(Americans only)10 ways to tell you spend too much time here

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Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 7:44 am

As the title suggests this is for colonials only. Ten ways to tell you spend far too much time on this site and no I am not drunk. Okay maybe a little bit. Also note: this is my first attempt at being funny. So throw me a bone for pities sake.

1.You call you mom, �mum�.

2.You tell you friends to �go bugger off� and they don�t know whether or not to be offended.

3.You tell your family you are sitting on your arse and they ask if that is a regular chair or a recliner.

4.When someone asks where you live you reply �on the other side of the pond�

5.You no longer refer to yourself as an American but a colonial.

6.You tell you wife she is cheeky and she thinks you are calling her fat.

7.You accuse someone of being dodgy and they exclaim that they did not jump out of the way of any ball thrown at them.

8.You are unaware if you are using these British terms (or if they are even British terms) correctly but they sound cool to you.

9.When someone is overbearing or too strict you call them a jackboot.

10.You get startled when someone says the word �Don�.

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 7:46 am

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 7:53 am

I'll add: You lose the ability to spell words like "check", "color", and "realize" correctly, and you make references to standing in a queue. I won't even get into what happens when you call co-workers either "bloody numpty" or "cheeky git" Wink

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 7:54 am

and buying petrol instead of gas Wink

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 7:56 am

Or ask your average 7-11 clerk where they keep the nappies Laughing

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 7:59 am

I guess that means I have to spend even more time here. I�m still a silly American, I mean colonial.

I thought nappies were napkins not diapers. I have so much to learn.

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 8:06 am

^^^^
When you start thinking of "football" as something played with a round ball and no padding, you're halfway there Wink

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 8:13 am

Ghost wrote:

I thought nappies were napkins not diapers. I have so much to learn.

Serviettes are napkins

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 8:17 am

lotta wrote:

Serviettes

@Lotta, please don't try to teach Americans that word. It will come out like sworv-eye-yettis or something Laughing

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 8:21 am

A serviette sounds like something I would smoke. I do know cigarettes are called fags though.

11. You ask you best friend if he has a fag and he pulls the gimp out of a box that was hidden in the closet.

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 8:23 am

lotta wrote:

Serviettes are napkins

I see.

Do you use a toilet or lavatory? Do you eat luncheon or dinner? Would you ever use the word 'meal'? Most importantly, ave you ever chewed gum at a passing out parade? Wink

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-U

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 8:27 am

Ghost wrote:

10.You get startled when someone says the word �Don�.

And bloody right so! Laughing

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 8:34 am

Yes, Don, you have me I check. What is your bidding my master?

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 8:37 am

^^^
Umm. You did mention that you're a bit drunk, right? Laughing

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 8:42 am

Just a little. Not drunk but HBD (had been drinking) but not drunk

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 8:46 am

The judges will accept that as a "yes" Laughing

Back on topic....

419Eater is my life Joined: 11 Apr 2005 Posts: 365

Ghost wrote:

and no I am not drunk. Okay maybe a little bit.

Sorry partner, you know better than just about anyone that two cases is more than "a little bit".

Just admit it, you're plastered! Wink

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 8:55 am

C2B, honestly, I only had a couple of beers. I bet you never heard that one before.

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 9:08 am

SlayerFaith wrote:

I'll add: You lose the ability to spell words like "check", "color", and "realize" correctly,

I'm sure you mean you gain the ability to spell words like "cheque", "colour" and "realise" correctly.

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 9:09 am

^^^ Given Chief2B's vocation, he probably has on numerous occasions Wink

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 9:15 am

Yeah, me too.

Back in the day, I arrested over 5000 drunks. Drunk in public or DUI. I just gave myself FST�s and I failed, so it�s of to bed.

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 9:20 am

AlexS wrote:

I'm sure you mean you gain the ability to spell words like "cheque", "colour" and "realise" correctly.

Back in your cage, Alex! This thread is for yanks Wink

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 9:31 am

^^^Someone has to represent the Brits and the English language.^^^

419Eater is my life Joined: 11 Apr 2005 Posts: 365

Ghost,

I can understand you administering FST on yourself and failing but PLEASE don't tell me that you tried HGN on yourself!!!

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 11:33 am

Brits tend not to understand how Americans can be totally pissed without having a drop to drink. Wink

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