George Bush & the Village People

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Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

I have sent my lad a reply, letting him think that my posotion as the president got the goods released after I had words with someone else in a position of power, it's really great being the president Laughing

, I worded it like I was doing him a big favour so that he wouldn't get arrested if the shipment was returned to Nigeria, it's sure to endear me to him even more now that i have gone out of my way to help him out Very Happy

Quote:

Dear xxxxx xxxxx,

xxxxx, I was very worried about the being returned to you in Nigeria, and the possible consequences you might face if questions were asked when you went go collect it from FedEx, I suppose there might have been a chance that you could have been arrested over it, so, with your personal safety in mind, I had a little chat with a close friend of mine who I placed in charge of the Homeland Security Department, in turn, he had words with FedEx executives in the US, and told them that the shipment was to be released immediately as the goods were for a close personal friend of the President, as a result of that, the shipment was released from customs at Memphis straight away, and express delivered to it's destination.

As you know from my previous email, Chris Gxxxxxxx was not there to receive the shipment due to his mother being ill, but I contacted him and told him delivery was imminent, he contacted his company and told them to expect it, he asked them to take photos of the after unpacking the items, and he has sent the photos to me via email.

xxxxx, whilst the banner is a nice material and well made, the spacing of the letters on it is absolutely atrocious, let me give you 2 examples, on the first line, it says:

On the second line it says:

As I told you before, the lettering in each line of text should not have gone acrosss all three colours of the banner like it was done, each line of lettering should be on one background colour only, I have sent you a simple diagram as an attachment to show you the way it is meant to be done.

Well, the look mighty fine, it will make a great addition to my collection, I will give it pride of place, thank you very much for sending it to me.

Sincerely,

Gxxxxx W Bxxx.

I sent him this as the example of how the new banner should be done:

Posted: Tue May 01, 2007 5:48 pm

Hello, its picky me again
Shouldn't pain be Pain? with a capital P?

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

^^^^^ Sheeeeeesh, I looked at it about 10 times before I sent it and still didn't spot it, must be the yellow text on white background that threw me, I have sent him an email to make sure he knows it has to be a capital P, although any idiot shoud be able to tell every word on the banner begins with a capital letter, cheers.

Posted: Tue May 01, 2007 7:00 pm

Fantastic! Very Happy

SP, you should get a blown glass display head for the beret.

Posted: Tue May 01, 2007 7:34 pm

Brilliant guys. R8, did you by any chance record the conversation with the FedEx people? Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

My lad has replied, he seems very relieved that I received the banner and police beret/badge today, I knew that would put him in a good mood, but I had to laugh when he said "I can not but stand up in the cafe and did some dancing while people were just looking at me as if I have bats in the belfring" Laughing

Some of the church choir members appear to be getting restless because of the delays with the producer being in a coma, they are sure to start revolting against him completely soon I reckon

, and he confirms he is going to make the new banner for Reprob8

Quote:

Subject: IN GOD WE TRUST!

Your Excellency,

Thank you very very much for your mail.

At least, I am now a very happy man. You have my safety in mind! What have been coming to my mind all these while is, 'what will be my answer when asked about the police cap and badge?' It has been giving me, and the choirmaster, a great concern. I came in now to reply your mail and saw the second mail. After going through it, I can not but stand up in the cafe and did some dancing while people were just looking at me as if I have bats in the belfring! I thank you so much. May God bless you. I have seen the correction you made for the banner. Actaully, the mistake was due to the positioning of the colours. Now, I am going to give a wonderful proffessional job.

However, I have learnt some things again in sending packages that demands customs duties. Although I was just being factual with the quotations but, that is not the issue for now. In Nigeria here, things are really expensive. However, I am looking forward now, never backwards!

Sir, one thing is now bugging my mind: The producer's ill health! As it stands now, when will we be coming over to the US? One thing that has eat deep into the bone marrows of all Nigerians is that they are very impatient. Some members of the choir have droped from the crew/rehearsal. They want something that is on the fast lane. As it stands now, I will have to reduce the number even further ...that is, those who are not serious with the rehearsals. They would not come for rehearsals but they are waiting eagerly for the day they would be traveling to the US without working hard for it. My choirmaster has already sent two people away from the group. Thus, by the time we are very much ready, I will send you the actual number from the list who will eventually make the trip. So, to make me put things in the best of places, how soon are we traveling?

Furthermore, do we prepare for the air ticket ourselves? Do we also prepare to take care of our welbeing in the US? I know, with your benevolent heart, you will facilitate the visa in the embassy over here. I need to know all these so that I will inform the members to get themselves prepared too.

May the good Lord continue to protect you from the hands of your enemies. You will continue to be the winner and they, your enemies, will continue to be the losers. You are a true Leader... you have my safety in mind! Me of all people!!! The Lord God will have you in mind all the days of your life! AMEN! You have made my day!

Till I hear from you.

Yours sincerely,

xxxxx xxxxx.

NB: I GOT THE LAST CORRECTION ON THE BANNER!

[edit]

My lad has also emailed my newly introduced character, the producers secretary Very Happy

, now to see how true he is to his fiancee in the choir Twisted Evil

, I have a great set of photos from dressed secretary to fully naked and stuff, I think he will love Brandie Wink

:

Quote:

Dear ,

You have seen me, heard my voice over the microphones, watched me in the videos, but, have not seen me phisically. My names are xxxxx xxxxx. You may leave my last name for writings only. You can call me xxxxx if you wish. You may be wondering how I got your email address or it may not be a surprise at all. I sent your boss some video tapes and CDes in which I performed the Y.M.C.A song. Yeah! That's me.

I am writing to ask after the welbeing of your boss, Mr Lxxxxx Vxxxxxxxxx. Mr President has told me how he underwent the second operation. I thank the Almighty God for keeping him safe uptill now. I have been praying for him. I do not know if you are prayerful.

We Africans are very religious. All that know him ought to pray for his welbeing; for his getting well as soon as possible. I wish him the best of hospitality on that sick bed. Please, I would wish you tell me more of his condition. I will be mailing you very often to have updates of his conditions. Send my ''GET WELL SOON'' message across to him. His welbeing is my concern.

I was told you are a real 'mother' and a beauty! Take care/control of yourself/ everything. One day, I pray, we shall see in person so that I will thank you for the good job you have been doing all these while and
always.

I hope to hear from you as soon as possible. Take good care of yourself.

Yours sincerely,

xxxxx xxxxx.

Posted: Tue May 01, 2007 10:50 pm

Oh, this is going to be a hard, hard fall from the peaks when he finally twigs! Laughing

And he's going to have some serious 'splaining to do to his friends....

Something tells me you'll be angling for Brandie to obtain a few naked pics from him to throw a few tons of salt into the wound. Very Happy

Fantastic, fabulous job. I love this bait!

EDIT: Love this line -- the essence of lad thinking:

SP's lad wrote:

waiting eagerly for the day they would be traveling to the US without working hard for it.

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

^^^^^ Yeah, Juan, he's heading for a train wreck Twisted Evil

Brandie has sent him an email, now lets see if he admits to having a fiancee or not, will he be loyal to his wife to be, or will he be a bastard, hope I didn't come on too strong for the first email, hmmmm Smile

:

Quote:

Hi xxxxx,

How cool to hear from you, I'm like, wow, those ymca songs and videos you made were sooooo cool, which one were you in the video, please tell me you were the policeman, I was told that might be you, is it? I hope that was you, I kinda have a big crush on you, you didn't know that but you do now, hope I didn't embarass you by saying that?

You look very tall in the video, how tall are you? I just love big men, the bigger the better, you know what they say about big men don't you Wink

, and I have a big thing for big African men, oh yes siree, I do, I have been out with 3 African men before in the US, and oh my god, such bliss the way they love a woman, I just can't get enough of African men, can we meet up and go out for the night together when you come to the US? I really would like to get to know you on a personal level if you know what I mean, but you don't even know what I look like yet, I'll send you my photo with this reply, I hope you like the look of me because I adore you in the video and I love your voice Smile

Lxxxxx is still in a coma after the other operation and is under heavy medication, it's been a real tough time for everyone close to him, thank you for praying for him, I know he would appreciate you doing that because he is a christian man like you. You can email me as often as you like and I will update you about how he is doing, we have to keep our fingers crossed that he gets well soon, the doctors scanned him again today and said that although he is still in a coma, they can't find any traces of brain damage, that's great news.

I have to go and get some beauty sleep now, it's just after midnight in the UK, night night babe, you really are a fine looking man, i ant to get close to you, see my photo with my email, take care for now my love.

Oh no, I almost forgot, please tell me you are single and not married, you just have to be single and available for me, I would be heartbroken if you already had a girlfriend!!!!!

Brandie

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

I attached this photo from the set I have, this is me, surely he must like me Very Happy

:

Posted: Wed May 02, 2007 1:04 am

Quote:

do we prepare for the air ticket ourselves

.. you wouldn't.. would you? Shocked

Master Baiter Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 101

Coordination and costume design for Africas greatest randition of YMCA : $60

jump_4_joy

airline tickets for 30 people to Washington DC: $35,000

jump_4_joy

expression on lads face when him and his whole church have been pulled into a true scam : priceless.

BTW, how did you ever avoid the phone thing with him, do you tell him its high class security?

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 9

nice mirror, the contents of the briefcase look most promising. can i have some? if yes please WU me. sorry i forgot my name now, actually i dont want any money, maybe u can just send me that 15 year old laptop.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 9

great work really

the leather rim of the briefcase handle where it touches the desk may need some redoing. also the orange glow going from the lamp onto the curtains
needs some redoing. other than that a perfect job.

i especially liked the way u rearranged things in the mirror, perfect, and hats off to you. respect!

contra

Posted: Wed May 02, 2007 7:31 am

contra wrote:

maybe u can just send me that 15 year old laptop.

It looks like a Gridcase...which would put it at 20 years old.

Maybe she's a fan of the movie 'Aliens'? Wink

Posted: Fri May 04, 2007 9:48 am

Come on, COME ON! jump_4_joy

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 3193

Sorry guys. I have the original of that photoset, and SP made no changes that I can detect. It's just coincidentally a very appropriate photo.

I downloaded the original from alt.binaries.pictures.erotica. There's several usefully tasteful shots, but if any lad saw the whole set he'd die from testosterone poisoning. Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

The arrived in the UK today jump_4_joy

, Reprob8 also sent me a little novelty Steelers helmet with it Very Happy

, I will take some photos later on, but my camera is real crap so they wont be very clear, cheers Reprob8 Thumbs up

The cap is quite small, wont go over my head, the badge is ok, it's an eagle on top of an elephant with the words "The Nigeria Police" below it Cool

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

It's now May 9th, I have not replied to my lad since my email to him about receiving the shipment on May 1st, the only email I have sent to him was me playing the part of, , he has not replied to her and not emailed the president either, hmmmmm, so I dropped him a line to explain why I have not been around, I had the Queen over, don't ya know Very Happy

:

Quote:

Dear xxxxx xxxxx,

Firstly, I would have replied to you sooner, but for the fact we have had important visitors from the UK, Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II has been in the US for a 6 day trip, and as you can imagine, there have been many functions for me to attend to, hence my lack of a reply to you.

I'm glad that you are now a happy man, let me assure you that I have your best interests at heart, that is why I used my position to get someone to get the released from Fedex, I would not liked to have seen you getting arrested had it been returned to Nigeria, not after all the hard work you have put in to this project.

The look magnificent in the , I showed my collection to Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, and I told her about the latest addition to my collection, I explained that you had sent it to me from Nigeria, and she said what a wonderful chap you must be to do something that, I totally agreed with her on that point, I told her you are a great guy to know.

It is good to hear that you are going to do a professional job on the new banner, have you started making it yet? I am eager to see the end result of your work, when do you expect to have it finished?

With regards to coming to the US, I understand what you say about Nigerians being impatient, but patience is a virtue in life, if you lose sight of your goals you will fail in your life, much the same as if you lose your patience, you will fail, patience plays a very important role, I often wish that conflicts in other countries would hurry up and end, but I have to remain patient at all times and we will win through in the end, keep rehearsing, keep the faith, keep being patient.

As for the air tickets and being taken care of in the US, please don't concern yourself with those matters, the producers company will be paying for your flight tickets and your hotel accommodation whilst you are here in the US, you will not want for anything during your stay, and as you are already aware, I will be taking care of your , all that you will need to do is to pack your suitcases when the time comes.

Did you contact the producers secretary? I received an email from Brandie today, she informs me that the producer has now come out of his coma, although he is still very ill, but the fact that he has awoken is a positive sign of things to come, thank the Lord that he has pulled through this terrible accident. Brandie also said that he might be allowed to travel back to the US at the end of May if his condition improves, but for now, he is on complete bed rest to help him recover.

I think that just about covers everything for now, I trust you are keeping well, and I hope to hear from you again soon with an update on the new you are making.

Sincerely,

Gxxxxx W Bxxx.

Posted: Wed May 09, 2007 7:34 pm

No reply to Brandy yet? Crying or Very sad

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

^^^^^ No, nothing, I hope Brandie didn't come on too strong and he twigged, doubt it, though, he often doesn't reply for a week or more, so I am not unduly worried about not hearing from him, it is nice for them to keep in touch though just so I know it's ticking over nicely.

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

After a break of 13 days, my lad finally replies Very Happy

, anyway, all is well, he's been away to the village to see his sick father and they have no internet cafe there, he has probably promised his father the best medical care when he makes it as the big music star Twisted Evil

, now he's back in Lagos and as happy as he always is to read my emails, damn mugu, he wont be happy much longer, and neither will his happy choir friends be happy with him Twisted Evil

:

Quote:

Your Excellency,

I thank you so much for you mail.

Once again, I have no choice but to be happy. I would have replied earlier than now, but, I had to go to the village to see my ageing father who is down with and high blood pressure. He sent an urgent message across to me, I had to leave to the village to see him: An eigth-nine hours journey. There is no cafe yet over there.I couldn't check my e-mails.

I just came back to Lagos... your mail was there waiting! Thank you very much. Wow, Her Majesty gave you a visit. What a hectic peroid for you. I overheard it over the radio. May the good Lord continue to keep her and give her good health and more wonderful years.

As I have come back to Lagos now, I will resume the work of the banner. By the middle of next week I would have either finished it or about putting in the finishing touches to it. The graphics you attached with the mail will be very helpful. I will do a great proffessional job this time around.

Thanks be to God!! So, the producer has come out of coma! That is really a great news to me and to everyone. We will continue to pray for him to recover fully... He is greatly needed! I will send a mail to the secretary right away to know the latest developement. The Lord will hear the prayers of all who are praying for his quick recovery.

The entire members of the choir were really high spirited when I broke the news of the tickets, accomodation and the ! They were greatly over joyed! I know all will be more seroius with the rehearsals now. May God continue to bless you. Amen.

I will have to leave now. The owners of the cafe I'm sending this mail is about closing for the day. Till I hear from you.

Yours Sincerely,

xxxxx xxxxx.

Posted: Tue May 15, 2007 8:21 am

Hopefully the 'entire members of the choir' are now packing for their free trip to the USA and getting very excited.

Quote:

I had to leave to the village to see him: An eigth-nine hours journey.

Dad should probably get a safari hat in his signature for that.

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

I have sent a reply to my lad, and while I was at it, I asked him to make me another banner, as requested by, Shiver, on this this topic about his friends wedding:

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=110778

Quote:

Dear xxxxx xxxxx,

Thank you for your email.

After not hearing from you for nearly 2 weeks, I was concerned that you may have fallen ill or had an accident, it's real good to hear from you again.

I am sorry to hear that your father is sick, please pass on my best regards to him, I hope you have told him all about what has happened to you, and that you will soon be a big music star, thus giving you the ability to give your father the best medical care possible with your new found wealth, I am sure he appreciates all you are doing to better yourself.

Yes, it is great news about the producer, he will slowly regain his full strength, it will be a slow process, as is to be expected when someone is recovering from a brain injury and surgery, but I know he will rest well and make a good recovery in the end, and it's great to hear that the choir members were overjoyed when you told them about the tickets, I like people to be happy, tell them to keep the faith and always remain positive and patient.

The banner you are making sounds like it will be fantastic, I look forward to seeing it when it is completed, on the subject of banners, whilst you are making this one, I have another small request to ask of you.

A close friend of mine is getting married in a couple of weeks from now, he runs a large cattle ranch in my home state of Texas, he has over 100,000 head of cattle (cows and bulls) there, he was very ill recently with a high fever and had to cancel his wedding last month due to the illness.

A doctor told him that fresh milk contains certain enzymes that can help make people to recover from a fever, so my friend drank milk straight from a cows udders, 3 times a day for 4 days, by the way, the cow was called, "", this seemed to work miracles and he got better very quickly due to the fresh warm milk and the enzymes in it, we now have a little joke with him, where we say to him, "", so what I would like you to do is this.

Please make me a large cloth banner, there is no need to use expensive silk for this one, a cheap white cotton banner will do just fine, the banner should be at least 20 feet wide by 10 feet high, and it will have 2 lines of text written on it, these are the 2 lines of text to use:

As the banner is going to be very big, please make sure the text is done in very large letters, you can either do the lettering in black ink, or use different coloured inks for each different letter for a better visual effect, the choice is yours as to whow you do it, but the letters must be large, at least 1 foot tall for each letter, then send the banner in the same package as the new Steelers banner you are making, the will be draped across the front of the ranch for him to see when he returns from his wedding, I just know that you wont let me down with this, because you always do great work for me and I am very proud of all you have done!

I have some important issues to attend to, so I will leave it there for now, I look forward to hearing from you again soon.

Sincerely,

Gxxxxx W Bxxx.

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

My lad has sent a reply to the producers secretary, , he didn't say he was still single, but he didn't say he was engaged to his fiancee either, I think he quite likes Brandie Very Happy

, and would like to hear her on the phone, I think I will have to ask a phone favour of VPM, if she would be so kind as to take his call when I set it up:

Quote:

My Dear Love,

Thank you so much for your wonderful mail.

I would have replied earlier than now, I had to make an emergency travel to my home town, an eight - Nine hours journey. My Dad fell sick, he is down with Diabetes and high blood pressure. He's however, getting better.I just came back to the city... there was no cafe in the village! sssshhhh! We are developing you know!

If I tell you that I didn't like the tune of your mail (and especially your picture...wow..you look great!), then, I am a lair. I do not know what to say... Well, by God's grace, we shall see in the US. At least, that is your homeland, you will know the best way to make things happen. If you were to come to Africa, Nigeria in particular, I will make you feel at ome... you'll never like to go back to the States; you will fall in love with nature. However, can it be possible I hear your voice on phone?

How is he? I hope he is really pulling fine. I will like to know the state of his health. By God's special grace, he must pull true! We are praying for his quick recovery. Extend my greeting to him.

I hope to hear from you as soon as possible. You are a damsel.

Your's sincerely,

Iyke.

Posted: Tue May 15, 2007 11:43 pm

I see a jealous boyfriend over the horizon. One with CIA connections maybe?

Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 12:28 am

Don't you just love it? Very Happy

One email and one picture and your lad's in love! Now he's going to be doubly screwed over. Maybe once he and Brandie are really getting hot and heavy you can arrange for his fianc�e to find out? I'm sure she'd love to see his naked pic.... Twisted Evil

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