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Obi-Wan Knievel
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 10 Dec 2006
Posts: 1486
Location: Bald Knob, NF
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Posted:
Sat Jul 07, 2007 3:51 am |
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Just posting this for cheap laughs. Check out my 2nd or 3rd e-mail from sickly-dying Almira here...
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Dear lemmy,
Waiting to hear from you.
These is no time.My days are numbered.Please do what ever you are doing fast.
One more thing.do keep me up dated.ummmmmmmmmm no strenght.
Thanks.
Almira Ahmed. |
Obviously, this is a lad with broadway experience! First time I've received an e-mail complete with typed sound effects. I'm still waiting for the standard hospital photos (even though they're shots of a guy) for added authenticity. Who says lads don't try hard enough? |
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johnny5
Master Baiter
Joined: 14 Jun 2007
Posts: 109
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Posted:
Sat Jul 07, 2007 4:43 am |
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"No strength" but manages to type an email with no missing letters, only a couple of minor typos a mix of and upper / lower case that produces surprisingly good grammar, all from his death bed.
Talented lad.
if i was almost dead i think id type the way i do when overtired.. like thsi |
_________________ "When you do something right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all" - "God", Futurama |
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B. A. Ware
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 14 Apr 2007
Posts: 1828
Location: I've fallen and I can't reach my beer.
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Posted:
Sat Jul 07, 2007 5:33 am |
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L.J.
Keep up the good work. I'd like to write more but I c,a,n,t even,,, lift my beeeeeer.
Maybe this lad lives near the castle aaaarrrrrrggggggghhhhhh. |
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Red
Baiting Guru
Joined: 25 May 2007
Posts: 2543
Location: 6°27′11″N 3°23′45″E
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Posted:
Sat Jul 07, 2007 5:50 am |
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must....summon....strength....to....type.....response.....will......power.....fading..... apathy.....growing......
Naturally all your replies will be in the form of:
"Too tired to type any words today so please use telekinesis to decipher this email" |
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Doctor X
** ACCOUNT CLOSED **
Joined: 15 Apr 2007
Posts: 766
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Posted:
Sat Jul 07, 2007 6:32 am |
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While I love Lovecraft, he would try to hard to give the idea of "first person" in his work. As one critic put it, "if only he knew about dictaphones!"
So, in one, his "last words" are "THE THREE LOBED EYE!!"
Because . . . when an "unspeakable" denizen from the "cthonic realms" is in the process of devouring you . . . you need to commit these details to writing. That story was written as a friendly "slap" to Robert Bloch of "Psycho" fame.
Though he surpassed that when he had his "protagonist" pen:
"Dragged down stairs!"
Wish I could find the article on him from years back which had a hilarious cartoon of a writer furiously scribbling on scattering pages while being dragged down a flight of stairs.
Still, as the critic who loved his work noted, such mistakes one could overlook in the pleasure that is Lovecraftian horror. What one could NOT overlook was the tendency in his admirers and imitators, one of whom DID end a story with the "protagonist" writing . . .
. . .
. . .
. . . you guessed it: "AAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
Wonder about doing that in an e-mail to a lad, sort of like making a post and noticing that an unspeakable fungi from the aether has just burst through the door to take me to the unnameable Stygian depths as written in the Book of Edebion grabbing my sandals and spilling my mocha IT IS EATING MY BRAIN!!!!!
--J.D. |
_________________ וגם־אני נתתי להם חקים לא טובים ומשפטים לא יחיו בהם
ואטמא אותם במתנותם בהעביר כל־פטר רחם למען אשםם למען אשר ידעו אשר אני יהוה |
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rumbero
Baiting Guru
Joined: 06 Jun 2006
Posts: 3677
Location: All the Salsa Night Clubs
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Posted:
Sat Jul 07, 2007 6:39 am |
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Quote: |
Please do what ever you are doing fast. |
Tell him that the spaceship you are building is going to take a little while.
Tell him not to woooooooooooooorry |
_________________ Lagos to Tamale. Rev. Frank Lagos to Abuja
Lagos to Abuja Pr1nc3 F@w@z
Ghana to Benin's Simba Camp Joe C@rlton
Lagos to Ghana Opus Dei Templar
Nukuru to Mombasa 1,500 kms van donation
Co bait with SlowFreddy Sao Tome island to Gabon Lagos to Abuja Co, donation
YOUR WIFE WILL GIVE BIRTH TO A MONKEY, YOU ARE GOING TO SUFFER FROM EPILEPTIC,
LET YOUR MOTHER FUCK YOUR BEST FRIEND. LET YOUR FATHER FUCK A MAD STREET WOMAN, USELESS INTERNET FRAUDSTER. (barrister Dan )
I bet u , soon , u will be laying in a close casket ,
will make u understand that i'm a spiritual man (Makinwa the retarded mugu)
in juses name u will dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
( Makinwa) |
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Obi-Wan Knievel
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 10 Dec 2006
Posts: 1486
Location: Bald Knob, NF
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Posted:
Sat Jul 07, 2007 8:11 am |
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This lad is the most. He / she (not sure which, haven't really asked) also has two, count 'em two barristers. But she only needs one and has asked me to sever all contact with the other one because (well duh!) he can't be trusted. My character doesn't know what the hell is going on, but this could be the start of three very antagonistic relationships.
I'm thinking maybe s/he switched ogas in mid-scam. Do 419-er syndicates often recruit dramatic lads? What would they offer, dental plan? More vacation time? Keys to an indoor bathroom? |
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Doctor X
** ACCOUNT CLOSED **
Joined: 15 Apr 2007
Posts: 766
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Posted:
Sat Jul 07, 2007 8:21 am |
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They have a fantastic 419K. . . .
--J.D. |
_________________ וגם־אני נתתי להם חקים לא טובים ומשפטים לא יחיו בהם
ואטמא אותם במתנותם בהעביר כל־פטר רחם למען אשםם למען אשר ידעו אשר אני יהוה |
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Red
Baiting Guru
Joined: 25 May 2007
Posts: 2543
Location: 6°27′11″N 3°23′45″E
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Posted:
Sat Jul 07, 2007 8:25 am |
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I love it so much, I really think she/he ran out of things to say, had a total mind blank and just though 'hmmm f* it....'.
I'm definitely using the "ummmmmmmmmmmmm no strenght" modality when I can't come up with anything good. |
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Tommo Shanter
Baiting Guru
Joined: 13 Jan 2006
Posts: 5378
Location: Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad. - Euripides
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Posted:
Sat Jul 07, 2007 9:00 am |
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Quote: |
My days are numbered |
Aaaaaaaaah. It's The Final Countdown. |
_________________ £1,052,334.30 (=US$2,121,125.60) lads fake cheques out of circulation (at 11/6/2008)
x135 (at 26/9/2008) x138
"i see your not interested in the transaction but catching your fun, calling names and my muckery of me." - Usman Bello
"You need to visit a good psychiatrist very fast, because some nuts are missing from your brain." - PROF.SOLUDO
"...it is very important you forward the your cycling proficiency certificate which by right belongs to you." - Prof Charles Soludo.
"note i can still change my mind to blow you off and whenever" - T0ny 'The Killerman' Erik
YOUR GENERATION WILL ROAST IN ABSTRACT POVERTY,BASTARD IDIOT -Daniel Mensah
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The Man
Baiting Guru
Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Posts: 2885
Location: La La Land
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Posted:
Sat Jul 07, 2007 10:50 am |
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Maybe she was dictating it? |
_________________ ---
The Man
YOU ARE A CHILD OF SATAN WITH YOUR HUNGRY DIRTY BODY ,TUNDER FIRE YOU BIG HEAD IDIOT !!! HA HA HA HA HA
IS THIS HOW YOU DECIDED TO TREAT US AFTER ALL WE WENT THROUGH?YOU MADE US TRAVELLED TO ABUJA AND INDEBTED US.
"Cursed is your mother that gave birth to a family-disgrace like you. Cursed is your father he could not control his lust for anything under skate"
"hey u crakhead motherf*cking nitwit, from the way u express the cockamamy sh*t that ur dumb brain is made up of it's so obvious that u never really made it past elementary school but anywayz dogs don't have to go to school afterall."
(Lagos to Abuja)
x2
<---in lieu of a brownie. TS
x8 |
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Saint Arnold
Elite Baiter
Joined: 26 Sep 2006
Posts: 1261
Location: By the kegerator
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Posted:
Sat Jul 07, 2007 1:01 pm |
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^^^^^^^ DAMN YOU! I was scrolling through this thread hoping that no one had caught that obvious reference.... and had almost made it down to the "Post Reply" button.... |
_________________ The baiter formerly known as Krona
Our legal team are on standby for the next line of action in this very interesting case.already they are still studying the MTCN number that you sent,it will be used as evidence together with your full names and address,when this epic battle commences. - the one and only Charles Soludo
--------------------------
x15 (RIP) x7 x1
Lottery lad, Benin City - Abuja A new minister, Lagos-Benin City The same minister, Lagos - Tamale, Ghana
Dr. Johnson - Abidjan-Abuja and back again (so far! - 1666 miles round trip)
<----because life can seem bleary and bleak without one. TS
Because Lotta is a great and beautiful mod!
x21 |
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The Man
Baiting Guru
Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Posts: 2885
Location: La La Land
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Posted:
Sat Jul 07, 2007 1:04 pm |
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I was surprised that such an easy one was there for me to take given the number of posts before I got here |
_________________ ---
The Man
YOU ARE A CHILD OF SATAN WITH YOUR HUNGRY DIRTY BODY ,TUNDER FIRE YOU BIG HEAD IDIOT !!! HA HA HA HA HA
IS THIS HOW YOU DECIDED TO TREAT US AFTER ALL WE WENT THROUGH?YOU MADE US TRAVELLED TO ABUJA AND INDEBTED US.
"Cursed is your mother that gave birth to a family-disgrace like you. Cursed is your father he could not control his lust for anything under skate"
"hey u crakhead motherf*cking nitwit, from the way u express the cockamamy sh*t that ur dumb brain is made up of it's so obvious that u never really made it past elementary school but anywayz dogs don't have to go to school afterall."
(Lagos to Abuja)
x2
<---in lieu of a brownie. TS
x8 |
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Doctor X
** ACCOUNT CLOSED **
Joined: 15 Apr 2007
Posts: 766
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Posted:
Sat Jul 07, 2007 1:14 pm |
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We sort of take the Python references as "read."
--J.D. |
_________________ וגם־אני נתתי להם חקים לא טובים ומשפטים לא יחיו בהם
ואטמא אותם במתנותם בהעביר כל־פטר רחם למען אשםם למען אשר ידעו אשר אני יהוה |
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dgloryhole
419Eater is my life
Joined: 04 May 2007
Posts: 395
Location: i will never be the man my mother was
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Posted:
Sat Jul 07, 2007 2:06 pm |
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Yastreb
Common Street Thawth Vergabon
Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 17388
Location: Leading my wolf pack
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Posted:
Sat Jul 07, 2007 10:55 pm |
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Quote: |
Ph'nglui mglw'nfah Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
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I always wanted to post that! |
_________________ Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your dead Ok
May you never se the end of the year, May you sick and die in JESUS NAME AMEN.
MARK MY WORD, YOU SHALL FALL SICK, IF YOU DONT PLEASE WITH ME, YOU SHALL DIE OF THE SICKNESS, THIS IS MY FINAL WORD TO YOU
I HAVE PLACED YOU UNDER MY ORACLE GODS,
YOU SHALL CRY AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS OR YOU DIE
x5 x2 x 246
x 5 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos-Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos-Accra; Femmy Lagos-Porto Novo; "Woody" Accra-Singapore; Henry Philip Abuja-Natitingou w/MG & DSW
x 7 |
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CollateralDamage
Master Baiter
Joined: 01 Jun 2007
Posts: 175
Location: Beside the Fire - reading
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Posted:
Sat Jul 07, 2007 11:49 pm |
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Not a drama queen but Mr Sydn3y M0rning H3rald has started to give me inspirational sayings to motivate me to travel to a WU office.
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In life for you to be succesful you have to be ready to strive for greatness |
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And please act fast you know this is a company and we have other things doing too just try travel to any of them remember the say"NOTHING GOOD COMES EASY"Take that as your strenght and look out for one of those offices |
Who said that lads don't have the best interests of their mugus at heart. |
_________________ i know that you are a bid fool as you use to fool your devil church member go and find a goat and sleep with istead of westing and other person time
i dont have time for you u most be a basted from your mother and your father must be a big dog but all i will let u know is that may u go and die like a lizard as i don't want u to skeak with me any more if u reply this message that means your father and mother including all your family is a dog and goat.
bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bbbbbbbbbbbbbb mr lizard pastor - Mrs Williams
GO THE HELL AND TELL MAX PAYNE TO PUT A PENGUIN UP HAS ASS SHIT HEAD - Bob Manlee
x1
CD - 4
Lad - 0 |
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Yastreb
Common Street Thawth Vergabon
Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 17388
Location: Leading my wolf pack
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Posted:
Sun Jul 08, 2007 2:57 am |
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One Lad gave me a prayer to recite to shore up my willingness to carry out his modalities:
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talks to God "Father I thank you for the revelation of your word to me this day.I'm resolved this day to trust and beleive the words of the man who you have annointed for my sake.I'm learning now to take advantage of this truth,in Jesus Name, Amen!
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I repleid:
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I also don't believe that prayer achieves a gorram thing, so that piece of doggerel that you supplied ain't passing my lips.
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He didn't mention reilgion again. |
_________________ Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your dead Ok
May you never se the end of the year, May you sick and die in JESUS NAME AMEN.
MARK MY WORD, YOU SHALL FALL SICK, IF YOU DONT PLEASE WITH ME, YOU SHALL DIE OF THE SICKNESS, THIS IS MY FINAL WORD TO YOU
I HAVE PLACED YOU UNDER MY ORACLE GODS,
YOU SHALL CRY AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS OR YOU DIE
x5 x2 x 246
x 5 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos-Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos-Accra; Femmy Lagos-Porto Novo; "Woody" Accra-Singapore; Henry Philip Abuja-Natitingou w/MG & DSW
x 7 |
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