Will they REALLY respond to anything?

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Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 3:46 pm

I remember someone in here posting that some of these lads will respond to virtually anything, so I decided to give it a shot with one of the letters I had not yet replied to. I thought this was one of the dumber mugus I had yet heard from (note how his deceased client magically changes names later in the letter), so I decided to put him to the test:

Quote:

Contact Number:00 87-1762534675
Fax....number 00 87-1762534676
Email:[email protected]

TRANSFER OF US$55,600,000.00

I am Mr.Abba Gana,Head of Banking operations of a developement bank.
I am writing in respect of one of our esteemed customer Mr.Burke Sean,
who was a victim of Korea Air Flight 801 crash in which the whole
passenger
crashed.For details about the crash you can go to
http://wwwcnn.com/WORLD/9708/06/guam.passenger.list/.

Mr. Bunke Sean made a numbered time (Fixed) Deposit for
twelve calendar months, valued at
US$55,600,000.00(Thirty five Million Dollars) in my
bank. Upon maturity,I sent a routine notification to
his forwarding address but got no reply. After a
month, we sent a reminder and finally we discovered
from his contract employers, the Chinese Solid
Minerals Corporation that Mr.Bunke Sean was a passenger
in the ill-fated Korean plane that crashed.

On further investigation, I found out that he died
without making a will and all attempts to trace his
next of kin were fruitless.I therefore made further
investigation and discovered that Mr. Smith Lawrence
did not declare any �next of kin� or relations in all
his official documents,including his Bank Deposit
paperwork in my Bank. This sum of US$55,600,000.00 is
still sitting in my Bank and the interest is being
rolled over with the principal sum at the end of each
year. No one willever come forward to claim it. on this note,
I decided to seek for whom his name shall be used as the next of kin
as no one has come up to be the next of kin. More worrisome
is the fact the banking ethics here does not allow such money
to stay more than a decade,after which the fund would be
reverted back to the treasury as unclaimed funds.

I will like you as a foreigner to stand in as the
next of kin to Mr.Bunke Sean so that the fruits of
this man's labour will not be wasted.In view of this ,
I will send you by fax or e-mail the full names and
address of my bank as well as the next step to take if your
response is assuring. At this juncture,I will not fail to bring
to your notice that this business is hitch free and that you should not
entertain any fear as all modalities for fund transfer
can be finalized within few banking days, after you apply
to the bank as a relation to the deceased.
Kindly send me an e-mail signifying your decision including
your private Tel/Fax numbers for quick communication.

Best Regards,

Mr.Abba Gana

Also note how $55,600,000.00 translates to "Thirty five Million Dollars." If he responds to this, he is dumber than a bag of hammers...

Quote:

Greetings, my friend!

I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly. I'm crying.

Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come. Corporation T-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday, Man you've been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long.

I am the eggman, they are the eggmen. I am the walrus, goo goo g' joob.

Mr. city policeman sitting pretty little policemen in a row. See how they fly like Lucy in the sky, see how they run. I'm crying. I'm crying, I'm crying!

Yellow matter custard dripping from a dead dog's eye. Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess; boy, you've been a naughty girl, you let your knickers down. I am the eggman, they are the eggmen. I am the walrus, goo goo g' joob.
Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun; if the sun don't come you get a tan from standing in the English rain

I am the eggman, they are the eggmen. I am the walrus, goo goo g' joob. Expert, texpert choking smokers don't you think the joker laughs at you! See how they smile like pigs in a sty, see how they snide...I'm crying.
Semolina pilchard climbing up the Eiffel tower. Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna
Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe

I am the eggman, They are the eggmen, I am the walrus
Goo goo g' joob
Goo goo g' joob
Goo goo g' goo
goo goo g' joob goo
juba juba juba
juba juba juba
juba juba juba juba
juba juba

Regards,

Brother Hannibal Lecter
Church of the Holy Walrus

Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 4:04 pm

I've tried a few like that, but I'm still waiting for a reply Crying or Very sad

Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 4:08 pm

Sounds more rational than half the stuff these dickheads send back to us.

Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 4:10 pm

Pardon the noobism, but what is WUXfer?

I was wondering earlier about a BADger, but now I know. Too bad...

Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 4:15 pm

WUXfer = Western Union transfer.

Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 4:26 pm

Thanks.

I thought for sure someone would say something smartassed like "Well, if you don't know what a WUX is fer, then I guess y'all don't need one."

Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 4:30 pm

Epistimon wrote:

WUXfer = Western Union transfer.

Not quite... doesnt that refer to the annoying gif which loads for ever when comes up with an error. Basically it makes the mugu think that he is getting his WU money with some online program..except its just an animated gif. I think there is a standalone program now... maybe someone else can give the details!

Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 4:38 pm

Now THAT would be sweet to have! Very Happy

Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 5:01 pm

I replied to two email from one person with "So?" and "So what?" and I got a reply.

These guys *are* using a script of some kind. My bait address is in the nitwit's system twice, so all script replies come to me twice. Oh yes, he's in South Africa, he wants an airport meeting, so I'm definitely going to drop by. Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 5:48 pm

Well, I am in SA too. Would be interesting to see what he is up to.

Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 8:21 pm

I too am traveling to South Africa...but so far my guy hasn't been much for cooperation.

Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 9:00 pm

If you're arranging a meet with a lad in South Africa send an e-mail to [email protected]. The site is run by a member of the Commercial Branch of the South African Police called Rian and they're more than happy to meet and greet mugus on our behalf.

Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 10:28 pm

Reading your reply made me die laughing.

Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 12:52 am

Oh, I just <b>love</b> the welcome wagon! Especially when everybody wears formal blue attire.

Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 6:17 pm

I think you misunderstood me, I am not "traveling" to SA, I live in SA.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 22 Jan 2004 Posts: 3

God bless you and all of SA for Charlize!

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 24 May 2004 Posts: 4

Sudsman, please let me write another Part of your beautiful poem.

My eyes are falling down like my tears. The bread of love is growing out of my ears. My mouth is going to say yes my breath maybe but nevertheless it is just me.

-next one please.

cheers,
Tinti

Guest

I just replied to a mugu email with lyrics from "How soon is now" by The Smiths Very Happy

.

Will be interesting to see what reply I get Very Happy

.

Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2004 1:18 pm

Well, I got my answer. After responding to this buttnugget with the lyrics to "I Am the Walrus," I get this reply:

Quote:

Dear Friend,
Thank you for your swift response.I want you to be rest assured that all modalities to ensure a hitch-free transfer has been taken care of.If only you abide by my instructions, we would effect the transfer in just few banking days.However, you have to give me strong assurances about the safety of the money when it hits your account.I hope you are not going to disappoint me.I am 47 years of age,married and blessed with four children.I command respect and admiration from my colleagues in the banking sector.so my reputation is most important to me.I am a man of integrity,my word is my bond and I don't break it for nobody.
The truth is this, the fact that you do not know me would create some doubt in you.Nevertheless, you are being contacted because Mr. Bunke Sean , the real owner of the account was a foreigner and since he died nobody has come to claim his money.I know that the management of my bank is ready to release the money to any foreigner who can provide true information about the account of Mr. Bunke Sean .I have these
information and I shall give them to you as we move forward.The transfer will be risk-free because I am there as an insider to ensure that everything move according to plans.All that you will have to do is to assume the position of the beneficially when I have succeded in effecting the approval.Right now I am working on getting the Anti Terror Certificate as well as the Drug Clearance Certificate to cover the transfer because opf the huge amount involved so that it would not attract attention from the authorities.I believe you are mature to do this business with me,hence I will not like a third party to make decision about this fund because of my position in the bank.
Meanwhile,send to me your bank account information or any account of your choice where I can transfer this money,you can open a new account if you so wish.Send also your full names and residential address to enable the probate lawyer that I will contact start the process of getting the Letter of Administration which is the important legal document that will give you legal tittle to Mr.Sean's account since he did not leave a will.As soon as get the information I requested from you,I will send to you a sample application with the bank contact address which you will send to the bank requesting that the money be transferred to your nominated account .I shall use my position to facilitate and monitor the transfer.Soon after the transfer is effected I would travel to your country for sharing.
Meanwhile, call me on my personal telephone numbers above for better familiality and
clarifications.Send to me your personal Telephone numbers so that I can call you as well.This is my more secured mailbox [email protected] this address for all your correspondenses.
I await your call asap.
With warmest regards
Abba

Are you shittin' me? Very Happy

Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2004 1:42 pm

One of the hoardes of Miriam Abacha's out there was the greatful recipient a little while ago of Weird Al Yankovich's Eat It (sung to the tune of Michael Jackson's Beat It), b*tch didn't respond.

Quote:

How come you're always such a fussy young man
Don't want no Captain Crunch, don't want no Raison Bran
Well, don't you know that other kids are starving in Japan
So eat it, just eat it

Don't want to argue, I don't want to debate
Don't want to hear about what kind of food you hate
You won't get no dessert 'till you clean off your plate
So eat it

Don't you tell me you're full
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
Get yourself an egg and beat it
Have some more chicken, have some more pie
It doesn't matter if it's boiled or fried
Just eat it, eat it, just eat it, eat it
Just eat it, eat it, just eat it, eat it, ooh

Your table manners are some cryin' shame
You're playin' with your food, this ain't some kind of game
Now, if you starve to death, you'll just have yourself to blame
So eat it, just eat it

You better listen, better do what you're told
You haven't even touched your tuna casserole
You better chow down or it's gonna get cold
So eat it

I don't care if you're full
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
Open up your mouth and feed it
Have some more yogurt, have some more spam
It doesn't matter it it's fresh or canned
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
Don't you make me repeat it
Have a banana, have a whole bunch
It doesn't matter what you had for lunch
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
Eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it

Eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
If it's gettin' cold, reheat it
Have a big dinner, have a light snack
If you don't like it, you can't send it back
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
Get yourself an egg and beat it (oh lord)
Have some more chicken, have some more pie
It doesn't matter if it's boiled or fried
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
Don't you make me repeat it (oh no)
Have a banana, have a whole bunch
It doesn't matter what you had for lunch
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it

Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2004 1:52 pm

I have a feeling "Abba" will next get a reply that has something to do with a Dancing Queen. Smile

Guest

How about "Money, Money, Money"?

Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2004 2:58 pm

Sudsman, that's great! I'm going to send my next mugu the lyrics of Beck's Loser (possibly a contender for the maddest song lyric ever!). http://www.xhtmlcoder.com/beck/loser.xht. In fact, the chorus could be changed to "I'm a scammer baby, so why don't you bait me?" to make a nice baiter's anthem!

J

Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2004 5:33 pm

Let's see how he likes this:

Quote:

Dear Abba,

Your words give me confidence. As a test, I replied to your first email with a transcript of the Prayer of the Holy Walrus, and you did not attack me for what many people think are strange beliefs. I thank you for not persecuting me.

The truth is, Abba, that I and a good number of brothers are followers of this faith, but are looked upon with disdain by some of our Christian friends who do not believe as we do that a lost volume of the Bible was found in a Norwegian fjord by Charles Dodgson in the year 1865. The books reveal, among other things, that the Walrus was the only one of God's creatures not collected by Noah in the Book of Genesis. The Walrus survived the great floods unleashed by God to cleanse the world of sin, and because it did not perish we know it to live by the special grace of God. A passage in the book even reveals the close relationship between the Walrus and Jesus, whom we all know was a carpenter:

The Walrus and the Carpenter
Were walking close at hand;
They wept like anything to see
Such quantities of sand:
"If this were only cleared away,"
They said, "it would be grand!"

"If seven maids with seven mops
Swept it for half a year,
Do you suppose," the Walrus said,
"That they could get it clear?"
"I doubt it," said the Carpenter,
And shed a bitter tear.

-- The Book of Jabberwock, Ch. 23, v. 4-5

Perhaps you have heard of our faith. Your name, in fact, is found in our Scripture in the story of ABBA, the beautiful Dancing Queen of Sweden who turned into a mermaid and swam away with a Walrus to populate the North.

I have a good feeling about this business relationship, Abba. I will contact my superior, Father Guido Sarducci, about disclosing our banking information. I know that our church can do much good with that huge amount of money, including saving so many souls in your part of the world who have yet to know about salvation through the Holy Walrus. However, I regret that I cannot give you my phone number because I do not have one. We Brothers of the Holy Walrus have taken a vow of silence like many Catholic monks do, for it is written in Verses 11 and 12:

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes -- and ships -- and sealing-wax --
Of cabbages -- and kings --
And why the sea is boiling hot --
And whether pigs have wings."

"But wait a bit," the Oysters cried,
"Before we have our chat;
For some of us are out of breath,
And all of us are fat!"
"No hurry!" said the Carpenter.
They thanked him much for that.

The Carpenter (Jesus) tells us specifically not to hurry into conversation; accordingly, we brothers have no telephone or radio; we communicate silently via email.

Please advise me as to the modalities of conducting this transaction, and I will relay the words of Father Guido. First you must advise me of your willingness to work with our church, as there are those in the world who persecute us.

Goo goo g'joob,

Brother Hannibal Lecter
Church of the Holy Walrus

Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2004 7:24 pm

Sudsman, you are a genius.

I wonder what would happen if I sent one of the lads some Fela Kuti lyrics? Since the lyrics would be in Pidgin and/or Yoruba, there might be some entertaining responses...

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