The King Takes a Safari....

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Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 3:06 pm

OK, well this is the ongoing story of the safari of King Zongo.
It�s been very difficult condensing the more than 300 Emails that King Zongo has sent to my character these past couple of weeks, but hopefully, you will get the gist of things and will have a chuckle at his expense as I most certainly have.

Before I begin though, I must lavish my gratitude upon Marvinator and Persephone for their invaluable contributions at critical moments of this bait.

OK, so my character is a beautiful, busty blonde who is in an unhappy marriage to a wealthy businessman.
After a couple of intial Emails with King Zongo, I start to spin a web of deciept, and almost immediately the original scam is forgotten.

Quote:

Hello King Zongo,

I am very pleased that you replied to me because, this sounds like the
answer to my prayers.
I have to confess that I am not very clever with financial dealings, but
this really is too good an opportunity to miss.

Lets get to know each other better and hopefully you will still want to
share with me.
I must insist though.
PLEASE DO NOT send me letter mail or try to phone me. I am married to an extremely possessive man and he would go beserk if he knew that you and I were in contact.
The situation is going to be very difficult for me, and I will have to
be very sneaky and tell lies to my husband if you still want to be involved
with me

I hope that this is alright and that you still want to share this opportunity
with me?

If so I will let you have my personal details and my photographs.

M xx

Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 3:20 pm

Well King Zongo, was happy to proceed and even more so when he had seen my personal details and photographs...

Quote:

DEAR LOVING ONE
DO NOT WURRY LET FINISH UP THIS TRANSACTION THEN I WILL SHOW YOU LOVE I MEAN, I WILL SHOW YOU ON HOW TO SATISFY A BEAUTIFUL DOVE LIKE YOU I AM BAD IN BED I I WILL LIKE TO MAKE YOU MY VICTIM IN SEXY HOT HOT GIG GIG NON STOPING

I AM SEEING YOUR FACE VERY FAR BUT YOUR LOVE IS AS SHINING LIKE A DIAMOND IN MY HEART DO YOU LIKE LOVE MAKE 3 TIMES EVERY DAY ? CAN YOU ? SEXING IS MY HUBBY I WILL DRIVE YOU CRAZY

DO NOT WORRY I WILL SEND TO YOU MY PICTURE VERY SOON BUT GIRL I AM NOT HANSOME BUT I AM A BANKER THAT LOVES YOU AND I WILL NOT LIVE YOU AWAY.SO MAY I SEND TO YOU THE APPLICATION THAT YOU ARE GOING TO RE- COP TO THE SECURITY COMPANY.

LOOK, IF YOUR MAN IS HOT DO NOT WORRY HE WILL SOON BE COLD DAED BY THE TIME I WILL TAKE YOU A WAY VERY FAR I WILL SOW HIGH WITH YOU A LOVING SOW LIKE AN EAGLE IN A HIGH MOUNTIN AND I WOULD GET HOLD OF YOUR TWO SWEETEN BANCING LOVING BREASTS.

NOIW, VOW TO ME THAT YOU WILL NOT DISAPPOINT ME RIGHT NOW I AM CRYING FOR YOUR LOVE BUT BUSINESS FIRST SO THAT WE CAN DATE WHERE TO MEET.BE CAREFUL OF YOUR HUSBAND
K Zongo

Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 3:20 pm

300 emails? How does it work in Africa, with these internet cafes? I wonder if it is cheap to spend all day in one. In Cze it is pretty expensive. CLark

Not quite a Newb Joined: 13 Dec 2006 Posts: 34

Quote:

DEAR LOVING ONE
DO NOT WURRY LET FINISH UP THIS TRANSACTION THEN I WILL SHOW YOU LOVE I MEAN, I WILL SHOW YOU ON HOW TO SATISFY A BEAUTIFUL DOVE LIKE YOU I AM BAD IN BED I I WILL LIKE TO MAKE YOU MY VICTIM IN SEXY HOT HOT GIG GIG NON STOPING

Is that the Africaan form of "Giggidy Giggidy"? Laughing

Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 3:49 pm

My character was bombarded with romantic messages of love... Confused

Quote:

YEAH MY PRITTY PRICESS
CRYING LIKE A BABY WOULD GIVE ME MORE PLEASURE TO DRIVE YOU CRAZY OOOH
HAA OOOH HAA ZK ZK ZK KILL ME F*CK IT F*CK OHHH IS GOOOOG HA HO OOH HIGH POWER STATION. OOOON

NOW WHEN ARE U COMING STILL NO DATE ? CONFIRM URGENTLY.

Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 3:53 pm

Not surprisingly, my character succumbed to such a charming suitor and a scheme was hatched.....

Quote:

Hello King Zongo,

Anyway, as I told you before, my husband has a bonus scheme for his
employees, which should be paid on the 16th.

As you agreed with me, if I wait until that time to empty the business
account, then there will be even more money available for us to run away
with. Maybe even as much as �60,000.

So my plan is to empty the account on the morning of the 16th, and then
run as fast as I can to the airport and get the first available flight
to Africa.

I will need to be very quick because the men will go to the bank at
lunchtime to check that their salary has been paid, and then all hell
will break loose....!!!!

I hope that you appreciate the huge risks that I am taking just to be
with you, and that you will be there to meet me when I arrive in Africa,
because I will be too frightened to be in Africa alone.
M xx

Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 4:20 pm

I had been suggesting that he meet me in Gambia, because it happens to be a country that I know quite well, and I could catch a direct flight from England, but he was having none of that, so I suggested a compromise of meeting in Ghana, which King Zongo was delighted with.

Quote:

MY BABY DOVE
WHY GAMBIA NOW ? HUM GAMBIA IS A ZONE OF REBEL IN AFRICA PLEASE WE DO ALL IN OUAGADOUGOU PLEASE DO NOT CHANGE UR MIND TO GAMBIA COS IT WILL NOT BE POSIBLE FOR ME. I TELL YOU I WILL SICURE YOU AND WE ARE GOING TO LEAVE LILE A GING AND QUEN
PLEASE ERASE GAMBIA FROM UR THOUGHT WE SHALL MOVE ROUND SOME OF THE LOVELY AFRICAN COUNTRY SO IWILL MAKE YOU WAT TOU WISH TO BE

Quote:

OK OK I AM NOW HAPPY
ACCRA I CAN USE FALSE ID TO COME DOWN TO ACCRA EVEN IN LAGOS

YOU WILL TELL ME UR FLIGHT SCHEDULE TO ACCRA
GHANA IS HAVING COMMON BOARDER WITH US SO IT WILL TAKE ME A DAY TRIP BUT FOR GAMBIA NO WAY I HAVE NOT BEEN THERE

I AM WAITING FOR UR FLIGHT SCHEDULE AND WHEN DO YOU WANT ME TO START MY TRIP TO GHANA .?

Ah, music to my ears, let the safari begin...... Wink

Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 4:30 pm

The King Leaves Burkina Faso

IP address = Burkina Faso = 212.52.146.118

Quote:

HELLO MY LONELY GIRL.
LISTEN CAREFULLY , DO YOU REALLY UNDERSTAND THAT I AM READING ONE BY ONE ALL THAT YOU ARE MAILING ME ?

ARE YOU VERY SURE AND SERIOS OF YOUR WORDS ? COS I DON'T WANNA BE STRANDED IN GHANA COS ACCRA IS A BIG BEAUTIFUL CAPITAL CITY OF GHANA WITH BEAUTIFUL CRIMES OF VERIOUS KINDS. IF YOU ARE NOT COMING PLEASE, DO NOT LET ME OUT OF MY COUNTRY TO ANOTHER COUNTRY FOR NOTHING.

MY SIZE IN SHEOS IS 41 THE SMALL SIZE AND I LIKE LACING FOOT WARES AND MY JEANS WAIST SIZE IS 32

AND I LIKE THE NOKIA TYPE THE ONE WITH VIDEO CAMERA SOUND SYSTEM ON IT AND THE SONY VIDEO CAMRA.

Mxxxxx LOOK, I AM NOT A BIG PERSON I AM A LITTLE BIT SLIM NATURAL AND NOT TOO TALL AT ALL BUT NOW BECAUSE OF YOU I AVE REDUCED COMPLETELY BECAUSE OF THINKING AND THINKING ABOUT YOU EVERY DAY.

NO THE SECURITY GUY WILL NOT COME AGAIN I ALSO THAUGHT OF WHAT YOU HAVE JUST REASON OUT SO I HAVE COUNCILED IT BECAUSE HE KNOWS GHANA ALITLE BIT MORE THAN ME SO I WANTED HIM TO ACCOMPANY ME TO GHANA THAT IS ALL

THAT IS GONE SECONDLY I DICORVERED THAT HE CAN NOT KEEP SECRIT SO I ALONE FOR YOU NOT OK ? ARE YOU HAPPY OR YOU ARE NOT HAPPY ? AND TELL ME HOW MUCH MONEY ARE YOU COMING HERE WITH ? ARE YOU COMING WITH UR BMW TOO ? AND HOW WILL YOU DO IF YOU SHOULD USE THE BMW TO TRIP UR LOGAGES TO THE AIR PORT THEN, WHO IS TAKING IT BECK HOME FROM THE AIR PORT FOR YOU ?

Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 9:20 am

Well King Zongo arrives in Accra, Ghana as planned, but sadly I do not arrive, and I recieve the following Emails from a disgruntled mugu 3 hours after our 9:00 pm meeting...

He is especially upset, when I Email him to say that I had problems with my journey, and I travelled to Lagos instead.. Wink

The King Arrives In Ghana

IP address = Ghana = 196.44.103.5

Quote:

I A STRANDED IN GHANA IDIOT TELL UR HEAD WHERE U ARE YOU FUCK ME UP DID U TELL NE THAT U WILL BE GOING TO LAGOS HOPLESS IDIOT I WILLSCANDALISE YOU YOU WILL SEE TO UR SELF AS YOU HAVE THE MIND TO DO THIS TO ME NOW WHERE WILL I GET THE FAIR TO GO BACK TO FASO OH YOU ARE AN AGENT OF SATAN

Quote:

U ARE AS STUPID AS A HORSE
SO U ARE LIKE THIS THAT I SHOULD BE STRANDED IN A LAND THAT IS NOT MINE OK I WILL DO TO SOME THING MORE SERIOUS THAN WHAT YOU HAVE JUST DONE TO ME NO JUST WATCH OUT IDIOT WOMON

Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 10:15 am

Quote:

OH YOU ARE AN AGENT OF SATAN

But ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^quote sums it up nicely.... Laughing

Great work...there is nothing like stranded Lad speak.
Siggy mat out the whazoo!!!

Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 11:00 am

No GIG GIG for your mugu, no wonder why he's so upset Laughing

.

Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 11:06 am

My plan was to get King Zongo to travel from Accra to Lagos to collect me but this is where I made a mistake.
Zongo has a younger brother that lives in Lagos, and Zongo was adamant that I should contact his brother to collect me.
Somehow, with the help of Persephone, I managed to avoid giving the name of my hotel in Lagos, and amazingly King Zongo was kept kicking his heels in Ghana for a further three days and nights.

Until I came up with this bumper pile of bullshit which King Zongo swallowed hook line and sinker.

Quote:

When I phoned you last night the man on reception really
frightened me.
I hate it here and I just want to get away. He keeps telling me that the
telephone is broken so I don't need the number because they are getting
a new one, but I know that it isn't broken because I have heard it
ringing.

It�s a really small guest house with only about 6 rooms and it is on
Lekki Expressway. The taxi driver that brought me here mumbled something about it being called the Protea or Prestige something like that, but there isn't a sign in the driveway. And that really worries me...I feel like I�m being kept as a prisoner here...!!

Quote:

There is a guest here who is from Lome and he said that he will take me
there right now, he is a nice older man and he has been very kind to me.
He said that because he comes from Lome and because I have a British
passport we will not have any problems, but he has found out that some
Nigerian men at the airport singled me out from the crowd and brought me here for one reason..!!
I am sure that you can guess what that reason is...!!!

I cannot go back to the airport in Lagos because the same gang of men
are always there and they will catch me, please meet me at the Lome
Cathedral tonight.

How long will it take you to get there...?
I will be leaving very shortly, as soon as we are sure that
we are not being watched by the men at the front of the hotel

Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 11:44 am

The mention of being abducted and held in Lekki seemed to ring frighteningly true, because King Zongo really got into a panic.

Was it because I was in danger, or was it because my suitcase containing �72,000, mobile phones, laptop and video camera were also in peril..?

Quote:

I AM CRYING HERE WHEN YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU ARE AT LEKKI SIDE
DO NOT SLEEP THERE TO NIGHT COS YOUR DAYS ARE COUNTING THERE THAT IS THE PLACE WHERE THEY SELLS HUMAM HEADS IN NIGERIA MY GOOD GOD.

LISTEN YOU SHOULD NOT ALLOW ANY BODY TO GET HOLD OF YOUR LOGUAGE ELSE THE WOULD DESAPARE WITH IT AND YOU SHOULD NOT BEHAVE AS IF YOU ARE A STRANGER OR AS I F YOU ARE AFRAID DO WHAT I TELL YOU TO DO RIGHT NOW COS NIGERIA IS TOO BIG TROBLE

Quote:

U WILL LOOSE YOUR LIFE IN AMY OF THE BOARDER SIDE COSTHIEVES WOULD ATTACH YOU
GO TO THE AIR PORT AND MAKE A MOVE ROM THERE .YES LOME IS GOOD BUT DO NOT GO BY LAND IS THERE ANY FLIGHT TO LOME AND HOW ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE THE MOVE IS IT IS BY LAND

DO YOU WANT TO DIE FOR NOTHING WHY ARE YOU NOT FOLLOWING UP MY ADVICE

AND HOW MANY LOGUAGED HAVE YOU OVER THERE ARE SAVE WITH THE MONEY AND I HOPE YOU DID NOT TELL ANT OF THEM THAT YOU ARE WUITH SUCH MONEY

Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 12:53 pm

I deliberately ignored other incoming Emails from King Zongo, to give him the impression that I genuinely was making my escape to Lome.

At midnight I got this Email from the King.... Very Happy

The King Goes To Togo

IP address = Togo = 80.248.65.174

Quote:

HELLO MY PRITTY PRINCESS
LISTEN, OK ? YOUSHOULD NOT MESS UP UR SELF WITH ANY BODY AND YOU SHOULD BE VERY CAREFUL WITH THAT MAN WITH YOU AND DO NOT TELL HIM THAT YOU ARE CARRYING SUCH MUCH MONEYAMOUNT WITH YOU ELSE, U ARE IN BIGTROBLE.

SO SHALL IT BE TILL WE SEE FACE TO FACE AND IT WON"T BE TOO LONG THOUH U ARE IN A HARD SITUATION FOR NOW BUT ALL WILL SOON COME TO PAST SO BE WARE OF THAT MAN WITH YOU COS GHE MIGHT BE AFRTER UR MONEY AS YOU MAY NOT KNOWW BUT TAKE IT SO AND MOVE WITH HIM SYSTEMATICALLY AND DO NOT FORGET OUR GREAT BLUE HONEY MOON MUSICAL THAT I HAVE ALREADY PREPARED FOR YOU AND DO NOT FORGET ME AND REMEBER UR MAIN MAN I AM CRYING COS I DO NOT KNOW THE WHERE ABOUT OF MY ROSE OF SHARON AND THE LILLY OF MY VALLY SO DO NOT WALK A WAY YOUR TIME HAS COME TO LEAVE ME BEHIND WE WILL LIVE AND DI TOGETHER SO I AM STILL WEEPING AND WAILING COS I HAVE MISSED MY PRECIOUS GOLD PRINCESS

THIS UR EVER LOVING AND SEXING REMOTIVE HUSBAND THAT YOU CAN NEVER MISS INLIFE SO MXXXXX DO NOT FORGET THAT YOU HAVE A GREAT MISSION FOR ME I WOULD PREPARE YOU AS A GREAT ARTRESS THAT THE WHOLE WOULD WOULD KNOW BUT WHERE ARE YOU ?

TEARS OF PAINS DROPING FROM MY EYES

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

Nice bait and safari, Simba, so many great sig lines in those mails as well Laughing

Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 1:16 pm

Well done! Laughing

Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 1:51 pm

When I knew that King Zongo had arrived in Togo, I thought that it would be a good idea to let him stew for awhile, so I ignored all of his Emails asking where I let him spend a 2nd night in Togo, before I contacted him again..

Quote:

Hello King Zongo,

I am so happy to hear from you, and I hope that things have been OK for
you in Lome? Did you sleep in the cathedral?

My goodness gracious me, what a couple of days I have had...!!

When we left that place in Lagos we headed directly to the border, and
we got there without any problems at all, but at the border they kept us
waiting for ages and we were really worried that the Lagos gang might
catch us again....!!

Not to worry though, eventually they let us pass the border, but they
had delayed us for so long that it was already dark.

They searched one of my suitcases but luckily it was the one with my
clothes in and not the one with all of the goodies that I have for you
with the designer jeans, video camera, phones, laptop and all of the
money...!!

We carried on driving for quite a while but it was getting so late at
night and we didn't have much petrol left, so he suggested that we spend
the night at his sisters house as we were quite close to her.

So this is what we did, and they were so kind to me, but her house is
very remote and she didnt have a phone or internet access, thats why I
wasn't able to tell you where I was or what was happening.
I am really so very sorry for that, do you forgive me...?

Anyway, the plan was to drive me into Contonou with his sister but the
car wouldn't start...typical eh..??

Anyway, the car is now working again and we have driven into a small
town to get some more petrol and provisions, they even have an internet
cafe here, and that is where I am right at this very moment.

Later today we will can drive into a major town, but the man can't drive
me to Lome as he has to go back to Nigeria tonight.
Apparently, there is a big town called Cotonou, and they could take me
there later, so will you please come to meet me there....??

I am still very nervous about travelling on my own so I won't catch a
bus or anything, but please would you come to Cotonou to collect
me....???

I have to go now, but I will try to contact you again later today, and
we can agree where you are going to meet me in Cotonou later today.

Byeeeee for now,
Love,
M xx

Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 2:01 pm

Nice mugu you got there, Simba. Now..... where is that pith helmet?????

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

He seems an especially dumb, although verbose, lad. Nice find! Laughing

Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 2:06 pm

He is a prize guy, and no mistake.. Wink

And I think there is still some mileage to be squeezed out of him yet....even if he doesn't yet know it himself... Laughing

Not quite a Newb Joined: 13 Dec 2006 Posts: 34

LOL
I can hardly wait for your next episode!!!! Laughing

Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 6:48 am

Hi Simba--

GR8 B8 there. You're jiggy with the giggy! Avoid his diggy. Make him wiggy.

Hmm..Ouadougou, your lad says. And his name is Z****..Could it be Z***O? It's a name as common as Smith and Jones there.

I'll bet he loves to use the rose icon.

cheerz---jervis

Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 10:58 am

^^^^^^I don't think that we are baiting the same mugu, judging from the checks that I have made, and the fact that my boy describes his occupation as:

�MUSIC PRUDUCER, PORN FILM DIRECTER AND BANK MANAGR�

but as I said in my PM to you...

Burkina Faso certainly seems to be producing a fine product for export at the moment... Laughing

Not quite a Newb Joined: 13 Dec 2006 Posts: 34

�MUSIC PRUDUCER, PORN FILM DIRECTER AND BANK MANAGR�

well, bwess him widdle haht...isnt he a busy little mugu!

Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 1:31 pm

Just found this thread... Congrats Simba!

Very nice work. Where are you taking him next?

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