I got over a huge phobia...

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Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 12:53 pm

I was asked by my employer and a POS software company to conduct a 30 minute power point presentation/demonstration/speech on the methods I use to customize the touch screens on this particular software to a conference of 400 POS dealers from the US and other countries held here in Chicago. I've always been uncomfortable to the point of near panic when I have to speak in front of a group of people but they offered me 500 bucks to make the pp presentation and do the thing so I half-heartedly agreed. I borrowed a line from my hero, Lewis Black, and started the presentation thusly:

"Being here in front of you reminds me of my high-school prom - I'm wearing an uncomfortable suit, I'm nervous, and, when it's over, I don't think I'm going to get laid."

Thankfully, that got a monster laugh, I calmed down, and the whole thing went on without a hitch. Had no one laughed, I think I would have passed out. Thanks, Lew! Now I need to work on that revolving door phobia.

Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 1:19 pm

Good for you, it's like swimming, the water is very cold, but once you're in there it isn't that bad. Just think when you go up there, "what's the worst thing that can happen?" Now if you start thinking that while driving, pull over and take a break. Wink

I had the same problem like you, but after the first time it was fun (better than normal work) And... I managed to get laid prom night Laughing

Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 1:26 pm

Where are you going to find someone to pay you $500 to go through a revolving door?

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

Funny, my wife the extrovert hates talking before crowds, while I, the introvert, relish in it. Whether in court or giving a seminar, I tend to picture myself as an actor, playing a role -- it makes you less self-conscious and you can pretend to inhabit the skin of someone else.

Well done Repro!

Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 1:46 pm

Congrats, R8! Just remember the key points of this guy's PP presentation next time you get to do one:

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=23724

Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 2:01 pm

Oh No, I think I violated everyone of those Laughing

Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 2:11 pm

Nevermind, all they remember is the opening sentence, they were just there for the free drinks anyway Wink

Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 2:14 pm

Reprob8 wrote:

Oh No, I think I violated everyone of those Laughing

It cracked me up.. Reminded me so much of work. EVERYTHING he did.

Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 2:31 pm

I heard years ago that public speaking was either #1 or #2 on most people's most-feared list - some people feared death more than speaking in public, but not everyone.

Good call on starting out with a joke. I'm surprised you got paid so much to a bunch of piece-of-sh*t software manufacturers, must be those excellent baiting skills at work.

Yes, I know that "POS" means point of sale.

Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 2:56 pm

That must have been quite funny to hear in that setting. Did you also mention you souless hellbeast of an ex-wife? I laugh every time you include her in one of your photo essays.

Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 3:55 pm

^^^^^ Actually, I did. Here is one of the power point slides. The entire presentation was a bit off the wall but I think they enjoyed it.

CLICKY

Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 6:36 pm

Rep in a suit??? Shocked

I'm sorry I missed that, but it sounds like you did a storming job, Rep. Smile

I'm used to public-speaking, but when a friend asked me to do a reading at her wedding, I was terrified. It just goes to prove; take someone out of their comfort zone, and it doesn't matter how used they are to similar things. Sad

Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 6:52 pm

Daily I take the lectern (teacher here) and have to agree, more often than not you are an entertainer, you have a message to deliver, you can either do that monotone, or do it with giggles and life. I know which I prefer.

Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 10:28 pm

That's a great opening line R8. I hate public speaking too but getting the audience to laugh from the get-go always breaks the ice and grabs their interest for the rest of the presentation (hopefully).

Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 11:42 pm

This doesn't help with my fear of spiders Sad

There was a spider on my window and after I saw him dead (I sprayed him with raid) I still sprayed the window... The whole window...

Then the other night I saw 2 little spiders on the window next to the couch sp I sprayed them and for the last 2 nights I have slept on the mini couch... (I would sleep in my room but my bed is covered in stuff... Which probably is covered in spiders. For $500 I would sleep there though Very Happy

Good job on getting over that. It took me like 2 weeks to muster up the courage to tell a small group something Shocked

Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 3:21 am

I've done a rare few presentations, and I find that 20 mg. of Vicodin is a great help. That and a cold beer. And a .01 mg. Lorazepam. And a ............ oh, nevermind, I' m joking. What freaks me out is MRI machines. Cannot do them. I flip out. Claustrophobia takes charge. Revolving doors are no prob. Your PP slide had me slipping out of my chair laughing, Reprob8. I think our ex's were Sisters.

Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 3:49 am

I had to do a ppt in Chinese and talk in Chinese to a bunch of potential employers last week... I was waiting for the point where I would become nervous, but strangely I didn't.

it's really not that bad is it Very Happy

Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 4:03 am

Great job Reprob8. Next time just imagine your audience naked. Bring in those X-ray glasses from the back of comic books.
Jokes are good. So are cheese cake photos. I learned that from a boss, one of the smartest men I have met. He had Phd's in Mechanical and Electrical Engineering. This man from Oz would randomly show shots out of Playboy in his slide show presentations. Even the women would pay attention. It would be considered a hostile work environment now.

Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 7:57 am

As a radio presenter I've done thousands of stage shows. Never got nervous at one of em. Take the mic away though and ask me to speak in front of 10 people and I'm a nervous wreck!
Love that opening line JT, laughed me sox off Laughing

Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 8:23 am

I used to get nervous until somebody pointed out that in fact the audience was hoping I would do well.

Think about it.. when you're watching somebody on stage, you generally hope they won't make an ass of themselves, because you're thinking 'That could so easily be me' and you have empathy with them.

Once you appreciate as a speaker that the audience is, basically, on your side, everything becomes OK... Cool

Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 8:54 am

Well done you! That was a good way to start, incidentally - get them laughing and liking you, and they are putty in your hands!

I gave a talk to the entire Archaeology Department during my degree finals, on Howard Carter and the Tomb of Tutankhamun. Talking about tomb inscriptions, I said 'and of course, there is NO such thing as the curse of the pharaohs'. The theatre lights went out. Projector jammed. The slide stuck there, in true horror film fashion, slowly burnt through and burst into glames. Emergency lights finally came on and I asked the crowd to entertain themselves as I couldn't tap dance. Half an hour later, we resume, and I have to start off with 'And I would now like to retract my last rash, and patently untrue, statement...' Everyone laughed, rest of the talk went fine. But I haven't been able to make myself do another one since!! Laughing

Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2007 2:06 am

shakira wrote:

This doesn't help with my fear of spiders Sad

There was a spider on my window and after I saw him dead (I sprayed him with raid) I still sprayed the window... The whole window...

Then the other night I saw 2 little spiders on the window next to the couch sp I sprayed them and for the last 2 nights I have slept on the mini couch... (I would sleep in my room but my bed is covered in stuff... Which probably is covered in spiders. For $500 I would sleep there though Very Happy

Good job on getting over that. It took me like 2 weeks to muster up the courage to tell a small group something Shocked

Fence mender... Tell the spider a joke next time, it paralyzes them and you can Raid(tm) them easier! Shocked

It is "killing them with laughter" and much more enviromnentally friendly! Cool

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