Lawrence Smith - You give love a bad name!

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Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 9:38 am

Just as good up & under.

I've been trying to land a Vlad for a week now, and they just don't seem to latch on the way mugus do. Maybe I'll watch for a while and see how it's done. Maybe modify my wicked plans as needed, then hit 'em real hard!

Thanks for the respect though - be assured it's returned!

Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 9:50 am

Hey UP wanted to make sure, I tried to PM ya w/ some new info? Let me know if didin't work K?
And really!!?? I love waffles? How ugly are you? lol

Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 10:04 am

How oogly am I... well, pretty oogly. Example: A hooker once said "not on the first date" to me! One time I went to see a proctologist, and he stuck his finger in my mouth. Still, I'm better looking than Kid Rock.

I'm also a stinking liar! I only make frozen waffles, and I've been known to screw that up at times.

I do, however, play a mean gittar. I don't mean I'm exceptionally good at it, but it sounds really mean. Check out www.myspace.com/fsmlosst for details!

Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 4:39 am

So guess who gets ahold of me today and wants money for his sick son in the hospital now? lol
I guess he doesn't get it when someone says DO NOT ever ask me for money?
Should I ask for the Drs name and which hospital to discuss the case or just not bother responding?
Deleted by accident, was from yahoo email again though.
Well anybody? Should I bother or na?
K, take care hope your all having a great week so far!

Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 4:54 am

Send an innocent-sounding request for more info, then see what happens. Some lads will see the pattern, some will just grasp at any old straw. So far, I can never tell which ones are which at the start.

Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 7:50 am

well well, Lawrence of Arabia or wherever has tugged on the line and I'm gunna start reeling him.
@Paula, I've sent you a copy for comparison to his previous garbage.

Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 7:58 am

Well well now the fun begins!
I sent him a loving note also, asking for more info, I'll help if I can, blah, blah, lol I sent that to my friend here also, hope you got it!
He hasn't got back to me yet, let me know how you make out!
Fun, lets fry a Cassanova!
Thanx again for your help! U guys rock!
I love Karma! Even if it's self induced

Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2007 1:35 am

Well heres what I got, should I bother replying w/ anything or no? If so, any ideas, guess maybe I did say to much earlier, damn, now I gotta send the money for myhow new son! lol Well, anybody? Idears?
His english is getting worse everyday.. started out good, gets worse everytime? Guess hes not putting as much effort in now? lol
Well, I cant marry a guy who keeps spending all our money on car sheepments, that just wont work?!

i still care about u paula even my son is here calling your name in the hospital ....i really love u with all my heart paula will u marry me when i come to u in canada....how is alanna doing ....pls paula help my son out i mean howson i used all my moneyfor the sheepment of all my cars paula plsi have to do something for my son corey......the hospital bills is just $400 before there will discharnged him form the hospital...hope to hear from u soon my love paula........

lawrence.
cares.

Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 4:48 am

This guy is fun, he has the brains of a fly and I'm afraid that is an insult to a fly. As mentioned I sent him some pics of a previous bait and he just loves me. Anyway is here some of his dribble and pics.
I'm going to post all the letters for everyone's amusement.

1st letter to him:

Quote:

Hi Lawrence,
Thanks for writing to me on myspace. You look like a really handsome and nice guy that a girl would like to get to know.
So a little more about me:
I'm 25, 5'6" tall slimly shaped and weigh 118lbs
I graduated from college with honours in Business Administration and have a decent kind a job.
My parents are great people I'm sure you would like them. Please tell me more about yourself, I would like to get to know you better.

Have a great weekend
Jenny

1st letter from him

Quote:

HY JENS U REALLY LOOK PRETTY FOR ME .....AM A CAR DEALLER I SALES CARS THAT IS WHAT I REALLY DO FOR A LIVING SWETIE...MY MOM IS FROM ENGLAND WHY MY DAD IS FROM THE STATE....DO U REALLY LIKE ME PLS LET ME KNOW OKAY.....I REALLY LIKE U TOO AND I HOPE THAT U ARE A VERY GOOD AND CAREING WOMAN THAT I WILL LOVE WITH ALL MY HEART......* LAWRENCE.*

Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 5:04 am

2nd letters:

Quote:

Hi Lawrence,
I'm so glad that you wrote to me. You have an interesting occupation. What type of cars do you sell? Lawrence, please tell me what is your date of birth? I want to know if our star signs are compatible. A little about my family, my parents are semi-retired. They earned enough money during their working life to become self-sufficient enough. My father from time to time does some consultancy work with some of the companies he used to deal with and one that I currently work at. I have a brother, he is a little bit older than me and a younger sister who is finishing college this year. Do you have any brothers or sisters? Do your folks still work? What do they do? I can't say for sure and certain whether I "like" you yet. Sometimes it is a bit hard to tell after just one letter, but it is promising so far. Please enclose some pictures of yourself please. Best Wishes
Jenny

From him:

Quote:

hey am very happy to hear that from u sweetie....i have one sister her name is clara she is studing accounting in the colloge too....my mom is from england why my dad if from florida ....there are in real estate and management.....am self employed and i have over 50workers in my company in england.....which country are u from sweetie.....i really wanna settle down with a very loving and careing woman.....lawrence.

Included was the pic earlier in the thread.

3rd letters:

Quote:

Hi Lawrence,
I'm glad that you wrote to me again, I want to get know you better, but it was disappointing to see that you didn't really answer all of my questions. I know it sounds inquisitive, but girls do like to ask lots of questions!
I live in New Jersey in an apartment that I share. Sharing is an easy way to not only save money but to make lots of friends. You can never have too many of them. I was never one of these people who wanted to be a career person, I do wish to make a really nice guy and settle down one day. I want to ask you something else, what qualities do you have in a man that you think I would be most interested in?
I have to go now, meetings are a real pain, but I must still attend to them.
I look forward to your next letter and more photos.
Yours sincerely
Jenny

from him:

Quote:

hey sweetie how are u doing today hope all is well with u ,I would never make you feel unappreciated or I would never be neglected, nor I would take you for granted. I will always be willing to compromise and treat my partner with the respect she deserve.and am a man that is careing,understanding and very patiences in life .....i really need a woman like u sweetie....i will never hot u in anyway i will make u happy in life ...........
lawrence.

4th letters:
From me:

Quote:

Hi Lawrence,
I'm glad that you could write to me once more. It is starting to be a daily ritual to see something from you.
Thank you for telling me a little more about yourself, I was still waiting to find out more about your business that you starting telling me about. Even as a girl I have an interest in automobiles, my father spent many long hours rebuilding old cars. It it one of his passions. One of his sports cars was a bright orange color.
Thanks for your latest photo, you are more handsome than I first thought. Please tell me how tall you are, your weight. Remember some girls are inquisitive!
It is a warm feeling to know that you like me and that you would never hurt me.
Have a great weekend.
Yours sincerely
Jenny
PS: Where are you??

From him:

Quote:

hey jenny am very very happy to hear from you wel am in england right now wny am in england is becos my mom his from england why my dad is from florida.....and that is where my car company his sweetie u wanna come see me in england.......wow u ask how tall right am .....6.2ft ........ weight 56...and u sweetie

5th letters:
From me:

Quote:

Hi dear Lawrence,
I'm glad that you had a good weekend. I understand where you are, do you travel much between the UK and here in the states? Is your car business in UK or here? I am confused about that. I like men taller than me, your weight is 56? As I mentioned in my first letter, I'm 5' 6" tall and 118lbs.
On the weekend I went shopping with a girlfriend and we looked at some clothes, like all girls do in their free time. We also went to see a group play some music on Saturday nite. They were pretty good. Tell me what you did you got up to? You still didn't tell me what your birth date is?When is the next time your coming across to the states? I have not time to visit UK, although I did go to Paris once with my parents. Write to me more about yourself, I would like to know a lot more about you! Until next time

Jenny
PS: Please send me more photos of yourself.

from him:

Quote:

hey sweetie yes i do travel to uk and the state sweetie..i have to travel to spain i just wanna go and sheep all my cars from there...wel u ask where is my company his right my company is in england in livepool .....can u do something for my friend his name is samuel can u send him an invitation later to u.s.a if u cant do it pls let me know okay...i love your pics jenny.....

6th letter from me, I was starting to be sick of his BS already, patient bastard aren't I?

Quote:

Hi Lawrence,

I see you have disappointed me again, you didn't send me any new pictures and you didn't tell me your birthday or anything about yourself? ;((( Why are you so vague in your answers? And who is Samuel? What is the invitation for?
Hoping for some straight answers
Jenny

Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 5:07 am

6th letter from him:

Quote:

i dont have much pics okay pls i want you to understand me i like women that understand things okay......my birthday is april 5th 1977....if that will make you happy sweetie....and your when is your birthday......your ask of samuel i meet him in spain is very very good to me he take me round the country .......he told me that he wanna visit the state and am not in the state right now to do that for him and u are the only person i can ask to help me send him an invitation later okay...........
lawrence

This arsehole wants to steal my identity!!!

7th letter:

Quote:

Dear Lawrence,
I'm glad that I have got this latest email from you, I was beginning to think that you wouldn't send me any more photos. Thanks for giving me your birth date, astrology is one of my many hobbies so I was trying to find out if you and I were on the same astrological pattern, basically meaning compatibility. My birth date is 17 th October 1981. I am not Rhodes scholar on immigration or visas, but do you need a visa to come from Spain?? Is that what the invitation is for? What is the hurry for Samuel to come here to the states? What places did Samuel take you to in Spain? I've always wanted to go to Spain. I hear the beaches there are simply the best.
Hugs
Jenny

from him:

Quote:

pls sweetie i just want samuel come visit america okay as for me my dad is from american florida i dont have any problem to come to the state cos already i have visa in my passport sweetie pls try and send him the invitation later okay.......i really miss u jenny u wanna come see me in spain sweetie....if u wanna come pls let me know about that so that i will send u some money to buy your airticket okay......pls sweetie try and send samuel the invitation later okay..

8th letter from me:

Quote:

Dear Lawrence,

Look I know that Samuel might be your best friend, but I don't know him. I need to know a few things before I consider doing this favour.
What country do you have a passport for and how long is the visa valid? What do you want me to add into the invitation? I'll probably need a copy of his birth certificate, his current passport and drivers license, so that I have his date of birth. You will probably need to send a couple of photos of him as well.
Wow you would buy me the air ticket to Spain? I would really like that. I'll have to talk with my boss about getting some leave from my job.
Hugs
Jenny

his response - this guy is a wanker!!!

Quote:

hey sweetie am very happy to hear from u baby....how will i send his photo, passport and his date of birth....i dont think he have a dravers licenes sweetie..is that inpotant i dont think so sweetie.all u just have to do is that ,u will later a later on behalf of samuel that u want him to come and visit u in the state that is what the american embassy said and there need all this document in at list 2weeks before they will give samuel the visa sweetie.this are all the document the embassy really need now.......

1.......your photo on each document
2........social security
3.........bank statement
4.........your place of work and the amount u are ending
5.........the taxe u are paying
6..........your home address and your phone number

that is what the embassy ask samuel to bring sweetie as soon as u send him all this i will send u $3500 so that u will be coming to spain to join me and u will also asist my in my business the car business is to much for me alone sweetie..

lawrence.
kisses to u jenny

9th letter from me:

Quote:

Dear Lawrence,
I have asked you to send me information about your friend, well are you going to send it? What do you mean how, I guess get a scanner and scan it attach it to an email, computer literacy 101. I am not going to send you my personal information at the moment until I fully trust you. You see Lawrence you are very vague in the answers to my questions if at all. I ask you about your business, you have provided no information other than where it is located.
I have some further questions for you mister.
Where were you born?
Where did you grow up? Where did you attend school?
What are the first names of your parents?
How old is your sister and where does she study?
If Samuel is your best friend and you don't know whether he has a drivers license? DAH! ASK HIM!
If your father lives here, why don't you ask him to help Samuel, surely he knows about him?
Thank you for the offer of the $3500. I have to say no at the moment, I simply cannot take extended leave to help you sell some cars, I have my own career here. If we were to meet it would be a holiday, not work!

With much disappointment

Jenny

PS Please send me a photo of you and him standing together.

Listen to this dribble:

Quote:

if really dont have so many pics of me sweetie pls understand me okay...am really in love with u jenny.

Hey Baby,
I know we are a thousand miles away.. but I wanted you to remember that no matter how far you are you will always be near in my heart..I want to Thank You for being all that you have been to me these past few months.. I love you and soon we will finally be with each other!

Thought I'd let him stew and then I get this:

Quote:

hey sweetie is becos of your information that u said u dont believe me with that, i was born in england and i was brought up in florida tampa...i attended my university in florida the name is..greenways university,,,,,,the same with my sister okay....u ask how old is my sister wel she is 21yr old......the first name of my parent are wilson....samuel is not my best friend is one of my best and trusted worker and his right now in west african country pls jenny u have to believe me okay....i know that my dad will know something about it but is died in an auto accident last 2yr that is why ......okay sweetie when will u have holidays baby...u ask me for me and samuel photo together right all photo samuel left with all his photo.pls i dont really like lying to a woman becos i respect women alot jenny....samuel mailed me and told me that he went to american embassy all they ask him to provide all the document which i writ to u and he also said that he have to bring all the document before 2weeks so that they can give him the american visa jenny pls u have to trust me okay....u also ask where my car company is located right i will tell u any information u really wanna know about me sweetie..here is my car company location in london.....Steam Packet Company......address Princes Parade, Liverpool, L3 1DL.....pls u have to send samuel all the document jenny if u cant do it for me pls let me know okay......

lawrence,
cares for u jenny.

This guy is all over the shop, now I get most of letter #8 again.

Quote:

hey sweetie how are u doing today hope all is wel with u baby...i just wanna let u know that samuel is very worried the embassy is asking for all the document in the next 1weeks fore there will give him the visa..samuel also said that he ask the american embassy about his photo,date of birth and drivers license the embassy told him that is not need for him to scan that and send it to u before u will send him the invitation sweetie.pls u just have to mail all the document that american embassy told samuel tp provide before the next 1 or 2weeks from now sweetie u can mail it true us express if u really wanna send it to samuel i will ask him for his country post officer address.
1.......your photo on each document
2........social security
3.........bank statement
4.........your place of work and the amount u are ending
5.........the taxe u are paying
6..........your home address and your phone number
pls is very very urgent jenny pls u really have to help samuel out okay.....i promise u that if u really send the invitation later to samuel i will give u my life,my hope okay....

Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 5:23 am

So the saga continues, next I get a letter from Samuel himself, well maybe it is, but it ain't. Naughty little scumbag is definitely not computer literate. Numb arsehole sends me the letter from the same IP as our friend Lawrence.

Here's his whimper.

Quote:

samuel okwori <[email protected]>
to me

hello jenny this is samuel lawrence friend how are u doing today and how is work with u jenny hope all is wel with u....pls jenny the embassy ask me to provide all the document lawrence ask from u jenny and u are the only one who can help me to collect a visa here pls lawrence is a very good guy everybody that are working with him likes him very much ....pls jenny u have to help me out in the next 2weeks from now......i have to leave now hope to hear from u as soon as u got my mail .......

samuel.
cheers jenny.

Time for a slap, I just couldn't help myself.

Quote:

Hello Lawrence or is it Samuel?
Thank you both for writing to me! I have been away at a seminar in Chicago for a few days and got back not long ago.

I see that you now have multiple personality syndrome. Same writing style, same bombastic English that a ten year old could write better, the comprehension of an Eskimo on heat. If you wanted help for getting a visa from whoop whoop, you should have said so in your first reply perhaps?

Whoever you are, I'm going to give you one last opportunity to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but. I've given you some sincere information about me and my life and what have I got from you?

Jenny (who is very sad, confused and I feel like I've been used)
Sad

(
PS: It is too bad, as I was going to send you some very sexy pics ....

I'll let you know if humpty dumpty comes back .... Laughing

Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 9:04 pm

Well this guy is as dumb as an ox. Three letters, two from Lawrence and one from Samuel from the same IP address within an hour, and now I'm a liar and I've hurt his feelings? but deep down he still loves me. Laughing

dingbat #1 Lawrence -letter 1

Quote:

hey jenny what are u really talking about so u mean that am lying to u is that what u really mean if u really dont wanna help samuel why can u tell me since..i have to go now u have hurted me badly bye...

dingbat #1 Lawrence -letter2

Quote:

You are my WORLD, my EVERYTHING... you are my ROCK, my STRENGTH... you are my SOLDIER, my FIGHTER... you are my BEST FRIEND, my LOVE... I'm sorry for hurting you. I promise I will never hurt you again. I want the world to see how much I am in love with you and how I can make you happy if you let me. Please forgive me jenny. I will do whatever it takes to get our love back...i have to say bye to u jenny..

He must have been really upset because he sent that one four times. What makes this guy worse, is that the photo of Samuel was attached to it.

dingbat #2 Samuel <[email protected]>

Quote:

HOW JENNY HOW ARE U DOING TODAY HOPE ALL IS WELL WITH U JENNY.....PLS I REALLY NEED YOUR HELP URGENTLY PLS...CAN I ASK U SOMETHING JENNY,DID U CALL LAWRENCE A LIAR WHY DID U DO THAT NOW IS VERY MAD AT ME THAT HW WAS TRYING TO HELP ME OUT AND NOW U ARE CALLING HIM NAMES JENNY...WHY

I haven't really called him names yet, but I might! Twisted Evil

Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 9:46 pm

Can't help but sing that 80's song when I read these tales of woe "Jenny, Jenny, who can I turn to?" Razz

Posted: Wed May 02, 2007 11:27 am

Love that song too! I was always a musical type of guy! Surprised

Posted: Wed May 02, 2007 3:03 pm

How dare you call the fu**in assh**e names?! lol He loves U can't U see that you hurtful bit** lol Ya I called him a liar a few times, he doesnt like that? lol The truth hurts, and getting busted sucks, lol Awesome! Keep up the great work, this is so much fun!

Posted: Thu May 03, 2007 7:50 am

I got kind of sick of this guy(s) and he hasn't been back since. Here's what I sent him.

Quote:

Dear Lawrence and Samuel,
Thank you again for both of you writing to me. You again seem to have split your personalties to write to me once more from the same computer within the hour. You must have thought that people were born in a pile of cow dung.

You - Lawrence � You say that you love me
You � Samuel are accusing me of calling Lawrence a LIAR. I don�t know what to say. This whole conversation smells of a very bad odour. I could help you guy(s) but I remain unconvinced that I am getting the truth from either of you?? I�m confused as to how or who I should be addressing?? Whilst I think that this whole thing stinks to high heaven I won�t be sending any information that you have asked for. Have you heard of identity theft/fraud?

Sad Jenny

I'm going to write to him in a few days and say I'm sorry with a few photos. Twisted Evil

Posted: Thu May 03, 2007 8:04 am

Hey I can't wait to hear the end of this. I need a man to love me like that.....had one too. What a bum. Didn't work, was an alcoholic, and got so many dui's. He's now in prison. I think thats why I love my dog Jiggs (my avatar) so much. He never asks for money, always does what I say, and is always waiting for me to love me and be with me. But if I ever get bored with him...I could always be with Lawrence the lithario from hell....ha ha....love these baits......keep up the good work and keep us informed. I can't wait for the next please send me money I love you Jenny.

Posted: Thu May 03, 2007 8:07 am

Ya watching this unfolding romance even better than mine is great! What stories! Ya let him stew a few days, evertime I told him off he came back after a few days with some great apologies! This is better than a soap opera! lol Take care! Have a great day all! Waiting for the next episode! lol

Posted: Thu May 03, 2007 8:34 pm

Guess whose back for more

Quote:

what are u really taking aout jenny u called me a theft and a fraud star right pls keep the help i ask u to help samuel okay....i cant take this anymore bye for now...

thanks very very much for calling me those names god will bless u and your family jenny i have to go now...

take a very good care of urself bye.

Posted: Sat May 05, 2007 2:38 am

This guy gives humpty dumpty a bad name:

Quote:

Dear Stanger,

I want to know why you need my information and my photos as well as how much I earn and my social security number. I don't know much about how immigration works, but shit I'm not giving out that information to a total stranger. I have a lot of doubts about who you are and where you come from. You don't answer questions so what am I to think? If you were genuine in your feelings why would you burden me with trying to get him into the country if he is only an employee? What or why is it so important to you and him? If you went to school, why are your letters written so badly? Your English writing is not of the standard I would expect from a potential partner.

Now even more confused.

Jenny

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 02 May 2007 Posts: 8

post samuel picture

Posted: Mon May 07, 2007 7:07 am

With pleasure, presenting dingbat #2 "Samuel" crappy pic Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon May 07, 2007 2:56 pm

Hey never saw that one before! lol I wonder how these people would feel if they knew what their pics were being used for? Poor dudes..
Well 2 funny, have a good one!

Posted: Mon May 07, 2007 4:38 pm

Oh dear God this guy truly is as dumb as they come. Laughing

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