Embezzlement! -- 5/22 Update

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Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

I've dragged my church-going lads through the muck and back (see my signature for some of the things they've been through) and to be honest, I was running out of steam. Then I got this pleading email which set my creative juices running:

Quote:

Hallo my Godfather Pastor Lea, quite a long time now that we have not heard from you Pastor Lea, hopefully that all things is moving alright over there, Pastor your sons have come to talk to you as their father! Pastor we are asking if it is alright that after all our participation in the church but we are not having our right in our position yet, Pastor listen we have done everything and have a lot of commitments concealing about the place where we want to keep the chamber of Barchetta Rouge, Pastor we pay two months rent for this place and the two months is about to finish but we have not been granted money in our position. And Pastor this people is planning to teak this office back! (they had sent me marked-up pictures of the office space which were quite lovely) Because we don�t have the money to pay for this place again Pastor we did open our heath fully to serve LIFESON and to dowel in HIS name, because we wanted to look deferent from other unbelievers in the world but now we don�t know what is going on over,

Pastor Zaurin our chairman in Faith Grant money sent to me an email last weekend if I am not mistaken and says to me that the money is ready to be sent but still now the money is not being sent to us.

Godfather Pastor Lea we are seeking for your help to find out what is the problem please Sir.

Thanks yours faithful sons Henry and Chigozie.

IN HIS NAME.

Oh dear. We really have been remiss, haven't we? Well, Pastor Lea went looking for Pastor Zaurin to find out what was the matter and lo and behold, Pastor Zaurin is gone! And he took the money with him! Pastor Lea had to sadly report back to his loyal church members:

Quote:

My brothers Henry and Chigozie,

It is a very sad day right now with our Church. It appears that Pastor Zaurin, whom you have known so well over these past several months, has absconded with the majority of our funds. He went missing on Saturday and after an exhaustive search, we have determined that he has stolen our Church money. We think he has gotten away with over $320,000 of our members' monies.

Frankly right now, we only have $8,000 left to cover our operations, which will not likely last us the next few weeks. We are very sorry to hear of your problems with the office but right now we are not in a position to provide any assurances as to the monies.

We have contacted the authorities and they are looking into the matter and trying to locate Pastor Zaurin. If you should hear from him, kindly let me know.

IN HIS NAME,

Pastor Lea

I hope that office space wasn't too costly.... Wink

Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 5:47 pm

Well, maybe Pastor Zaurin should contact them and say that he became disillisioned with the church's heathen ways and took their money to start a NEW church, and if they'd like to join with him (and receive some of the stolen booty), they must follow certain rituals to cleanse themselves to start anew...

Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 5:52 pm

Brilliant and somehow tragic... The one thing I have learned to love more than any other on here is a chopped dollar. pip pip housefly

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

I'm either going to enlist them in a new church or have them go undercover to find Pastor Zaurin whom our sources tell us fled to Africa.... Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 6:00 pm

NICE

Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 6:03 pm

Perhaps to keep this thing going, Pastor Zaurin can show up somewhere in West Africa (not the same country that the lad is in) and request that the lad meet in person with you. Since you will not be in the same country as the lad, you will not be able to wire him any money due to the very real and very strict monetary laws that prevent money from being wired out of the country. Payday will seem right around the corner and then, poof, up in smoke.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

Slight Necro, but bear with me.

Anyway, I set up a schism in my Church. On the one hand you have Pastor who was in charge of the Faith Grant monies, and on the other, the administration of the Church, led by Pastors and . As shown above, Pastor Lea believed that Pastor Z had stolen the money.

But Pastor Z was quick to inform his flock that it wasn't so. He wrote explaining that it was all a mix-up and that the differences would soon be settled. Unfortunately, that never came to fruition and I had to reach out to my African brothers to see if they could help:

Quote:

Dear XXXXXX,

Whatever you do, don't have any more communication with those frauds Lea and Sawwyer -- they are trying to RUIN the Church and HIS holy teachings. I am fed up with them and will no longer be participating in their mess.

Listen, I have almost $300,000 of the Church money that I need to keep safe. If you have any contacts in this regard, I would appreciate it. I'm getting worried carrying this much cash around. Do you know anyone in S. Africa who would be willing to store this money for me -- safely?? I can travel now -- it's probably best to get out of the country before the police start looking for me.

Thanks and IN HIS NAME,

Pastor Z

I was very much surprised that they so readily came to Pastor Z's aid:

Quote:

Hallo my Pastor Zaurin, thanks so mush for your effort and the information.

Regarding your request Sir, consigning how to keep the money safe!
1. If you need a Bank Account to transfer this money in to, you can use those my bank account information�s!
2. Or will you like me to come there and pick up the cash? Twisted Evil

3. Or can you go and sent the money true WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER whit
my passport information?
4. Or any other way you know that we can get away whit this safety, what I Henry can promise you is that this money will be safe. Ones we can make it to bring this money down here in South Africa.

This Account will contain $200,000
Bank Name: STANDARD CHARTERED BANK NEW YORK
Account Number: XXXXXXXXXXX
Swift Code: SCBLU533.
PAY TO
BENEFICIARY: HENRY XXXXXX
BENEFICIARY NUMBER: XXXXXXXX
Rennies Bank LTD.
Swift Code: XXXXXX.
JOHANNESBURG SOUTH AFRICA

This Account also will contain $100,000
FNB BANK
FIRST NATIONAL BANK JOHANNESBURG SOUTH AFRICA
ACCOUNT NAME : Mr. HENRY XXXXXXX
ACCOUNT NUMBER : 621 3499 XXXX
SWIFT CODE : XXXXXXX

Please kindly contact me immediately things are done.
I wish you well.

So, if I, I mean Pastor Z, plays his cards right, we'll not only get two bank accounts shut down (in addition to the two others I've shut down) but a safari as well.....oh me oh my. Wink

Posted: Tue May 22, 2007 2:46 pm

I will never play lad bingo against you, you'll get a full house before I've even got my coat off Very Happy

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

What's interesting is that my boyz are writing to Pastor Lea as well to find out information as to what he's doing. I'm informing them that the Church plans to go to the police in a day or two after having failed to resolve the crisis amicably and of course, should any church members hear from Pastor Z, to immediately contact the Church. I expect they will forward that information along to Pastor Z so that his funds aren't placed in any jeopardy before being transferred to S. Africa. Wink

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