Potter Derrek, now stranded in Ghana

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Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Roy, is this the lad that is so incredibly f'ckin lazy that he couldn't travel to pick up $20k? If it's the same lad Interpol has still got a warrent out for his arrest. The miserable bugger is too lazy to go down to the station and turn himself in.

(I also have his home address Twisted Evil

)

Posted: Wed May 09, 2007 4:32 pm

/\/\ That's the one, Jayhawk. Rolling Eyes

He' s pestering Roy about Man United shirts, so I have put him in touch with the club shop. I told him to mention that he is mates with Wayne R0oney, David Beckh4am and Roy Cr0pper. Razz

Meantime, David B3ckham is getting daily grief off him, but got a photo out of him, more then Roy has ever managed..

Quote:

how are you today hope you doing fine? just want to ask you whether everything thing is ok i like you mailing me everytime let us be chatting through mail please David B3ckham please i need you to be mailing me everytime is just that i like the way i use to see you play football in in the Tv please friend,i need you to help me i want to go to Europe to play football for manchester united please friend and God bless you
from Dan

David sent him a signed photo off the web, and got this back...

Pyjama Lad. Rolling Eyes

As he couldn't track anything, I think I'll send him a copy of the tracking page, and the good news about the Kraken.

Posted: Wed May 09, 2007 4:34 pm

^Whoooooo, he's got to send you that outfit!!!!

Posted: Wed May 09, 2007 4:51 pm

/\/\ What a good idea, though it may have to stay in the garage.

Quote:

David B3ckham
to dan

show details
5:48 pm (0 minutes ago)
Hi Dan,

I am getting ready to move to Beverly Hills, next door to the Clampett family in fact, so I am very busy. I think I will get on with Jethro, he is very clever compared to me, he has a sixth grade education.

I'm a bit broke at the moment, the deposit on the house cost $22 Million.

I like your snazzy outfit, if I send you the address of my agent, would you send it me?, I can wear it next time I go with Victoria to one of her music business parties.

All the best,

Your new pal, David

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

Oh come on, Roy, if he sends you those pyjamas, putting them in the garage is a no no, you have to wear them, and we wont let you get out of not wearing them Laughing

Posted: Wed May 09, 2007 8:09 pm

^^ I wanna see him wearing them in the cafe.

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

^^^^^ Who, Roy or the lad?

Posted: Wed May 09, 2007 8:34 pm

^Roy, on the telly when he's doing his day job.

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 3:08 pm

Dan has managed to track his package, he doesnt seem peturbed at all about the SS Sh1ver doing battle with a giant Kraken. Having tried to scam David Beckham, he wants a go at Sir Alex Ferguson.

Quote:

Ok Dad i have just track it Dad thanks alot today we take the premiership
Dad, do you have alex email address?
From your son
Dan

Quote:

Roy Cr0pper to dan

Im glad you can track your car, let me know when you get it.

I attach a picture of me stood next to it.

Mr Ferguson does not use email, as it costs money.

Dad

@ SP, could we move the Sh1ver out of port and towards the Panama Canal, en route to Australia? I have a cunning plan, where Dan might not be the only hopeful lad on Tin Can Island when the car arrives. There may be several, all with the bill of lading and the car's logbook...

I may need a copy of the bill of lading with the recipient left blank, is that OK?

Meanwhile, Dan is quite happy to sell bulk pajamas to David Beckham, he doesnt realise that true celebs never pay for their clothes. Slap coming...

Quote:

Ok Friend
But you know i bought it, and things in africa are very cost if you need one you just need to send some little fund to my friend account living in UK so he can transfer the money for me to nigeria and do you want them in bulk or just little in quantity

Just tell me how much fund you can make so i can buy you the outfit and send it to you by tomorow
how do you see Cool

, from Dan your dearest friend send me your phone number

Anyone good at DB impersonating who would like a chat with Dan?

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

^^^^^ I will update the tracking page tonight/tomorrow, and when the bill of lading is done, I will leave the receivers part blank for you.

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 10:44 pm

Quote:

Pyjama Lad

Are you sure they're not prison fatigues? If I wore those to bed my SO would beat me with a stick.

Posted: Sun May 13, 2007 2:32 pm

Dan gets very pushy about selling pyjamas to the Beckhams:

Quote:

Hello Dearest friend,
How are you really doing i need to hear from you now so i know how many in quantity i should tell the sales man to keep before the material got finish i need to do this now
and how much can you give me for the material so i can go and tell him how many to keep and should i sew it here in nigeria or you want to sew in LA need to hear from your immediately
From your dearest friend Dan

Then:

Quote:

Hello Friend
i think you really angry with me or is there anyway else i offended you and please the seller is still waiting for you please i need to get your fast response now because he is very angry with me and told me i'm kidding him so please friend tell me how much you can pay so buy the material and send it for you tomorow monday please.
from yur dearest friend

David replies, at last.

Quote:

David Beckham to dan

Dear Dan,

I'm sorry you haven't heard from me, as I'm a very busy man, and have to attend the opening of many envelopes.

Victoria and I never have to pay for fashion, people pay us to wear their clothes, or give us them for free. I just fancied some pyjamas like yours as something different, I never said I wanted to buy hundreds of them.

If you are ever in LA, please drop by the mansion in Beverly Hills. I must go, Granny Clampett next door is making trouble again, and she has a shotgun.

Best Wishes,

David

Dan also finds time to pester Roy about his new motor:

Quote:

Hello Dad
you looking kool in the pictue i really appreciate but dad i need you to help me pay the bill i told you so i can come to UK and start a new life.
Dad i mail the manchester united shopping store and i have'nt heard from them the car is very kool please Dad send me your mobile number i want to call you

Quote:

Dad please what year was the car produce?
i'll be very happy driving on that car in the next few weeks
from Dan your son
Dad i wanna come to UK

Quote:

Dad
is everything alright i did'nt recieve your mail please dad i need you to do something about this i want to come to UK to start a new life

He's very keen. I'll see if I can get him signed up to my Church, then we can get him to do the seamugu thing, and apply for a visa as an offshore citizen.

Quote:

Hello Dan,

I spoke to David Beckham last night on the phone, he said that
he has been emailing you. Please don't ask him for money, as everyone
in the world tries that, and he gets offended by it.

I think the car is a 1964 model, it says on the logbook that I sent
you. Here is a link to an Aston Martin DB5 for sale, as you will see,
they are very valuable, this one is �250,000!
http://www.carandclassic.co.uk/car/C14825?pt=pf Small change to
Wayne, of course, he got fed up of it not having airconditioning, and
Colleen didn't trust him with the ejector seat, he pushed the button
once by accident, and she wasn't happy.

Dan, you pester me by email morning noon and night, so why would I be
so stupid as to give you my phone number. I've told you a million
times that I won't send money, but if you are really keen to get to
the UK, Brother Roy at my Church knows how to get you a visa as an
offshore ctizen. You will have to join his Church as well. Write to
him at [email protected]

I hope it works out and if so I will see you soon,

Dad

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

Just buy the damn pyjamas, you know David would look great in them Very Happy

Updated the tracking, not that he bothers tracking it much anyway:

Quote:

Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 8:11 pm

Thanks for updating the tracking, SP, what could possibly go wrong once were in the Pacific?

Having failed to make his fortune selling celebrity pyjamas, Dan reverts to type and begs, on behalf of a man who has had his arms robbed, apparently. Rolling Eyes

Quote:

Hello Friend
I'm not the owner of the company but the owner is my friend he could diduct some money because you are a very popular man just tell me how much you can donate for him because the company is having a problem a little problem becuse amrobbers attack them last week so the compny really need money to recover the loss they have had so please dearest friend just pay it is a very little fund.
And please David send me your mobile number i wanna discuss with you
From your friend,
Dan

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

I have not checked the couriers account for a few days and notice Dan mailed me on the 12th, one of his longer emails Rolling Eyes

:

Quote:

what do i need to present in the so i can collect my car?

I will drop him a line later, anything in particular you want me to say, Roy, or just tell him he only needs the bill of lading?

Posted: Tue May 15, 2007 11:35 am

/\/\ He will need the bill of lading, and also the scan of the car's logbook which I sent him.

Tell him not to take any crap from the Port Police, they are usually very helpful and have a wonderful sense of humour. Wink

That's assuming that the pirates don't take the car when they attack SS Shiver.

I would like him to go to Lagos though, I nearly got him to go to Abuja once, but he had an 'accident' and sent me an email from his mum and his doctor. Rolling Eyes

Posted: Tue May 15, 2007 4:58 pm

Dan has been begging from David Beckham, who surprised himself by having an idea...

Quote:

David Beckham to dan

How am I supposed to trust you, I don't even know if the guy in the
photo is you, do I?

Tell you what, hold a sign saying 'Blagging Scum', the name of
Victoria's new fragrance, and we can pay you from the advertising
budget, say $1200?

David

Victoria gave dan's lottery short shrift on David's behalf, after all, david has given the winnings to Mr Cucumber's charity:

Quote:

But atlist you can help him pay the fees because i believe you are more than that just help him is just the courier charges finish.
Regards,

Quote:

David's not helipng anyone he has just given 30 million to, let him
pay his own damned fees.

Victoria Posh

That's him told, I wonder if he will wear his pyjamas for the photo?

Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 3:16 pm

Haha, this will be a fine trophy if it comes off, Dan holding a sign in public, saying 'Blagging Scum'.

Quote:

dan danin0 to me

Ok what day did you want me to send the picx, please Dearest friend i want you to trust me because i'm not a cheater (he's still trying to lotto scam me) and i dont like cheating because is very bad so maybe i send it on Friday this week. jump_4_joy

Thanks David but i want you to trust me
From your dearest friend,
Dan

Quote:

David Beckham to dan

OK, I look forward to the pictures, as soon as you are able, then I can invoice Scumb4g Industries' publicity account.

Can you get the picture taken outdoors, somewhere like a market with
lots of people around? That would fit in with the theme of the
publicity campaign. I may even get your picture on the billboard at
Sunset Strip, Hollywood. If I do, I'll take a picture and send it you.

Your LA penfriend,

David

Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 9:00 am

Stupid Boy did his 'Blagging Scum' picture, wrong. LINK

Meanwhile his comedy lotto scam gets as mad as ever:

Quote:

THE COMPANY NEED YOUR SUBORDINATE

franklin homoret to me

Hello David,
My company is just having some problems now the ship our company bought from a electronics company just sink in Dublin Ireland so please David we are looking for some body that can help us with the two million pounds Shocked

and immediately the goods has been regained we make the some of 10,000,000pounds to you please Mr David.
The company need your urgent response.
From your Best Cheer,
Franklin

Maenwhile, it finally dawns on him that the courier I have used may not be the worlds most reliable:

Quote:

Dad,
Why did you send it through this courier you should have sent the car through DHL i have not even heard of any courier like this before, you sure that this courier is not scam Dad,
just need to know Dad ok
i'll be watching please i need that jersey

Quote:

I'm feeling maybe this courier is scam because many people use this courier to send me things i dont recieve Shocked

it they will tell me to travel to another country to pickup my parcel so please i need to know whether this courier is real
From your son
Dan

He is not too pleased about the FA cup either:

Quote:

hello Dad,
I dont really understand the nonsense that the referee blow in that match its was all too bad and they played their best in that match i'm really very angry i'm really very angry.
so please Dad when is the Car really coming ?
but i'm very angry with this match Dad

A grumpy reply, @SP, can we move the Shiver to Australia, he still hasn't twigged that its going the scenic route?

Quote:

Dear Dan,

I have only just sobered up enough, after the cup final, to read your messages.

Of course I couldn't send a bloody car by DHL, its not going to fit in
a jiffy bag, is it?
It cost the club a lot of money to send that car, so don't start
bloody whining about it.

I showed you how to track it, what does the website say?, I haven't
time to track your parcel for you.

I'm off to kidnap Mourhino's dog.

Dad

Posted: Wed May 23, 2007 3:00 pm

He got quite upset about me kidnapping JM's dog, I had to explain it was a joke.

Lad has asked that the car go to a different destination, as Nigeria doesnt want our old bangers:

Quote:

Dad,
a friend of my told me that if they send the car to
nigeria the custom do not allow such modern except we
send the car to cotonou and he will go and pickup the
car there the acceptable modern is 1998
you help me tell the courier to send it through
cotonou so maybe that will be convinient for me please Dad

I think that he will have to go to Lagos when it arrives, and pay to have it resent to Cotonou - whatya think, SP? Its not like we can tell the SS Sh1ver where to dock and where not to, is it? Wink

I wonder if his friend is trying to blag the Aston. I want to send Dan to get it, anyway, not his pal.

Quote:

Dan,

Do you trust your friend to pick up a car worth a quarter of a million
US Dollars and bring it back to you? He may be trying to scam you out
of it.

In any event, I dont control the ship, I only sent the consignment - I
cant tell it which ports to dock in, can I?

Maybe you will have to go to Tin Can Island and get them to send it on
to Cotonou, that's up to you.

Dad

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

^^^^^ Tracking page updated to say:

Quote:

The is currently docked in Austraila to get fresh supplies of limes and rum before continuing en route to Tin Can Island, Lagos Nigeria.

Unfortunately, we wont be docking at Cotonou, so as you say, he will just have to pick the car up from Lagos as planned.

Posted: Wed May 23, 2007 5:00 pm

How does one use your wonderful service? I understand that you are the best Twisted Evil

and that is what I need.

I am sending my internet love bunny a gift and I don't want it to end up at the bottom of the ocean.

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

^^^^^ The courier service is only for sending lads large amounts of money, minimum of $20,000 or large shipments of things like cars or computers, it's not used for sending small gifts, sorry.

Posted: Wed May 23, 2007 5:16 pm

Thanks for your reply. Would I be correct in assuming that I can put this laptop inside a new car and ship it to my bunny? Along with the money that he needs for the hospital?

If so, the gears are turning.

Posted: Wed May 23, 2007 8:40 pm

Quote:

Ok Dad,
i'll try my best and see what i can do about it and please Dad you know picking of thing in the wharf they use big money so i'll need you to send me a little money so i can use it to pay for the pickup of my car.

You've had a free car, now you want me to pay your bribes for you?

Quote:

Roy Cr0pper to dan

I tried your phone, I got a funny tone, but nothing else, anyway why
should I ring you?

I give you a car and now you want me to pay the bribes for the port
officials. Get a bloody job, you waster.

Dad

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