Have you ever offended someone without meaning to?

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Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 4:25 am

I've been told that sometimes, due to something in my writing style which I apparently don't notice, people think that for some reason I am offended or I'm being brusque, when I myself am not, nor am I trying to sound brusque. Quite often when this happens, I had no idea people were taking what I was writing the wrong way, and getting their feelings hurt. I personally don't realize when I'm giving off that impression until some people say stuff like, "I didn't mean to offend you" and I have no idea that they thought I was offended.

Has anyone else been in a situation when you just didn't realize how you sounded and wound up making someone think you were mad at them when you weren't, or something like that?

Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 4:27 am

I can't believe you would write something like that. I'm giving you a warning.

Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 4:43 am

Boy did I walk into THAT one. Rolling Eyes

Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 4:46 am

Unfortunately, I can't find the button that slaps "WARNED" on you. I could suspend you, but that might be taking the joke a bit too far.

Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 5:15 am

uh, I'm not sure but I might have done it to you.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Since there is no tone of voice in type. . . . just overuse the happy emoticons like I do. Very Happy

Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 7:24 am

Sometimes (sighs wearily and rolls eyeballs) I find (tut's loudly) that I sometimes (mutters under breath: for fuck's sake) give people that impression too.

Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 7:38 am

Welcome to the club, mate. Keep up the good work and remember our secret handshake! Laughing

Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 10:01 am

FAT OLD CAT, you ... you .... you .... &*^%$**(&&*(

Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 10:12 am

You're all ba$7ards...

Sorry, what was this thread about?

Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 10:20 am

As long as they know you're in charge, why even worry about the opinions of those beneath you?

Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 10:46 am

That's what emoticon's were invented for. Laughing

Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 10:57 am

I have deleted, edited, overused emoticons, mods delete, mods fix (thanks Wink

) and you are as norm as myself. Shocked

I think I've said it before that I need all the help that I can get. Wink

That's what I like about this facility. The Docs and nurses have always been so nice about it. Smile

I now slap lads and have learned to be a better person with everyone else.

I have always liked me, now I love me. Laughing

Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 11:13 am

Quote:

"Fat Old Cattmy writing style which I apparently don't notice, people think that for some reason I am offended or I'm being brusque,

Well I find that when I need to get the point across;

WRITING ALL IN CAPS IS A VERY VERY VERY GOOD WAY TO CONVOY THE PURPORT OF MISSIVES.

Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 12:30 pm

Quote:

Has anyone else been in a situation when you just didn't realize how you sounded and wound up making someone think you were mad at them when you weren't, or something like that?

Yes, twice.

Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 1:18 pm

coronalight wrote:

you are as norm as myself. Shocked

Gods, Help Us. Wink

Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 1:46 pm

^^ indeed!

Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 2:13 pm

It sometimes depends on your normal warmness/fuzziness levels and who you're dealing with, I find. For example, most of the people in my department tend to be very warm and fuzzy and friendly, even when we say "no" to people. We often apologize and take the time to explain why we can't do something, or offer an altrnative, even when saying no to incredibly stupid requests. By contrast, our network guy is a bit more to the point and less apologetic. He's in no way rude or brusque, yet, some people will interpret that as him "biting their head off". Mind, there's one lady here who seems determined to be offended by all of us regardless of what we do or say. She calls me to relay messages to the network guy...

I once wrote her a very lengthy email explaining, in detail, why I could easily fix one problem she reported myself, but not a similar one, which involved Support for the product. Why? Because, silly me, I thought she actually wanted to know, since she asked me why I could fix one, not the other. She interpreted the fact that I had answered her question in detail as me being offended, rather than me being a fast typist and very detail oriented in troubleshooting mode. I guess the question was rhetorical or something...

Try being less brief. Or sign all your emails with "Hugs 'n' kisses".

** SUSPENDED ** Joined: 26 Mar 2005 Posts: 1267

Yes, many times.. In real life and on forums. You catch someone having a bad day and you're going to pay for it Wink

. You can also say something, while looking at the person, and you can see their eye brows instantly go up like it offends them.. So that's when you quickly change the subject to porn.

The other way around too, sometimes I say something rude, and everyone thinks I'm joking (real life, and forums).

Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 3:00 pm

I can honestly say that I have NEVER offended anyone.................

Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 4:28 pm

^^^^ me neither. At least not within the past few minutes.

Although I really offended someone on Friday morning. He deserved it, plus it gave him an excuse to drink more heavily on Friday night.

I do have to say that I'm pretty offended that the topic has even come up.

419Eater Admin Joined: 30 Sep 2003 Posts: 7469

I offend a lot of people by simply breathing Wink

Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 6:03 pm

I know the problem, FOC, and have done the same, equally unawares. My writing style can switch into formal/business mode sometimes, and that can agitate people or give the wrong impression. Sad

I think that there's a cultural thing at play here as well. Whilst I don't want to generalise too much, us Brits tend to be a little more reserved than our American cousins. There's a risk that Brits may sound somewhat flat next to more fulsome expressions of praise or congratulations from the US people, when we are as impressed as them, but post about it differently. Smile

Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 6:04 pm

Nope, I've always offended people on purpose.

** SUSPENDED ** Joined: 26 Mar 2005 Posts: 1267

@Eight - such as the british calling me a wanker? Doesn't that mean that I am doing an awesome job at wanking (does that mean writing?)

Yes, I actually know what the term wanker means.. damn it!

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