I'm being stalked by Nigerian fishermen

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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 6:48 pm

The immortal phrase - "I don't believe it" comes to mind.

When I first got these Nigerian fish scam mails I licked my lips in anticipation at the potential for high hilarity but they always bombed out. The first one I had involved transporting fish to the UK by speedboat. I actually ignored the last one, that appeared to involve shooting fish in the water - but now I'm getting angry.

Well lo and behold I get another one in my catcher inbox

Quote:

MY NAME IS C***** J. N****, I CAME ACROSS YOUR EMAIL IN A FISHING SITE ( like yeah Rolling Eyes

), AND I AM CONTACTING YOU TO KNOW IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A HELPER WHO WILL HELP YOU IN YOUR FISHING JOB, OR IF YOU KNOW OF ANY BODY, COMPANY THAT IS LOOKING FOR WORKERS

You're gonna love the North Sea in a Souwester and Gumboots in a force nine gale with me pushing your head underwater Twisted Evil

Quote:

I LOVE TO WORK IN A FISHING BOAT BECAUSE OF MY HOBBIES ARE TRAVELING MEETING PEOPLE, MAKING FRIENDS AND FISHING, AND I KNOW WHEN I WORK IN A FISHING BOAT I WILL BE ABLE TO TRAVEL AND MEET PEOPLE AND AS WELL MAKE GOOD FRIENDS DO MY FISHING TOO, AND AGAIN I HAVE ALWAYS LIKED TO WORK ON THE SEA

It is so stupid it almost sounds real - but I don't care - I have had it with these fish baits. This is his CV Shocked

Quote:

EDUCATION: BASIC EDUCATION, FIRST SCHOOL LEAVING CERTIFICATE, REGIONAL
MARITIME ACADEMY ACCRA GHANA, CERTIFICATE OF TRAINING PERSONAL SURVIVAL
TECHNIQUES, CERTIFICATE OF TRAINING ELEMENTARY FIRST AID, CERTIFICATE OF
TRAINING FIRE PREVENTION AND FIRE FIGHTING, CERTIFICATE OF TRAINING
PERSONAL SAFETY AND SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITIES.
LANGUAGES: ENGLISH

I'm going in - cover me. Cool

Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:14 pm

huh? whats the sc@m here?...they're responding to your fishing ad for what? Sorry, I'm a little slow

Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:24 pm

Are you sure it's a scam? You wouldn't (well maybe you would) believe some of the resumes I've seen.

Forgive the newbie, but what's a fish scam? For some reason, I'm picturing an e-mail with a picture of the Little Mermaid and the text "send 500 by western union or the fish gets it" but that can't be it.

Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:29 pm

GomerPyle wrote:

I don't care - I have had it with these fish baits.

For some reason, this cracked me up Laughing

Yeah, I know... Easily amused, that's me...

Isn't there a member here called ol'fishbaiting?

I had a fish bait last year - it was pretty good fun, but the last email you received just takes the propper kipper Wink

Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:29 pm

It came into my scam e-mail catcher account. It has only been posted in guest books that scammers use to find victims.

I don't recall posting in a 'fishing' guest book but I have certainly never advertised for fishermen - I'm not like that Wink

His CV continues

Quote:

COMPUTER SKILLS: GOOD IN SEARCHING. (I bet Rolling Eyes

)

I WILL BE HUMBLY HONOURED IF MY REQUEST IS GRANTED.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR READING MY C.V AND UNDERSTANDING. HAVE A NICE DAY
AND GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR GTREAT COMPANY..

What company ? Not all scam mails are immediately obvious as to whay they want. I'm cynical.

The bait begins because I didn't invite him into my inbox - what happens after that depends on how he behaves. If I ever get an inkling he is a sad and stupid person trying to get a job using guest books, I'll drop him like a stone.

Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:36 pm

This sounds like bait to me.

>rim shot<

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

Quote:

FIRST SCHOOL LEAVING CERTIFICATE

I had one of those as well... My parents had to sign it in order for me to join the Army while underage. Wink

Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:43 pm

Make sure you aske the mugu if he has any experience in catching word fish Laughing

Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:45 pm

Obviously this guy knows nothing about commercial fishing... Laughing

Meet friends and travel and do my fishing too.. LOL

What about the twenty hour shifts. Laughing

Not quite a Newb Joined: 09 Apr 2007 Posts: 21

Does he like fireside cuddling and walks in the country as well?

Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 11:29 pm

I called my boat the - sounds like a burger bar.
A fine sturdy vessel - no need for him to worry at all.

He has also been warned about all the forms he'll have to complete, but as I have always been jilted by these idiots I won't set anything up until he replies.

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

That ship looks yar. Get the lads on board and and set her to sea.

Master Baiter Joined: 09 Feb 2007 Posts: 101

Sea safari anyone? There are quite a few islands off of Africa...

Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 1:15 am

Tell him he's going here...

http://dsc.discovery.com/beyond/index.html?playerId=203711706&categoryId=210013710&lineupId=716053083

Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 1:49 am

That video made me hungry!

Master Baiter Joined: 14 May 2006 Posts: 139

Goodluck, and you'd better make sure that he passes the interviews set by Captain Birdseye. He'll only allow the finest cuts of fish at his table.

Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 4:04 am

A great site Les - though I like this clip best

http://dsc.discovery.com/beyond/index.html?playerId=203711706&categoryId=210013710&lineupId=716053083

If he notices the ship's name I'll tell him it's the sister ship

Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 7:55 am

GomerPyle wrote:

I called my boat the - sounds like a burger bar.

There used to be a chain of Happy Eater roadside restaraunts when I was a kid...

Gomer, he'll have to complete the RFA (Royal Fishing Association) basic tests such as man overboard drill in full wetweather gear (oilies) and steelcapped boots, and provide the required video evidence. New EU regs, honest...

Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 8:39 am

If nothing else you can get a copy of each of his certificates.
Does he realise just where your fishing boat is located?
This has the makings of a biggie, good luck.

Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 8:54 am

I still can't sea who he's trying to net with this scam. Or is he just trolling? Could just be a red herring. If not, we could get together and try to hook him with a grouper bait.

Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 1:33 pm

I can't believe what I'm herring - another load of fish puns? It's enough to make me feel eel.

Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 1:50 pm

Les Noise wrote:

Obviously this guy knows nothing about commercial fishing... Laughing

...

Or the "short trips" of; leave before sunrise and return after sunrise...the next day Smile

edit)@GP - has he got a seamanship certificate? AB or ABS or somesuch
dont know what they're actually called (able bodied seaman or such)(I was in USN not merchant sevices) Smile

Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 2:17 pm

yastreb wrote:

I can't believe what I'm herring - another load of fish puns? It's enough to make me feel eel.

Indeed, this isn't the plaice to carp about things

Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 2:20 pm

And think of the fun you could have teaching him the phonetic alphabet.

You would need to make up the most rediculous words and then test him on it so that he could get his Radio Licsence (after more forms to fill out).

Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 2:24 pm

Commercial Fishing Licensing must be run by one of us :
lad form heaven
18 forms to choose from.
Ahh hell, get him to fill the lot in.

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