Reprob8 thrown out of a Home Depot Store

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Posted: Sun May 13, 2007 5:39 am

@MasterShake... it's "Shave Big Monkeys - at Menards" inside joke.... Smile

Forever n00b Joined: 11 Jan 2006 Posts: 432

Admit it, you're gonna sniff that shit till your script is renewed. Laughing

A word of advice man, shatter your kneecap in a hundred pieces and you get 180 a month like me. Razz

Posted: Sun May 13, 2007 1:00 pm

180 a month???? Do you keep them in a candy dish on a coffee table and eat them like M&M's while watching "Hostel", "Borat", "Caddyshack", or "Life of Brian" on DVD in your boxer shorts while sipping some Glen Ord? I know that's what I'd do!! Does anyone here want to come over and smash my kneecaps? I'd do it myself but there's no doubt in my mind I'd screw it up and just have a nasty bruise and some damn ibuprofen for the effort.

Posted: Sun May 13, 2007 1:25 pm

Rep

What!! no photoessay???

Its just not good enough!!

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

Thrown out? I'm surprised they let you in Laughing

Posted: Sun May 13, 2007 1:46 pm

Ahh, Home Depot. Brings back memories. I once went there on the off chance looking for some carniverous plants. I would have settled for a Pitcher Plant, Sundew or a Venus Flytrap. I asked an assistant, found after a 20 minute search in the gardening section, did they have any insect eating plants. I was directed to the Insecticides and spray cans of fly killers. Rolling Eyes

They must employ idiots who fail an IQ test.

Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 1:31 am

I'm surprised that not more has been made of rumbero's "combing your hair" comment! I think most of us know how much hair reprob8 has! (One of the relatively few people who actually has less than I do!)

I did get a good laugh out of that, as well as using the 18/2 to wire a dryer! I'll have to try that at HD sometime. Or maybe buying lath and telling them I need it for deck joists.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 11 May 2007 Posts: 54

i took a shit in the home depot lumber department aisle...the pissed me off...i dont care if your bathrooms are being cleaned i need to use them

Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 2:25 am

^^^^^Now that's classy Rolling Eyes

419Eater is my life Joined: 12 Jun 2005 Posts: 442

That's gold! Well, paint was white, but great story. I went into a home improvement store before, dropped my shorts (NOT the undies too) and sat on one of the demo toilets asking for paper. At least others saw the humor til I was asked to leave.

** ACCOUNT CLOSED ** Joined: 15 Apr 2007 Posts: 766

Reprob8 wrote:

Do you keep them in a candy dish on a coffee table and eat them like M&M's while watching "Hostel", "Borat", "Caddyshack", or "Life of Brian" on DVD in your boxer shorts while sipping some Glen Ord?

Yes.

--J.D.

Forever n00b Joined: 11 Jan 2006 Posts: 432

Reprob8 wrote:

180 a month???? Does anyone here want to come over and smash my kneecaps?

Yeah, 180 a month. After 4 years though, they only thing they do now is relieve the pain. Laughing

Unfortunately no one has come up with a decent prosthetic patella, so I'm stuck with mine until I'm ancient enough to warrant a total knee replacement. Mine was shattered as a bullet ripped through it. Was painless enough at the time, although recovering from the surgery to recover the bullet out of my abdominal cavity proved pretty freakin painful. Don't even ask how the hell I managed to get in a position to have round travel through my knee cap and end up in my abdominal cavity. I don't want to talk about it. Embarassed

PS: Enjoyed your vacation slide show! I want to see what the person who did THIS to you looks like! Laughing

Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 5:30 am

Connie,
That is a great story!!! I used to do residential wiring, then later (when body gave out) sell electrical supplies to the public. I caught the humor (and truth) in what you said. Thanks for the memories and sense of humor!

I haven't met many people that can describe what 18/2 "bell wire" is so succinctly. Very Happy

Connie L. Gus wrote:

I needed 142 feet of number 18/2. That's two conductors of what looks like something a little larger than phone wire together in one jacket.

I have to find the sales guy and then wait for him to cut conductors for an electrician wiring up a pool motor. I know that the electrician is wiring up a safety and code violation as his neutral conductor is much smaller than his "hot". I ask him if he has heard of criminal negligence as he walks away. Holy S**t a real genius!
So after 40 minutes I get this guy to turn the handle on this device to measure the number of feet to be cut. He asks me what it's for.

I tell him I'm wiring the electric dryer in the garage. He looks at me strange and mumbles something about amperage. Hilarious!! I tell him, that's OK, I'm going to run it at 240 volts, that will cut the amperage in half. Shocked

I thought it was funny. I suddenly realize that this guy is absolutely clueless so I tell him what's up, its a "Class 2" installation of signal wire and ampacity does not play a role. Duh...

He stops and starts thumbing through his copy of the National Electric Code. I ask him if he's looking up ampacities and explain that it really will be a safe and legal installation, just cut the wire and put on a label. I watch him hunt for a few minutes while I tell him ampacities of single conductors are listed in the table on Article 310-16. Laughing

I watch him look there for many more minutes while I tell him 18/2 is not listed there. Duh... Listen, the maximum current is less than 50 milliamps, lets get on with it.

Out comes the form. Rolling Eyes

So Nancy Reagan bought some bell wire from Home Dufus that day. Shocked

Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 1:11 pm

Bustyn_Yuhrass wrote:

Mine was shattered as a bullet ripped through it. Was painless enough at the time, although recovering from the surgery to recover the bullet out of my abdominal cavity proved pretty freakin painful. Don't even ask how the hell I managed to get in a position to have round travel through my knee cap and end up in my abdominal cavity. I don't want to talk about it. Embarassed

Oh, completely unacceptable!!! I was shot in the ass when I was a kid in a bizarre "baseball hit into crazy lady's flower bed" incident. I need more facts on your shooting!!! Were you a cop? Were you drunk and said "I'll bet you 5 bucks you can't shoot me though the knee and have the bullet lodge in my abdomen"? Were you cleaning a gun, 3 stooges style? Need Input!!

Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 1:17 pm

@ reprob8
Were you cleaning a gun, 3 stooges style? Need Input!!

my friend survived cleaning his gun !! (the wall didnt though).
-never clean your gun. (its not just a dodgy metaphore)

Forever n00b Joined: 11 Jan 2006 Posts: 432

Reprob8 wrote:

Were you cleaning a gun, 3 stooges style? Need Input!!

Not quite. I was in a rush, heading out the door one day, while caring a bag, briefcase, tacklebox, and fishing pole, with my sidearm laid atop the briefcase, in its holster (but not properly secured). As I leaned over to open the door I watched in slow motion as the weapon slid from the holster and headed for the concrete floor. The noise actually startled the hell out of me because I never dreamed that the damn thing would discharge. But sure as shit, it landed on the hammer, with the barrel pointing up. Didn't realize I had been shot until I saw the tear in my pants. Didn't really get scared until I saw the tear in my shirt. Wink

Thus was my introduction to Vicodin. Laughing

Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 5:48 pm

I love "first vicodin" stories. I always get choked up and misty-eyed. Laughing

Mine was from a local quack doctor when I lived in NW Ohio. He was trying to find a viable alternative for the percodans he got me hooked on for migraines and broken bones. I love 75 year old small town doctors! Because I'm so altruistic and worried about your general health, again, I'd like to point out the services offered by the RCNPKD (Reprob8 Center for Narcotic Pain Killer Disposal), should you feel the need to reduce your vicodin intake. Go ahead, make me feel worse, tell they're Vicodin ES or Vicodin HP so I can really feel sorry for myself. On a side note, sounds like you were pretty lucky, it could have easily killed you.

Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 5:59 pm

A little 32 year old SMALL BOI (who's name I shall not mention) and I were in Home Depot looking for a certian tool he needed to perform a job (which he RARELY ever had).. There were none on the shelf and he had asked for help. The store employees were busy and told him someone would be with him as soon as possible, which did not please him one bit. I decided to go look at something a couple of aisles down.. Then, I heard him shout at the top of his lungs "IF YOU WANT ME TO KEEP SHOPPING HERE, YOU'D BETTER COME HELP ME!" or something like that. Then he kept shouting things about not being waited on. I was SO embarrassed. No wonder they didn't want to wait on him.. This jerk got to the point that *I* kicked him out of Home Depot and threatened to make him walk home. He was being a prick without provokation.. Thank GOD he's out of my life.

At least you had a reason to be angry Reprob8.. Can't say I blame you.

Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 6:03 pm

^^^^^

@419weasel - so how do you REALLY feel about this guy?

Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 6:05 pm

Yeah, quit beating around the bush!! Laughing

Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 6:13 pm

Erm.... I'm too sweet and innocent for that.. Pretty Rose

Master Baiter Joined: 20 Aug 2005 Posts: 187

Quote:

i took a shit in the home depot lumber department aisle...the pissed me off...i dont care if your bathrooms are being cleaned i need to use them

@chowdahead, you weren't dressed as a clown at the time, were you?

see http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=202505 and scroll down to Tuesday, April 10.

@Reprob8, you should just be thankful that Home Despot doesn't use the v3r1fys3c modality.

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Dec 2005 Posts: 3551

@ Bustyn, I'm not saying how I know this, but some people shoot themselves in the foot. It's a bad, bad thing.

Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 7:49 pm

^^^^ Well, I can assure you, getting shot in the ass with a deer rifle is no trip to hollywood either! Very Happy

Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 8:09 pm

^^^^ So basically you want to brag, that you went hunting with the vice president? Laughing

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