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Tommo Shanter
Baiting Guru
Joined: 13 Jan 2006
Posts: 5378
Location: Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad. - Euripides
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Posted:
Tue May 01, 2007 1:37 pm |
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Some bloke just came to my door in anticipation of selling me something or other.
He says "Are you the homeowner?" Knowing he's probably trying to flog some sort of shite that will probably cost me shed loads of money, I reply "No. I'm renting" [I am not]
"Sorry to trouble you". And off he toddles. Result.
Ain't baiting briiiilliant. |
_________________ £1,052,334.30 (=US$2,121,125.60) lads fake cheques out of circulation (at 11/6/2008)
x135 (at 26/9/2008) x138
"i see your not interested in the transaction but catching your fun, calling names and my muckery of me." - Usman Bello
"You need to visit a good psychiatrist very fast, because some nuts are missing from your brain." - PROF.SOLUDO
"...it is very important you forward the your cycling proficiency certificate which by right belongs to you." - Prof Charles Soludo.
"note i can still change my mind to blow you off and whenever" - T0ny 'The Killerman' Erik
YOUR GENERATION WILL ROAST IN ABSTRACT POVERTY,BASTARD IDIOT -Daniel Mensah
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mrsbean
Elite Baiter
Joined: 06 Oct 2004
Posts: 1775
Location: North of the Rio Grande, South of Alaska
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Posted:
Tue May 01, 2007 1:41 pm |
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I probably would have replied "No, I'm the burglar." |
_________________ Night of the Deaded Banks - 6 x x26
I believe that you cannot get this type of opportunity again till you enter grave, you are such a bounch of stupid that I have never seen. - Jerry Gezi
Heaven help us, I've started publishing my baits in a blog... If you want to learn how to straight bait, thisaway...
Straightbait
Nifty anti-scam sites of interest
Artists Against 419 | Fraudwatchers |Scamomatic | Scampatroll Scam Victims United | Fake Checks Dot Org |
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jefflebowski
419Eater is my life
Joined: 23 Apr 2007
Posts: 377
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Posted:
Tue May 01, 2007 1:42 pm |
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I remember doing a similar thing with a phone call trying to sell me a conservatory, I actually spent ten minutes talking to her and made an appointment for her to come round.
At the time I lived in a first floor flat
Funny how I never got a knock on my door! |
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Tommo Shanter
Baiting Guru
Joined: 13 Jan 2006
Posts: 5378
Location: Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad. - Euripides
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Posted:
Tue May 01, 2007 1:47 pm |
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The rogue builders are the best They usually point at my roof line and tut a lot. I point at the bats and tell the man that the bats they are quite happy living in there. They then bugger off. The builders I mean, not the bats, because they are a protected species. |
_________________ £1,052,334.30 (=US$2,121,125.60) lads fake cheques out of circulation (at 11/6/2008)
x135 (at 26/9/2008) x138
"i see your not interested in the transaction but catching your fun, calling names and my muckery of me." - Usman Bello
"You need to visit a good psychiatrist very fast, because some nuts are missing from your brain." - PROF.SOLUDO
"...it is very important you forward the your cycling proficiency certificate which by right belongs to you." - Prof Charles Soludo.
"note i can still change my mind to blow you off and whenever" - T0ny 'The Killerman' Erik
YOUR GENERATION WILL ROAST IN ABSTRACT POVERTY,BASTARD IDIOT -Daniel Mensah
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Corona
Baiting Guru
Joined: 21 Sep 2006
Posts: 8809
Location: On ya left!
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Posted:
Tue May 01, 2007 1:50 pm |
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Pachanga
Baiting Guru
Joined: 04 Dec 2005
Posts: 3551
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Posted:
Tue May 01, 2007 2:14 pm |
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My cousin tells the caller to hold on a second because he has a terrible gastric problem. He then makes barfing and other terrible gastric-distress-type noises. He gets back on the phone and says he has a mess to clean up, and would the caller ring him again in a few minutes. Few are stupid enough to do so. |
_________________ I HAVE HEARD OF YOUR EVIL DEEDS IN THE NET HACKING PEOPLE INFORMATION BUT OLLOOOKUN THE GOD OF MOMBASSA KENYA WILL STRANGLE YOU ON YOUR BED IN 7 DAYS TIME, COUNTING FROM TODAY. (8/03/2008)
Lome, Togo to Bouake, Ivory Coast
Lagos to Abuja
Click here to support 419Eater.com |
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Dionysius
Elite Baiter
Joined: 24 Mar 2004
Posts: 1639
Location: 61 Cockle St, Llareggub
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Posted:
Tue May 01, 2007 2:50 pm |
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Financial cold callers - I ask them if the can help me defraud their company or I let them slowly drag my 'financial history' out of me. It goes from being turned down for loans, to I have some court judgements against me, eventually they 'find out' that they were not county court judgements for debt but a crown court conviction for fraud.
The builders get asked all sorts of questions about body disposal underneath the patio. |
_________________ http://www.aa419.org to Kick a Fake Bank - http://www.scamwarners.com/ for Warnings Against Scammers and Anti Scam Advice.
RIP - Lad vampire and muguito were the gifts that kept on leeching. Greatly missed.
Information about Scams and their effects with great trophies - http://www.scam-info-links.info/ from Scam Patroller - http://www.romancescambaiter.com/ from wayne |
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Roycropper
Baiting Guru
Joined: 14 Nov 2005
Posts: 7992
Location: Luxury Coffin
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Posted:
Tue May 01, 2007 3:00 pm |
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I wont get into religion, promise, or tell you what i said to them, but the Mormons now make a point of calling at every house on our street except mine.
I once told a debt collector that I was my own son, and that 'Dad' had run off to Florida with a floosie. I never heard from them again. |
_________________ the European Union has bounced on our freckles
COULD YOU IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I WENT TO THE BANK
our Agent is Completely broke, pocketless and stranded
I WLL SEND AN AFRICA WITCH TO ATTACH YOU BASTARD
You go die like bird
i started shouting HALLELUJAGOBBLE but none of them notice me immediately police arrested me due to the shouting
f*ck u asshole ur damn mother will loose ur fcuking skull brain ur brain is nothing to compare with rat f*ck ur u
MY FRIEND ALEX WAS DETAINED IN POLICE STATION
I am not happy due to the question i answered at money office. Let me tell you do not play with me ok.
x4 6Yrs x6 |
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Fat Old Catt
Master Baiter
Joined: 01 May 2007
Posts: 147
Location: Basking on a sunlit patio
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Posted:
Tue May 01, 2007 3:50 pm |
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I always get calls from people at the Chase bank asking me about upgrading my credit card to some special platinum account or whatever the hell they're peddling this week. They always, for some reason, have people call me who barely speak a word of English and can't even pronounce my last name (admittedly, many English speakers can't pronounce my last name either, but still, these people do it so much worse, because they forgot to put in the hyphen when they were printing my name on the card), and I have a lot of fun stringing them along for a while, telling them I can barely make out a word they're saying (which is true), and asking them to repeat themselves, not really listening, and then finally, when I have to go, just abruptly hanging up. |
_________________ My momma always said, "Forrest, life is like a box of chocolates... SO PIG OUT! HAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!! |
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BRUIN
Baiting Guru
Joined: 10 Apr 2006
Posts: 11329
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
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Posted:
Tue May 01, 2007 3:51 pm |
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My normal technique for telephone marketers is to respond "No English - No English -then launch into a babble of mixed Spanish, Russian, and made-up gibberish. It usually gets rid of them quickly.
Bruin |
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Luther Blissett
Elite Baiter
Joined: 06 Sep 2005
Posts: 1029
Location: Watford, Middle East
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Posted:
Tue May 01, 2007 6:47 pm |
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I just had one of those financial cold callers the other day. I told them that they have their details wrong and that my name is really Usman Bello - the lady said, okay, she'll update her files. I then asked whether she could send me some info in writing - I'm waiting to get an envelope & letter addressed to Usman Bello |
_________________ Banks: x1 x2 Law Firms: x1 Misc. Mugu Pooh: x1 x2 HYIPs: x25 Phonelad Websites: x6
Donate the Nurse, the Eater needs Pants... Err? * Scamwarners.com * Artists against 419 * Kill HYIPs & Ponzi Scams! |
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Chipmunk
Master Baiter
Joined: 26 Mar 2007
Posts: 149
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Posted:
Tue May 01, 2007 7:13 pm |
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Chipmunk (on the phone) just keeps yelling "Hello! Hello!" until they hang up. |
_________________ "Your stupid questions made me to searching your name and I found out that you are spammer. Nobody answered Xxxxxx Xxxxxxxx , it is witches name. God must repent you ."
"If you fail to provide the Documents to us, we will charge you with the FBI and take our proper action against you for not proofing to us the legitimate of the fund you are about to receive."
"i will be ready to joj your church with one condition that i will never told to put any lattoo on body as most of churches uses that as a symbol or whatever." |
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kleindoofy
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 24 Oct 2004
Posts: 6248
Location: Europe
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Posted:
Tue May 01, 2007 7:30 pm |
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In Germany it is now against the law to advertise products on the phone in the "cold call" fashion. I still get calls, but the callers have to say that they are "informing me" of something or some such legally defined choice of words.
So, I always say "come on, cut the bull, you're trying to sell me something." They, of course, say "no, I'm not." So I say "yes you are." They say "no, I'm not." I say "yes you are."
I then say "listen, if you're not going to be honest with me, I won't talk to you - so admit it: you're trying to sell me something." Many of them cave in and say "ok, yes, I'm trying to sell you something."
I then inform them that they have just confessed to a crime and ask their name. This is where they hang up. |
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Gnasher
Baiting Guru
Joined: 29 May 2006
Posts: 2849
Location: Centre Stage in the Theatre of Cruelty
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Posted:
Tue May 01, 2007 10:27 pm |
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When I really was a tenant I told all the cold callers this fact and they all instantly backed off. Sweet. I use it to this day and it still works every time. |
_________________ x21
"you have to pay because he need to submit this form to the Federal Ministry Of Fancies" Barrister John/Mike/Richard Okeke
"they are in deed the swinders rotating about in the net and searching for whom they will stylishly defraud your belongings" A. Moron
"Please pray harder for God to guide and protect us during our travelling because flight airplane i observe is a very big risky" Abdul Karibu
"WE DOESN'T LIKE HOW DISOBIDIENT YOU ARE!" Coco Law Chambers
"BE INFORMED THAT YOU WILL INCUR DUMMERAGE AFTER 9 DAYS FROM TODAY" Burkina Faso Air Secure Air Service.\ |
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Saint Arnold
Elite Baiter
Joined: 26 Sep 2006
Posts: 1261
Location: By the kegerator
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Posted:
Tue May 01, 2007 11:27 pm |
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People don't go door to door selling stuff here in Texas. One of the many advantages of the local gun control laws (or lack thereof). |
_________________ The baiter formerly known as Krona
Our legal team are on standby for the next line of action in this very interesting case.already they are still studying the MTCN number that you sent,it will be used as evidence together with your full names and address,when this epic battle commences. - the one and only Charles Soludo
--------------------------
x15 (RIP) x7 x1
Lottery lad, Benin City - Abuja A new minister, Lagos-Benin City The same minister, Lagos - Tamale, Ghana
Dr. Johnson - Abidjan-Abuja and back again (so far! - 1666 miles round trip)
<----because life can seem bleary and bleak without one. TS
Because Lotta is a great and beautiful mod!
x21 |
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PRNDL
Hello I'm New here!
Joined: 25 Feb 2007
Posts: 11
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Posted:
Wed May 02, 2007 12:33 am |
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Telemarketers have slowly quit calling my phone numbers. My phones are listed under a made-up unpronounceable name so when they falter with the name I know they need their time wasted.
I'm always interested and will try to keep them talking and answering product questions for at least 15 minutes, then someone is at the door, or 'oh my God' I left something on the stove, or the dog need out.
I'll be right back.
Then I lay the phone down and go back to what I was doing. They will eventually hang up. Once one called back later and said I was rude to not come back to the phone. I just told him that was the way I played with telemarketers... "Hold on someone is at the door." He got it twice.
And always, always "I didn't make this call so I can say whatever I want, yes connect me to a supervisor please!" |
_________________ I do not want to talk to you any more.
Your phone is telling to leave a voice messege. |
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Eliza_Doolittle
"Warned for lad hugging"
Joined: 16 Mar 2006
Posts: 1979
Location: Contemplating a plan to steal Shiver's cat
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Posted:
Wed May 02, 2007 12:37 am |
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You should have said - NO - I am an investigator - the homeowner has been murdered. May I ask how you know him and where you were approximately 1 hour ago? |
_________________ Uch3nna - 222km Lagos, Nigeria to Cotonou, Benin
M4rtins Uzo - Lagos to Abuja "l have spent money,time,took risk to travel all the way from lagos to abuja to meet you.(8 good hours on board)."
Ed - Port Harcourt to Kaduna
vLad's ebay auction states "Wonderful seller! Thinks "out of the box" to get item to you."
<br>
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/MrsRobinson419"> Click to see the videos Ed sent me.</a><br>
<A href="http://members.419eater.com/~eliza_doolittle/index.html"> Eliza's lad quotes, photos, and audio files</a>
x12
*this sig icon has been censored* <br><a href="http://members.419eater.com/~eliza_doolittle/809104_ML.pdf" > click here</a> for a Bank Account Transfer Form.
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battery
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 31 May 2005
Posts: 930
Location: a wonderful yet shit place to live
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Posted:
Wed May 02, 2007 4:15 am |
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Here companies call direct rather than using cold call service centres, which leaves them very vunerable to the following attack -
I tell cold callers (I think I've told this story before) that I'm very interested in x and can they give me a name and mobile/office number so that I can get back to them personally...
Then I make a list of the names/numbers, which I in turn distribute to other cold callers when they ask me for my name and number. It's pretty lame, but it does seem to reduce the volume of cold calls I receive. I think I'm black listed or something. |
_________________ x14
DONATE
---
I don't deserve a pony
of course you deserve a pony-lotta
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Fat Old Catt
Master Baiter
Joined: 01 May 2007
Posts: 147
Location: Basking on a sunlit patio
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Posted:
Wed May 02, 2007 6:24 am |
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I just Googled "fun with telemarketers" and found several entire sites devoted to stories of how to annoy and frustrate a telemarketer. Unfortunately, none of them take long enough to really keep them hooked long enough to keep them out of the hair of someone else, but there are a couple that take long enough to make it worthwhile.
As mentioned before, the trick of saying "hold on a second," putting the phone down and not checking back for another hour works great (although you shouldn't really do that if you're expecting an important call from someone you actually want to hear from relatively soon).
Tom Mabe, on the other hand, tried this little stunt. (NSFW!!!) |
_________________ My momma always said, "Forrest, life is like a box of chocolates... SO PIG OUT! HAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!! |
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eamonn
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 14 May 2005
Posts: 621
Location: Standing on the edge, looking down
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Posted:
Wed May 02, 2007 8:10 am |
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I love getting these calls, I'm always up for a bit of fun.
Last night I got one from a distinctly foreign sounding bloke claiming to be "gary" from <nameless company>. I asked him where he was and he finalyy admitted to being in India. I told him "Great, I love india" he then said "but we are based in the UK" so I told him "Oh sorry, I never deal with UK companies, only Indians"
I now try to make it my mission to get them to hang up on me and last week I got the regular (like twice a month) call from Anglian Home Improvement and I decided on a new tack; the girl sounded quite young so I though I would spare her the "I'll kill your rep and eat him" story and instead decided to sweet talk her. Every question she asked, I turned round and asked her if she though it would look good, then kept telling her she sounded so cute and would she meet me. I think she twigged because she was laughing (especially when I said "I'm very well-hung though, it would be quite an honour"). She finally said she was flattered but had a boyfriend so I told her to bring him along to watch. She said "I gotta go" and hung up. |
_________________ "stop insulting me,am a God fearing christain,I don't like it"
"we wanted to defeat the devil ,which we have done ,you are now the problem"
Lagos to Cotonou and Lagos to Kumasi x19
get your baiting forms here |
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spot
Moderator
Joined: 25 Aug 2005
Posts: 9149
Location: Criminal Disruption Department.
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Posted:
Wed May 02, 2007 9:18 am |
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@ Fat Old Catt.
That audio clip was absolutely mint !!
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_________________ x32
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jamarse
Master Baiter
Joined: 13 Jan 2006
Posts: 180
Location: Twisted Pubbleknickerlicker
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Posted:
Wed May 02, 2007 9:48 am |
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Phone cold caller: Would you be interested in finding out more about a conservitory!
ME No thanks, I always vote BNP
Phone cold caller: Oh, Double glazing?
ME Is it Brick and bullet Proof?
they hung up |
_________________ My guy was busy doing copy and pest and can't indetify an idiot like you,God punish you for doing this!
X25
X3
23 months - THE F0CUS 0F GL0RY M0THERLESS H0ME |
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Nanny Ogg
Baiting Guru
Joined: 19 Mar 2007
Posts: 2628
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Posted:
Wed May 02, 2007 2:01 pm |
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In the UK you can register with the telephone preference service
link
In the past I've let my young daughter tell them all about her new My Little Pony, told them my husband has ran of with the milkman and left us peniless or stuck the phone in the oven . I found it to be a good idea to make sure the oven is switched off first.
Callers at the door get told I just dont do business on my doorstep.
Most accept this, except one rather drunk guy who started mouthing off at me. He shut up when my son came to see what was going on ( he's about 6ft 6ins, broad, rather hairy and has a scowl to peel paint with, ahh but such a wee gentle lamb really. Think Cpt Carrott ) |
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it wasn't me
Elite Baiter
Joined: 18 Feb 2007
Posts: 1043
Location: sitting in the corner drinking wine, eating cheese
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Posted:
Wed May 02, 2007 2:24 pm |
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Years ago, when times were hard and jobs were scarce, I worked at a 'cold calling' place.
I got sacked after 2 weeks because I kept apologizing to every one I called and said 'I know you must hate this, so please feel free to tell me to sod off!"
They did. |
_________________ Do not be sceptical be pessimistic - Lotto scam.
I just don't know how to express the gravy of my happiness. - Barrister M Abd0lla
you nose i have been away in the middly east. -Ali Al1
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Tsnerd
Not quite a Newb
Joined: 14 Jul 2005
Posts: 41
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Posted:
Wed May 02, 2007 2:36 pm |
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I get these a lot at work.
One of my favorite things to do is pretend interest and ask them to wait while I transfer them back to my office phone. Then I transfer the call to the fax.
Occasionally one will call right back after experiencing the fax warble screech from hell.
None have ever gone for a third attempt. |
_________________
Fakers: many, many, lots; an SSL and a couple of Resellers.
x 6
AH, AH, AH! Two little ! |
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