Having fun with my lad

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Posted: Thu May 10, 2007 8:11 pm

Things are moving well. My lad wants to invest in our company's real estate portfolio, which includes some interesting spots in the literary world .... Laughing

He has already sent his passport (Ghana) as well as a certificate for a safe deposit box where the money is (over 38 million US cash...).

Here is my latest e-mail to my business wiz in Ghana:

Dear Dr. XXXXXXX,

We would be very pleased to accommodate your investment at XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX's real estate portfolio. We currently manage
several hotel and resort properties which may fit your interests in
the hotel industry. From resorts in Macondo to boutique hotels in
Shangri-La, you will surely find an investment opportunity worth of
your time and effort.

However, we kindly request that you send us your curriculum as well as
your business profile in order to proceed. In the event our new client
procedures are successful we would arrange for one of our executives
to meet you at your desired location to initiate business formalities.

Looking forward to your response,

Regards,

XXXXXXXXXX, Business Development

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

PS We are unable to open the files you sent to us.

*****

This message is private and confidential. If you have received this
message in error, please notify us and remove it from your system.

Suggestions are welcomed!!!

Posted: Thu May 10, 2007 11:10 pm

Bamboozle him with business speak...ask for information on the Ghana hotel industry: SWOT analysis, Boston Matrix, SLEPT analysis, try and find out what his opinion on Porter's Five Force model is....etc. You certainly can't invest there without knowing everything about the industry, hopefully it'll cost him a lot in netcafe time to Google it all Laughing

Posted: Thu May 10, 2007 11:27 pm

He needs to explain in great detail every aspect of the security certificate.

And I just had this Idea

Why not start getting the lads to furnish us with their corporate privacy policy? We cant be sending out all of this information if they are going to be giving it to 3d parties.

Posted: Fri May 11, 2007 5:26 am

That's the idea, to build a boutique hotel in Ghana (just like the one in Shangri-La...).

And yes, the lad should start putting his corporate docs together....

Gotta go slowly, though, and waste as much of his time as possible. We still need to discuss a thing or two about stock options.....

Posted: Fri May 11, 2007 8:16 am

Ask for his thoughts on all matters, as has been said above make up lots of new phrases, mine would be the 'warm bed factor' which is the rating given to each hotel for average level of occupancy, good indication of how busy they are.

Posted: Fri May 11, 2007 8:58 am

Also, in order to better understand the market in his area, I would like him to visit the top hotels in his area and send me pictures back (apparently the Golden Tulip Hotel in Accra does have some nice suites)....

So, my ultimate goal is to convince my lad to prep the ground for a multi million dollar investment in his town. Our company would match his investment dollar by dollar, escrow account, the trust, etc. I do want to drive him nuts.

However, I understand that in order to absorb a lad's time and resources I ought to keep him thinking money is around the corner. That is the challenge I'm facing now though. I want him to think he is getting close to get a few bucks along the way....

Posted: Fri May 11, 2007 10:01 am

Tell him you obviously will reimburse him any reasonable expenses incurred in his endeavours.

Posted: Fri May 11, 2007 12:00 pm

I did, but he really wants me to follow his script....

Here is his latest reply:

Attn:
mpliment of the day,
i am realy geting boured with this whole issue,you keep dragging inrelivant matters that can not take us any where.

i have fowarded to you my legal identities and even the certificate of deposite of the fund to be invested and up till now i dont have your reall contact address nore youe phone number.are you taking me for a fool or what?

well, i do not have any curriculum or busness profile .i think i have made self more clearer and aswell intimatimated you on the deal i want us to carry on.

please if you think things can not work out just let me know so that i check some where eles instade of burthering my self with all these.

if you are serious to work with me,let me have your details as i requested and i send the fund with out any delay and we get on with the investment project as planed.

i cant say more or less than this.

Regards,

Dr XXXXXXXXX

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 8:34 am

jacknbebocks--^^

Your Lad never questioned you on the whereabouts of Macondo, which means you own his ass.

419Eater is my life Joined: 23 Apr 2007 Posts: 377

My main lad is trying to stick closely to his script, even with the offer of a dozen Sony Vaio laptops he wouldnt sway, he kept telling me that he wanst to get this business out of the way before he starts anything else.

I sent him a form.

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 9:53 am

He sounds like a low level lad and not well educated. Going mega bucks is likely to scare him off, but stupid = fun. Very Happy

- that may be why he is clinging so tight to his script. Get too complex and he'll bump you up the line to someone smarter.

I'd be inclined to back him down from his 'high horse' position by getting on a higher one. Tell him YOU'LL judge whether he is a fool or not by his competence in following your instructions, and you don't expect to HIM to be talking to you like a lackey. You don't hand your phone number out to people to waste your time. You do deals, attend meetings (preparing for you to supply a number he can never get you on) and only allow access to people who prove their worth.

To get expenses you'll need to see evidence of his work - his snaps, photos off the internet won't do, and bills. If he doesn't know how to do business, suggest he puts you in contact with a 'proper' deal maker - a stab in the heart to any would be mugu.

It's always risky to do that - but usually works.

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 10:31 am

Hi Gomer^^

Essentially you got the gist of the point across that many newbies should realize--ALWAYS find that line wherein you can insult the lads and challenge them and yet keep it one toke under the line to keep them still biting. When they get indignant with me I remind them I have my million$, do not need their help. And that THEY contacted ME. That usually brings them around.

I love dishing out abuse to the mugus but if done too early they bail as you know. But keep them interested and they are apologetic...

Of course I am not above using various foreign insults on them 'from the get-go' but it zoom-zooms over their heads.. These things must be done delicately...

cheerz- jervis (Cape HATteras, North Carolina)