Meeting of TWAT lads

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Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 2:50 am

having worked for the Samaritans for 10 years in the past I can understand how the subject of suicide can hurt and would in no way ever belittle the subject. In this case though I think it is only a pretty common form of emotional blackmail and people who threaten in this way rarely mean it. I'm sure the guy is in no danger of killing himself just cos a scam went bad.
Hope you're ok Pug, glad you were able to be there when you were needed and sorry for hijacking the thread as a newbie.
XX

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 5:40 am

Well back to baiting Laughing

You really let the mugu have it Laughing

Ican't wait to see who is he going to complain to. Laughing

Have the mugu send you photos of a few places where he plans to jump from. Laughing

You TWAT people treat the TWATees like shit Laughing

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 7:56 am

when are you going to re-bait him?

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 12:57 pm

^^^^^
Actually, we already are... this time as the "real" Rev. William U. Phystme. Laughing

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 1:08 pm

All I can say to that is, brilliant. Very Happy

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 1:24 pm

A letter from the suicidal TWAT to the "real" Rev. Phystme, explaining all that has happened to him.

Enjoy

Quote:

Dearest Rev,w Phystme,

Sorry for the delay in writting you as promised is due to the fact that i have been busy getting one or two things together.

this should be a mail to you and for the elders and the entire TWAT church.In the first instance i was introduce to the TWAT church by one Blessing akiga and i wrote to TWAT church and i was also introduced to Rev Dover by sister Anita and there and then we started exchanging mails and forms was sent to me by Rev Dover for me to fill and send back to them which i did, and it was satisfied ok by Rev Dover so later he told me that the elders of twat church said that i should build a pyramid of faith and before he asked me to build the pyramid he has already sent me some samples of the pyramid how it should,

Then i started building the pyramid which i completed after few days and i then took na photgraph as i was directed by Rev Dover with my two key members that i had already assembled for the TWAT church so after sending the picture through an attachment he then wrote and to me that the pyramid of faith is not yet full that i should add more bags which i did and took older pictures with the same people and this time it was comfermed satifactry.

then after comferming the pyramid of faith ok he now to me the elders said that i should perform a ceremony which he also sent me directives to follow and some of the things he told me to use such as TUNA OIL and TUNG OIL and THE STAFF which he said that i should tung very well Laughing

before uesing it for the ceremony and i did all he told me to do and he went ahead to tell me that i should do a vidoe coverage of the ceremony and send it accros to them through the TWAT church WEB SITE for the elders to review and doing that give me another though time you that Nigeria is a third world country,so i try all i could to send it through that way but it couldn't work so this time he said that i should use DHL to send it which i did at last with the address of one Mr [name removed to protect the innocent] whom he discribled to me as the TWAT church computer engineer i did all this and the recieved the VCD and later he told me the elders has reviewed it and he then congratulated me and sent a TWAT church certificate to me and said also that you( Rev phystme) is very happy with me for my achivement and that you promised to vist Nigeria during the opening ceremony of the TWAT church that is when the issue of my grant of building the church started,then he told me that i should go to Port Harcourt for my grant and the TWAT church altar which he also told me that it is the symbol of TWAT church all over the world, then i told my assistant that we travel to port harcourt to meet your head engineer whom he called micheal hunturt at prtea hotel but at the end of the day neither did we meet micheal nor Dover so i whent and wrote him concernining my exprience he then use your name to write me and pleaded with me that Rev Dover has been arrested pretending that you are the one writting and then ask me this time to Accra Ghana and the same exprience repeated it safe in Ghana,so i am waiting for your reply.

thanks and Good God bless you,

I hope you saw the certificate that i sent to you

Rev Isreal nnamdi
GOD BLESS TWAT

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 1:29 pm

All TWAT churches need a computer engineer. Hehe. I love it guys. Make him move again!

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 1:32 pm

^^^^
Since the "real" Phystme is in Chad at the moment, we think that can be arranged. If he was pissed about going to Port Harcourt and then to Accra, wait until he arrives in Chad, 1400 miles away in the middle of nowhere. Laughing

Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 3:45 pm

Tell him the pyramid's at the wrong angle to be declared proper. If he'd be willing to turn it 45 degrees or so... Very Happy

Not quite a Newb Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 37

Damn this lad is taking some punishment here.

Think he will ever try scamming after you lot are done with him? Their has to be some sort of law against this kind of thing... geeeez, cant wait for the next safari though Laughing

Elite Baiter Joined: 03 Jan 2006 Posts: 1455

Puir laddy. Puir wee laddy.

Posted: Fri May 18, 2007 1:39 pm

Another gem from our suicidal lad. Laughing

Quote:

DEAREST IDIOT,

THANKS FOR YOUR CORRECTIONS,BUT I WILL STILL TELL YOU THAT,THE NAME YOU CALLED ME I IS NOT WHAT I AM I WHENT TO SCHOOL IT THIS JUST THAT I MADE A MISTAKE,MY ANIMAL FRIEND DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE?MAY BE YOU CAN FIND WHAT YOU CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED IN THE BIBLE BOOK OF REVELATION 13 V 15,IN THAT CHAPETER COMFERMED YOU AS A WILD BEAST,AND ALSO REV,12 V 9 ALSO DISCRIBED AS THE DRAGON AND SAPENT.

NOW IN YOUR MAIL YOU MADE MENTION OF SCAMMING OR WHAT EVER YOU CALL IT,I AM NOT A SCAMMER OR A THIFE LIKE YOU,HOW DO YOU THINK THAT I AM A SCAMMER I THEN GAVE YOU MY HOUSE ADDRESS WHERE I AM LIVING WITH MY FAMILY AND MY PICTURES,DO YOU THINK I AM HUNGRY LIKE YOU, I AM A LANDLORD AT MY AGE,BIG FOOL

I RECORGINIZED YOU AS THE SON OFA BITCH AND UNCIVILIZED HUMAN BEING,YOU ARE A GOAT I MEAN HE GOAT

A FOOL AT SEVENTY NOT FOURTY THIS TIME,

REGARDS ANIMAL

FULK YOU

Posted: Fri May 18, 2007 1:52 pm

Quote:

I RECORGINIZED YOU AS THE SON OFA BITCH AND UNCIVILIZED HUMAN BEING,YOU ARE A GOAT I MEAN HE GOAT

Awesome!!! Laughing

Posted: Fri May 18, 2007 3:00 pm

BWHAHAHAHAAHA!!!! That is perfect!

Posted: Fri May 18, 2007 9:27 pm

Quote:

COMFERMED YOU AS A WILD BEAST,AND ALSO REV,12 V 9 ALSO DISCRIBED AS THE DRAGON AND SAPENT.

You're a wild beast dragon serpent ! - that's high praise indeed. He's possessed by the Devil if he tries to insult you and ends up with such an awesome compliment. Laughing

Posted: Fri May 18, 2007 9:46 pm

Suicidal Lad wrote:

...I AM A LANDLORD AT MY AGE

YW - you may have actually snared a lad a little bit higher up the food chain.

I wouldn't be too sympathetic. No mention of any impending suicide in his email to the Reverent Phystme either.

Posted: Fri May 18, 2007 9:54 pm

viereinsneun wrote:

Suicidal Lad wrote:

...I AM A LANDLORD AT MY AGE

YW - you may have actually snared a lad a little bit higher up the food chain.

What I think the TWAT might have meant was that he didn't have to share his cardboard box with anybody.

Posted: Sat May 19, 2007 12:07 am

Quote:

FULK YOU

and thank you

Posted: Tue May 22, 2007 6:28 pm

The "real" Rev. Phystme has invited the suicide lad to come and visit him in Oure Cassoni, Chad.

Quote:

Dear Israel,

It sounds like you have been through quite an ordeal with Rev. Dover. Sadly, Rev. Dover is no longer a trusted member of our church. It would seem that he has had some dealings with some people who have corrupted him. While we continue to pray for him, we can no longer call him one of our own.

As for your status with TWAT, it sounds like you have done all that would ordinarily be required of a new recruit, including the construction of your Monument of Faith.

There is one thing that confuses me however. It sounded as if you were telling me that you were ordained as a TWAT minister and even presented with a document that bares my signature. I am sorry to tell you that one can only be ordained by me. Every TWAT minister has been ordained by me. I am really upset about how you have been misled. I hope that you realize that this has never happened before as far as I know.

I think that one of the reasons that this could have happened without my knowledge is because I am away from the Church, here in Oure Cassoni, Chad, performing my required humanitarian work. Every TWAT minister, including me, is required to perform 4 months of humanitarian work each calendar year.

I have thought about this for some time now and believe that I have found a solution that can serve the Lord and everyone involved. As I understand it, you are in Africa, Nigeria to be exact, am I right about this? As you know, Nigeria is a short trip to Oure Cassoni. I can ordain you here in Oure Cassoni. It is the least that I can do for you.

There is also one other matter that you might be able to help us with. An American computer company has made a sizable donation to ease the suffering of the Sudanese refugees here. While it is a very generous donation, it has been given to us in the form of US cash, over $200,000.00 to be exact. In ordinary circumstances, this would be great. But out here, this money does little good, and in fact, has become a rather big security risk for me. And the closest bank is 3 days away from here. Out here, people have been killed over bottled water. If anyone knew that this money was sitting in my tent, it could cause a riot.

I even considered breaking our Church rules by asking non-members, in this case the United Nations personnel here, to help with this. That would not work though. They are not allowed to get involved with a Christian organization while in a Muslim country. That could cause more trouble for them and the people that they are here to protect. So, my idea is this. After you are ordained by me, you will return to Nigeria with this money and forward it back to TWAT in the United States. This way, no church rules are broken and the United Nations does not have to worry about offending our Muslim hosts.

I pray that the Holy Spirit guides your heart to this just and righteous course of action. I await your response.

Blessings,

Rev. Will U. Phystme

Posted: Tue May 22, 2007 7:02 pm

I think he should be offered a scholarship to continue his education so there will be no more things such as" fulk you"-i am ashamed that no one has tried to get this lad to upgrade his spelling you should take him under your wing instead of laughing at the poor miscreant Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue May 22, 2007 8:40 pm

I hope that since the fine Reverend is being so gracious in offering to ordain the lad, he will reciprocate with the very small favor of taking care of the money. It's certainly an minor imposition but any dedicated TWAT should be willing to undertake the trouble to further the cause.

This is just freaking brilliant! Laughing

Posted: Tue May 29, 2007 2:32 pm

Just curious as to whether there has been any more action lately from our esteemed clerics. Did they twig? Are they not communicating any more? Did you talk 'em into another safari? Enquiring minds want to know!
Smile

Posted: Tue May 29, 2007 2:47 pm

The TWATs are stick licking their wounds from the last couple of safaris that they were on. We are still waiting to hear from the suicide lad regarding our latest, generous offer.

Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 1:53 pm

NEWS FLASH!!! A lad has found some brains!

No. We are not kidding. The suicide lad has finally figured out that he has been played. We were not sure if he would ever figure that out but appearantly the Lord works in mysterious ways.

After we sent him the generous offer to come and visit us on the Chad/Sudan border, he sends us this...

Quote:

DEAR P WILLIAM,

THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL,AND I HAVE GONE BACK TO PRIVOUS MASSEGE AND I HAVE READ AND UNDERSTAND THAT WHAT YOU MEAN,AND THIS MADE ME TO UNDERSTAND THAT I AM STILL HAVING CONTACT WITH THE FORMAL PEOPLE, (No shit? Really? You mean to tell us that you are not talking to the REAL Will U. Phystme?)

REV, TO MY OWN UDERSTANDING IN THE WEB SITE THAT I SAW YOU MAKE $I,000,000,00 EVRY WEEK FROM YOUR CHURCH AND NOW YOU WANT ME TO COME AND HELP YOU TAKE $200,000,00 TO NIGERIA AFTER WHICH I CAN TRANSFER IT INTO YOUR OWN COUNTRY,I THINK THAT IS A BIG JOOK, (No. We are not jooking... honest)

SO PLEASE I HAVE FIND OUT THAT TWAT CHURCH WEB SITE WAS CREATED FOR THE PURPOSS OF SCAMMING AND DEFROUDING PEOPEL WITH GOOD FAITH,

WITH THIS I WANT TO QUITE AND I AM MOVING NOW FROM HERE TO DISTROY THE PYRAMID OF FAITH WHICH I BUILD FOR TWAT AND I THANK YOU FOR THE ENLIGTMENT, (nooooooooooooooooooo! leave it there long enough for Google Earth to pick it up)

MAY BE I WE DO MY HOME WORK TO MAKE SURE THAT I CREAT A WEB SITE TO SHOW PEOPLE,SO THAT THE WE BE AWAY OF THIS TYPE OF SCAMMING SO NOT TO BE A VICTEM LIKE ME

THANKS AND MAYGOD ALMIHGT KEEP EVEY BODY ALIVE
ISREAL NNAMDI

BYE FOR NOW

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

HAHA, what's he going to call his website www.a-twat.org Laughing

, I'm sure you can draw him back in mate.