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leia
Wannabe Baiter
Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 83
Location: somewhere in Colbert Nation
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Posted:
Thu Jun 28, 2007 8:57 pm |
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Quote: |
I am willing to put $10 on him contacting the good doctor and asking for that long forgotten debt... |
Oh I really, really hope so...I forgot to include so much in the "doctor's" e-mail: a kicking the football reference, the use of the word "blockhead". I just checked and so far no more e-mails from Bob; I got a little disappointed but then realized its only been 5 hrs - but I want instant gratification
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_________________ "I was contemplating with me...I have a reliable mind to complete this transaction with you. Let me cheap this into your mind that we will not suffer and another person will rip it, relax and forget him as you said." -Mr. Robert Kofi
"Please when ever you are writing to the bank
try and be specific and go straight to the point. Is an institution we are not interested in your boyfriend case." - fake bank
"I'm so annoyed with you are you sure you are with all your senses?" - Mr. Robert Kofi again |
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HellRyder
Pale Tracker
Joined: 06 Jun 2007
Posts: 872
Location: 127.0.0.1
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Posted:
Thu Jun 28, 2007 10:41 pm |
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leia
Wannabe Baiter
Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 83
Location: somewhere in Colbert Nation
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Posted:
Sat Jun 30, 2007 6:55 pm |
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Just got this!
Attn: Lucy Van P3lt,
Sir,
We acknowledged receipt of your email, we want to inform you that miss
Pr1ncess L3ia Org@na has a fund in our custody which her is requesting
for.
But we are requesting for her to send to us the original deposit Slip of
her funds, as a bank we can�t remit her fund without receiving the
original deposit Slip of her fund.
Thanks.
"This e-mail is intended only for the use of the recipient(s) named above.
Any unauthorized disclosure, use or dissemination, either in whole or in
part, is prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, kindly
notify the sender immediately via e-mail and delete this e-mail from your
system"
Sincerely,
Mr. JOHN K0FI M3NS@H
================
INTL COMMERCIAL BANK LTD
Head Office Annex:
M@kola Shopping Mall
P. O. Box 20057, Accr@ - Ghana.
Of course, he won't get a reply until Monday - Drs. hours you know... |
_________________ "I was contemplating with me...I have a reliable mind to complete this transaction with you. Let me cheap this into your mind that we will not suffer and another person will rip it, relax and forget him as you said." -Mr. Robert Kofi
"Please when ever you are writing to the bank
try and be specific and go straight to the point. Is an institution we are not interested in your boyfriend case." - fake bank
"I'm so annoyed with you are you sure you are with all your senses?" - Mr. Robert Kofi again
Last edited by leia on Mon Jul 02, 2007 12:49 am; edited 1 time in total |
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HellRyder
Pale Tracker
Joined: 06 Jun 2007
Posts: 872
Location: 127.0.0.1
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Posted:
Sat Jun 30, 2007 8:51 pm |
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leia
Wannabe Baiter
Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 83
Location: somewhere in Colbert Nation
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Posted:
Mon Jul 02, 2007 12:44 am |
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Well, it's almost Monday...
Dear Mr. Mens@h,
Thank you for your prompt response. Your involvement is very important in Ms. King's recovery. I am prepared to release all documents in the property of Ms.King. However, due to strict laws recently enacted by the USDA and APA (American Psychiatric Association), since you have been corresponding with a highly disturbed individual (Ms. King in the persona of the fictional characters "Leia 0rgana", "Luke Skyw@lker" and "Darth V@der'") our institute must have proof that you are an individual of sound mind and body. We know this an inconvenience, but unfortunately, in the past, some of our patients have used outside parties to smuggle them supplies to feed their mania. I know that you are a trustworthy individual who only has the best interest of Ms. King in mind, but this is federal law.
If you would please answer the following questionnaire and include a photograph of yourself at your place of business, I assure you that we will release all of the banking records dealing with the transaction between you and Ms. King.
Please answer the following form to the best of your ability:
K1RKPICARD0 PSA INVENTORY
The items below refer to how you have felt and behaved DURING THE PAST WEEK. For each item, indicate the extent to which it is true, by circling one of the numbers that follows it.
Using the following scale: 0 = Not at all 1 = Just a little 2 = Somewhat 3 = Moderately 4 = Quite a lot 5 = Very much
==========================================================================
1. My mind has never been sharper. 0 1 2 3 4 5
2. I need less sleep than usual. 0 1 2 3 4 5
3. I have so many plans and new ideas that it is hard for me to work. 0 1 2 3 4 5
4. I feel a pressure to talk and talk. 0 1 2 3 4 5
5. I have been particularly happy. 0 1 2 3 4 5
6. I have been more active than usual. 0 1 2 3 4 5
7. I talk so fast that people have a hard time keeping up with me. 0 1 2 3 4 5
8. I have more new ideas than I can handle. 0 1 2 3 4 5
9. I have been irritable. 0 1 2 3 4 5
10. It's easy for me to think of jokes and funny stories. 0 1 2 3 4 5
11. I have been feeling like "the life of the party." 0 1 2 3 4 5
12. I have been full of energy. 0 1 2 3 4 5
13. I have been thinking about sex. 0 1 2 3 4 5
14. I have been feeling particularly playful. 0 1 2 3 4 5
15. I have special plans for the world. 0 1 2 3 4 5
16. I have been spending too much money. 0 1 2 3 4 5
17. My attention keeps jumping from one idea to another. 0 1 2 3 4 5
18. I find it hard to slow down and stay in one place. 0 1 2 3 4 5
Copyright (c) 1993
Sincerely,
Dr. Lucy Van P3lt, M. D.
Watch - he'll just circle all 5's (if he does it at all...cross your fingers)
Update: 7/3/07
Attn: Lucy Van Pelt,
Sir,
We acknowledged receipt of your email, we want to informed you that we
don�t have any time with your questions, kindly bear in mind that we are
not ready to do anything with you without receiving the power of attorney
from Princ3ss Lei@ 0rgana. And the original deposit Slip of her funds.
Thanks.
"This e-mail is intended only for the use of the recipient(s) named above.
Any unauthorized disclosure, use or dissemination, either in whole or in
part, is prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, kindly
notify the sender immediately via e-mail and delete this e-mail from your
system"
Sincerely,
Mr. J0HN K0FI MENS@H
================
INTL COMMERCIAL BANK LTD
Head Office Annex:
Makola Shopping Mall
P. O. Box 20057, Accr@ - Gh@na.
Whatever, dude...either play or don't play
Sir,
I explained in a previous e-mail that I do have power of attorney for Ms. K1ng. Her parents had reliquished custody of her and I have taken over power of attorney. I also explained to you that due to federal laws you must fill out the questionnaire if we are to release any banking forms or deposit slips to you.
Frankly sir, I am most concerned about Ms. K1ng's mental health. My team's top priority is the care of our patients. The offer to help you resolve your financial transactions with Ms. K1ng was a courtesy - if you will not abide by federal laws of the United States of America by filling out the questionnaire than we have no further business with you and frankly sir, I am concerned that you continue to refer to R@chel K1ng as "Lei@ 0rgana"..."Lei@ 0rgana" is not real; she is a fictional character! I will give you another chance to fill out the questionnaire.
Good day, sir,
Dr. Lucy V@n P3lt
Really, the nerve of this guy! I went through many years of fake medical school to put up with this?!?!
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_________________ "I was contemplating with me...I have a reliable mind to complete this transaction with you. Let me cheap this into your mind that we will not suffer and another person will rip it, relax and forget him as you said." -Mr. Robert Kofi
"Please when ever you are writing to the bank
try and be specific and go straight to the point. Is an institution we are not interested in your boyfriend case." - fake bank
"I'm so annoyed with you are you sure you are with all your senses?" - Mr. Robert Kofi again |
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leia
Wannabe Baiter
Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 83
Location: somewhere in Colbert Nation
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Posted:
Wed Jul 04, 2007 2:04 pm |
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Attn: Lucy Van Pelt,
Subject:Point of correction I don�t have any personal financial transactions with Leia Organa.
Sir,
Point of correction I don�t have any personal financial transactions with
Leia Organa.
What consigns me about releasing any banking forms or deposit slips to us.
Let me repeat it to you again we don't have any time with your questions
period.
Thanks.
"This e-mail is intended only for the use of the recipient(s) named above.
Any unauthorized disclosure, use or dissemination, either in whole or in
part, is prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, kindly
notify the sender immediately via e-mail and delete this e-mail from your
system"
Sincerely,
Mr. JOHN KOFI MENSAH
================
INTL COMMERCIAL BANK LTD
Head Office Annex:
Makola Shopping Mall
P. O. Box 20057, Accra - Ghana.
Dude is seriously confusing me now. I'm open to any suggestions on a good slap for him
Mr. M3ns@h,
I have spent all the time I wish too on this matter. I have been courteous and understanding. If you do not wish to follow our procedures, so be it. I am moving on.
I have been contacted by another one of Ms. K1ng's corresponders...a Mr. @Charles @Soludo of N1geri@. He has also written e-mails to Ms. K1ng when she wsa posing as "Lei@ 0rgana." He has been willing to cooperate with us and has filled out all the forms we have requested of him.
We are prepared to release the funds held in account for you to him...all the funds.
I am sorry we could not resolve this matter with you. Our lawyers will now resolve all further matters with @Mr. Soludo and will release the money/deposit slips of Ms. K1ng aka "Lei@ 0rgana/Luk3 Skywalk3r/D@rth V@der" to him on July 5th.
Sincerely,
Dr. Lucy V@n Pe3t
Take that jerk! "ch@rles" will be contacting him to gloat very soon
UPDATE! And so "charles" has:
HA HA STUPID JERK OOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!I STOLE UR MONI FOR PRINCESS LEIA. UR MAGA DON BECOME MAI CASH MACHINE!YOU WERE TOO STUPID FO ANSA DOCTOR QUESTIONS - IT BI EASY, I DID IT NA NAU DEY VERY WAD .I GET LOTS OF MONI NAU. TOO BAD FO UNA, OK.
U DEY REALLY STUPID OOOOOOOOOO!!!! I DEY GOIN FO BUT MENI NICE THINGS...MAYBE I GO DECLARE U SOME BRAINS! !
GI IDA NA NDU. GI NA MBA NWOKE NA DII MKPURU NTA OGAN. GI NA OGBOYI OGBONYE NA GI NNA MKPURUUDA GI MBA OKPARA KA-MA ADA NWA AGBOO. OOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOO
MU OSISI M IRE OPUPU NA GI OGBOYI OGBONYE MMADU
Translation (roughly):
HA HA YOU STUPID JERK [GREAT EXCITEMENT]!!!!!!! I STOLE YOUR MONEY FROM PRINCESS LEIA. YOUR VICTIM HAS BECOME MY CASH MACHINE! YOU WERE TOO STUPID TO ANSWER DOCTOR QUESTIONS. IT WAS EASY - I DID IT AND AM VERY WEALTHY. I HAVE LOTS OF MONEY NOW. TOO BAD FOR YOU, OKAY.
YOU ARE REALLY STUPID [GREAT EXCITEMENT]!!!! I AM GOING TO BUY MANY NICE THINGS...MAYBE I WILL BUY YOU SOME BRAINS! !
YOU WILL FAIL AT LIFE. YOU WILL BE NO MAN WITH VERY SMALL ORGAN.YOU WILL BE POOR AND YOUR FATHER WILL CALL YOU NO SON BUT DAUGHTER GIRL. [GREAT EXCITEMENT]
I STICK MY TONGUE OUT AT YOU POOR PERSON
A little much? Well, I'm pissed off at the mechanic! They say they have to fix all 4 tires and when I just took the car in a two weeks ago, paid - I kid you not- $666, and asked them to look at the tires THEN and they said "oh no, the tires are fine" and now suddenly when the steering wheel starts shaking and I have no car and I have to get back to my place and check on the cat and I feel like
Where was I? Oh, so anyway "Robert/John/Whoever" feels my wrath! Unless I get a great insult back from them, I fear this is really the end..so thanks to everyone who read this, left comments, or will leave comments |
_________________ "I was contemplating with me...I have a reliable mind to complete this transaction with you. Let me cheap this into your mind that we will not suffer and another person will rip it, relax and forget him as you said." -Mr. Robert Kofi
"Please when ever you are writing to the bank
try and be specific and go straight to the point. Is an institution we are not interested in your boyfriend case." - fake bank
"I'm so annoyed with you are you sure you are with all your senses?" - Mr. Robert Kofi again |
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leia
Wannabe Baiter
Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 83
Location: somewhere in Colbert Nation
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Posted:
Thu Jul 05, 2007 9:13 pm |
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It's not the end
From Robert Kofi:
YOU DON�T KNOW HOW TO SPEAK IGBO.
THANKS.
Well, he did say "thanks". How dare he though - I used a perfectly reputable english to lad translater! Well, maybe the sentiment got a little lost in translation
But I want a real insult...a sig line worthy insult...Help me "Monty Python"...you're my only hope! (Hey! Kinda went full circle there. Neat! )
to Robert Kofi:
I NO WANNA OPEN MOUTH FO UNA NO MORE, U EMPTY HEADED ANIMAL FOOD TROUGH WIPER OOOOOO!!! I POLLUTE FOR UR GENERAL DIRECTION! UR MOMMA BI DI HAMSTER NA UR FATHER SMELT OF ELDERBERRIES!
Well, he said I didn't know how to speak Igbo, he didn't say anything about my lad speak. Watch out Bob, if you don't send me a good insult I'm gonna spam you back into the stone age
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_________________ "I was contemplating with me...I have a reliable mind to complete this transaction with you. Let me cheap this into your mind that we will not suffer and another person will rip it, relax and forget him as you said." -Mr. Robert Kofi
"Please when ever you are writing to the bank
try and be specific and go straight to the point. Is an institution we are not interested in your boyfriend case." - fake bank
"I'm so annoyed with you are you sure you are with all your senses?" - Mr. Robert Kofi again |
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pilgrim
Elite Baiter
Joined: 19 May 2004
Posts: 1789
Location: In the colonies
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Posted:
Thu Jul 05, 2007 10:29 pm |
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^^^
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_________________ I know somebody in the wester union agent here, therefore i will not have any problem.
All the walfare of United States Citizen is my cosine.
x 140 x 45 x 2 x 9 x13 x 3 x 19 x 6 x 41 x 8 x 2 x 6 x 12 x 4 x 4 x 3 x 21 x 2 x 7 x 6 x 2 x 4 x 22 x 162+ |
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leia
Wannabe Baiter
Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 83
Location: somewhere in Colbert Nation
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Posted:
Thu Jul 05, 2007 11:48 pm |
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Thanks
My sister says I should send him the Wham song one but I think I might go for Queen. We'll see... |
_________________ "I was contemplating with me...I have a reliable mind to complete this transaction with you. Let me cheap this into your mind that we will not suffer and another person will rip it, relax and forget him as you said." -Mr. Robert Kofi
"Please when ever you are writing to the bank
try and be specific and go straight to the point. Is an institution we are not interested in your boyfriend case." - fake bank
"I'm so annoyed with you are you sure you are with all your senses?" - Mr. Robert Kofi again |
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HellRyder
Pale Tracker
Joined: 06 Jun 2007
Posts: 872
Location: 127.0.0.1
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Posted:
Thu Jul 05, 2007 11:52 pm |
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leia
Wannabe Baiter
Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 83
Location: somewhere in Colbert Nation
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Posted:
Fri Jul 06, 2007 5:45 pm |
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Nah, no money necessary...I'm just happy some people liked this
Now, if only I can annoy him enough to send me a real insult Today's e-mail was an annoying spam of the opening crawl from A New Hope AND The banana boat song (DAY-O!)...in lad speak.
I WILL get him to acknowledge me!!! |
_________________ "I was contemplating with me...I have a reliable mind to complete this transaction with you. Let me cheap this into your mind that we will not suffer and another person will rip it, relax and forget him as you said." -Mr. Robert Kofi
"Please when ever you are writing to the bank
try and be specific and go straight to the point. Is an institution we are not interested in your boyfriend case." - fake bank
"I'm so annoyed with you are you sure you are with all your senses?" - Mr. Robert Kofi again
Last edited by leia on Sat Jul 07, 2007 2:31 am; edited 1 time in total |
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HellRyder
Pale Tracker
Joined: 06 Jun 2007
Posts: 872
Location: 127.0.0.1
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Posted:
Sat Jul 07, 2007 12:17 am |
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Luther Blissett
Elite Baiter
Joined: 06 Sep 2005
Posts: 1029
Location: Watford, Middle East
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Posted:
Sat Jul 07, 2007 7:13 am |
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Sirius Jones
Not quite a Newb
Joined: 20 Jun 2007
Posts: 62
Location: Earth, or thereabout
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Posted:
Sat Jul 07, 2007 8:53 pm |
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Zorro
419Eater is my life
Joined: 01 Feb 2007
Posts: 377
Location: In levitation
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Posted:
Sun Jul 08, 2007 11:49 am |
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Really great work ... May The Force Be With You |
_________________ Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end; then stop
There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes, you know he's crooked.
The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once. |
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