And I Thought We Were So In Love

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Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 10:26 am

Musa Kuewemi was slipping off the hook. He just didn't want to play without getting his cash up front.

His last email was a terse:

Quote:

Ron
That is ok, injoy your compney promotion.
Musa

So, not being one to let it go there I replied:

Quote:

Thank-you Mugu

Enjoy your shitty life as a 419 scammer.

Ron Jeremy

I musta touched a nerve.

Quote:

YOU ARE A MUMU,

AND THAT IS WHY IDIOTS LIKE YOU CAN NOT MAKE ONE CENT
FROM THIS BUSINESS. MUGU LIKE YOU. IT IS IDIOTS LIKE
YOU THAT GO TO OKIJA SHRINE TO DO RITUALS FOR MONEY.
ONYE IBERIBE, NWA ONYE ASHAWO, HOLIGAN,OZUH,NKITA,YOUR
ENTIRE FAMILY ARE VAGABONS AND OSU AND UMEH. NDI ARA
CHINEKE KPOROKU.

YOU WILL DIE A POOR MAN. YOU CAN
NEVER MAKE ONE NAIRA FROM THIS BUSINESS AND YOUR
GENERATION WILL BE SERVANTS TO PEOPLE LIKE US.
OHU LIKE YOU,ALL YOUR SISTERS MUST DIE AS ASHAWO AND
YOUR BROTHERS ALAYE. SHE NA OFF SHORE YOU DEY, YOU
MUST NOT COME BACK ALIFE. YOU WILL COME BACK IN A
COFINE, YOUR MOTHER WILL NOT ENJOY THE RICHES OF A SON
AND AM SURE SHE IS ALREADY A WIDOW THAT WILL BE A
LAUGHING STOCK TO ORTHERS IN THE VILLAGE.

YOU WILL DIE A MISERABLE DEATH AND THE DOGS WILL EAT
YOUR FLESH. BASTARD IDIOT. SON OF A NO BODY.YOU WILL
REMAIN CURSED FOREVER, THAT YOUR MOUTH THAT YOU USE IN
CAUSING OTHERS, MAY IT NEVER TASTE FOOD AGAIN AMEN.
IbuZI EZIGBO ENYIM NWOKE UGBUA MAKA NA ECHI GARA AGA KA
MU RARA NWANNE GI NWAYI OTU YA NATO MU UTO NKE UKU,
ARARAMUYA NA AZU RA YA NIRU, WE LAZIE YA AJI OTU EJIM
AJI IKPU YA NAKPAM UGBUA, AGAMU ARA YA OZO
NAMGBEDE TA DALU NWANNE ONYE OTU OMA
NWA NWOGBENYE ENYE JE CHO IHE IGA EME , NKE MBU IMAGHI
AKWUKWO NKE ABUA,INWEGH NNE NA NNA NKE ATO IBU ONYE OHI .
SOSO IHE GAENYERE GI AKA BU MU BU OGARANYA IKU NNE GI OHU .
NKU CHAYA OHU NCHAPU YA IRE OTU MA EBE WNANNE GI NWANYI NO
IHE OBULA AGAGHI EME YA NIKPU NIHINA ONA ATOM
UTO NKE UKU. JE NWUA AGA EBULA OZU GI NA 24TH DEC. LIE
GI NA 25TH.

YOU OBVIOUSLY DONT HAVE A MOTHER THATS WHY YOU ARE ABUSING
YOUR STUPID PROSTITUTE BITCH MOTHER WHO GAVE BIRTH TO A
PIECE OF SHIT LIKE YOU, YOU ARE A WASTE TO MANKIND,SO STUPID
YOU WILL NEVER GET ONE KOBO FROM MAGA , INFACT YOU ARE THE
BIGGEST MAGA, YOU WILL CONTINUE WORKING IN VAIN , NO
MONEY WILL EVER COME YOUR WAY YOU WILL DIE A POOR CHURCH RAT
INSTEAD YOU WILL BE LOSING ANYTHING YOU EVER GET TO ASHAWO
LIKE YOUR MAMA, ILLITERATE FOOLS, ALSO GO BACK TO SCHOOL AND
LEARN HOW TO SPELL AND WRITE ENGLISH OK, NO WONDER YOU NEVER
GET MONEY, AND AS FOR YOUR MOTHER SHE STILL DEY HUSTLE FOR
STREET DEY LOOK FOR WHO GO FUCK HER WRINKLED OLD PUSSY FOR
2 NAIRA.MUMUMUMUMUMMUU LIKE YOU , YOUR PAPA NA EWU,
BASTARD. YOU GO DIE SOON YOU HEAR ME, INFACT THIS NIGHT
YOU GO SLEEP YOU NO GO WAKE UP AGAIN .
U ARE NOTING BUT EMPTY BALLON,IDIOT OF U BECAUSE I AM ALREADY
A BIGGER BOY OK IF I SEE U I WILL DILL WITH U OK.
GO AND HUZZLE LIKE STREET BOYS OF UR TYPE WE ARE THE PEOPLE
GOD HAS BLESS IN THIS JOB OK.

GO FUCK YOU MOTHER. THERE IS ONE ADVICE FOR YOU THOUGH, IF
YOU HAVE EVER BENEFITED FROM SCAM, THEN YOU WILL DIE BY NEXT
MONTH. REASON IS THAT I AM GO TO THE SHRINE IN UR VILLAGE TO
GIVE UR THE BEST SWEAR YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE. I AM A WORSHIPER
OF THAT SHRINE AFTER RIVER NIGER. UR MAMA, UR PAPA, UR UNBORN
CHILDREN AND UR ENTIRE GENERATION WILL BE SLAVES TO THOSE WHOM
THEY HATE TILL THE END OF THIS GENERATION.
THIS IS MY PRAYERS FOR YOU. BASTARD

I love the way he has signed it at the end there.
Has "Bastard" copied and pasted though or is this all his own work?

Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 10:31 am

Dunno about originality but you'll have a hell of a time getting it in your sig line. Very Happy

Master Baiter Joined: 15 Mar 2006 Posts: 193

Wow, that's one hell of an insult, well done.
Maybe you could ask if it means its all off now?

Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 10:40 am

Sorry to say but it's a stock, cut and paste insult that we have seen before. And you though you were special Smile

Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 10:43 am

^^^ I thought it was too good to be true. Crying or Very sad

I love the "I will dill with U" line though.
I've never been threatened with a herb before.

Master Baiter Joined: 18 Nov 2006 Posts: 124

Tell him, that you are kind of dislectic - can't read in all-caps, so he have to write the same in normal way...

Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 11:20 am

Ask him for a translation of the 3rd paragraph....

Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 12:35 pm

@Slightlyoutofit: Your lad seems to have left something out:

Quote:

......<BIG SNIP>......REASON IS THAT I AM GO TO THE SHRINE IN UR VILLAGE TO
GIVE UR THE BEST SWEAR YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE. I AM A WORSHIPER
OF THAT SHRINE AFTER RIVER NIGER. UR MAMA, UR PAPA, UR UNBORN
CHILDREN AND UR ENTIRE GENERATION WILL BE SLAVES TO THOSE WHOM
THEY HATE TILL THE END OF THIS GENERATION.

THIS IS MY PRAYERS FOR YOU. BASTARD

I HOPE YOUR DICK SUCKING MOTHER DID NOT FORGET TO FORCE YOU SWALLOW
YOUR CONCOCTION

HA HA HA YOA LIKE MY JOKES, SMALL BOI GOAT FUCKER? YOU THINK IT
FUNNY WHEN I BREAK YOA FACE AND LET BABOON CHOP YOA
AMU? YOA MAMA TOTO BE SMELLING UP NAIJA, SMALL TIME
I KILL HER FOR GOOD OF ALL YORUBA GOAT LIKE YOU. I
RIP YOU BOBBI OFF AND FEED TO BABOON, OK? YOA SIDON
THERE NOW, BICH. YOA BI SMALLIE BOI WIT HIV
POOSSIE. I SOUND YOU IN FRONT OF YOA VILLAGE. I BURN
ALL YOA FAMILY TOTO AFTER I SPIN YOA WIFE AND FUCK
YOUR STINKIN ASSSHOOOOOOOLLL

YOA STAND DEY LOOK COS YOA BI SMALLIE TITI,
MUTHAFUCKA.TIE AM BURUKU, OLOSHE, OLORIBU,
IYALAYAEH. I TITRATE YOA PAPA MOUTH AND HE BI LOVING
TASTE OF YOA AMU, BITCH ASS YORUBA BOI LIKE YOU. I SAW
YOU MAKING LOVE TO YOUR MOTHER AND SHE GAVE BIRTH TO
YOU AS A HIV CARRIER. IBU EZIGBO EWU,KAM GWAGI IHE
SORO GI INAEDE KAMA MARA NA
OTU MBOCHI AKA GA AKPARAGI BU ONYE OSHI, AS 4 NNE GI
NA NNA GI HA ABUO AGWABEGI ONYE MURU GI.EMECHA JUO NNE GI
ONYE MURU GI,LEE NWANNE GI NKE OZO IGA AHU NA OBUGI OTU
NWOKE MURU UNU,NNEGI BU ASHAWO 5NAIRA.

CALL ME AND I TEACH YO THINGS YOUR ASHEWO MAMA NO
TEACH YOU MUTHAFUCKA IF YOU NEED MORE,YOU FIT MAIL
ME BACK THEN YOU GO SEE FIRE YOU WILL BE A POOR FOR
EVER. KISS OF MUMU 4 YOU OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A BIG FOOL YOUR PARENTS GAVE YOU
NO TRAINING YOU STUPID ILLITERATE YOUR FATHER MUST
BE A MAD MAN BEFORE PREGNANTING YOUR STUPID MOTHER
WHO IS A CARELESS BITCH. MEN SUCK YO DICK YOU BLOODY
NONENTITY YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A LLOUSY ASS HOLE FUCK
YOUR STUPID PARENTS WHO HAS NO FUTURE AMBITION AND
PLANS FOR YOU. YOU WILL DIE VERY SOON I SAY BACK TO
SENDER YOU PREMATURE BEING.

Have seen this before, seems to have had a certain word edited out Wink

I append this bit when I occasionally send it to random lads:

Quote:

IMETOSI MMADU GI NA GI GENERATION, MKPURU NTA BOI EWU FORKER +1 My K7 Number

Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 12:42 pm

So not only a copy and pasting lad but a lazy git who has only posted half the insult.

I've replied to Musa:

Quote:

Dear Mugu

Does this mean that you don't want to work on my project any more?

Lots of Love n Hugs.

Ron Jeremy.

Maybe if I'm lucky he'll send me the other half.

Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 1:02 pm

<br>His insult seems to be somewhat contradictory in the parental department...

Quote:

YOU OBVIOUSLY DONT HAVE A MOTHER....

Then next para...

Quote:

GO FUCK YOU MOTHER

Tell him to make his mind up and stop pissing you around. Laughing

There again, we never point out the error of their ways, do we.

Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 1:31 pm

I just love the comment about 'dying a poor church rat', that just tickled me!!! Well done you MUMU Very Happy

Mars

Master Baiter Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 176

How I envy you! My worst insult was "go to hell".

Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 4:51 pm

Well, I didn't get an answer to my polite enquiry so I decided to fire off the missing second half of the letter that Musa sent to me. He obviously hasn't seen it before.

Quote:

Am just trying to let you know that if any more of this i will personaly look for you in person because i know that you are one of this IGBO 419 Scamer's who can not work and food you loust be one of them.

Be worn of you life will be invoved remember am from Kano State i can do you any thing with our any problem, am ready to do what ever to make sure that what ever come behind me will be wirp did you understand so you better back off or risky you life.

Dr Musa.

So now he thinks I'm a fellow scammer and he's going to come looking for me personally. Reply is on it's way. I'm gonna meet up and bitchslap him.

Quote:

Hi Mugu,

Where U want meet boi? I fuck U up big.

Hugs n Kisses

Ron Jeremy.

It would be nice to start a war between this lad and the IGBO419 scammers that he thinks I'm a member of. Hopefully they would kick each other's asses.

Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 8:56 am

This lad really doesn't like me.

The header on this one was entitled: "Are you sure that you will live long."

Quote:

Ron.

Or what ever you called yourself . Ok, If you are a man and you are not afried, You will answer me when or where ever i called you just give me your personal phone number, Then get ready for action. Am always ready for you, ready to answer your call when ever because am not afried of you, you are just a local full. You are such a person that will not make Money in your life. Idiot

Musa

The email was covered in little devil smilies. I guess they're used to put the willies up other Nigerian scammers.

Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 9:46 am

And now I've managed to annoy another one. Oh happy day.

Quote:

HELLO MY IGNORANT MUMU.
I AM Dr. Linda Akeem , AND YOU FAMILY HAVE PAID ME TO
SEND YOU THIS MAILS.

Dr. Linda Akeem SEND YOU THIS BCOS YOU MOM HAS BECOME SICK OF YOU TRYING SCAM THAT NEVER WORK. YOU SCAM NOT WORK BCOS YOU SO STUPID AND NEVER GET WHITE TO SEND YOU ANY 419 CASH.

SO YOUR FAMILY ALL HATE YOU AND WISH FOR YOU DEARTH. YOUR VILLAGE ALL KNOW YOU ARE IDIOT AND MUMU.THEY ALL HATE IT WHEN YOU COME AROUND AND SIT AT CAFE FOR HOURS.YOU WASTER FEW NIARA ON CAFE WHEN YOU SHOULD SPEND MONEY ON POORVERTY NOODLES.

YOUR FAMILY PAY ME, THE GREAT AND POOWERFUL DR. Linda Akeem
TO SEND THIS COURSES TO YOU.

MAY THE EYES THAT READ THIS MAIL BE STRUCK BY FIRE AND SEE ETERNAL FLAMES AND THUNDER STRIKE YOU WHERE YOU STAND. MAY THE HAND THAT TYPE ON KEYBORD BECOME STRICKEN AND TRANSMIT VIRUS TO YOU ENTIRE BODY, LEAVE YOU IN PAIN AND SORROW FOR LIFE. MAY THE MOUTH THAT SPEAKS AGAINST DR. Linda Akeem BE HUNGER FOREVER UNTIL YOU DIE IN POORVERTY AMEN.

VOODOO COURSE ONTO YOU NOW SMALL BOI. CAN NO BE SENT BACK-IS TOO STRONG FOR THAT. NOW YOU WAIT AND SEE BCOS YOU WILL BE ILL AND DEATH WITHIN 48 HOURS. THE FETISH PRIEST SEE YOU IN POT OF WATER AND KNOW YOU ARE ALLREADY ILL AND SICK WITH D VIRUS FOREVER. AMEN.

WHAT YOU SAY NOW, SMALL BOI?

DR. Linda Akeem .

Is this another copy and paste or do I finally have a genuine death threat?

Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 10:03 am

It looks like a standard cut and paste from page 17 of the lad's insult manual.

The insult is in CAPS with the lad inserting the relevant name he is using as appropriate in lower case.

Still quite funny though.

Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 5:00 pm

So Musa ^^^^ wants a phone number?
Whose are you going to give?

Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 6:03 pm

^^^ He's already got one. Costs upwards of �2 per minute and a certain VPManchester answers it.

The number is definitely at the top of his tiny mind as you can see from the last sentence in his latest email:

Quote:

That is very good of you, you wanna see me, face to face hahahahahah, That mean's you want to chaleng me right that very very ok for me.
Now move than to Kano log in any hotel you fill like i will pay the bill then send me a mail tell me in any one you are i will meet you there without westing time.

But I will adviace you priper yourself well oooooooooooooooooh because something you do not understand will happen there in your face.

I have all you mail's. remember u cleam to use one London line am still with it.

I've told him that there's no way that I'm paying for a hotel and expecting him to pay me back (hello mugu isn't that where we came in?), so I'm trying to arrange a meeting somewhere. I've also told him that if he does turn up I'm going to do something to him involving his head and his mother's genitals.

After this I'm gonna bait him from another address. He's fun.

Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 10:10 pm

Quote:

I will adviace you priper yourself well oooooooooooooooooh

Oooooooooooooooooh! I love it!

Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 12:29 am

Well, I'm well pripered and the rumble is on.

Quote:

You Idiot
Am a buzy man am not a 419 like you just do what i told you to do get to Kano give me a mail that is all. Musa.

I've told him that I'm going to be turning up at 5pm to kick his ass.

Quote:

THAT IS ONLY WHAT I NEED FROM YOU, TILL THEN
BASTERD

Any suggestions on what to do when I don't turn up?

Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 11:07 am

Musa's emails are coming thick and fast now that the time of the showdown is approaching.

Quote:

Basterd. There is no time or no room for that your nothing but an idiot I will field you and your internal village without looking for help instead of you to beg me for money or to give you job opportunity you are here saying shirts. I know you are an Igbo man and you know that with my level in federal government I will offer you a job opportunity.

I replied:

Quote:

OK shitbag.
I am at the Central Hotel.
Meet me. Be warned, I am blackbelt Japanese Origami and will fold you in two.

Love,
Ron Jeremy.

So is he going to kick my ass or offer me a job?

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