Cool, I just got thrown out of our company's 401k meeting...

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Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 2:42 pm

...for being disruptive and nonsensical. Our company is switching to Prudential so we had to sit through the most boring meeting in the history of mankind with a Prudential rep. First I asked if their international funds included any dealings with the Nigerian government since there are allegedly billions of dollars in unclaimed funds sitting in their various banks and storage facilities. When I asked how I could incorporate my Steelers memorablia into their investment funds, my boss asked if I would please leave the room and answer the phones or something - which is great since I'd rather chew on my own colon than sit through one of those meetings. I'm now awaiting the end of the meeting when I am sure to receive another company pep-talk. I'm sure it won't be too bad since she was at the verge of laughing her ass off when she asked me to leave.

Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 2:49 pm

Haven't they tried sending you on one of those 'team building' weekends yet? I'm sure you'd have a great time.

Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 2:50 pm

That is awesome Rep. I am going to have to remember that the next time I have to go to one of those stupid meetings.

Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 3:11 pm

Well, the chewing-out pretty much went as expected...
BOSS: "If you didn't want to attend the meeting, why were you there?"
ME: "You said it was mandatory"
BOSS: "I guess so, but why did you feel the need to be so disruptive?"
ME: I don't know, Jane, I think it traces back to kindergarten, when my teacher wrote on my report card 'Ricky doesn't play well with the other children'. Do you think the company would fork over the money for me to see a shrink because I'd really like to get to the bottom of this"
BOSS: "Get the hell out of my office"

Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 3:29 pm

You want a T shirt I saw 'Do I look like a f*cking people person?'

Wear it as you ride your old Harley up the steps and into the next meeting...

Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 3:30 pm

You'd think she would know by now you shouldn't be expected to attend any meetings without Vicodin.

I recently disrupted our 401K meeting. Not as colorful as your story, but the guy was essentially advising everyone to start day trading their retirement accounts. He even showed a chart that proved how much money you could make if you perfectly time your investments to sell everything at market peaks and buy back in at market lows for ten years without ever missing. Rolling Eyes

I asked if he would like to see my chart that shows how rich I would be if I had sold everything I owned and purchased Microsoft in 1986.

Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 4:03 pm

I've only been here a few months, but wow, I didn't even have to see who posted it to know who would have gotten kicked out.... Razz

Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 4:10 pm

To bad I can't do something like this so I don't have to attend the baseball game the office is going to tommorrow.... if it was paid time at least that would be something.

Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 9:34 pm

Quote:

Cool, I just got thrown out of our company's

I knew who it was just from the thrown out part. Laughing

Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 12:11 am

Reprob8, Reprob8, Reprob8.
You are a person after my own heart. I've never gotten thrown out of a meeting. They just never ask me back.

I sat in on 6 consecutive 90 minute 401K presentations for our part timers. The very last one was the group that the part timers already have. I asked to see their prospectus. Its illegal to make a pitch without one. The presenter said he was not making a pitch as we were already customers. He said all the had was one. All I needed to see was one. After reading it I told him it was unconscionable to offer a 0.8% return after expenses. I took a look around the table and asked who was getting the kickback. Never been asked back.

I was on this strategic planning group. It was a burden as I would see everyone else headed towards the parking lot as I was headed to the meeting. One day it dawned on me that everyone voted for their best interest. Over half of the group were interested in less customers. Customers only made their work harder. Screw the customers. I voiced this observation and was never asked back.

Last night I met the boss at the coffee machine. He's flying out to St. Louis today for three days of living out of a suitcase. Hahaaaa. Last year I went to a large beer producer's HQ there and walked out of a three day meeting after a day and a half. I did not tell them that I was off to see my military boy for the first time in 7 weeks and that it would also be the last time before Christmas. All they saw was a disgusted Connie pick up a laptop, and wheel out a prepacked suitcase when Connie was told that something she was doing was not allowed, even though Connie was following written procedures and memos. A VP had walked into the conference and the entire room was suddenly populated with spineless creatures that could not remember these memos. As they say in the military -Whiskey- Tango -Foxtrot.
Between walking out and the hammering I gave them over the internet the following week, this is another meeting I am not invited to.

What's funny is that I have attended these meetings for years and they always ask the participants to only order their product in bars and restaurants. My boss only orders Corona. I'll ask him for their reaction next week.

Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 12:31 am

Reprob8,
You crack me up. Laughing

Connie,
One thing for sure, he has good taste. Wink

Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 12:58 am

Ah, corporate team building. Truly a scourge.

How I sabotaged an office game of Survivor, a team building exercise that was the brainchild of my idiot supervisor at the time.

Two problems:

1) I was on a temp assigment and would be done in a week. This game was going on for 8.
2) The grand prize was a family water park pass. As a single male, the only thing I would get out of that is a likely meeting with the guy from Dateline.

I finally agreed to join, if only to shut her up. The first immunity game was a a game where you had to guess the factoids about your co-workers that they wrote down, and randomly pulled from a hat.

Most of what was written down was banal horseshit "I like watching Will & Grace" and other crud.

What was mine?

"I fear intimacy, because of what Uncle Jim did to me when I was 6."

The game went silent for a few minutes, and it was called off. The paper was folded in such a way that nobody saw who the guilty party was, and I don't think anybody really wanted to check.

Office Survivor ended via an e-mail later that day. No word of what became of the waterpark pass.

Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 1:12 am

Well i have a close story in my 401K and the "Sit down" with the advisor i wanted to put like 20% into international funds and the Euro he said are you crazy? the euro wont last and will drop like a rock.

glad i didnt listen to him.. and have 22% in international and made more gain than if i didnt...

Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 2:30 am

@ Homer:

Reading these posts reminds me how much I hated working for others, and how much I love being self-employed now -- with no employees to manage...

Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 3:42 am

Reprob8, I too knew "who" was thrown out of the meeting. Wink

Your account is encouragement for everyone who has had to sit through a moronic meeting.

I was in "middle management" at one time and declared our office the THIRD happiest place on Earth (after Disneyland and Disney World). I handed out coloring crayons and pictures of the 7 dwarf (little people) in a staff meeting. We had fun and I was told that it was the best staff meeting EVER! Cool

(This after the upper %#*&@ declared "No more Kumbya".) I lasted about 5 more months and then "fell on my sword" as they were down sizing. 80% of the staff quit within 6 months of my departure.

I now proudly wear a shirt that says:

Does Not Play Well With Others! Shocked

from a biker outlet of course.

Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 4:02 am

Question from an ignorant non-American. Is 401K what we'd know as a 'superannuation' aka personal pension in Australia? If so, I share your pain. Our Govt has recently woken up to the fact that the baby boomers are rapidly reaching retirement age and they need to have enough savings/pension to support themselves because the taxpayer can't do everything. We are bombarded with all kinds of 'seminars' and 'information nights' (basically infomercials for the pension funds) and it's SOOOOO boring. And there's always a tree hugger in the audience who wants to talk about ethical investments and why can't he invest in hemp futures Laughing

Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 4:20 am

^^^ Yes, Gnasher, that is what a 401K is in the USA.

Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 5:55 am

I call the meetings. My meetings are never boring. I hand out checks for attendance after the meeting. No attendance, no check. You skip out, no check. You skip out and come back, no check.

I'd love to have all of you at one of my meetings. Really!

FDL

419Eater is my life Joined: 12 Jun 2005 Posts: 442

Glad to see/read I'm not the only person who has a problem sitting through boring office meetings. It all traces back to my first job ever at age 18 when the boss had a talk with me about not falling asleep when the rep was talking. (I was tired and bored, what can I say?)

Even now, I still have a hard time staying awake for any meetings. The last one I went to, the boss actually appointed a coworker whose job was to keep me awake/nudge me if I fell asleep. I'm not narcoleptic or anything, just easily bored and not a morning person for early meetings.

Am I disruptive? After reading reprob8's story, I feel redeemed in that I am not the only one who thinks they're a comedian at meetings. Until getting on medicine for adhd, I actually did used to start making cracks outloud and out of turn all the time. Now I just sleep in my own bed and skip the meetings Razz

Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 4:58 pm

I was laying in bed last night and wished I had a time machine. When he said I was 100% Vested, I SHOULD have asked when I get the vest and how long do I have to work here till I get the whole suit. DAMN, I'm losing my skills!!!

Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 6:15 pm

Speaking of playing well with others, I was once accused of not getting along with a co-worker and I said that I was insulted because I was the only person who always got "plays well with others" on their report card and if he wanted proof I would bring in the report cards to prove it. It's never been brought up again.

@homer - Loved it. I wouldn't have the guts to do that but I would turn around in an elevator to a bunch of strangers and ask them if they want to know why I called the meeting in an elevator.

Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 6:41 pm

Reprob8 - The real reason you were thrown out was they feared your next question might be "Does Charles Soludo manage your investments?" Since they would have had to answer "yes" to this question, they had to expel you before you asked it.

Bruin

Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 8:57 pm

^^^OOOOhhhh. That's another meeting I have not been to. I was asked to serve on an investment committee for a nonprofit. I went there and found that they had less than $500.00 in all their investment accounts. I suggested Lotto tickets. They thought I was kidding. I was serious.

@Homer- You are truly too funny. Reminds me of the last time our outfit had a Secret Santa White Elephant gift exchange. It was a "Holiday" party thing where numbers were drawn and #1 would go pick out and open a gift left under the tree by an employee. #2 could go for a new box or take #1's gift and give an unwrapped gift to #1. The last person could chose any gift in the room or go for the box under the Holiday Tree. Gift #10 was...um....pink. I thought it was a complete hit. The secretaries were taking it from each other and I though everyone was laughing their fannies off.

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