the optimst, this is the same Anna Lynne that Becks recently set him up with, before redshoes.

If I could remember what name he used before 'potter', the fact he was going to Western Union means I'd won his lottery (again) already. I think I'd used their special Secure Service.

Obviously, I've never pointed out to him that he seems to have his first and second names mixed up, and when Dan is being a lottery agent, I always use Potter as his first name. I never educate my lads if I can help it, with someone like Dan, thats quite a challenge.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Yeah, I won a bmw mercedes from him back in January as well. That's one where I kept having problems with WU, got a couple of bank accounts shut down, and, in desperation, sent him the money via the postal service. Normally I don't like to spend money on a lad, but for less than two bucks I got the pleasure of having an envelope split at the bottom that at one time (supposedly) contained $10,000 arrive at his house.

He was pretty bummed about that one. Then my Barrister and INTERPOL got involved.

He was fun for about a month. I can't believe that he's back again.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

I think you both must be educating the lads. He hasn't offered F his BMW mercedes.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

I think you both must be educating the lads. He hasn't offered F his BMW mercedes.

Posted: Thu Aug 02, 2007 10:28 am

Stereo! David was so annoyed when Dan betrayed his confidence by trying the Lotto scam, that he stopped writing for a while until Dan admitted it and apologized.

He isn't going to risk that with F, David would tell you who it was the moment you mentioned that you'd won a lottery all of a sudden.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I'm dying of laughter here. I just got the following:

Quote:

Hello Mrs Xxxxx,
Well i told you but you think i'm lying to you. Well i can only help you to get your wining just with a little amount for the shipment.
What i told Mr s0lud0 to give you is ten thousand dollars and send my ten thousand dollars and played tricks on me and collected my phones too but there is not much to be worried about is a little thing ok.
Well i'll help you pay $5,000USD and you send $4,000USD hope this will be convinient to you and get back to me as fast as possible so i give you the details to make the payment.
From D3rrek Pott3r

This one of the dumbest lads in the world. He honestly believes that both his dollar and cell phones were chopped by Charl3s S0lud0.

I wonder if he remembers that the good Barrister turned him into Interpol, and that there is an arrest warrent out on him? I honestly think that he is stranded somewhere with no cash, and is trying anything possible to get enough money to make it back home. Roy, I don't want to interfere with your bait, so the call is yours as to what you want me to do.

Posted: Sat Aug 04, 2007 1:12 am

I got an email from Dan today. WhoIs says he's still in Lagos, so I think I've stranded him there for a while, he's a long way from home.

Because he never edits the title, all his emails are called 'I'm Happy', which was 40 emails ago. Razz

Quote:

dan danino to me

Ok Dad,
how can it this really goes,but anytime i am ready i'll send you my passport or if i dont send you the passport i'll turnup to the trial in Abuja.
Dad please i want to send me one of Wayne and cristian and ypu'll join them in the picture so i can enlarge it and put it in our sitting room.
From your son,

Quote:

Roy Cropper to dan

Hi dan,

You get Paul Scholes too, thats me in black behind the lads.

The trail in abuja happened a long time ago. The only way Mr Barlow
will go back is if you go to Abuja first, and email us from their.
Only then would he fly over to see you.

Sir Alex was very cross with everyone when we lost to Inter Milan on
Wednesday, he shouted at us all.

Roy

Edit: I hope dan doesn't know who that is at the back, I should have drawn a silly mustache on him.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

Quote:

I got an email from Dan today. WhoIs says he's still in Lagos, so I think I've stranded him there for a while, he's a long way from home.

That's a big relief to F. She thought she was losing her touch. He's just not had time for love because he has bigger troubles on his mind.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I wonder if he's desperate enough to use ? He was too damn lazy before.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

I missed him again. Off line messages from Dan to F.

Quote:

my love i'm very sorry
that did'nt turnup i was very busy
please
miss you too

Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 3:58 pm

Numpty boy is thrilled with the picture I sent of 'me' and his heroes. He is now moving to Abuja (the other side of Nigeria) for his football trial. I'm not around for the next 2 weeks, so he'll have to sweat it out when he gets there.

Quote:

Ok dad i promise you this time i'll not let you down i'll try and keep up my promise is that ok by next week i'll be living to Abuja i promise you and please if he is still buying me any gift it should be a laptop dad please and you send me his number so i call him.
Thanks Dad.

Quote:

Dad the picture was fantastic i'll be waiting for him immediately i get there i'll mail you ok dad i love you

Quote:

Ok Dan, you do that, I'll pass the message on to Ken Barlow. In the meantime, I'm going to South America talent scouting, so I wont be
around for a week or two.

Glad you liked the photo.

Roy

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

More off line messages to F today.

Quote:

sweetheart i'm still missing you
sweetheart i know you sleeping now
but i'm really mising you dont know how to say it
ok please can you call me
but i dont have a phone now you call through my mother cell line
+234xxxxx please i'm desperate to hear you voice i'm missing you more than anything and you dont know how much i love is unexplanable

And a love email with 2 roses.

Quote:

Please dear,
It bothers me that we still miss each other i love you,but tomorow will you be online maybe by noon here i'll be waiting for you please ok have fun and always know that i have you in mkind morethan any other thing life is beautiful i keep on loving you still death do me apart have a colourful day from that person that car.
From your dearest love Dan lots of hugs and kisses

I think this is 4:00 AM for F, she will assume this is her noon.

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