The gardening thread

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Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Don't use mothballs around veggies. . . mothballs are toxic. (Plus, all those poor moths Sad

)

Posted: Fri May 25, 2007 10:14 am

Rabbits? Pish-posh -- I have a problem with monkeys in my garden. Talk about destroying a lettuce patch (or tomatoes, peas, zucchini, green peppers, leeks, whatever). Nothing is safe when that troupe comes through! I tried a scarecrow (named Max) for a while, but he didn�t work very well. Kind of a lazy bugger I guess... what I really need is a dog. Or a shotgun!

Anyway, good luck with your bunnies, Lotta. If your garden isn�t very large, you may just want to put up a chicken wire fence. Burry some of the wire underground to (try and) keep them from burrowing through.

Posted: Fri May 25, 2007 12:53 pm

lotta wrote:

Now I'm terrified of them having babies.

Couldn't you just pass out some little bunny condoms?

Posted: Fri May 25, 2007 5:12 pm

It's very large Mr Green and impossible to secure completely. Sad

I do have an area fenced off but it's quite accesible to the critters.

I'm going to try the blood meal. The blood meal works really well with the deer so I'm hoping the little vegetarian bunnies will dislike it as much.

I'll get hold of fox urine too.
I guess that's why they're hanging out in my gardening area.....to be safe from the fox Sad

Thanks everybody.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

You're welcome Lotta!

PS. Plant a big clover patch somewhere else in the yard to distract them.

Posted: Fri May 25, 2007 7:42 pm

lotta wrote:

... I'll get hold of fox urine too. ...

Pictures!

I want to see pictures of that. Laughing

How are you going to get him to hold still?

Posted: Sat May 26, 2007 12:24 am

Pfffft....easy.

Quote:

1. Collect fox.

2. Fox should be kept in a cage, preferably a mesh wire compound that allows for air movement and access on all angles by the caregiver (you).

3. Soothe fox. Cooing is suggested.

4. Take a water bottle, remove its top and, being careful not to scare the fox, attach it to the fox so the fox's ding-a-ling is within the bottle. (If the fox is female, it is easiest to wrap her hindquarters in a plastic baggie. If at all possible, collect a male fox, as their urine is particularly repulsive to chipmunks. Female foxes are more understanding of chipmunk insecurity issues, while the males simply don't give a damn, thinking the chipmunks are plump and delicious. Plus, it's more fun to stick a water bottle on a fox than a baggie. Love the challenge.) How you attach the bottle to the fox is up to you, but Fairbanks advocated moose hide straps belted around the midsection. Velcro is probably a viable solution.

5. Give the fox a minute, as it will be pissed.

6. Tempt fox with salty snacks. French fries are good.

7. Tell the fox you know this sucks. Foxes appreciate empathy, and it will lessen the likelihood that the fox will try to rip all the flesh from your hands.

8. Ask the fox: "Do you like Diet Coke? Because I love it. Boy, oh, boy. It is so tasty." (Fairbanks advocates the importance of really selling the Diet Coke. Get into it. Smack your lips. Go to town.)

9. Fill water bottle with Diet Coke. Offer the fox Diet Coke.

10. If fox refuses, tell it to drink the damn Diet Coke. Use the phrase, "I'm serious." This will work. (The technique is less effective with squirrels, who tend to be more easily frightened and spontaneously combust when threatened, thus the above-mentioned mortality rate.)

11. Start playing waterfall sounds. Fountains are good. Rivers. Rushing water. Trickling is what we are looking for here.

12. Wait, like, three seconds.

13. When urination is induced, help the fox preserve its dignity and avert your eyes.

14. Tap the fox on the rump to make sure it's all out. (Fairbanks advises that both the gray and the yellow fox are poor "finishers" and will often start again after you think they are finished. As this can get messy, make sure your fox is tapped out.) If unsure, give the hips a light squeeze between your thumb and index finger.

15. Remove bottle.

16. Pat fox on head.

17. Pour fox pee around garden.

18. Release fox in someone else's yard.

19. Run.

20. No, I mean really run. Faster.

Posted: Sat May 26, 2007 12:33 am

^^^^

Video! We want video of you trying that!

Posted: Sat May 26, 2007 12:38 am

KD, I had a couple of those containers while recovering from getting my old hips chopped out! Had a couple of "Foxy" nurses too.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

I'd settle for a soundbite of Lotta shouting, "Drink the damn Diet Coke!" Laughing

Posted: Sat May 26, 2007 12:46 am

@ Lotta.. In my younger years I was an avid gardener and a friend of mine presented me with a thought provoking book of old English sayings concerning gardening and growing things in general. If I can locate it I will send it to you. I don't garden anymore as a matter of fact I even hire a neighbourhood kid to cut the lawn..One of the sayings I recall is."The garden grows best that grows under the gardner's shadow." If you think about it you will see the wisdom. Cool