Quotes!

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 1:37 pm

Quote:

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

- Frank Zappa

Quote:

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

- Albert Einstein

Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 12:20 pm

Quote:

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; Never throw out anyone.

-Audrey Hepburn
Wink

Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 3:50 am

From his deathbed...paraphrased:

Quote:

Everyone dies; we all know that. But I've always believed an exception would be made in my case.

I read this years ago; can't remember exact wording or the person who said it. But I've always liked it...and I do believe that perhaps, just perhaps, an exception will actually be made in my case...and maybe yours also. Very Happy

Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 5:40 pm

Quote:

"In the long run you hit only what you aim at. Therefore, though you should fail immediately, you had better aim at something high."

Henry David Thoreau
1817-1862, Essayist and Poet

Posted: Sun Jul 08, 2007 11:19 am

Quote:

The most important things are hardest to say, because words diminish them.

Unknown

Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 12:22 pm

Quote:

Money isn't everything - but it ranks right up there with oxygen.

- Rita Davenport
Cool

Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 12:24 pm

One of the most brilliant quotes I have ever heard was from George Bernard Shaw, an Irish writer:

Quote:

"She has lost the art of conversation, but not, unfortunately, the power of speech."

Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 12:29 pm

My personal favourite is from Sir Winny himself:

Sir Winston Churchill wrote:

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.

** ACCOUNT CLOSED ** Joined: 15 Apr 2007 Posts: 766

"Ladies never move."

--Lord Cruzon, instructing his second wife on love-making

"Publish and be damned."

--Lord Welling, responding to blackmailer Joseph Stockdale

"He would make a drum out of the skin of his mother in order to sound his own praises."

--Lloyd George, on Winston Churchill

"You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think."

--Dorothy Parker, when challenged to make a rhyme involving "horticulture."

"If all the women at the Yale Prom were laid end-to-end, I wouldn't be the least surprised."

--Dorothy Parker

"I don't care what these affectionate people do with each other provided they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses."

--Beatrice Campbell

--J.D.

Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 3:35 pm

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
~Popular Mechanics, 1949

Ah, well, it's no use prevaricating about the bush.
~Wallace

[New York Time's] reaction to al-Zarqawi's death was to lower the U.S. flag at the Times building to half-staff. (Ha ha - just kidding! Everybody knows there aren't any American flags at The New York Times.)
~Ann Coulter

Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 2:32 am

Quote:

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast and it turned out to be trick knee.

** ACCOUNT CLOSED ** Joined: 15 Apr 2007 Posts: 766

^^^^^Nothing like the classics:

Quote:

Take my wife.

Please.

I take here everywhere.

She finds her way back.

I came home and found Ed in bed with my wife. I said, "Ed! I have to!"

"But you?"

--Henny "I Love this Crowd!" Youngman

--J.D.

Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 4:46 am

Unknown;
If you're laying on the floor drunk, and you don't have to hang on, you're not really drunk.

Posted: Sat Jul 21, 2007 3:01 am

Quote:

Sometimes I lie awake at nights and ask myself, "Where have I gone wrong?" then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."

- Charlie Brown

Posted: Sat Jul 21, 2007 3:25 am

"I was married by a Judge. I should have asked for a jury"

"A verbal agreement isn't worth the paper it's printed on."

"Dying is easy, comedy is hard"

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

"Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch".

W.C. Fields

Posted: Sun Jul 22, 2007 12:12 am

Quitting drugs and alcohol is easy, done it hundreds of times.
Unknown.

Posted: Sun Jul 22, 2007 12:27 am

@JoeTam, few posts above: variant:

An Irishman isn't drunk as long as he can hold on to one blade of grass and not fall off the face of the earth.

- n.b.: lest anyone accuse me of bigotry, I'm of Irish ancestry. And probably a bit on the inebriated side at the moment. so there.

** ACCOUNT CLOSED ** Joined: 15 Apr 2007 Posts: 766

^^^^I have a bunch of Gaelic proverbs . . . great stuff.

Anyways, found this interesting:

Quote:

A crank is a person inexplicably obsessed by an obviously unsound idea--a person with a bee in his bonnet. To call a person a crank is to say that because of some quirk of temperament he is wasting his time pursuing a line of thought that is plainly without merit or promise. ... To call a person a crank is basically just a colorful and insulting way of expressing disagreement with his master idea, and it therefore belongs to the language of controversy rather than to the language of defamation.

--Judge Richard Posner, U.S Court of Appeals for the Seventh Circuit

--J.D.

Posted: Sun Jul 22, 2007 1:20 am

Quote:

Operator! Give me the number for 911!

HOMER SIMPSON

Quote:

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa?

BART SIMPSON

Quote:

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel

HOMER SIMPSON

Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 2:40 am

Quote:

Procrastination gives you something to look forward to.

-Joan Ann Kraus Smile

Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 7:07 pm

Sir Winston Churchill
There are Lies, Damn Lies and Statistics.

My Former Boss
It is better to die, than to buy.

Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 8:29 pm

"See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don't attack each other. Free nations don't develop weapons of mass destruction." �George W. Bush. Milwaukee, Wis., Oct. 3, 2003

Moderator Joined: 10 Jan 2007 Posts: 14513

"Great Sacrifice Brings Great Rewards"
Tito Ortiz

Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 2:17 am

Quote:

Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who breaks them down.

- Unknown