Potter Derrek, now stranded in Ghana

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Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2007 9:22 am

Dan is always assured special attention from me.

Courtesy of GomerPyle, who shopped the pic for me, i have sent Redshoes17 another Blagging Scum poster (on a real Hollywood billboard) that Dan hasnt seen yet. as he never got paid for the original, this should wind him up. I suggested that Victoria could point it out to RS17 as a picture of Dan.

Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 8:02 am

^^^^^^^LOL @Roycropper nice job! clapping

Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 8:51 am

Cheers. @ Redshoes, have you sent him the picture? If not I can, as Victoria. Let me know, I want to hear his howls of anguish as the Bl4gging Scum corp rip him off again.

Meanwhile he is seriously considering travel to get laid by my randy nun. You can see how romance scam victims get drawn in, Dan is thinking with his dick now.

Quote:

Ok Anna,
So how would you want it to be now because i'm very busy now and at the moment i'm not in town. (Haha he's still in lagos in search of the lost aston)
coming to Ghana you know it will cost me money but i'm very broke for now and when would you like me to come to Ghana? but i feel maybe next three weeks will be convinient for me,but whats your opinion over that.
From your dearest love,

Quote:

Oh baby,

Come to Ghana as soon as you can, theres always a bed here ready for
you (though I will have to move over a bit to fit you in).

It wont cost you much if you come by public transport.

I may have to go to Cote d'Ivoire for 2 weeks on 8th August, (I go on holiday then) so if you
can, come before then, I dont think there will be an internet
connection there. If not, wait until I get back.

all my love,

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

His email to F came from Lagos this morning. I have to wait until a little later to reply due to the time difference. F will send it to him. For all others reading this he sent F the picture of him in the pajamas David admired.

Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 1:48 pm

David and F have exchanged emails, copy to dan, so he has the pic now. I'll let Redshoes tell you about that.

He does seem keen on fireating, he'll probably hit me for petrol money later though.

Quote:

Please send me a details or a picture on how it will look like so i can proceed.
From Dan

Quote:

Hi Dan,

I thought at first you meant a picture of my ankle! Its getting
better, but it's not pretty.
I attach a picture that the agency sent to me, also this link to the
Wikpedia entry:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fire_eating.

You will understand why the insurance company won't let me do it.

David

*********************************

Meanwhile, back in Lagos, Dan has now seen Housefly's news article, and isn't happy....

Quote:

Hello Dad,
Dad i could'nt collect the car the courier manager did not give me any details of me collecting the car,please Dad can you tell Wayne to send me the africa fan mobile number so i call him and collect my car.Roy please i want you to call the courier manager and ask him who he gave my car to i need to collect this car please Dad because they did'nt gave me any information to collect my car.
From your dearest son,
dan

Quote:

Hello Dan.

The African fan hasn't got your car, he just scanned an article in his
local newspaper and sent it to Wayne.If that isn't you in the picture,
it looks as if someone else has got your car and is driving it around
Lagos. Have you seen it? maybe you should report it stolen at the
Police station.

I dont have a number for the manager of the couriers, I thought that
you were in touch with them.

Nothing is ever straightforward with you, Dan, is it?

Roy

SP, you're in trouble now.....

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

F's email to David

Quote:

David,

Does Posh know how bad you are at match making? Just how do you know Dan? He won't come online so we can chat and get to know each other. He promised to send his picture days ago. This morning he sent some goofy looking picture of himself wearing pajamas. I couldn't even see his face properly.

F

David has forwarded this to Dan. Since I have to be away today, F will give him her mobile phone number, maybe he will call her. But he says he has to be at the cafe to call.

Dan's email.

Quote:

Hi,
Dearest here is my picture so please dear i need your to send me your mobile line so when i'm coming to the internet cafe i'll call you so we chat.
From your dearest love,
Dan
lots of hugs and kisses

If someone is a real fan of David's and keeps up with him I would appreciate a PM once in a while with just some general information about him. How is the ankle? How likely is it that he will play on Saturday? What was he doing in Denver yesterday? I don't need much.

Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 4:09 pm

/\/\ Google News says 'David Beckham did indeed appear in Commerce City, a flat expanse of warehouses and big-box stores on the outskirts of Denver that is also home to the Colorado Rapids of Major League Soccer. He attended Thursday�s game between the M.L.S. All-Stars and Celtic FC, champions of the Scottish Premier League.'

'Beckham, who is nursing a left ankle injury sustained while playing for England�s national team and aggravated in his last game for Real Madrid, sounded pessimistic about his fitness for Saturday�s game against Chelsea, the FA Cup champions.

�At the moment I�m still having a lot of treatment, at the moment it doesn�t look good that I�m going to play,� '

Here's Davids email to F, for dan's benefit really, it was cc'd to him:

Quote:

Dear F,

I'm sorry if Dan is a disappointment to you, he is a talented Nigerian
footballer who is going to play for Manchester United one day,
according to his agent, Mr Roy Cr0pper. Roy was my agent when I was in
the UK, so I trust his judgment. Be careful if you suddenly win a
lottery, though, anyone who knows Dan seems to , though he says he
doesn't know how this can be.

I like Dan's pyjamas, I tried to buy them, as you know I am always
keen on new fashions, but Dan wanted to sell me hundreds of dollars
worth, not just send me the one pair.

I hope to see you at the party after the Chelsea game on Saturday, it
is at Sh1ver's, 418-420 Santa Monica Boulevard, after 10pm. Victoria and I will save you a seat in the VIP lounge.

I attach a picture of a poster with Dan on it, he is quite famous in
Hollywood, after posing for the posters for Victoria's new fragrance.
sadly, my agent refused to pay him after he caused me to get scammed
by a fake lottery, though he doesn't know how that happened.

I will copy this email to Dan, its not fair to talk about him behind his back.

See you Saturday,

Love from David

******************************

A while back, Dan was offered a job in porno by Vict0r M3ldrew. It came to nothing, he wanted cash for photos. Rolling Eyes

I checked the box today, he's back - Victor has told him to send pics up front, or no deal.

Quote:

Send me yours, and I'll see what I can do.

Otherwise, leave me alone, I'm busy filming Wendy Wangers and the Chocolate Factory.

Regards

Victor
Cumal0t Productions

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

Quote:

Ok dear i'll try to call you anytime and i have not express my feeling really to you but not to worry ok i love you because you are a special gift from God to me and you are inique
your dan kisses

He has not tried to call yet.

Posted: Sat Jul 21, 2007 7:27 pm

Quote:

you are inique

Dan has wussed out of being a fire eater, and apologizes to F, he even spells 'annoyed' right for a change.

Quote:

Its too hard i can't do that one putting fire on my mouth oh you know i can't and please tell fxxxx i'm very sorry if i annoyed her from Dan your best cheer

*************************
Meanwhile, the Aston - It's all your fault apparently, SP.

Quote:

Dad,
Know its not that i'm not straight forward this is the fault of the courier i told him that when i got there i did'nt see that harbour master and since then he has not mail me
Dad i need to collect this car please

Quote:

Dear Dan,

There's nothing I can do Son, you're the one in Lagos. I think someone like the harbourmaster has stolen your car, sorry, you should have been quicker.

Roy

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

Roycropper wrote:

this is the fault of the courier - since then he has not mail me

Yeah

, well I thought I wouldn't bother emailing him again just to piss him off and leave him hanging on, I might drop him a line tomorrow saying we have had server problems and our email has been down.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

Roy, your lad really only comes on at the worst times for me, when I do not have much time. I was going to ignore him at first this morning, but since he's not been online in the past few days, that I know of, decided to have a bit of a chat.

Quote:

dan (3:55:28 AM): hi dear
dan (3:55:45 AM): are you there i tried your number is not going
dan (3:55:48 AM): why
dan (3:56:12 AM): entrying voice mail which i dont like
F (3:56:12 AM): i turn the phone off when I am sleeping
F (3:56:29 AM): i asked you to come later in the day
dan (3:56:33 AM): ok dear
dan (3:56:39 AM): i really miss you
dan (3:56:50 AM): i'm brook
F (3:56:59 AM): brook? (don't plan to go there)
dan (3:57:54 AM): yes
dan (3:58:07 AM): baby you re looking sexy?
dan (3:58:10 AM): in your picx
F (3:58:23 AM): thank you
F (3:59:08 AM): i've seen another picture of you as well
F (3:59:14 AM): in hollywood
dan (3:59:19 AM): from the day that i meet you girl,i know that your love will be everything i wanted in my life
dan (3:59:31 AM): how was it?
dan (3:59:38 AM): hope its kool
F (3:59:57 AM): very nice, it was an advertisement
F (4:00:07 AM): u didn't tell me that u r a model
dan (4:00:25 AM): so how is your day?
dan (4:00:45 AM): i thought is not inportant to you
dan (4:00:54 AM): so how is your day?
F (4:01:30 AM): u told me that u didn't have a job, yet yr picture is everywhere
F (4:01:51 AM): my day is not started yet. I just got home from last night's party
F (4:02:00 AM): i will go to bed soon
dan (4:02:08 AM): well is unexplanable
dan (4:02:36 AM): no dear spend more time with me a little
dan (4:02:54 AM): sweetheart my day is not fine at all
F (4:03:41 AM): how is it unexplanable?
dan (4:04:50 AM): because i did'nt know it will go so far as it is now
F (4:05:05 AM): what do u mean?
dan (4:05:43 AM): i did not know the advertisement will be such impressive
F (4:05:58 AM): well, it is very impressive
F (4:06:03 AM): i was impressed
dan (4:06:07 AM): sweetheart seen your picture here move me too much
dan (4:06:21 AM): it drive me crazy
F (4:06:41 AM): really?
dan (4:06:42 AM): you re too beautiful
F (4:06:57 AM): yr just saying that
dan (4:08:22 AM): well you are a gift from God to me
dan (4:08:40 AM): i cherish your beautiful is so adoring
F (4:08:41 AM): that's a sweet thing to say
dan (4:10:11 AM): i really need you to be by my side
dan (4:10:19 AM): you are every man dream
F (4:11:00 AM): u do?
dan (4:11:48 AM): yes i do, you think i'm kidding
F (4:11:58 AM): we don't know each other yet
dan (4:12:14 AM): you re impressing me every moment
F (4:13:14 AM): well, i really would like to get to know you better
dan (4:13:19 AM): then let us know eachother now
dan (4:13:27 AM): wat do u think?
F (4:13:59 AM): well if you call me, maybe ten hours from now
F (4:14:07 AM): i really have to have some sleep first
dan (4:15:19 AM): but i really need us to talk a little bit please dear
dan (4:15:29 AM): 7mins only (and then my cafe time is up)
F (4:15:30 AM): later
dan (4:15:33 AM): pls
F (4:16:17 AM): so r u saying that u do not plan to phone me later?
dan (4:16:40 AM): please no darling
dan (4:17:01 AM): can you please give me your mobile line
F (4:17:13 AM): i already gave it to u
dan (4:17:14 AM): the one you gave me is entering voice mail
dan (4:17:22 AM): and i dont like it
dan (4:17:35 AM): ok
F (4:17:43 AM): sorry, u don't like it but i turn it off when i am busy or sleeping
dan (4:17:45 AM): so when will you be online again
dan (4:18:08 AM): and please i'm sorry for the inconvinient pls
F (4:18:13 AM): i told u, can u phone me ten hours from now?
dan (4:18:19 AM): i did it for the sake of love
dan (4:18:26 AM): ok dear
F (4:18:42 AM): all right then, have a good rest of the day
F (4:18:46 AM): i have to hit the hay now
dan (4:18:52 AM): so now go to bed and have some rest
dan (4:18:57 AM): i love you
F (4:19:04 AM): i'll look forward to speaking with you later
dan (4:19:13 AM): do you really love me/
dan (4:19:16 AM): i'm sorry
F (4:19:19 AM): bye now
dan (4:19:24 AM): love cheer
dan (4:19:28 AM): s

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

Just found this in the email. Still laughing.

Quote:

Hi dear,
Well this is after we finish chatting to prove my love for you thats why i mail you.
The way i'm missing you i'm sure you not missing me like that your beauty is so adoring and when i see your picture is like i have seen everything i wanted in my life. if living you is a cream i'll be the first to commit it,the love i have for you is puzzle,i dont know how to announce the love i have for to the world. if i write your name in the sky the cloud with blow it away if write your name in the sea the wave will breeze it away but your name is engrave in my heart.
i'm an addict,i'm an addict for you, and is only your love is the drug i need to get ill. if you wake up in the morning i have send ,prosperity,joy,longlife,love,to be waiting for you at the door and if you wake up and open your day they are waiting for you.
i love you with all my heart,and you are a gift from God to me love cheers.
LOts of hugs and kisses from your dearest love,
Dan

Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 12:07 pm

You have certainly smitten him, Redshoes. Poor boy has volunteered to be a trophy machine now you see his photo everywhere:

Quote:

David,
so how are you i hope your ankle injury is getting better.
Well you tried in the match against chelsea i love your play.so please David i need to make another advertisement like the one of the Blagging Scum please i need to make more advertisement please David i need just like the blagging scum advertisement.tell Fxxxx i'm missing her too much i need her by my side
Please extend my greetings to the family and stay kool ok i love you.
But dont forget i need to make more advertisement so i'll be popular

I can't come up with anything that pays, but I'm sure that I can find him something voluntary. I'm sure the TWAT Flying Circus always need volunteer poster boys.

Maenwhile, Roy is in Japan (glad he reminded me Smile

)...

Quote:

Ok Dad,
Well i'll try and see what i'll do about it and how is the weather in Japan hope your help is fine and please Dad how is wayne hope he is doing fine and when you ask the courier what did they say about the car the courier make their customer inconvinient.
There must be some thing we must do the car cant go like that Dad you know i need this car to make movement easy for me and please i'm really sorry for the inconvinient extend my greeting to Wayne and Cristian.
From your son,
Dan

Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 12:13 pm

Quote:

if living you is a cream i'll be the first to commit it

That sounds so much like that character Crabtree in Allo Allo!

Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 2:16 pm

/\/\

I had to Google the weather in Japan, as well as the footie scores.

Quote:

Hi Dan,

There are thunderstorms in Japan today, it is very humid. We beat South Korea's FC Seoul 4 - 0 , Wayne and Christiano both scored. We are off to Mongolia at the weekend.

I am in no position to sort out anything about your car. You must contact them yourselves, if it has been stolen in Lagos then you should tell the police, or maybe the couriers sold it to pay the storage, they said that they would.

Roy

Meanwhile, as Dan has fallen for Redshoes, Razz

let's see if we can't use it....

Quote:

Hi Dan,

My ankle is still stiff, but the Doctor says it is getting better.

I dont know what to suggest if you don't want the pizza advert because
you are scared of a little flame, Dan.

I was asked to do some adverts for charity. They don't pay, but would
get you more publicity in LA. Fxxxx was very impressed when she saw
your Blagging Scum poster, she likes famous men.

Victoria wouldn't let me do a poster for testicular cancer, I would
have to be naked for that one. You could do that, or pose with 40 fish
and 40 loaves of bread for the Church. You would have to lie down with
the fish and bread though.

The other one I was asked to do, but haven't time, is 'Christ on a
Bike'. I attach the picture that the Church sent me. You have to dress
up like in the picture, and do the pose EXACTLY, on a bicycle. That
would get you on a huge billboard outside one of LA's biggest
churches. When Victoria and I take out Fxxx in my Bentley next week,
i could make sure we drive past it. If that sort of fame doesn't make
Fxxx love you, I'd be very surprised.

Any posters you can do for the Church, I'm sure that if I asked Father
Hackett, you would be able to jump the queue, as i can open doors for
you that you couldn't alone.

Be good, and send me a video or photos of you playing football,
although Mr Cr0pper is your legal agent, I can always try and help.

David.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

F has just replied to Dan's email

Quote:

Hi Dan,

I just loved your email. What wonderful words to wake up to. You sound like a very romantic and poetic man. I'll bet one of your hobbies is writing poetry.

Looking forward to your call today.

F

Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 9:36 pm

Let's hope Dan's poetry is better than the Vogons'. According to the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, 'On no account should you allow a Vogon to read poetry to you.'

Redshoes sent me the pictures that Dan is mooning over. I can see why he turns to gibberish. I promised not to post them, before you ask, she is using them in other baits. As foxy as Olga, that my concrete block was engaged to, and she was foxy (unlike the hairy Vlad that wrote her letters for her).

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 27 Jul 2007 Posts: 1

anxiously waiting for a follow-up here Cool

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

davito wrote:

anxiously waiting for a follow-up here Cool

So are we. The lad hasn't been online from that I can tell since I last posted. We will post it here when we hear from him.

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

I finally got around to sending Dan a reply from the couriers, sent him a confirmation of collection email Very Happy

:

Quote:

Subject: Confirmation of collection of Aston Martin

Dear Sir/Madam,

Please accept our apologies for not replying to you sooner, we have had major server problems recently, and as a result of that, we have had a loss of our email service for some time, the servers have been repaired and we are now operating as normal.

This email is a confirmation that you collected your car from Tin Can island, thank you for doing business with Mxxxxx Couriers, we hope you will use us again in the future for all your shipping needs!

Yours Sincerely,

Cxxxxx Mxxxxx.

Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 4:01 pm

I had a lad this bad once before.

I dropped him after 4 e-mails because I honestly couldn't take it. Congrats on putting up with him!

Posted: Sat Jul 28, 2007 12:33 pm

I don't know how long I've been baiting Dan, at least a year.

He emailed David today, he's being picky about what advert he does. Any good suggestions?

Quote:

Well about the christ on a bicycle they sent it to me but i did'nt make any interest dont like it so i did'nt reply.
they one i just need is just exactly like the blagging scum or making advertisement for phone company,puma,adidas,weavons,creams,fragrance and so money other just a modern advertisement.
and how is everybody hope they are fine.David won't you like to come to Nigeria for a Visit?just try please.
From your dearest friend,
Dan

******************

Dan to Roy:

Quote:

That Kool and interesting Dad is it true that some premiership teams and players are coming to Nigeria?
And Dad if you come i'll like you to come and visit me i'll really like to see you so how is everything i went to the passport office and they said that they re not working till further details before they'll get back to work.
Dad please do you know any movie industry in UK not a porn star just and ordinary movie?
and Dad extend my greetings to Wayne And Cristian i dont really kno the day i'll come to Uk but i promise very soon.premiership is starting by august.
And when are you people coming to Nigeria?
From your son,
Dan

I cant be arsed to reply to him yet, he keeps me waiting for days. However he is owed a slap for standing up Redshoes17.

Posted: Sat Jul 28, 2007 12:39 pm

Quote:

creams

Oh, the possibilities. Twisted Evil

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

Dan replied to the couriers, I didn't relise you sent him a cheap €250 car, Roy Laughing

Quote:

Sir,
Is this kidding or something like that you told me you hold my picture is'nt it and somebody came there to collect my car please sir i wont take this nonsense what you are trying to tell me is that somebody collected me car.please sir you have to call the harbour master thats not me i have only went to Tin Can Island i did'nt see the harbour master and the story you ar telling me is that the car has been collected you better do something fast before i report this matter to an interpol agent.
A car worth 250Euro just go like that i need you to do something about it ok.
tell the harbour master to go and tell the police of a missing car.
From Dan

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

I have inserted some spaces to make it readable. He is lying about the phone calls. He has not tried to call when he says he did. If he has called at any other time he has not left a message.

Also he always puts a little rose in the email but I do not know how to do that.

Quote:

Hi love,

Well i dont like what happen you told me to call 10hrs after chatting i called and it was still entring voice mail it annoyed me very much.

So how is everything hope you are doing well i really miss you so what a you really doing now.and please love do you have anyother advert like the one of the blagging scum or any phone company that need to make any advertisement to be sincere with me self i'm missing you.

If it will take me to bring the rainbow down and write your name on it to show to the world how colourful living you its i would have done it but the cloud will breeze it away but your name is engrave in my heart.from the one that cares life is beautiful.i love you.

lots of hugs and kisses from him that cares please send me one of your picture i love you and i miss you too kisses and love signs

Sorry I missed him in chat this morning, but he leaves some offline messages. First he wants F to send a chain email.

Quote:

dan (7/28/07 7:26:39 AM): You know Sweet words are easy to say, Sweet things are easy to buy, but sweet people like You are difficult to find. Life ends when You stop dreaming, hope ends when You stop believing, love ends when You stop caring, friendship ends when You stop sharing. As the north is far from the south so shall failure and sickness be far from You. As the west is far from the east , so shall poverty and misfortune be far from You and your household. And as the walls surround jerusalem , so shall God surround you with all the great treasuries of life. Please send this to all the friends on your list including me, by doing so you have succeeded in praying for all of them. And you'll see they'll all send it back to you. Have a wonderful day.from the one that cares about you

Here he seems to indicate that he has not called.

Quote:

dan (7/28/07 8:19:37 AM): love i did'nt see you i'm going home now before my uncle came back from where he went to

dan (7/28/07 8:20:11 AM): is not my fault but that number is a UK number some of my friends comfirmed it

dan (7/28/07 8:20:45 AM): love you cheerio kisses

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